by Kathryn Moon
“I know,” she said, breathy and nodding. “You’re one of the lucky ones, huh?”
“Umm. I- I dunno. Yeah, we’ll see.” I didn’t feel lucky. Just changed. And sometimes that change was kind of exciting, and sometimes it was fucking terrifying.
Lola’s eyes fell to the floor, and I wished I just squealed and said yes and been as excited as she would’ve been so she wouldn’t feel like this sudden shift to omega was wasted on me. Her eyes drifted over my shoulder and then grew wide.
“Wow. Packing up already? Did you… god, Baby do you have a pack already?” Lola pushed past me to survey my disassembled apartment, boxes taped shut and bags of abandoned items pushed to the side.
“I… think so. I chose one, yeah,” I said, my feet turning in beneath me and then out again. “The Center’s calling them today.”
At the thought of my new pack getting the news, I started to perfume, and even I could smell it clearly on the air. Lola turned, eyebrows raised, nostrils flaring. She giggled, sudden and nervous.
“Aw, shit, Baby. The heat?”
“It’s coming soon, we think,” I said, and before I knew it, tears were welling up.
The Center had explained that a heat would bring heightened emotions with it. Coupled with the sudden changes, I was pretty regularly turning on the faucets. Lola sagged and returned to me, bundling me up in her arms, all the shyness of a moment ago passing under a beta’s perfect care.
“Aww, babe. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be good now. Think about it, all those men just tripping over themselves to take care of you? Honey, it’s gonna be so good.”
“I know but I… Lo, I don’t want to be an ass by saying this, but I liked my designation. It was so easy,” I whimpered, tucking myself against her.
Lola’s arms tightened around me and she sighed. “Did you pick a good pack?”
I nodded. That much I was positive of, although none of the three I’d interviewed would’ve been bad for me.
“Then it’s gonna be great, babe,” Lola said, cheeks full with a bright smile. “That’s what it’s all about. That perfect family.”
My heart banged. Family. I would be part of a pack family, surrounded with love. I’d always wanted kids, known it was down the line for me, but with a pack of alphas that was an overwhelming guarantee. It was probably just a good thing I’d already gotten fixed up with birth control.
Lola’s tears spilled at the same time as mine and we wrapped our arms around each other, bodies shaking in a harmony of sorrow and shock and happiness. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her where she could find me with my new pack, but I decided the news could wait. I just wanted a little time with her as myself. The omega issue would sit between us for a long time, I suspected, but I would pretend for a few more hours that it wouldn’t change everything.
“You want help packing?” Lola wheezed in my ear.
I nodded, my chin digging into her shoulder. “Please,” I squeezed out.
Lola pushed me back, laughed softly, and wiped tears from the corners of her eyes before turning to face the room. “Okay, so this is a hot mess. Where do we start?”
I laughed and shook my head. “The thing is, I don’t even really know what I need at this point.”
Lola snorted and waved a hand at me. “Don’t be crazy. You don’t need anything now. You want it? They’ll get it for you.”
I swallowed. Maybe it would be harder than I hoped to pretend things weren’t different.
I’d worked up a sweat by the time we were done, peeling off my long-sleeved shirt and leaving it on the couch I was donating. Everything I wanted, everything of mine that smelled of me and felt important, was boxed and stacked by the door. The rest was arranged in the corner of the room, and the donation pile was bigger than I would’ve imagined.
“So that’s it,” Lola said, eyeing my boxes. “Next stop: your pack.”
I fanned myself with the collar of my t-shirt and eyed my window, wondering if I could crack it to cool down. “Next stop is back to the Center. Courting starts tomorrow.”
Lola sighed and gave me a wistful smile. “You know what they’ll gift you?”
Courting, the process of the pack alphas bringing gifts to their potential omega to prove they could provide for and care with tenderness, was one of the steps of the relationship I was iffy about. The gifts were meant to be for the nest, or for the omega’s care during a heat, treats and soft things and cozy additions to an omega’s decadent life.
As a previously directionless restaurant hostess with a languishing degree in English Literature, I lived paycheck to paycheck on the understanding that needs came before wants, and even needs had to be narrowed down at the end of the month. I hadn’t received more than the usual stack of books at Christmas since I was in high school.
The part of courting I was excited for—excited and anxious—was scent-marking. That meant touching, cuddling, nuzzling with my alphas, and contact was something I’d been lacking since I’d arrived at the Center.
“No idea. I know the Center gives them a packet that I helped fill out but…”
“You probably weren’t much help,” Lola said, nodding. Lola was one of the biggest supporters of ‘self-care’ that I knew. She would’ve had a laundry list of gift items she wanted, memorized for this very such thing. Her eyebrows raised as she stared at me. “You hot, babe?”
I snorted. “A little. Glad I don’t have to lug the boxes around after this.”
Lola hummed and nodded, and her eye skimmed past me. “It’s getting late. I should head out, get to work. And youuuu should get back to the Center before all the resident alphas show up in the building.”
“Lola,” I whispered, drawing her gaze back to me. “I’m…I’m sorry.”
“Omigod, Baby, no,” Lola cooed, rushing to me, eyes wide. “No. Don’t be sorry. I’m happy for you, I really really am. I’m jealous to the ends of the earth and back, yeah. But I’m happy for you.”
“Love you, Lo,” I said, grinning and blinking away another round of weeping. I was not a cryer like this usually.
“Love you, babe,” she said, squeezing me tight. She held me for a long moment and then stiffened. “Um…okay, so you can totally say no. Of course you can. But um… could I like… borrow your sweatshirt?”
“Sure, are you cold?” I asked, pulling away and crossing to the couch to grab it for her.
Lola huffed and wiggled where she stood, nose wrinkling. “I mean, I forgot my jacket. But no, I’m…” She huffed and rolled her eyes. “Never mind. Terrible question. Shitty friend.”
Oh. Ohhhhhh. My sweatshirt I’d abandoned after getting too hot and perfuming all up in it. Lola wanted my perfume.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say ‘yes’— we always shared clothes—and then worry set in. My new pheromones were on that fabric. Lola could get in serious trouble if she presented as an omega intentionally. She could also be targeted by an unbonded alpha, although they’d realize she was beta quickly enough.
But of course, Lola loved alphas.
It would be super inappropriate of me to give her that sweatshirt with my pheromones. Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time a beta borrowed a little boost from an omega friend. It wouldn’t even be the first time Lola had from me, although that had been an accident.
“You’ve gotta be careful,” I said slowly, and Lola’s eyes whipped to mine. My feet fidgeted against the floor as I searched for the words. “You’ll wash it when you’re done, right?”
“Baby, you really don’t—“
I didn’t, but for Lola… I kind of wanted to. I wanted her to be happy and I wanted her to have a little fun.
“You’ll be safe?” I asked again, holding it out to her.
Lola held her breath, cheeks pinking as she tried not to burst into an enormous grin. She nodded so hard I thought her head might fall off. “Cross my heart. You better not wait to text me again, yeah?”
“Promise,” I said. We met in the middle
of my living room, arms circling one another. I tried to focus on how good it was to see her, to come back to the world I knew amidst all the change surrounding me. Instead, I found myself forcing down the hinky feeling of handing over my scent to someone else. It was Lola. She deserved this.
“See you soon, yeah?” she asked, pressing a smacking kiss to my cheek and then pulling herself free of the hug, grin huge and happy.
“Yeah! See you, Lolo,” I said.
Her steps were quick to the door, and she waved with giddy energy and a goofy grin. The security nodded to her as she slid out the door, and I thought his head twitched to watch her walk away. Was it so bad if Lola did borrow a little of my scent for the night? We’d been friends since freshman year of college. She even got me the hostessing gig at the restaurant. I could spare a few pheromones for her the once…twice, if I considered the night at Devil’s Noose.
No, it was gonna be fine. She’d get smokin’ hot alpha sex for the night and not think about how I was about to get the thing she wanted most in the world. A pack.
I lifted the back of my hand up to my throat, skin burning and flushed, and realized I was done here. Two and a half years on my own in this little old Uptown apartment, and I was packed up in a day. I flipped the lights off and pulled my jacket down from the hook, deciding I’d prefer a little bite of winter on my skin over wrapping up. Security locked my front door behind me after I exited.
“You’re missing a layer,” he said, voice almost robotically even.
I shrugged. “Got hot while packing. I’ll be all right.”
He snorted and shook his head. “We better get out to the car quick. Pretty sure your heat’s hit.”
I blinked at his back as he led the way. He was tall for a beta, with a thick neck and broad shoulders under his jacket. A little squared off for my tastes, and he smelled faintly of old dishwater.
“My heat,” I said. The first stage was the fever.
Oh, Baby. You idiot.
“Car,” the beta called back, and I hurried after him, wondering if I was imagining the escalating boil of my blood in my veins or if it really was coming in that strong.
When we reached the open garage, cold wind streaking through the aisles, I started shivering wildly, yanking on my coat.
“I’ll call ahead to the Center. You rest in the back and let me know when you want AC or heat,” the beta said, opening the passenger side door to the back seat of the SUV.
I slid in, heel bobbing nervously against the floor as I stared wide-eyed at him through the windows. He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and spoke in a tone too low for me to hear from inside the car. He stalled outside the driver’s side, his back turned to me, head bobbing, and hung up before opening the door.
“The Packs got the call an hour ago about your choice. Center wants to know if you want to go to your pack now or wait for them to be ready and come get you. Tapp said something about concerns about the nest?”
For a stretch of silence, my mouth hung open and wordless. I’d gone from icy cold outside to starting to sweat again inside the cold car. Too fast. All of this was too fucking fast. I’d been a beta last week. Or at least I thought I had. Now I could barely remember all the information the Center had thrown at me about being an omega. Fever was first… what was next? Nesting? The spike of arousal? How long before I was whining and begging for knots from practical strangers.
One piece of advice stuck out through the haze of the growing fever.
Omegas had heightened instincts. Their senses were operating at an above-average level, and their brains computed all the information into subconscious, but reliable gut instincts. I liked the way my chosen pack smelled, but it wasn’t just about enjoying them as air fresheners, it was about their chemical makeup being suited to mine.
Follow your instincts, Baby, I thought. Except in the moment, my thoughts sounded like Jonah.
“I want my pack, please,” I said.
The beta’s lips twitched. “One pack bar, comin’ up.”
I sighed and relaxed into my seat. I didn’t care about the nest. I’d camp on Jonah’s office couch if they let me. Or in one of those bar booths.
Scent-marking. I shivered at the thought. We were skipping courting and jumping right into my pack taking me in. I’d get to touch them, be touched by them. As much I was looking forward to curling up with Seth again, I let myself daydream about being surrounded by the big one, Quincy. Or quiet Ryan.
I sighed again and my breath was short, the view outside the moving car window a little hazy. My racing heart from moments ago was slowing and I was feeling drowsy.
That’s right. With fever came lethargy.
The beta was on the phone again, with the Center or with the Howlers maybe.
My lips curled and I cracked the window next to me, letting my eyes fall shut. I’d made the right choice, I was more certain of it now than ever. If I’d settled on any pack but the Howlers I’d be regretting the decision now. There would be time, before I was bonded, for us to change our minds if the fit wasn’t right. I’d filled out a form the day before at the Center, spelling out my consents ahead of time—what I was comfortable with and who from, just in case during heat I was too out of it and started begging for absolutely anything. Tapp had said my version was a little bare, just a simple set of instructions: anything I request during the heat is fine except for bonding.
It might have been open-ended, but I felt confident. This was the pack for me.
“They know we’re on our way,” the beta said, probably to me.
I hummed and nodded, but my eyelids were too heavy.
8
Baby
“Hey, precious. I’ve got you, okay?”
I whined and around me, several soft rumbles echoed in response. I shuddered in Seth's hold and then settled as lemons and apple pie and coffee and woods and sunshine and roses surrounded me.
“She okay?”
“Warm. Hot. That’s normal, right?”
“Fuck if I know.”
“As long as she’s under 110, she’s safe.”
“One-ten?”
“I said that, yeah. For omegas at the start of heat, that’s safe. Higher and we call a doctor.”
A door creaked and there was a low whistle. “Shit, Bomber. It’s clean in here.”
“That’s ‘cause I never invite any of you slobs over.”
“Put her on the bed.”
The mattress was soft and I squirmed as Seth laid me down into what felt like a nest of pillows. My fists clenched on leather and soft laughter kissed my cheek.
“Guess we know who her favorite is.”
“Fuck you, Bomber, you’re not even an alpha,” but the words were said with humor.
“Yeah, but I sure am pretty.”
“We should scent mark her.” I was starting to pick out the voices and I was pretty sure that was Mackenzie.
“Not without her consent,” Jonah said, voice sharp.
“No offense, Prez, but you saw that form. She gave her consent.”
“Contingent on her asking,” Jonah insisted.
I forced my eyes open, and the alphas hovering over me froze. I tilted my head to the side and there was Seth, smile warm as he cradled me on a clean bed in a dark gray room.
“Hey, precious,” he said.
“Hey.” My voice was croaking. I turned my head back to the alphas who were still staring, eyes huge, and heaved myself up with a little help from Seth. Jonah was closest, sitting at the edge of the bed on the other side of me. I reached my arms out to him and my body felt heavy. I was too tired to do the whole speech, to say hello, to confront the awkwardness of my sudden arrival and the incoming heat. I only woke up for one reason. “Please,” I said to Jonah.
His body vibrated and then Quincy, standing on his right, shouldered him forward. Jonah sighed and pulled me into his arms with no effort, dragging me over into his lap. Goosebumps broke out on my skin as I pressed my face into the stubble under his jaw, a
rms circling his shoulder. His palms ran from the top of my head down my back to my waist, and then back up again in a steady rhythm until his purr started to sound. I leaned back in the circle of his hold, eyes already falling shut again as a wave of warmth and sweetness ran through me. Jonah took the invitation, cheek and jaw nuzzling against mine, temples pressed together. He worked his way down to my throat, my shoulders, and then bowed forward, lowering me back into the pillows, continuing to nudge and mark along my collarbone. One of my hands started to slide off his shoulder and he caught it, drawing my wrist to his mouth. His lips hovered over the spot and I opened my eyes, seeing the struggle in his tight shoulders. When his gaze met mine, his tongue flicked out, circling over my pulse, and I moaned and softened into the mattress, and the room let out a collective, pleased purr.
“Get a fuckin’ whiff of that,” Quincy murmured.
Jonah sucked at my pulse until I was well and truly melted, and then tucked my hand back down over my chest and pushed my hair back from my forehead.
“So do we each get to do that?” someone asked. I was pretty sure it was Beach Day.
“The process should help her settle, even out some of the call and response her body’s organizing,” Mackenzie said. My lips quirked. He’d been researching. That was sweet.
“You sleepin’, baby girl?” Jonah murmured.
“Close,” I said, lips barely moving. “Where’s Sanjay?” It came out slurred.
“Hidin’,” Seth answered. “Want me to get him for you?”
“You stay,” I said, finding his fingers in the sheets and tangling them with mine. “He can be later. Ryan?”
It was quiet for a bit, enough so I almost drifted down to sleep again. And then the bed sagged, and a soft hand landed on my hip near Seth.
“Here.”
“C’mere.”
Bodies shifted and I blinked awake long enough to see Ryan’s lips pressed together as he bent closer. His forehead rested against mine, noses touching, lips closed but brushing over one another. I sighed and he growled or purred, and his head shifted down to the opposite side of my throat that Jonah had marked. I felt the kiss on my pulse, and the dull, careful scratch of teeth and I moaned again, trying to roll closer to him but not finding the strength.