**
I dreamt like it was for the first time. I couldn’t remember having dreams as a vampire. Sleep in general was a very different thing for the past couple decades. It was a much heavier sleep. I’d often awake and my limbs would feel very heavy like I hadn’t used them in days, no matter the length of time I slept.
My dreams were chaotic. Flashes of terrible things were interlaced with images of true beauty. I was naked and blind, lost in the woods only moments before I was swimming in the ocean with the warm sun kissing my face.
There was blood. Then Christmas morning.
Everyone I knew appeared everywhere I turned. Charles hid in the shadows and Annabelle held my hand. Will and I shared a patch of sand and my brother Linus and I ran in the backyard again as little kids, playing tag around our parents.
Nothing felt real. Even when I awoke, the several times I awoke in the night, it took me minutes to realize I could move my arms, feel the soft pillow, see the shadows on the walls and hear the faint breathing of my companions.
The sounds of distress woke me up, and for a second, I feared the worst. Only for a second. I had more faith in Annabelle than that.
Even when my eyes very slowly focused and I saw blood on Annabelle’s lips and didn’t see Will anywhere, I didn’t worry.
Even though Annabelle looked kind of guilty when she saw me staring at her.
“Your human is there, in the bathroom. The sight of me feeding made him sick,” she explained hastily.
“Annabelle, I know you won’t hurt him,” I told her calmly, but with a scratchy, strained voice. How long did I sleep? It felt like forever since I used my vocal chords.
She glared at me through ice blue eyes. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because you’re better than that.”
Annabelle looked away. If she had been human, she would have rolled her eyes.
“You are the strongest, the wisest, and the most compassionate of all of us. It might take you awhile to remember, but you will find yourself again.”
“You are talking as if I were human,” Annabelle mumbled, but still with the eloquence in her tone that made her so mesmerizing to me.
“You are, Annabelle,” I whispered, knowing she wouldn’t want to hear it. When I was like her, I wouldn’t have listened to it either. But then again, I was stupid.
“You forget, little one. I have been this creature for centuries. Perhaps you have been able to keep hold of your humanity. Mine is long dead.”
“What makes us so different? Colin, Charles, they all wanted us to believe we aren’t even the same species. But vampires can feel love, lust, compassion, pride, envy, respect. You can worry and be angry and depressed and lonely. You and I may not feel them the same exact way, but the emotions are all the same.”
Annabelle looked at the floor away from me as she mumbled, “you are naïve.”
“And you are blind,” I said, flashing my vampire sister a grin. “But someday you’ll see.”
She had no response for me, and I wasn’t surprised. I saw vampires very differently now than I did when I was one. I was always told we weren’t alive. We weren’t human. Nothing remained of who we used to be.
But how could that be true if I was now who I was before? None of what made me me was lost. My memories were intact. I was still the same Lena.
When I was human before, for the first time, I’d loved to learn how things worked, why things were the way they were. That was why I wanted to be a doctor. What better way to learn how people functioned?
Seemed like I never lost that interest. I had to know everything there was to know about vampires now too. How we functioned. How we were able to survive in such a limited existence.
Most of all, I wondered if Charles was truly indestructible, his family and fortress impenetrable. Because this was the first step to getting Declan back.
And I would get him back.
I wasn’t sure what we were going to do now. I wanted to find my family, make sure they were okay. Linus was only fifteen when I left the world. He had been a typical boy of that age, a slacker who acted like nothing mattered to him. Now he was thirty-seven. He’d have a career if he ever found his way. A wife and kids maybe.
Although I knew I couldn’t let him see me, I had to see if he was okay. I had to see if my family had survived all this time. Needed to.
Among the other things I needed to do.
Many minutes went by as Annabelle finished her blood and the retching in the bathroom stopped. Really, I was surprised watching Annabelle feed didn’t make me sick too, but it didn’t.
Finally, Will came back into the room, looking pale and sweaty. Poor guy.
“Are you awake?” he asked shakily, his body still uncomfortable from throwing up.
“How long did I sleep?” I asked, and noticed my voice didn’t sound much stronger than his did. Neither of us were at our best. I wondered how long it would take for us to be normal again.
Normal. As if that was a possibility now.
“About a day and a half.”
It didn’t feel like that long. I was still exhausted. I muttered, “wow”.
Will sat at the foot of the bed I was still curled up in. The hotel sheets were kind of stiff and my legs were intricately twisted up in them.
He placed his hand on the piles of fabric around my ankles. “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” I said hastily, then shrugged. “Well, weak. And groggy. My wrist is throbbing. I’m starving and it’s like my mouth is stuffed with cotton. But…otherwise, good.”
Will smiled, and rose off the bed. I watched as he walked to a paper sack on the table by the door and pulled out a big bottle of water and a candy bar. He opened the bottle for me, then replaced the cap and set everything on the nightstand by my head.
It was all so sweet. I couldn’t believe he didn’t hate me. Look at what I’d done to him!
His neck and wrist had white bandages, but I knew the wounds they were covering. I’d done that to him.
I looked down at my wrist, and it was covered with white bandages like Will’s. He doctored my injury while I slept. I hadn’t even noticed.
“How about you?” I asked after he sat back down.
“Huh?”
I raised my eyebrows. “How are you feeling?”
“Well,” Will looked at me, and we stared at each other for awhile before he continued. “Three of my ribs are cracked and one is broken. I have a knife wound on my wrist and bite marks on my neck. I just stole blood from an emergency room. Vampires are real. And I’m pretty sure they’re after us.”
I nodded empathetically, and Will smiled.
“But, otherwise good.”
I laughed, and it hurt, like my lungs felt heavy. But it was nice anyway. Good to know I was capable of laughing after everything.
“What did you tell the doctors about—?” I asked after the pain outweighed the nice feelings of the laughter, looking up at the bandage on his neck.
“They only looked at my ribs. I told them I was in an accident.”
“Understatement,” I blurted, and he breathed a chuckle.
“You feel it, don’t you, human?” Annabelle said, tossing the empty medical bag carelessly on the dresser.
“His name is Will, Annabelle. It’s time you start calling him that.”
My own sharpness towards her shocked me. But what shocked me the most was Annabelle recoiled a little, and did as I asked.
“Will,” she said, not quite looking at him. “You feel that you’re marked by her now. Don’t you?”
His hand automatically went to his bandaged neck, and he nodded.
“Huh?” I said, ever so eloquently.
Will turned to me, letting his hand fall from his neck. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it right now.”
Annabelle nodded her agreement after a few moments, so I took their suggestion.
For now. There were other things I wanted to know.
I had so many questions. Some things didn’t add up, and I needed to know the truth. For whatever reason, I thought if I had answers, I might start to understand what happened to me.
I hadn’t gotten used to my thoughts being this out of control yet. Like my dreams, my thoughts were chaotic. I was able to focus if I tried hard, but I had so many things running through my head, it was difficult. I felt that answers were the only way to quiet them.
“Annabelle, how much do you know about how our family worked?” I asked, finally sitting up in bed and pushing the covers off my body. I was still wearing the black dress Declan had picked out for me. It was torn and had blood on it now. Human and vampire. Mostly mine.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, the day to day life. How things were run. How we were able to survive in that house without being bothered. That kind of stuff.”
I grabbed the water and the candy bar from the nightstand Will had brought me and drank nearly half the water down before I was able to stop. I was so thirsty. And so hungry. I ripped open the wrapper and inhaled the tiny thing in three bites, but was still starved. I couldn’t imagine ever being satisfied again.
She answered with wariness in her tone after I swallowed the food and drank some more water. “I have a vague understanding.”
I didn’t care if she didn’t want to answer. I deserved to know some things. I had to know.
“How did we have money? How are the Masters able to keep giant houses on acres of land? Did they pay taxes? Humans have laws too, you know. And rules.”
“Money is easy to come by. The invention of the credit card, however, has made things simpler. And most things can be done through the post office. Some of the craftier of us adapted with the times. The World Wide Web now makes our existence far easier to manage.”
Mail order blood? No, that would be suspicious. But that explained how Declan was able to get my books delivered. The internet.
“Where did our blood come from? If we couldn’t be around humans, if they were afraid of us at first sight, how did we get it? It was human blood, right?”
“Yes, it was always human blood. There are some vampires who have a skill to walk among humans and not be detected.”
Locklan’s family. My true, vampire family.
“So they would, what? Snatch people and drain them dry?”
“From what I’ve learned, they keep them locked up. Usually those that will not be missed, that do not have family. Their blood is harvested weekly, then distributed amongst the families.”
She said it like she said anything, as if it wasn’t something horrible.
But I didn’t dwell on that either. The memory of Locklan and his family made me realize something. But it took awhile for my brain to understand. Maybe it was stupid, or maybe it was my erratic brain making it seem otherwise. But it was all I had. May as well go with it.
“I may have an idea,” I said to the others, and jumped out of bed, ran barefoot to the front of the room and threw the door open. “Annabelle? Will you walk with me?”
As I looked back, my companions were looking at me like I’d lost it. Maybe I was out of my mind. But I didn’t care.
“Wait,” Will said, standing uneasily. “We should stay inside, stay hidden. They could be looking for you.”
He looked so concerned. And it wasn’t for himself. It was for me. Because I was their target now. Will could leave me if he wanted and never have to endure any of this again. They would not be able to find him if he didn’t go back to his apartment where my blood was.
But he stayed while I slept. And he stayed now.
I closed the door again and locked it. I did need to think these things through first anyway.
Not to mention, I desperately needed a shower.
“We can’t stay here for long,” I said after a few minutes of our misfit ensemble feeling uncomfortable looking anywhere else but at the floor. “Charles will be able to find Annabelle.”
She stared at me finally, blinking uncharacteristically. I think maybe she was still getting used to seeing me this way, as a human.
I did look different. It took me several nighttime trips to the bathroom, squinting from the bright lights at my reflection to really take it in.
My skin, my eyes, my hair, even my lips were a different color. My movements probably looked erratic and ungainly to Annabelle. I could only imagine what it must be like for her, after knowing me one way for so long. I’d be shocked if she ever really got used to me being human.
“How long have you known?” Annabelle said quietly, sadness in her tone.
“I’m not sure. He couldn’t say your name. It just occurred to me.”
“Yes,” she looked away, at her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She gazed at herself as she said, wistfully, “he knows me by another name.”
I would have asked what name. I wanted to know what my sister was called before she became Annabelle. But she looked sad and distant, and I decided I didn’t need to know.
“What’s going on? How come Charles will be able to find Annabelle?” Will asked, breaking the staring contest we were having, me with the side of Annabelle’s face and Annabelle with her own reflection.
I looked at her, urging her to explain. She must have known I’d figure it all out. That eventful night, Annabelle told me all I needed to know to put the pieces together. It was silly for her to deny it. And, as far as I was concerned, we had to be a team now. She couldn’t go back to her old life any more than I could.
Either of my old lives.
“Lena is right. Charles will be able to track me.”
“How?” Will asked, and I grinned. He wasn’t going to let her get away with being cryptic anymore either.
Annabelle growled deep in her throat, but answered. “We are connected. Charles was my sire.”
I knew this didn’t mean anything to Will. He didn’t know about the sire stuff. I didn’t feel comfortable explaining it to him when we discussed vampirism in his apartment those few long nights ago. But his accurate intuition paid off again, because he didn’t inquire any further.
“But he is out of practice,” Annabelle offered to the silence. “We have not lived in close proximity for two hundred and fifty years. He will be able to locate me, but it will take some time.”
So many questions emerged. Wouldn’t Charles’s family know Annabelle used to be his consort? Wouldn’t Colin have known? I didn’t get it. But I’d wait to ask. I knew Annabelle wasn’t ready to share.
Annabelle said somberly, giving her reflection another glance, then rising from the chair she’d been sitting in. “There is no defeating Charles. I will not do him harm. And two humans trying to take him on…”
“It’s laughable, I get it. But I told you,” I said, taking a step closer to her, only now noticing how wobbly my legs were. “I have an idea.”
Harsh Light of Day Page 54