by J. Gail
“What’s up dawg? I ain’t seen you for a minute,” Tony said, ignoring his question.
“Did you hear me? Don’t park up in my driveway when I’m not here,” Terrance said with his lip curled as Tony came over and gave him a pound.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Tony said, upset that after all this time the only thing Terrance had to say was about his parking spot.
“Nothin’, just don’t do it no more aiight?” Terrance repeated.
“Yea. Whatever.” Tony followed Terrance up the stairs to his front door.
The last person Terrance wanted to see right now was Tony. His life had been so easy going for the past few weeks that he didn’t have to see Tony’s face. Now after a long horrible day of dealing with his overbearing boss and dishonest co-workers, here was another challenge.
“Yo Ran, you ain’t even gonna ask me why you ain’t heard from me for all that time?” Tony said when he had gone in the house and turned on Terrance’s television.
Terrance didn’t answer. He just threw his work bag down on the floor next to his couch and headed for the back.
“Man, that’s fucked up,” Tony said, turning his attention back to the television screen.
“Listen, Big Tone, I just had a fucked up day at work. I’m gonna jump in the shower. You can go ahead and get something out the fridge,” Terrance said with his back to Tony as he walked down the hall to his bedroom.
Tony took him up on the offer and went into the kitchen to grab a soda. When he came back he leaned way back on the sofa and became interested in an episode of Law & Order.
He couldn’t help but start to get angry at Terrance for not receiving him with open, friendly arms. He had been in the hospital for over a week recuperating and Terrance didn’t even care.
“Some kind of friend this nigga is. He wasn’t even worried ‘bout my ass,” Tony mumbled under his breath. He took a swig from his soda and thought about how nice it would be to smoke some trees.
“This nigga always talkin’ that goody goody crap… and can’t even be no friend when I need ‘im,” he complained. “Fuck that nigga.”
Tony heard the shower running in the back and his eyes fell upon Terrance’s work bag. He wondered if Terrance kept any cash in there. He could surely use just $20 right about now. He hadn’t had a decent meal in days. Naw, he thought. He shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the television.
Terrance had some nerve to get an attitude over a parking spot. He was supposed to be Tony’s friend, and hadn’t even tried to get in touch with anybody to find out what had happened over the past couple of weeks. Tony could have been dead for all Terrance knew. Tony was really starting to feel some kind of way about that. And then Terrance didn’t even bother to say what’s up to his boy after all that time? That was really messed up.
All of these thoughts swirled around Tony’s mind and before he even knew what he was doing, he was leaning over and grabbing Terrance’s bag. Terrance had money, he reasoned, he wouldn’t miss a $20 bill. He searched through the front pocket, then the middle pocket, relying on the sound of the shower running to tell him that Terrance was occupied.
But Terrance wasn’t occupied. He was standing at the foot of the hallway watching Tony search through his bag.
Terrance stood there in a state of shock, as he watched Tony, his so-called friend, reach into one of his compartments and pull out his wallet. His eyelids dimmed with anger as he waited and then saw Tony pull two twenties out. He couldn’t believe what his eyes were showing him as Tony put Terrance’s wallet back in the bag, placed the bag back down in the same position as before and then stuffed the money in his pocket. Terrance opened up his mouth to yell, but no words came out. He decided against going on a rant right now; instead he backed up into the hallway. He was going to take this opportunity to see Tony’s true colors so that he could get him out of his life for good.
Back on the couch, Tony leaned his body into the soft cushions and was satisfied with the fact that he had a little cash in his pocket again. He hadn’t had money ever since Lil Joe took his last $10 for the stolen credit card. Now all he had to do was make a smooth exit from Terrance’s house. What did he need to stay around there for? Terrance didn’t even care if he was alive or dead. He heard the shower stop running and was bothered that he hadn’t taken the chance to just call out the fact that he was leaving to Terrance while he was still in the bathroom. Terrance came out of the bathroom leaving a trail of the scent of Irish Spring soap behind him.
“So what’s been up Tone?” Terrance said as he came right over and plopped himself down on the loveseat closest to his bag. He reached down and pretended as if he was going through it for some work papers. He was actually boiling with anger inside.
“Not much. Actually I’m ‘bout to roll, I see you got a lot of things to do,” Tony said, leaning forward as if he wanted to get up.
Terrance finally pulled out his wallet and started flipping through it. “Yo, you need any cash, or you straight?”
Tony immediately became uneasy at Terrance’s question. He never asked Tony if he needed any money. “Naw dawg, I’m straight. Thanks for asking though.”
“Hold up…” Terrance pretended to be shocked. “I had $100 in here? I’m missing 40 bucks.”
Tony looked at Terrance curiously and then got up to leave. “Man, I don’t know nothin’ about that. Look, like I said, I gotta be out.”
Tony offered his hand to Terrance, feeling guilty as sin, as Terrance eyed him closely and gave him a pound. Somehow Tony knew Terrance knew that he had taken the money. He turned around to leave before anything else could be said.
“You sure you don’t know what happened to my money,” Terrance asked, getting more bold with his questions. He stood up just as Tony turned back around to look at him, now with a look of indignation on his face. Terrance wanted so badly to rush at Tony and knock his ass out on the spot.
“What, you tryin’ to say I took it?”
“I’m asking did you see it nigga, that’s all,” Terrance said, raising his voice. He cocked his head to the side and looked at Tony as if he dared him to say something smart.
“Well I didn’t! You acting like a straight bitch right about now. Didn’t even care if a nigga was dead, now you accusing motherfuckers of stealin’. Fuck you Ran,” Tony raged on and then hustled out of Terrance’s front door without another look or word.
Terrance stood in the same spot looking behind his asinine friend as he left. 15 years he had known Tony. He couldn’t believe Tony would ever steal money from him, not in a million years. Terrance had always been there for Tony in the hardest of times. He now knew that Tony was no friend. Terrance had wanted so badly to break Tony’s jaw, but he was smarter than that. It was better that he just did exactly what Sonny from the movie The Bronx Tale said; he was going to look at it as if he had gotten rid of Tony for $40, a small price to pay. Terrance was done trying to talk sense into his so-called friend – as far as he was concerned, Tony was no longer able to be saved.
Chapter 18
Scoop sat in his car staring out of the front window. He had been sitting still like that for close to an hour. He thought about where was the closest bridge he could drive off of. He thought about Shaquita’s gun. He thought about all the pills in his mother’s cabinet. But most of all, he thought about what the doctor had just told him. It hadn’t fully sunken in yet.
His eyes were red and swollen into his head, and he hadn’t even been crying. He couldn’t even look at himself in the rearview mirror, because it would make the reality all too… real.
How could this happen to him? Things like this just didn’t happen to guys like him. What was Shaquita going to say when he told her. Was he even going to tell her?
Tony would probably never so much as look in his direction when he found out. Tony was probably the last person on earth he would want to know about this. And his mother – his mother would be devastated.
The doctor had to be
wrong. He had to retake that test. There was no way what he said could be true. He kept replaying the doctor’s words in his head over and over.
“I’m sorry Mr. Boston, but the HIV test came back positive.”
They were the last words Scoop heard said, even though the doctor kept talking for a good ten minutes afterwards. Everything else got lost in a blur.
He started to remember all of the warnings he had gotten from television commercials, public awareness campaigns, billboards and radio ads telling him to wear a condom everytime. They sounded so corny to him at the time. And despite his fears of catching the disease all he would say to himself was, I can’t feel anything with a condom on. They warned that HIV was a real risk, especially to promiscous people like himself, but it never seemed real to him until now. He had figured up until now that he would just go unscathed by his frequent unprotected sex by screening his women – making sure they weren’t on drugs, making sure they were clean and that they didn’t act or look like skanks. Little did he know that he had been playing Russian Roulet with his life. And his head had just gotten blown off.
Keisha. Shaquira. Telia. Mabel from the Northeast. He wondered which of the women had given it to him. Which one of those trifling bitches had given him HIV!
Or could it have been that other thing… But he had worn a condom that time. It couldn’t have been then. He shook the thought from his mind as quickly as it came.
Didn’t they have a cure for this thing by now? he started to wonder as his mood shifted from shock to anger. Didn’t they have a way to stop it? It just didn’t make any sense. How could someone like him get it? How long had he had it? He had wondered why he had been getting those strange scabs all over his private area.
He was going to die? Well he might as well just get it over with then. He wanted to go drive off an embankment, or jump into the Schuylkill River, or slice his wrists. What did he have to live for anymore? He had tried to live a decent life, working for a living instead of being a bum like most of his homeboys, and here he was, ending up with a life threatening disease. It just wasn’t fair.
The fury consumed Scoop as he started up his truck. He sat for a few more seconds letting his future crumple and die right before his eyes. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t – he was too mad. It was him against the world now. He had gotten a raw deal. There was nothing that could be done for him at that point, he was going to die. And absolutely nothing even mattered anymore.
Chapter 19
“Come on sis, you gotta have some money on you. Stop trynna play me,” Tony pleaded.
“Tony, you know even if I did have some cash I wouldn’t give it to your ass. You already owe me $200. I ain’t giving you a dime,” Tony’s older sister Johnetta confirmed.
Johnetta was Tony’s half sister on his father’s side. He only called her when he was in dire straights. And there had never been a time in his life when the need for cash was so dire.
He had asked his grandmother for money. She told him that she didn’t have any money and wouldn’t have money to spare anytime soon due to the fact that she had to make up for the part of her emergency medical bills that wasn’t covered by her insurance and medicare. Tony didn’t know why she didn’t just let that bill ride.
Quanisha wasn’t talking to him. Even though she was furious with him for causing her to lose her job, he still had the nerve to call her up and see if she had any extra cash stashed away. She had just hung up the phone in his face.
Scoop told him he didn’t have any money. Terrance was out of the question. He had spent up the money he stole from Terrance that same night on food, liquor, and weed, and Terrance probably wouldn’t even want to talk. His other boys Rob and Belly didn’t have two nickels to rub together at any given time unless they needed to eat, and then money magically appeared. So he had to go to his last resort – his half-sister Johnetta.
Before Tony even had a chance to say something about how he was getting a job that next day, which would have been a lie, he heard the phone click and then a dial tone on the other end of the phone. He hung up the phone and laid back on his bed. He was staying at his grandmother’s house until further notice. It was like he just couldn’t get any money to save his life. He was starting to regret taking that money from Terrance. Maybe he was being punished for stealing from one of the best friends he had ever had in his life. Terrance had had his back in 5th grade when the Too Fresh crew jumped him in the schoolyard. He had made sure Tony didn’t choke on his own throw up numerous drunken nights in the past when everybody else had left him. Terrance was there for Tony when Tony’s real mother died from a heroin overdose. He had bailed Tony out of some of the worst situations. When his mind’s eye flashed back to the look of disappointment and anger on Terrance’s face that night he had no doubt in his mind that he was wrong. These feelings of regret were new to him. He had no idea why all of a sudden he was starting to hold himself accountable for the things he had done wrong.
He shivered at the thought of calling Jenny the Psycho. He had almost been wooed to that point when he saw an ad for a succulent Arby’s roast beef sandwich on his grandmother’s living room television, but resisted. He didn’t want Jenny having any reason for thinking that he was still interested. She had visited his grandmother’s house on several occasions uninvited, and he was even afraid that she was stalking the house.
“Tony!” Tony’s grandmother yelled from upstairs.
“What Ma?” he hollered back. She didn’t answer, so Tony reluctantly got up from his bed and headed upstairs. When he got to his grandmother’s room he first saw her TV on in the corner. Then he saw her standing at the window looking outside.
“That girl outside again,” she said shakily.
“No she ain’t,” he answered as he went over to where she was standing to look over her shoulder. Lo and behold, right outside was Jenny getting out of her white Jetta, looking around apprehensively as she headed for his grandmother’s front door. She looked like a crackhead as she glanced from side to side, slighlty cowered over.
“What is wrong with that child Tony?” his grandmother asked him seriously as she turned back to look in his eyes.
Tony didn’t know what to say, because he honestly didn’t know. Jenny had been rejected openly and rudely the last couple of times she showed up by his grandmother, and now here she was again. She didn’t get the message. The last time Tony had seen or spoken to Jenny was when she was in her basement looking for something to tie Tony up with. She had gotten locked in her basement, and here she was, still pursuing him romantically. The girl seriously needed help at a mental institution.
“Do you need me to bust her ass?” Tony’s grandmother asked out of the blue. “Because you know I will.”
Tony started laughing at his grandmother, but she didn’t laugh with him. She was serious. She was about tired of this foolish girl showing up to her house. She felt stupid for allowing Jenny to drop her off from the hospital that day. If Tony wasn’t going to handle her now, it was time for Mrs. Jackson to break out the Vaseline.
Ding Dong.
Tony looked out of the window at nothing in particular as he explored new ways of telling Jenny that she was not wanted. Nothing worked. He had insulted her, told her the truth about why he had messed with her in the first place, and even threatened her with physical violence. Now he was thinking that maybe he should do more than just threaten her.
He and his grandmother stood by the window and tried to wait Jenny out. They hoped that maybe she would just leave. It was starting to get dark outside, and people in this neighborhood were so nosy. They waited for close to ten minutes and still Jenny continued pressing the doorbell every few seconds.
“I know someone’s in there!” she suddenly called out as she looked up at his grandmother’s window. They both ducked back to avoid her gaze. This was starting to become ridiculous.
When Jenny rang the doorbell again, this time obnoxiously long, Tony decided that for once in his life he had to
be a man about the situation. He had to go down and confront this crazy bitch.
When he got to the door, he snatched it open and went outside almost in the same motion. He didn’t want Jenny to get an opportunity to get inside the house. He stood with his back to the door.
“What the hell do you want??!!” he shouted with every fiber of his vocal muscles.
Jenny looked at him with eyes that said ‘danger.’ She was in a rare state that was accentuated by the fact that she had just snorted four lines of coke. It was a nasty habit that she had just recently taken back up after Tony left her.
“Did you hear me? What do you want?” Tony asked again.
“I want you,” she said simply. She had wanted to say those words for the longest time. She hadn’t laid an eye on Tony ever since she had hit him in the back of his head with her candy dish.
Tony opened his mouth to curse her out, but found himself at a loss of words. Everything that swirled in his mind to say had already come out of his mouth before. This girl was relentless. There wasn’t a word or phrase that could turn her off of him.
“I want you to come with me, so that we can have some fun,” she said with a smile that made Tony’s stomach stir.
“Jenny, what is your problem? What the hell do you want from me? Why don’t you go bother somebody else?” Tony said, almost in a pleading tone.
“I just told you.”
“I don’t want to go with you Jenny.” Tony looked at Jenny intently and tried to get his point across to her. This was useless.
Then, just as if Jenny was reading into his innermost desires, she said the one thing that would sway him at that moment. “I’ll take you down to the Outback Steakhouse, and I’ll buy you a steak. You can drink all you want. I just want to talk for a little while.”