Lincoln shrugged, smiling as he clambered out of Joseph’s arms and came to hug me. “We’re not ganging up on you, Mommy. It’s dinosaur stuff, boy stuff.”
“Ah, I see.” I rolled my eyes, patting his head as I bent down to check on how the quiche was doing. “We have about twenty minutes before that will be ready to come out. You guys want to eat at the big table this morning?”
“Yes, let’s.” Joseph started getting out plates and carried them to the table while I filled a pitcher with juice. Lincoln helped us to set the table and once the quiche was ready, we sat down to breakfast while all still wearing our pajamas.
A smile lifted the corners of my lips as I took a moment just to take it in, this feeling like we were a real family. A happy one at that.
“What are we going to do today?” Lincoln asked. “Joseph said we’re not going to the office.”
I looked at Joseph, who suddenly got a gleam in his eye. I groaned and let whatever was about to happen happen.
“What do you want to do?” he asked Lincoln. “Anything at all, we’ll do it.”
“Anything?” Lincoln was so surprised that he dropped his fork. It clattered when it hit his plate, but luckily, nothing broke. “You mean it?”
“I mean it.” Joseph crossed his arms and sat back against his chair, a satisfied smirk on his lips. “We’ll call today Lincoln day, and whatever you want goes.”
Blue eyes becoming bigger than I’d ever seen them, Lincoln’s face split into a massive grin. And that was how we ended up at the zoo.
“It smells funny,” Lincoln commented as we walked in, making a line with him in the middle and holding both his hands. “What smells like that?”
“Animals,” I said.
At the same time, Joseph laughed. “Children who didn’t want to take a bath this morning.”
“I took a bath,” Lincoln protested.
Joseph’s eyes glittered as he arched a dark eyebrow at Lincoln. “Only after I bribed you with ice cream later.”
“Yeah.” Lincoln smiled and batted his eyelashes innocently. “But now we’re getting ice cream later.”
“You totally got played,” I told Joseph. Since I’d made our breakfast and Joseph was very well aware of how completely in love I was with his tub, he’d told me to go relax in it for a while and he’d get Lincoln ready. “A three-year-old out-negotiated you.”
Joseph shrugged, his shoulders shaking with barely suppressed laughter. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure this little guy negotiates better than half the people I have on staff. Plus, you heard him. We’re all getting ice cream later so the way I see it, it’s a win-win.”
“True.” I lifted the map we’d been given at the entrance and halted my steps, pointing in the direction the mammals were supposed to be. “You wanted to see the monkeys first. They’re that way.”
Lincoln let out a small squeak. “I can’t wait to see them.”
Surprisingly, even Joseph seemed excited. To be fair, though, Lincoln’s excitement was kind of infectious. We were all laughing and smiling, practically freaking giddy to be here.
Our day at the zoo was really fun. The weather was perfect, the sun shining brightly in a clear blue sky. Joseph bought us matching hats with the zoo’s logo on them, and even though he’d also already paid for our tickets, I was having such a good time that I didn’t even complain or insist on paying our own way.
Joseph kissed me every chance he got, paid a ton of attention to Lincoln and generally made sure we both had what we wanted at all times. My heart swelled, filled with such intense emotions for this incredible man. I just wondered when I’d finally put a name to them, never mind voice them to him.
When we were done at the zoo, Joseph glanced at me as we exited through the giant red gates. “What’s it going to be for dinner?”
Then he flicked his gaze over to Lincoln’s. “Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about the ice cream. We’ll go grab some for dessert.”
I pursed my lips, trying to think of a place both boys would like. “How about that sushi place near the marina? That’s always good.”
“I like fish,” Lincoln informed Joseph as we headed down the sidewalk. “But not the pretty fish in the tanks.”
“Sushi isn’t made of those fish, baby. Don’t worry.” Joseph and I shared a look over Lincoln’s head.
He grinned at me, shaking his head. “Yeah, bud. Don’t worry about it, just don’t order anything with salmon.”
I rolled my eyes at him and mouthed “Thank you very much.” He just winked and kept on talking to Lincoln about fish.
As we walked, he slung one arm around my shoulder and held Lincoln’s hand with his free one. My head rested against his shoulder; my arm wrapped around his waist.
It was the happiest I could remember feeling in the longest time, so naturally that meant something had to come up. We were just about to walk into the restaurant when I saw him.
I nudged Joseph, sending a pointed look in Kurt’s direction. He put two and two together immediately, wrapping his arm around me tighter and gently guiding Lincoln closer to his side.
He glared at Kurt as we passed him, scowling in that way that sent people at the office running away from him at full speed. Kurt flinched, but narrowed his eyes at me. With Joseph by my side, he didn’t elicit nearly as much fear in me as he had the last time I’d seen him.
In fact, it was all too easy to ignore the ex-hole. Resting my head back against Joseph’s shoulder, I let my gaze drift away from Kurt and squeezed Joseph’s waist, whispering as we walked. “Ignore him. Let’s go eat.”
Chapter 31
Joseph
When I woke up, my muscles felt distinctly itchy. It was the same feeling I used to get when I didn’t work out often enough, and it had been days since I’d last exercised. Having an instant family will do that to do a guy, I guess.
Lying in my bed next to Lilac, I was so comfortable that I didn’t really want to get up. The sun was only just starting to rise, the light coming in through the window still soft and gray. I snuggled into her back and hugged her tighter to my chest.
A quiet, contented sound came from the back of her throat, but she hadn’t woken up. She pressed back into me, nuzzling her head into the pillow. I lay with her for a few more minutes, willing the itch in my muscles away.
It didn’t work.
There was one other way I could get some exercise in this morning, and with her body pressed as close to mine as it was, it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge to adjust our underwear and slide into her, but she looked so peaceful while she slept that I didn’t want to disturb her.
Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I was just going to have to suck it up and leave the bed. Carefully extricating my arm out from underneath her and maneuvering my leg free from between both of hers, I slid away from her and sat on the edge of the bed to put on my prosthetic.
Once it was in place, I dressed quietly in my workout gear and headed to the kitchen. After brewing some fresh coffee, I left a note for her under the machine and headed to the gym.
There were only a few other people around at this hour, all of them with their earbuds in and doing their own thing. Rows of lockers lined the wall in the men’s room. I chose one near the door, stowed my wallet, keys and cellphone inside and headed back out onto the floor.
After working out for an hour, the itch had been sated and I was feeling good. Sweat dripped down my back and dotted my brow. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror walking into the men’s room and decided to grab a quick shower before heading back to the condo.
I could have waited to shower, but I didn’t want to come home to Lilac as a ball of sweat. Once I’d rinsed off, dressed again and went to get my stuff from the locker, I saw she had sent me a text a few minutes ago.
Lilac: Bring breakfast?
I grinned, lifting my phone to tap out a response.
Me: Yeah, I can do that. See you in a few.
She replied
with a string of smiling emojis and a single red heart at the end. The previously-thought-to-be-useless organ in my chest flipped before righting itself again. This kind of thing didn’t happen to me; my heart didn’t go crazy over a simple request for food or about the sight of a stupid emoji that was probably used at least two million times a day.
Yet, when it came to Lilac, I didn’t even find it strange anymore when stuff like that did happen to me. It was happening so often now that I didn’t even question it anymore, I just went with it.
Still grinning when I pocketed my phone, I went out to grab bagels from a bakery down the street. It smelled heavenly and was packed with an early morning crowd. I was tempted to get some of the sweet-smelling coffee too, but then I remembered how Lilac felt about the coffee that we had at home.
Home. I never imagined I’d be thinking about the condo in those terms in reference to someone else calling it that, but I had to admit that I liked it.
After standing in line, I finally got our breakfast and headed back. The elevator doors slid behind me, locking me into the box before it started its ascent. There were about a million of me bouncing back off the reflective surfaces of the mirrors mounted on three sides of it.
One of the things I loved most about the building was how modern all the facilities were, but riding up to the condo it struck me that a kid shouldn’t live on the top floor of some building. Kids needed a yard, didn’t they?
That was when it hit me. If this was a thing, like a permanent thing between me and Lilac, maybe I needed to find a bigger place. Lincoln didn’t even have a room here. I could clear out my home office for him, but it had been coming in pretty handy to have a place set up at home where we could work.
My heart skipped a beat in my chest, then tried to make up for it by hammering so hard I felt it throwing itself against my ribs. Am I seriously considering this?
I swallowed past a sudden dry spot in my throat. I am. I really am.
Living with Lilac wasn’t something that would have crossed my mind as being within the realm of possibility when I met her, but here we were. We were already living together, and though we hadn’t specifically discussed it, it didn’t feel like a temporary thing anymore.
We were dating for real; she was sleeping in my bed and none of it was for show. It was definitely something to talk to Lilac about. I could be jumping the gun. She might even have been looking forward to going back to her apartment, but I really hoped she wasn’t.
Anticipation slivered through me and sent a shiver down my spine. If she agreed to this, I’d be looking for a family home before the end of the day. This is fucking insane.
I shoved the hand not carrying the bagels through my hair as I exited the elevator and walked to my door. Thinking about buying another house so I could move my girlfriend and her son in with me for good was fucking insane, but I couldn’t stop the grin that had spread on my lips as soon as the thought had struck.
After pausing to take a deep breath and arrange my face into what I hoped was a more normal expression, I opened the door. Lilac and Lincoln could be heard in the kitchen, their laughter bringing the damn grin back and making it even wider.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out as I closed the door behind me. “I got bagels. Hope you guys are hungry.”
“Starving,” Lilac replied, stepping into view around the counter. Her smile was beaming, her eyes sparkling like an infinity pool in the tropics on a beautiful day. Joy radiated from her and slammed into me, warming my chest and making my heart do a fucking gymnastics routine again. “Have a good workout?”
“Yeah.” I set the bag containing the bagels down on the counter and walked straight to her. Opening my arms, I enveloped her in a massive hug. “You look gorgeous.”
She snorted against my chest, bringing her arms up to circle my waist. “You must have blown a fuse in your brain while you were at the gym.”
“Nope, everything is functioning perfectly in here.” Grinning as I stepped away, I winked at her. “I like flannel.”
“You’re certifiable.” She laughed, shaking her head before picking up the bag and peeking inside. Her lids closed as she took a deep breath of freshly baked goodness. “But you did deliver breakfast, so you still get points for that.”
“Can I have cream cheese on mine?” Lincoln asked as Lilac took out a stack of three plates and handed them out. Seeing how comfortable she was in the condo reminded me of the discussion I wanted to have with her. Later.
“There’s smoked salmon. Wouldn’t you rather have that?” The look Lincoln gave me after my suggestion was nothing short of disgusted.
“No fish on bagels.” He scrunched up his little nose. “Do you eat fish on bagels?”
I nodded and moved around Lilac to get to said fish. “It’s really good. You should try it.”
He sighed, a look of faraway consideration in his eyes before he shrugged. “I guess I can try it.”
“Don’t go getting used to smoked salmon for breakfast now.” Lilac’s warning didn’t sound like it was serious, especially since her eyes were crinkled with a smile, but it made me want to blurt it out right there and then.
Busying myself with fixing my bagel so I wouldn’t launch into a discussion right there about buying a house so we could all live together permanently, I managed to bite the question back.
“You can have cream cheese,” Lilac said to Lincoln, holding his plate at her side before handing it over. “But then you have to promise me you’ll finish all your fruit later when it’s snack time.”
“Fruit isn’t a snack, Mommy.” Lincoln’s eyes were rooted on the bagel, following it with each move Lilac made.
“Do I really need to remind you about how you’ll grow big and strong?” I arched an eyebrow as I looked at the little boy.
He finally tore his gaze away from the bagel for long enough to slide it over to mine before dropping it to the counter. “No.”
“Good.” Lilac smiled, setting his plate down in front of him. “There’s another one in there for you if you want it.”
“Thank you,” he mumbled as he picked up his bagel.
Lincoln was silent for the rest of breakfast. Lilac took a seat on the stool beside mine, reaching out to squeeze my thigh beneath the table. “Thanks for bringing breakfast. We’re all out of eggs and a whole bunch of other stuff. I’ll go stock us up later.”
I swallowed my bite with a shake of my head. “I’ll put in an order if you’ll give me a shopping list.”
“Call me crazy, but I preferring walking down the aisles myself.”
“You’re crazy.” I reached for a bottle of juice on the table and topped off all three of our glasses, emptying the thing before taking a sip of mine. “How about a compromise? This month, you let me order it in and next month, you can go out to get it.”
Lilac rolled her eyes, her lips pursed. “Could we save the compromises for the big stuff?”
Taking a second to consider her suggestion, I shrugged. “Sure. In that case, I’ll order the groceries after breakfast.”
Her eyes widened before she started laughing. “Not if I finish before you and go out to get it.”
“You still have to shower,” I pointed out.
“I can do it later.” She wolfed down the rest of her bagel and set Lincoln up with his cartoons when we were all done. “Mommy will be back later, okay, baby?”
Before she could make a run for the bedroom to get clothes on so she could head out to the store, I scooped her up and carried her to my room. She slept here now, and I wanted her to be here, but her clothes were still in the guest room.
Lilac squealed and wiggled in my arms, laughing as she pushed her palms against my chest. “Let me go, you caveman. It’s not a win if you cheat.”
“I’m not cheating.” I kept hold of her until we were in my room, then I dropped her on the bed and crawled up next to her. I considered just telling her what was going to happen, seeing as it had worked for the gala.
Bu
t this decision was much bigger than just spending one Saturday evening with her boss. She deserved a choice, so I was going to have to ask her and just hope for the best. If she didn’t give me the answer I wanted, I guessed I could always ask again tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that…
“Should I be looking for a bigger condo? Or maybe a house? So Lincoln has his own space and maybe a yard to play in and stuff?”
I wasn’t a big fan of how shocked she looked. Maybe she hadn’t been thinking about this at all? Fuck.
I leaned down to kiss her forehead, drawing back to look into her eyes. “Just think about it, okay? I am.”
There. The ball was in her court now. Just please let her catch it.
Chapter 32
Lilac
I woke with a start, disorientated for a moment about where I was. Joseph’s soft snores in my ear and his arm around my waist reminded me in almost the same instant. Relaxing again, I smiled into the darkness.
A quick glance at the clock told me it was really early. Three-thirty in the damn morning early. The clock itself felt like it was taunting me, laughing at me.
I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn’t. I had no idea what had woken me up, but sleep seemed to have abandoned me for the night and I wasn’t very hopeful that it would come back around.
So, I lay there, listening to Joseph sleep and thinking about what he had asked me. On this very bed. In this very room. A room he wanted us to move out of to get a different one; one that would belong to both of us from here on out.
Things had been tense after he’d mentioned moving. I hadn’t even been thinking about it. Honestly, the thought had never crossed my mind.
The bed I’d ordered for Lincoln was coming soon, even though we didn’t really need it anymore now that I was sleeping in Joseph’s. For him to be thinking of Lincoln needing his own room? That was talk of the future. A future in which he apparently envisioned us with him.
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