I looked up just as Andy started to come, his mouth opened and he growled, then he gritted his teeth, I cried out as my orgasm took control of me and together we came, harder than we ever had before and as he relaxed against me it felt like home and I cannot say that having that feeling about him and being here was the best thing to run through my mind. In fact it made me nervous in almost every way.
Chapter Five
True Gift
I went home that night alone. I never even tried to wait on Molly. I was not being rude. I simply needed to leave. The whole thing was so bizarre that it almost seemed like a dream and not reality to me. I spent the next 3 days ignoring her calls but when the knock came to my door I knew it was her, or worse yet…Andy. I mean what should I do with this? I came while I was with a man who I thought was just a sex and also, which may be the more disturbing part, while my best friend was being fucked in front of me. I was trying my best to process it, but it was not going as easily as I thought it might.
I considered ignoring the knocks until Molly called out my name and I felt like an asshole. I mean I said yes to going, I went up the elevator and I went into the room. Those were all mature choices that I made so why act as if she did something wrong?
I walked to my door and opened it up just as Molly was turning to walk back down the stairs onto the shimmering sidewalk. The cab sat idle out front and I looked down to see a box, wrapped up in a beautiful bow at my feet. Fuck… a Christmas present. I sighed and then looked up as she walked back to me, half smiling, but looking cautious just the same.
“I thought maybe you were not here.”
“Molly, listen.”
She walked to me and gave me a big hug as I kind of melted into her. I don’t know why I thought I could just pretend, I mean I can’t. If things have changed then I need to meet them head on like the adult I am claiming to be here. She pulled back from me and moved my hair behind my ear. She grinned and then looked down.
“It is just something small.”
I grinned and leaned down to pick it up as she turned to walk away.
“Molly.”
She turned and looked back at me.
“I have hot chocolate, tons of it and there is no way I can drink it all.”
“Really?” she asked as she walked back up and I smiled at her, letting her know that we would be fine, we have to be. I do love her anyway.
“Come in.”
She turned back to the cabby and waved at him.
“You can go!” she said and he waved and drove off with his Christmas wreath flapping on the top of his hood.
We stepped into my house and she took her shoes off and then her coat, hat and scarf. She set them aside and followed me into the living room. I turned and held one hand up to her.
“I am a complete asshole.”
“No, no you are not. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t.” I said as I took a step towards her.
“I know that I did.” She added as she watched me closely.
“Well, I mean, it was…. different.”
She smiled and then it turned into a laugh as I started to laugh too.
“Just a little bit.”
I shook my head.
“Open it.” She said and I remembered I had the box in my hand.
I tore at the paper ribbon and then opened the top up only to start laughing so hard tears welled up in my eyes. She walked towards me and then stopped, smiling her beautiful smile as always. I looked back down and saw the pile of batteries she had given to me.
“I will come here anytime and mud mask, eat chocolate and drink wine. I don’t care Erin, I love you. You are my best friend.”
I tossed the box aside and hugged her as hard as I could as I knew we would be fine. Different, but fine just the same. I pulled back and sniffled as she stared at me.
“I thought you said there was hot chocolate in here?”
I nodded and left her in the living room as I ran into the kitchen to get us two cups overflowing with marshmallows. I returned as she was leaning and staring at my phone which had lit up on the table.
“You should text him back.”
I shook my head and walked up to her. Setting the cups down and then I set down, finally facing her.
“I can’t.” I said as she leaned down to look at me. My head had fallen just a bit.
“Can’t or won’t?” she said to me and I looked up and shrugged my shoulders.
“I mean we…when you and those guys, well, we were…”
“Getting busy?” she asked me and I started to laugh.
“You can say that.”
She scooted towards me and tapped my knee.
“Andy asked me to bring you there that night, well, he has been asking me for a while and it was not until I had just had enough of your hermit lifestyle…”
“He asked you?” I said as I stood up.
“Yes.”
“So were you and him…” I started to say and she narrowed her eyes.
“No, never.”
“Had he seen you…”
“No, Erin….no. He saw me that night only because you were there.”
“Oh.”
“Listen, I don’t want that between us, I don’t want this weird thing we have here fucking everything up. I love you, I meant that but I don’t want to fuck you. I mean don’t get me wrong, you are hot and if I didn’t care about you I would totally ask you out but I do care, a lot and I could never. I just couldn’t.”
I sat back down and hugged her again as I felt like we would be okay. We would always be best friends and regardless of this sexual thing we experienced together we were both mature enough to handle it.
“So?” she said as I leaned back and looked at her.
“No.”
“You need to text him back, just say hi, he just messaged you and from the looks of it, it was like the 100th one.”
“No, just no. I can’t.”
“Why?” she said as she reached out and took a drink of her hot chocolate.
“Andy is just a fuck buddy, I get that. I know it is true and I can’t do this the rest of my life with him.”
“What? Do you want kids and a husband?”
I hesitated, which answered her question.
“Okay, I get it now.”
“You get what?” I said as I pulled the cup to my lips.
“You love him.”
I was taking a drink and choked on it. I set it down and the nervous laughter I suddenly had said more than any words could.
“No, I don’t love him, I love to do him.”
“Right.” She said as she took another drink and I smiled at her.
We spent half the night watching romance movies. Then I popped in my favorite Christmas movie of all time and snuggled against her as she played with my hair. I started to nod off and thought about how fortunate I was to have Molly in my life. She was a good friend who cared for me and someone who was liberated enough to make it through the weirdness that had happened at the club that night. I grinned as I felt secure in the fact that we would always be there for each other, whatever strange adventures we ended up on. My phone went off as she peeked down at me and then she picked up my phone and sighed as she suddenly decided to start typing into it. She grinned as she placed it back down and I continued to sleep, happy and finding rest after three days of worry.
***
I woke up the next day on the couch alone. Molly had left during the night and locked the door behind her it seemed. I sat up, stretched my arms out wide and yawned. I was so relaxed and happy, I truly was. I cannot say if the idea of losing Molly was weighing heavier on my heart or the weird feelings I suddenly had for Andy. What I did know is that Molly was fine, I was fine and now if I could just not immediately think of Andy while doing everything, that would rock.
I took my shower and at least 5 times the memory of my last encounter with Andy popped into my mind
. I finally leaned forward and let the hot water engulf my head. I could only hope that it would all go away. I mean all of it, I did not need to stay indoors any longer and with that I hopped out of the shower, dried my hair and decided to go out. Not to do anything insane, just to walk the streets of Chicago on Christmas eve, to see the lights and to act human again. I refused to stay in and watch another movie this week on our Christmas break, in fact even after Christmas I think I should spend some time out, maybe try to date. I then walked into the kitchen and saw a note from Molly, big kiss on it with her red lipstick. I smiled and opened it up as it read…
"Meet me at Chadwicks Coffee Shop at 5”
I grinned at the thought of hanging out with her and happy that she had asked me. Chadwicks was awesome, the best coffee this side of Chicago, and it sat right across from the outdoor ice skating rink that we had here every year. It was also tradition for us. Molly and I had coffee there every Christmas eve for the last 3 years and then attempted to skate. I took a bite of my blueberry bagel and grinned as I set her note down. I had so much to be thankful for, and having Molly as a friend was probably the best thing in my life. I finished getting ready, placed my floppy blue hat on and matching scarf. I stepped out and looked around, Christmas Eve in Chicago again. I love this city, I always had since the day I came here and I love this holiday, even more so now as I felt the weight of worry leaving me.
I walked out into the snow as it fell slowly from the sky. I looked up and opened my mouth, allowing one to touch my tongue. It sent a chill through me as I let my breath out and it puffed up white like smoke. I love Chicago, I love everything about it. I grinned as I started to walk down the street, watching families arm and arm, kids high on their Dad’s shoulders holding their hands up to catch the falling snow. I then saw a couple leaning against the brick wall as the man leaned in and kissed the woman ever so softly. I sighed and tried to ignore it. Christmas has a way of making you feel like you should be in love, you should have a partner who loves you back. I then rounded the corner and spotted Chadwicks and smiled. Who knows, I may be one of those women who never gets married or has kids, but has a funny and kickass best friend her whole life.
I stepped up to the front of the building and opened the door up as carolers sang outside the door. That was another thing I loved about this place. It was how they embraced Christmas and its fun traditions, it isn’t that I don’t respect others and their idea of what Christmas is, but I came from a home that Christmas was a tree, presents, carolers and too much food. Sprinkle in Santa Claus and there you have it.
I walked in and was immediately greeted with the thick smell of cinnamon and pine. I grinned as the Christmas spirit was just going to keep me going. I then grabbed a seat and waited, waited and then waited some more. I pulled my phone out and nothing, no messages, so I sent Molly one hoping she was okay and she wrote me back almost immediately, apologizing for the fact that her Parents had surprised her at home and she could not be able to make it. I sighed and text her back that it was okay, but my spirits were dampened a bit, I will not lie. I guess I was actually excited to do this, much more so than I realized. I then looked up to see yet another couple kissing and that was it for me. I need to leave, get away from this and go home.
I stepped out onto the sidewalk with my to-go coffee and someone accidentally ran into me and it spilled. The woman stopped and apologized profusely and I smiled, being courteous to her but I was not going back into the shop and to that line to get another one. I had just waited 25 minutes for this and it was then that I decided to just walk home and brew my own, forgoing my traditional Chadwicks cup of Christmas brew and some good company that Molly provided. I started to walk and then as the depression settled in I teared up, I know…girlie mess. I mean it is Christmas Eve and Molly is not here and I spilled my coffee and….
The crowd parted like the red sea and at first when I looked up I did not think he was real. I stopped walking and wiped my eyes as I focused in on him and I suddenly saw Andy. He was standing there with flowers, a huge bouquet of them in his hands. I actually looked behind me to see if someone else was staring him down, but there was no one. I turned and he smiled at me. I watched him as he walked towards me and then he stopped about 5 feet away as he held the flowers tightly. I looked at them and then at him.
“Hello Erin.” He said to me and I narrowed my eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him and he stepped towards me.
“I brought you flowers.”
I looked at them and shook my head.
“You did not.”
“I so did, I mean they are in my hand.”
I grinned and then looked at him curiously.
“How did you know I was here?”
“Let’s just say a friend told me.”
“Oh my God, Molly?”
Molly stood off to the side and out of sight, smiling as she watched the two of us.
“You don’t have to do this Andy, I am okay.”
He lowered the flowers and tilted his head at me.
“What exactly am I doing Erin?”
“Pretending to like me.”
“I don’t like you, I never did.” he said to me and I stepped back and let my breath out.
“Okay.”
He stepped towards me and the flowers seemed to overwhelm my face, he tossed them aside and took my hands into his.
“I never liked you Erin, not one minute of one day, I never did because I have always loved you.” He whispered as my heart fluttered, not unlike it had a million times before when he and I were together, but not in this way.
“What?”
“I love you Erin, do you love me? please say yes.”
“Andy, I never liked you either.” I said as I started to cry. He leaned in and kissed me. Then as our lips parted I stared into eyes, those eyes I knew so well, but never allowed to be anything more to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up as Molly started to walk away from us, tearing up a bit.
“This will someday be an anniversary.” He whispered to me and that was not a lie as Chadwicks became our spot, each and every year on this date from that day forward, not as two strangers in a large city attempting to avoid the inevitable, but as husband and wife.
From the Author…
As always, huge thank yous to my publisher, and one of my closest friends, S.J. Davis. To my husband, Von, who is a true inspiration and support to me and to all of my friends and fans that made it possible for me to become a full time author. You know that I adore all of you.
Be sure to check out all of Rue Volleys work on amazon.com
Join the Fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Rue-Volley/146299465525490
And continue to support Indie Art in all mediums.
No Regret
By Kim McNiel
Published by Hot Ink Press
An Imprint of
Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing
This Book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, duplicated, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
©Text Copyright 2014 Kim McNiel
Cover By Rue Volley
All rights reserved
This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious and are products of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual events, or locales or persons, living or dead are entirely coincidental.
Chapter One
Everyone in the office is giddy with excitement as they get ready for the big birthday bash for the company. Their celebration spirit is making me sick to my stomach and I can’t take it. Almost bursting in tears, I run for the bathroom. Me and this particular party thing clash like oil and water, we share a hate-hate connect
ion after last year’s. It was a complete and utter disaster.
Ryan and I were engaged. Everything was in perfect harmony in my world and our relationship was stronger than it had ever been. I loved him and he loved me. He was a great man, the perfect gentleman, and he treated me like royalty. Ryan had proposed to me a week before and things were finally perfect in my life. I had a great job that blended so perfectly with my great future as Ryan’s wife.
The annual company party was all set and once it was over, he and I were to spend what would have been the first of our many anniversaries together. I arrived at the party, showing off my beautiful engagement ring to a few friends who worked in other departments. I was one hundred percent happy, content, and fulfilled. Everything was perfect.
Everyone there was so excited for me, but they all insisted that I should blow off the party and get home to my future husband and make happy memories. I couldn’t have agreed more and took them up on it immediately. After making my rounds and saying all of my greetings and goodbyes to everyone, I left out, headed back home to the little apartment Ryan and I had been sharing for the six months prior to our engagement. I had this night all planned out, including the perfect little sexy outfit to make it amazing and unforgettable.
Between The Sheets (A Naughty Box Production Book 1) Page 7