by Jill Lynn
Yours died on the tip of Jace’s tongue. But was that true? He did love bull riding. The sport had become his somewhere along the way.
“I’m not going to tell you to quit,” Evan continued.
“You’d be the first, then.”
“But just...think before you go back. You’ve had a great career. There’s nothing wrong with retiring before it takes you down for good. I know this sport. I know what it does to guys, how it messes up their bodies. If continuing is about what happened to me in any way, it doesn’t need to be. Because you and I... We’re good. If there’s anyone to blame for my accident, it’s me. I knew better than to handle anything the way I did. It was stupid. A fluke. But it wasn’t your fault.”
Jace’s cheeks were damp, his heart pounding as his brother signed off.
* * *
After Jace left and the vet finished up, Mackenzie sent her brother a panicked text that she needed a minute—or more like an hour—and escaped.
But her escape wasn’t from Wilder Ranch; it was to it.
The earthy smell, the crisp, clean mountain air and hot summer breeze had all unwound her. Going for a ride had, like nothing else would, righted her world.
Mackenzie couldn’t give up this place. And if Jace loved riding as much as she loved Wilder Ranch, then it made sense that he couldn’t quit that dream. Even for her. Even with his head injury. She should be able to accept that and realize it wasn’t about her.
But it felt like it was.
Big-time.
All of these years she’d been wrong—it wasn’t the note that had caused the most pain. It was the fact that Jace had left in the first place. Because this round was just as painful. Maybe even more so because she’d realized that she still loved the man.
He was the one. And yet...he couldn’t be. Not when he was determined to risk life and limb for a stupid sport. Mackenzie couldn’t wrap her brain around that.
She led Buttercup back to the corral and removed her saddle. Sable came to check her out, nosing around her shirt. “I didn’t bring you a treat, girl. I’m not your boy. He left us for greener pastures.”
The ride had helped, but it hadn’t dissolved the wretched war wound of Jace’s departure. It was still there, pulsing inside her, cramming her throat.
She needed something good, something pure and full of hope to wash away the encounter she’d had with Jace an hour ago.
God, if You have any comfort to send my way, any wisdom, I’ll take it.
Gladly.
“Hey.” Luc’s voice came from close by.
She turned. “I didn’t hear you coming this way.”
“Called your name twice.”
Oops. Mackenzie exited the corral and placed her saddle on the ground. Luc had Everly with him—her hair was darker and fuller. A good thing since it helped in telling the girls apart.
“Can I hold her?”
“Of course.” Luc handed the baby over immediately, and Mackenzie snuggled Everly into her arms like a football. Dark chocolate eyes peered up at her. This would work for something pure and sweet to ease the pain thrumming through her veins.
“I can’t get over how much they look like Cate.”
Luc’s cheeks creased. “And we’re all thankful for it.” He nudged her saddle with his boot. “How was the ride? Did it work?”
“Fine. Yes and no.” She was still drowning, even though there was no water in sight.
“How are you feeling about Jace leaving?”
“Like I don’t want to talk about it.” Mackenzie stared at Everly’s perfect little features instead of her brother. Pink lips formed an O shape and then slid into something close to a smile. Probably gas, but Mackenzie would take it.
“I’m shocked.”
A short laugh escaped.
“Are you done being angry at me for hiring him?”
“Nope.” If Luc hadn’t hired Jace, then her body wouldn’t currently be registering at trampled-by-a-herd-of-cattle levels.
“I thought the two of you were finally going to figure things out, make it work. And then you’d owe me forever and ever because it was all my doing.”
Mackenzie attempted a smile, the movement slow—like creaky old hinges that barely budged. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? It’s hard to be with someone who won’t stick around.”
“That’s what you’re upset about? Jace going back to riding? Why? That’s his job. Of course he’s going to go back.”
Mackenzie barely resisted a groan. Men. “I know that. But he had a pretty major head injury when he got here, and it’s not fully healed. And I doubt his arm is ready to go either. Partially rehabbed seems to be good enough for him. What if he gets tossed from a bull again? Another concussion right now would cause even more damage. How much more can he take before it affects him forever?”
“I’m assuming you said all of that and he didn’t listen.”
She nodded.
“Then you tried. He made his decision, even if it is a poor one in your opinion. So why don’t you just love him through it? You already do. Might as well let yourself.”
Everly made a sweet complaint, so Mackenzie switched the baby to her shoulder and lightly patted her back. “I don’t...” What was the point of fighting it? Had she ever not loved Jace? It had been seven years, and no, she’d never fallen out of love with the man the way she’d fallen in. Last time she’d thought he didn’t love her back when he left. But this time she knew better. He’d been keeping his feelings in check, just like she had been.
He’d asked her to wait...and she’d said no. No, because it wasn’t convenient for her to live without him in the waiting. No, because she was afraid he’d hurt himself.
She should have said yes.
“Is Jace getting injured again going to change how you feel about him?”
“No.” It wasn’t. But it could hurt like crazy. “Since when are you such an expert on love?”
“Since I almost lost Cate for the second time, and you didn’t let me. You fought me on that, and you were right.”
Her mouth bowed, this time fluid, easy. “Wait. Say that again. I was what?”
“You were right. And now I’m right. Because I have never seen you even remotely interested in someone else the way you are with Jace. There are no comparisons, because there hasn’t ever been anyone else for you. Amiright?”
“Did you just mush that together like a teenager?”
“Yep. Nailed it, too.”
“You are such a dork.” She didn’t want to give Luc the satisfaction of finding his lame joke funny, but humor surfaced.
“Now’s when you can admit how right I am.”
Not out loud. Definitely not out loud. “Nope.” Her eyes were wet, her smile wobbly. And her brother just let it all slide.
He hugged her. “Okay, stubborn.” Everly was tucked between them, so Luc left room for her. She twisted her head to figure out what was happening, and Luc pressed a kiss to the baby’s hair before letting go, backing up.
“Even if things don’t work out with Jace, you’ve got us, Kenzie. And God. He’s consistent. Even when we don’t feel like He’s with us, He still is.”
That was the truth that gave her the most hope, the most peace. “Thanks. I’m doing better at remembering that.”
Everly fussed and sucked on her hand.
“I should get her back. Think it’s time to feed them. Cate’s been sticking to a pretty tight schedule, or we all lose our minds.”
Mackenzie handed the bundle over to Luc, immediately missing Everly’s comfort and the scent of her fruity baby shampoo.
“Are you going to be all right?”
“I think so.” Maybe. Hopefully. Especially if she figured out the answers to a few other questions. Like...did she really believe that Jace loved her? That the man had legit reason
s holding him captive, making him choose the rodeo over her all over again? And that loving him through this hard time might be one of the best things she’d ever done?
Mackenzie thought maybe yes.
Definitely yes.
“Think you can live without me for a couple of days?”
A knowing grin ignited. She didn’t have to explain anything more. Luc understood. “We can probably make that work.”
Chapter Sixteen
After the conversation with his brother, Jace could hardly see straight. The highway stretched in front of him, seemingly endless, and he was barely past Denver.
When he’d first started rodeoing, he’d loved the long drives. Anticipation had always burned inside him. Today it was more apprehension.
A word he usually didn’t go anywhere near.
But his head—his stupid head—was aching. Would it erupt into more? Or would it calm down? It never really gave him a choice in the matter. Jace popped a pill and took a swig from his coffee cup, using the lukewarm liquid to send what would hopefully bring relief down his throat. He kept his foot heavy on the gas pedal. Heading away from the woman he loved and missed. The desire to call Kenzie, to hear her voice, even though he’d only left her two hours ago, was huge.
He stomped out the idea. He’d done enough damage the second time around, hadn’t he? No need to cause more.
Sweat beaded on his skin. It was sweltering today, warming more as the sun rose higher. Jace had both windows open in his truck, and the blistering air swirled around, making a weak attempt to diffuse the heat. He should really get a truck with air-conditioning in it. And he could. But he’d just figured, why not drive the thing until it died?
Jace had done well with bull riding over the years—until the last few bouts with injuries—and after his first year of blowing through his successes, he’d learned his lesson and begun putting chunks away.
And sending some to his mom.
Crazy to think she’d never used a dime of it. No wonder he’d had to hire the painting out on the house when he got back. And the yardwork. The irony of that one stung. The chore that had once been his that he’d failed at. And had again as an adult.
If she wasn’t going to use the money, then he’d hire some lawn-maintenance place to take care of things. And maybe get someone on retainer for repairs on the house, too. At least that way he wouldn’t feel like such a deadbeat son, leaving her when she was sick.
Sure, she’d been sick for years, but she was getting worse. Anyone could see that.
Would Mackenzie still check on his mom like she used to? Jace’s gut said yes. Which only increased the guilt and upset churning in his stomach.
He should be there to check on her.
He should also feel that old eagerness to return to riding growing with each mile that ticked over on his odometer. That jonesing to see the chute, the bull he’d ride, his friends.
But that was sorely lacking today. Mostly he just felt...like he was driving in the wrong direction.
A bang/hiss boomed, and the truck lurched and swerved. Jace gripped the steering wheel and tried to combat the careening motion, but he overcompensated to the left. The front of the truck veered and dipped. He must have blown a front tire. The air in his lungs evaporated as he wrestled for control of the vehicle.
He let the truck idle down before tapping lightly on the brakes. Amid more turbulence, he managed to slowly come to a stop, off to the side of the road.
Thankfully no one else had been near him, because he’d traveled into both lanes during the aftermath.
Jace turned on his hazards and made sure he had the space to check out his vehicle without getting run over. Sure enough, the left front tire of the truck was blown. He hadn’t checked the tire pressure before leaving town. Must have had a slow leak or something he hadn’t realized wrong with it.
Toss some extra hot weather on top and the tire didn’t stand a chance. Stupid. That was what he was. He knew better. He’d been taking care of vehicles around their house since he’d started to drive.
“Perfect.” He kicked the wreckage. “Just perfect.”
Everything was working against him today. He’d left the ranch late because of his goodbye with Mackenzie, and his mom’s late because of the conversation with Evan.
He was starting to wonder if he actually wanted to leave at all.
I have to go. At least that was what he’d always believed. But talking with Evan had rocked him, made him deal with things he’d left buried for years.
Evan had known it was Jace’s job to mow...and he didn’t blame Jace for the accident. He’d extended grace. Would Jace have done the same in his brother’s position? He didn’t know. He’d like to say he’d do anything for his brother, for his mom, for Kenzie.
But he wasn’t staying in Westbend, even though Mom was sick.
And Mackenzie... She’d asked him to stay, to not go back, and he’d refused. She’d pleaded with him to recognize his physical limitations for his own good. For his own health. And he’d refused to listen.
Sun scorched the back of his neck like licking flames, and his skin sizzled.
All of this time he’d dreamed of getting back up on a bull, and now that he was about to, he was petrified that his head would explode with pain and never recover if he did. Or that he’d get tossed and break something else. Something worse this time that couldn’t be fixed as easily.
How lame was he? How could he not finish what he’d started now? What he’d been fighting for?
Jace went to the back of his truck and fished out his lug-nut wrench from under his things. He’d start by loosening the lug nuts before raising the truck. His hand curled around the metal wrench just as something hit him on the top of the head.
He looked up. The sky was mostly clear. A few wispy, puffy white clouds dotted the blue. Only one dark cloud held even a remote potential for rain, and it was stationed directly over him like something out of a Charlie Brown cartoon.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He’d thrown his things into the back of the truck because the drive was supposed to be clear. Jace hauled the large duffel, his saddle and a few other items over to the passenger door of the cab and tossed them inside.
More drops joined in, catching him on the back of the neck, the shoulders. He briefly considered getting in the truck to wait it out, but rain was so sporadic in Colorado. If he did, it would probably turn out to be nothing.
He returned to the tire and began working the lug nuts loose. One was so tight he gave up on it and switched to another. While he worked, the sun beat down and random raindrops pelted him at the same time.
“How is that even possible?” He directed his question to the sky and earned a wet plunk in his eye. Jace blinked to clear the moisture away. “All right, all right. I’ll stop asking questions.”
Traffic had been cruising along at a pretty steady pace while he worked on the tire, and no one had stopped to offer help, which was fine, but Jace heard the slowing of an engine approaching now.
He kept working on the last stubborn nut. Didn’t look up until he heard a door open and footsteps crunching.
The woman coming at him was a tall drink of water. His tall drink of water. “Kenzie?” He dropped the wrench and popped up from the ground. “What in the world are you doing here?” There was no way she could just be driving past. He’d been headed for Miles City. Last he’d checked, she didn’t have any business heading north.
Which could only mean one thing: she was looking for him. The woman either had good news...or something was horribly wrong.
* * *
Luc had told Mackenzie not to come back until Sunday morning. Which gave her more than enough time to drive to Jace’s rodeo, watch him compete...and tell him she loved him, that she would wait for him—however long it took. And patience was not, by any means,
her strongest attribute.
But she’d figure out how to get good at it, because Jace was worth it. Worth that and more.
The words she’d practiced while gunning toward Montana had fled the moment she’d recognized Jace’s truck on the side of the road. About the same time she’d begun wondering if God was in the business of orchestrating flat—or more like blown—tires.
“You okay?” Jace closed the gap between them, meeting her by the tailgate and then directing her to the other side of the truck, away from traffic. “Is everyone all right?”
“Everyone is fine.” Mackenzie nodded toward his injured truck. “Just thought maybe you needed a girl to come along and change a tire for you. Wasn’t sure you were capable.”
A wedge split his forehead, questioning, while that grin she loved sparked and grew. “Girls can’t change tires.” His familiar voice, soaked with humor, nestled in her gut, warm and right. Jace reached out and squeezed her arm. “I’m not sure why you’re here...but I’m glad you are.”
“I need to know something before I say my piece.” Her heart was pounding so hard, she was certain it was going to skip right out of her rib cage.
“Okay.” He angled his head. “What do you need to know?”
“Do you love me?” Still? Again? She wasn’t sure what to add onto the end of that.
Jace’s jaw loosened, and he rubbed a hand across it. His eyes, full of confusion and hope, held on to hers. And then he nodded. “Yeah. I do.” He didn’t elaborate. And why should he? That was what she’d needed to hear.
“Then I’ll wait.” He stared at her, mouth gaping. Did she need to be more clear? Fine. “I love you. So if you need to be a big idiot and get yourself hurt, then I’ll stand by you while you do it. Because you’re it for me. Loving someone else isn’t an option. I don’t even like other people half the time.”