by M. A. Foster
He moves his mouth to mine and I turn my head. “I want you to answer my question.”
“I thought I did. I have one girlfriend. Her name is Jade. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and I love her with all my heart. Now kiss me.” He presses his lips to mine.
I scoff against them.
“Kiss me, dammit,” he growls.
Defeated and deflated, I part my lips, allowing his tongue to seek out mine. And for the rest of the night, Josh shows me just how much he loves me.
It made me sad, because while he believed we were making up, I was saying goodbye.
And this morning when he kissed me goodbye, he was convinced that all was right with us.
But it wasn’t.
It isn’t.
It’s over.
I spend the early part of the day cleaning the loft, doing laundry, packing some of my things, and loading them into my trunk to drop off at Mia’s tonight after my shift. I’ve accumulated a lot over the past few months, so it’ll take a few trips before I’m completely moved out.
PARKING IN THE designated spot for Mac’s employees, I grab my purse from the passenger seat, then reach for the door handle. But it swings open on its own.
“Josh,” I yelp, slapping a hand over my racing heart. “You scared me. What are you doing here? Did you follow me?”
“What are you doing here, Jade?” he asks calmly as he helps me out of the car and then slams my door shut. “Is this where you go for your ‘study group’?”
I take a deep breath and lean back against my car. “I work at Mac’s,” I admit.
“Why do you work at Mac’s?” he asks patiently. “I give you plenty of money.” He leans forward, placing his hands on the roof of my car at either side of my head, caging me in.
I jerk my head back. “You don’t give me money, Josh. You pay for things. And I like making my own money.”
The screeching of tires against pavement draws my attention to the black Tahoe pulling into a parking space a few spots down. A moment later, Cole climbs out of the driver side, followed by Justin, Carter, and Derek.
Shit.
My stomach flips and my heart slams against my chest, because any second now my entire world built on lies is going to implode.
“Do you know those guys?” Josh asks, looking over his shoulder just as Cole turns his head and catches sight of the two of us at my car. He raises his brows, a stunned expression on his face. I look away, hoping none of them says a word to me as they pass.
“They go to my school,” I tell him truthfully.
Josh leans into my ear, his entire body nearly covering mine. “You mean that private school just down the street?”
Sucking in a sharp breath, I drop my head to his shoulder.
He knows.
I hear their footsteps as they pass and someone lets out a whistle. I don’t even need to look to know who it is.
“Go, Harper.” Of course Derek the dickhead doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.
“Dude, shut the hell up,” one of them says.
“What’s up?” I hear Cole say before the sound of their footsteps fade and it’s just me and Josh again.
“Harper?”
I lift my head. “I’m sorry, Josh,” I cry.
He uses his thumbs to wipe my tears away. He looks sad, and I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. “I know, babe. Me, too. You’ll explain later?” he asks, hopeful.
I nod. “I will.”
He kisses me on the lips. “What time do you get off?”
“Nine.”
He nods. “Okay. I’ll be at the loft waiting for you.” He kisses me again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I reply.
And I mean it.
I do love him.
I’m just not in love with him anymore.
“YOUR BOYFRIEND LOOKS awfully mature for his age,” Cole attempts to joke as I shove my purse inside my locker in the break room. I look over to see him standing in the doorway with his arms stretched over his head, gripping the doorframe. His T-shirt is slightly raised, showing off a sliver of his toned and tanned stomach. “Are you okay?” His expression goes from teasing to concerned.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, swiping below my eyes to hide the fact that I’d been crying. “Thanks for asking.”
Cole steps inside the break room, shutting the door behind him, and makes his way over to me. He cups my face, tilting it back so we’re staring into each other’s eyes, green to green, and I gasp as he gently swipes his thumbs under my eyes. “I think you’re good now,” he says, then leans forward, and I freeze. Is he gonna kiss me? Instead, he aims higher, pressing a kiss to my forehead. What the hell?
“Why?”
He’s still cupping my face as he moves back to look down at me. “Why what?”
“Why are you being so nice to me? Are you bored with your little cheerleader girlfriend?” I taunt, pulling away from him. “What would she think about you slumming it with the nerdy redhead?” I mock gasp.
Cole releases me, wearing a scowl. “Wow.” He takes a giant step backward. “You have a pretty low opinion of me.” Turning, he grabs the handle and swings the door open, slamming it into the opposite wall before he storms out, calling me a bitch.
I move to the doorway. “And you don’t know shit about me,” I hiss at his retreating back as he storms down the hall, to which he responds by flipping me off.
Great, Harper. Way to play nice.
He’s right. I’m a bitch.
I’M SICK OF people judging me because of what they hear or assume they know about me. I usually don’t care what people think of me.
Except my family.
Only my family knows the real me.
Well, except Jay.
But I don’t like that Harper thinks the worst of me. She doesn’t know shit about me or my life.
I should’ve known she had a boyfriend. A girl like Harper is too beautiful to be single. That guy had to be in his late twenties. What’s he thinking, dating a teenager? Dumb question. I know what he’s thinking.
Fucking creep.
Yeah, I’m jealous. Which pisses me off even more. I don’t get jealous, and I don’t chase after girls. I don’t have time. I should just stick it out with Ashton for the rest of the year. She’s a pain in my ass, but at least I know what to expect with her.
But I don’t want Ashton.
I want Harper.
I want to wrap my hands in that beautiful red hair, kiss those full lips while I bury myself deep inside her.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I find Harper leaning against the opposite wall, her arms crossed over her chest. “Hey,” she says.
“What’s up?” I lift a brow.
“I’ve never had anyone call me a bitch before.” She smirks.
“My bad. I shouldn’t have said that. My dad would kick my ass if he’d heard me.”
“You’re right, though. I was being a bitch. I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot going on, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, especially when you were just being nice.”
“Boyfriend troubles?” I ask, unable to mask the tinge of hope in my voice.
She nods and blows out a breath. “Among other things.” She shrugs. “Look, I’m not used to opening up to people. I keep to myself and I like it that way. I’m definitely not like those girls you hang out with.”
I chuckle. “What does that mean?” I shouldn’t have gotten so angry with her. She’s only basing her opinions on what she sees. I’ll have to remember that from now on.
“Clearly I don’t have many friends.” She smiles as she unfolds her arms and straightens from the wall. “Well, I didn’t until this beautiful, sassy girl came into my life and gave me no choice but to be her friend.” She rolls her eyes playfully.
“Jay has that effect on people.” I smile and take a step closer. “She’s had Zach wrapped around her finger since he was six.”
“Yeah, he seems miserable,” sh
e says sarcastically, then extends her hand to me. “Friends?”
“Friends.” I take her hand in mine. “For now,” I add, gently tugging, bringing her closer before leaning in to kiss her cheek. Then I turn and walk away. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Harper staring off in the distance, lightly brushing her fingers over her cheek. Then she hurries off in the other direction.
Oh yeah. I’ve got her.
I give it a month, tops.
The boyfriend will be long gone, and Harper will be mine.
Damn the consequences.
I DON’T LIKE the way Derek is staring at Harper. A chuckle escapes him as she makes her way over to our table. “Oh, this is gonna to be fun.”
I want to ask him what he means by that, but she’s already at our table.
“Hey, Harper,” Derek drawls. “I didn’t know you work here.”
“I didn’t know you were keeping tabs on me.” She bats her eyelashes.
“Don’t flatter yourself, girl.” He barks out a harsh laugh. “I don’t double dip.”
Harper winces, and I shove back from the table so hard my chair tips over. Grabbing Derek by the collar, I growl, “Don’t you ever talk to her like that again.”
“Dude, it was joke.” He lets out an uneasy chuckle.
I don’t find it funny. “Apologize to her.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very,” Dylan says from behind me before tapping me on the shoulder and gesturing for me to let go and sit down. “Apologize now, Derek,” Dylan continues, “or I’ll ban you from coming in here for good. After I call Beverly and tell her how you disrespected one of my female staff.”
Beverly is Derek’s grandma and a close friend of Mimi’s. She’s sweet, but when one of her boys steps out of line, Miss Beverly switches from an old-fashioned Southern lady to Madea faster than you can say, “Hell-er.”
Derek’s eyes go wide with fear. “Jesus, it was a joke.” He looks over at Harper. “I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” she says softly, her cheeks flushed, before she turns and hurries off toward the bathroom.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I say to Derek.
He shakes his head. “Dude, I was just messing with her because I know she hates me.”
“I wonder why,” Carter deadpans.
“You’re an asshole.” Justin snorts.
“What happened?” Ashton asks from behind me.
I say, “Nothing” at the same time as Derek replies with “Cole’s got his panties in a twist over Harper.” He winces as he stands from the table, knowing what’s coming next.
“What!” Ashton screeches.
I open my mouth to tell her to calm the eff down, but Carter beats me to it. “Ashton, shut up.”
“I was being a dick,” Derek explains as he stands from the table. “I’m gonna go apologize, again.”
Nice save, Derek. Maybe I’ll reconsider knocking your teeth out.
JOSH IS SITTING on the edge of the sofa, his elbows propped on his thighs and his head in his hands.
“Hey,” I say softly as I drop my purse on the sofa table and move farther into the living room.
He raises his head, his eyes meeting mine, and for the first time since we’ve been together, I see an anger like no other reflected in them. Josh has always been gentle and sweet with me, but right now neither of those traits is present. What changed since he left me in the parking garage at Mac’s?
“Sit down, Jade. Or Harper. Whatever the fuck your name is.”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” I snap defensively.
In a flash, he leaps over the coffee table and is in my face, shoving his hands in my hair. “Don’t fucking tell me what to do,” he growls, barely containing his anger, tightening his grip in my hair. I cry out in pain. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. First, I find out you’re a liar, and then I come home to find half your shit gone and the rest packed up. I think it’s time to hash this out, don’t you? Now sit the fuck down.” Releasing my hair, he pushes me toward the living room and I drop into the nearest chair.
Perched on the coffee table facing me, he reaches under the chair and jerks it forward so we’re almost nose to nose.
“Let’s start with an easy question. Do you think you can handle that?” I nod. “What’s your name?”
“Harper,” I whisper. He gestures for me to keep going. “Harper Murphy.”
“Who’s Jade?”
“My sister.”
“Why were you pretending to be your sister?”
“I wasn’t pretending to be her. I used her ID to get the job at JC’s.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not old enough.”
Josh leans back. “How old are you?”
“Seventeen.”
Josh jerks to his feet and shoves his hands in his hair. “Seventeen?” He drops his head back and pinches the bridge of his nose, mumbling a curse. “Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get into for touching you, for employing you?” he shouts. “I could lose my club or worse, I could go to jail.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What does Jade think about her little sister, the liar, pretending to be her?”
“She would’ve been disappointed.” I burst into tears, bringing my hands to my face.
Josh mumbles another curse before he scoops me up from the chair and carries me to the bedroom, laying me down on the bed and crawling in behind me. Curling his arm around my waist, he pulls me closer so my back is pressed against his chest, propping his chin on my shoulder.
“Shhh,” he whispers. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I lost my temper, but I’d never hit you.”
“You pulled my hair.”
“I’m sorry.” He lifts his head and kisses my hair, then my neck. “I’m so fucking mad at you, Harper, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still love you. You’re so young. Too young.” He sighs against my skin. “I should probably let you go.” I wish he’d make it that easy. But I know Josh. “But I’m too selfish.” See? “When will you be eighteen?”
“In two weeks.”
“I can wait.” Wait for what? As if waiting until I’m eighteen is pushing some imaginary reset button and the last eight months never happened. “Tell me about your sister,” he prompts.
Inhaling a deep breath, I say, “Her name was Jade…” And for the rest of the night and into the early morning hours, I tell Josh all about Jade and my mother. I leave out the details about Willow because that will just open a whole other can of worms.
I realize it’s the longest conversation we’ve ever had in our entire relationship.
But it doesn’t change my feelings for him.
And I still can’t believe he pulled my hair.
Neither of us is leaving this relationship unscathed.
The next morning, I wake with a pounding headache to the sound of the alarm on my phone coming from my purse in the living room. I try to move to get up, but Josh is still holding on to me, anchoring me down. Both of us are still fully dressed, including shoes, from the night before.
“Josh,” I whisper as I try to lift his arm.
“Hmm.”
“I need to get up and turn off my phone. I have to get ready for school.”
“You’re not going to school today,” he mumbles against the back of my head.
“Josh, I have to go to school.”
“Fine. But I’m driving you there and picking you up after.”
“Why? I’m not a child, Josh.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I think we established last night that you are, in fact, a child. Do you have to work today?”
What a fucking asshole.
“No.” I sigh, once again feeling defeated. “Fine, I’ll stay home. I have a headache anyway.”
“Want me to get you something?”
“Will you get my phone so I can turn off the alarm?”
“Sure.” He kisses the back of my head, then rolls out of bed. A moment later, he ret
urns with my phone in hand, placing it on the nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed.
Looking down at me, he brushes my hair away from my face. “We haven’t been spending enough time together. I’ve been so busy running these clubs, I’ve neglected you and our relationship. I still can’t believe you’re only seventeen.” He sighs. “I just want to spend the day with you doing nothing. Well….” He looks over his shoulder, and I follow his line of sight to see the stuff from my trunk piled up in the living room. “Except unpack your stuff.”
Josh has reached an all-time level of crazy. His mood swings are making me a little dizzy, and right now my head hurts too bad to try to keep up. “Will you get me something for my headache?”
“Yeah.”
The rest of the day is split between taking naps and unpacking my stuff, Josh glued to my side. I don’t particularly care for this moody, needy, clingy version of him, but at least he hasn’t touched me except for a kiss here and there. He’s taking this whole waiting for two weeks seriously, which is fine with me. Too bad I won’t be here in two weeks.
I hope.
Wednesday morning, I wake up before my alarm to find Josh once again perched on the edge of the bed, staring down at me.
I suck in a breath.
“Shhh. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He brushes my hair away from my face. “You’re so beautiful, Harper,” he whispers. “I’ve been watching you sleep for the last ten minutes, wondering how someone who’s been through all the shit you’ve been through can sleep so peacefully.” He exhales a deep breath. “I know you don’t love me anymore.”
“I do love you. It’s just—”
“Let me finish.” He sighs. “There used to be a sparkle in your eyes whenever you looked at me. That’s how I always knew how you felt about me, that you loved me. That sparkle is gone. I saw the moment it left your eyes, the night you saw me with Tiffany. That’s why I lost it, because I knew I’d lost you. If you want to go, I won’t stop you. I know I’ve done some things recently that hurt you, made you doubt me, and that’s on me. But if there’s any chance of fixing this, of making you love me again, then stay. Give me another chance. And one day, when you’re ready—when you’re old enough—I want to marry you and give you a family you deserve. I love you.” Tears slide from the corners of my eyes down into my hair. “Will you take today and think about it?”