“Well, Mark seems certain you’re still a member.” Coming to stand in front of me, she looks down at the ground, hands knitting over her flat belly. Something about her reaction doesn’t sit right with me. “We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. My diary is clear for Monday, so I can go see him at his office then.”
“I didn’t think we’d be going back to DC this soon, and I’m a little overwhe—”
“I don’t wanna go back!” Iris blurts, looking between the two of us. “You promised!”
Before either of us has a chance to say anything, she runs back out of the room. “I’m not going back!”
“Fuck,” I spit, getting to my feet to follow after Iris and Avery, who’s already chasing after her down the stairs, chanting, “Shit. Shit, shit…shit!”
“Iris!” Jo calls after her as she runs out of the back door, toward the lake.
“Iris, get back here! Stop!” Avery catches up to her, out of breath, and I watch from the porch as Iris’s arms flail all over the place as she has an obvious meltdown.
They’re far enough that I catch a couple of words here and there, but not enough to make out the full conversation. It doesn’t take long for Iris to cool off once she starts listening to whatever Avery is telling her. When they head back to the house, she looks exhausted. Iris’s eyes are puffy, and she barely glances up at me when she trudges back in the house.
Guilt tugs at my heart with how downcast she is. Not fifteen minutes ago she was happy and excited, and now…
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I blow out a breath, wrapping my arm around Avery’s shoulders. “I should’ve waited till later to bring it up.”
“It’s not your fault, Doc.” Turning into me, Avery rises on her tiptoes. “She’s scared that if we go back, we won’t be allowed to return. She overheard a conversation I had with Charlie on the phone about the guardianship situation and…” With her tear-ladened pause, my chest constricts.
Every cell of my being wants nothing more than to fix everything for her. I would break every bone in my body if it would make life right for her.
“Sometimes it’s easy to forget she’s still a baby with all her personality.”
“Like I said before, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. There are more ways than one to skin a cat.”
“Eww!” Avery pulls back with a grossed-out pinch to her face. “That’s horrible.”
“It really is, but it’s still the truth. I want to help make things better. I want to make your life the best it can be.”
A soft smile tugs at the corners of her lips, and unexpectedly she cups either side of my jaw. Bringing my face down to hers, she presses a lingering kiss to my lips with a breathy sigh.
“My life is the best it has ever been,” Avery murmurs, nudging the tip of my nose with hers. “And you have everything to do with it.”
“What if it’s not enough?”
Avery is nothing like my exes. Neither Michelle nor Annika had a patch on her, and the string of women that came after them were nothing but commodities. I didn’t care about any of them the way I do her. It terrifies me to think that someday she’ll look at me and want more than what I can give her.
In her early thirties, she’s still got a lot of life left ahead of her. A lot of self-discovery to come…
“Doc? Honey?” My heart forgets itself as she lightly scratches her nails over my stubble.
It feels so good that I can’t help but squeeze her hips as I bring her flush to me. My pulse pounds through my veins as she inhales deeply, squeezing her eyes shut with a low, savoring purr that makes my chest warm.
“If I am more than enough for you,” Avery murmurs, stare blinking open on mine, “you are everything I could ever want or need. You are all I’ve ever dreamed of, and I wish that life had brought you to me before I made all the wrong choices because I would’ve loved you no matter what, and I would’ve never let you go.”
That right there, the look in her eyes as they bore into mine, it’s what makes her unlike any other woman I’ve ever known. She means every word, and it only makes me want to hold on to her as steadfastly as the moon holds on to the tide. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I do exactly that, and I don’t let go until Jo comes to remind us of dinner.
“Stupid pizza,” Avery grumbles under her breath as we pull apart. “I’m not even hungry.”
“Your stomach disagrees,” I chuckle at the loud rumble of her belly.
“Stupid belly.”
“We need to keep your energy up. I don’t want you falling asleep on me.” My whispered tease earns me a light elbow to my stomach along with a gorgeous glow to her cheeks. “The night is long, sweetheart, and cold.”
“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll keep you warm.” The quip gives me pause.
Avery hasn’t ever called me anything other than Garrett or Doc. Which in itself is sort of weird because she loves to tell me how much she likes that I call her sweetheart and sunshine. This is a first I haven’t given much thought to, if any, but the effect it has is staggering. My entire being feels lit up like the Fourth of July. With my heart sputtering and my chest struggling to contain its wild erratic beat, I sit beside her at the dinner table with Iris opposite me.
It takes a few slices of almost cold pizza to get her chatting again. But by the time I give her the warm cookie dough she loves, she’s beaming up at me.
“Addams Family, champ?”
“Duh…”
Like Mark said, Avery had no problem getting into the country club given her membership was under Robert’s name. With his passing, she became the lead holder. Although the news left her a little overwhelmed, Avery fits right into our surroundings.
Old money, elegance and prestige ooze from her in a way I never really noticed before. She’s so down-to-earth that she hides it well away from here. And even though she so obviously belongs in this world, her softness and evident kindness make her completely different to the self-entitled people around us. In a way, it feels like being back in my old life, and I don’t like it.
Nothing about this environment does anything for me, except for Avery. With her long hair all blown out and half of it gathered at the crown, she’s got this stunning ’60s look going on that renders me stupid at every sneaking glance. The natural makeup accentuates her natural glow, and the thick black tick above her eyes makes her already big doe eyes appear brighter and bigger. All that along with the tennis outfit she’s wearing…
Jesus help me.
I can’t concentrate for shit as she and Charlie saunter over to the hole Mark and I have been waiting at for the last half hour. It’s surrounded by trees that make it the perfect spot to ambush Haas. I’m hoping that we get some answers from him today. If there is more to the fact he won’t talk to me, maybe the surprise and the hidden setting will make it easier to get something out of him.
“He’s two holes away,” Charlie tells us, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she takes the club Mark’s holding. Meanwhile, Avery holds the flag as she proceeds to ace the damn putt.
“Still got it!” Charlie lifts the club, spinning it so she can blow over the clubhead.
“It’s an easy hole, princess.” Mark takes the club from her, swatting the outside of her thigh lightly with the grip end.
“Don’t sulk,” she teases him. “You know who has the better aim out of the two of us.”
Avery chuckles as she crouches to retrieve the ball from the hole. The action makes her short skirt lift that little bit too far, offering me an open view of her spandex-covered ass. My hands squeeze at my hips, hard enough that it hurts a little, but not enough to distract my dick or my thoughts from the memories of how her full ass feels in my hands or the way it looks when I fuck her from behind.
“Do you play?” Avery asks, coming to stand in front of me.
Lacing her fingers with mine, she twirls into me so that my arm wraps around her shoulders.
“No. Not really.” Not since
I left New York. Something about her tone tells me that she certainly does, though. “It’s not my kind of sport.”
“He doesn’t consider it a sport.” Mark putts his ball, just missing the hole.
“It’s more of a pastime, don’t you think?”
“Hmm…” Avery scoffs, pulling out a club from the caddy. “It’s like yoga—just because you’re not spraying your nasty sweat everywhere, it doesn’t mean you’re not working out. Just because you’re not running around, throwing objects at other people, it doesn’t mean it’s not a sport.”
“Refined sport doesn’t typically interest me.”
“Refined sport?” Charlie laughs. “God, you sound like such an asshole.”
“It’s about more than just putting your body to work. You know, you have to exercise your mind too.” Avery pauses to study Mark’s shot. “You should try and stay below the hole. Once you’re above it, it’s so much harder to judge the speed and slope.”
“How do you know so much about it anyway?” Mark grumbles, taking another shot and completely missing the hole.
“My dad loved golfing. Every Saturday morning we would come here or to the course closer to our house, and we would play for hours. It’s how he and Gerry became friends.”
“Yeah, Dad loved this place and all its history.” Charlie grins fondly. “It used to be this politician-only club, but then the membership funds weren’t enough to keep it running, so Strategic Services leased it out and it was used as a training base for espionage and sabotage…all those cool secret intelligence things…”
“And now look at it,” Mark scoffs. “A rich man’s playground.”
Avery snickers at his remark while she lines up her putt. Every line of her body curves, bends, and elongates with precision and more natural ease than I’ve ever seen on her.
“Fucking ace!” Charlie waves the flag in the air before returning it to the hole as she retrieves the ball. “Ha! Guess we’re beating your asses…as always!”
“When did this become a competition?”
Charlie looks at me as though I’m a brainless idiot while Mark retorts, “It’s like you don’t know her at all.”
“Life is one big competition, Doc.”
Avery laughs at Charlie’s remark, but it’s cut short when she spins to look behind me. It takes her a second to get herself together.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Charlie spits. “Go fucking figure.”
I spin to look in the direction they’re facing to find Haas walking toward us. He’s accompanied by a tall, slender African American woman. Like Avery and Charlie, she looks unimpressed to see them here too.
“That’s all our questions answered,” Charlie groans at the same time Avery starts to walk away.
“Avery! Wait!” The woman chases after her, and the closer she gets, the faster Avery walks away.
On instinct, my feet carry me to her. I’ve pretty much caught up when the woman grabs Avery’s arm to stop her from going past the tree line. It all happens so fast that I’m taken aback by the echo of Avery’s strike on the cool breeze.
“Stay the fuck away from me, Kayla!”
“I’m…I’m sorry, okay? I know I—but I…babe—”
“Don’t you ever call me that again!” Avery’s eyes clash with mine before she turns to walk away again, but this time, it’s Kayla’s words that halt her in her tracks.
“He’s gone!”
A manic laugh bursts from Avery’s lips. “You better find yourself another friend to screw over.”
Realization dawns on me as Charlie barges past me. “Don’t just stand there and watch. You’re meant to have her back! Fucking men…”
“Shut up, Charisma,” I snap at her, pulling her back by the crook of her elbow. She’ll probably make me pay for that later, but fuck it. “Avery’s not a child—she’s got this. So, stand back and let her handle it.”
With a glare, Charlie stomps her foot down on the grass, crossing her arms over her chest. I know she’s probably going to make me regret calling her by her given name, but it made her listen. Something she’s not always so good at. Especially when she wants to protect someone she cares about.
As much as I want to protect Avery right now, she needs to take matters into her own hands. Facing her demons is the only way she’s going to heal. Sometimes, the only way to fix what’s broken is by smashing it to smithereens and starting from the beginning.
We watch the to-and-fro between Avery and Kayla while Charlie gives me the lowdown on their history, and I can only think that even now, Avery is still going easy on the person who betrayed her trust and love.
“This isn’t me forgiving you,” Avery tells her as they walk back to us. “I just want answers.”
“He just disappeared. Stopped answering his phone. Just gone…it doesn’t make sense. Carl was trying to find the list.”
“What are you talking about? What list?” Avery asks, coming to a stop in front of Charlie and me while Kayla carries on walking to where Haas is standing by the hole with Mark.
Kayla pauses, looking all around us before settling her sight on us. “We can’t talk here. They’re always watching. Always.”
“What are you doing here, then?” Charlie asks, following after her.
“I need answers. I have to find him before they do.”
“Good luck,” Avery scoffs, turning to me with an exasperated sigh. “She used to be my best friend,” she tells me with a sad smile.
“I know. Charlie told me.”
“And you said golf isn’t a sport…” Touching her temple to the side of my jaw, she whispers, “In this place it’s like a hunt. My father used to call it the hunting ground. Anytime he needed to get to someone, he would come here. I’d play golf, and he would hold court.”
There’s a heartbreaking lull to her voice that has me enveloping her in my arms, as tight as I can while we watch Mark and Charlie handle Haas and Kayla. From the way he keeps his distance from her, it’s obvious that they’re not acquaintances. In fact, I’d say he wants to get away from her, and it makes me wonder what he knows about her that has him so on edge around her. Or maybe it’s Mark—he can have that effect on people, too.
“I want to let her rot in the grave she’s dug herself, but I want answers too.”
“Do you trust her?”
“No,” she replies without pause. “But my gut is telling me that she’s the only person who’s going to lead us in the right direction.”
“Mark says your gut is very rarely wrong.”
Looking up at me, she asks, “What do you say?”
“You’re the only thing that matters in all this. You want answers? We’ll find them. You want to walk away? We’ll leave right now.” Tracing down the bridge of her nose with the tip of my finger, I stroke all the way down to her chin, holding it between my thumb and forefinger as I take in the confusion in her eyes. The war between the past, the present, and the future. “I say you call the shots, sweetheart. So what do you want?”
Avery presses impossibly closer as her hands round from the flat of my back to my hips. Without deviating her stare from mine, she replies, “The truth.”
Right there and then, my gut tells me it’s going to hurt. I just wish I knew how.
Chapter Thirty
AVERY
Of course, Kayla gives us nothing concrete. I’ve known her all my life, and I’ve never seen her this scared or paranoid. A part of me feels for her, but then she speaks and that dark lipstick taunts me. Turning my focus to Dr. Haas, I ignore the throbbing of my hand, still pulsing from when I slapped Kayla.
I feel like an idiot for letting my feelings get the better of me. The truth is that I don’t even care about her affair with Carl. In a way she was doing me a favor because every time he fucked her, he left me alone. What bothers me is that our friendship clearly meant so little to her. It’s an absurd catch-22.
“Look,” Haas says as he putts a little too heavily, sending the ball way past
the hole. “The only thing I can tell you is that Robert wasn’t sick. For a man his age, your father was incredibly fit.”
“Then why avoid my calls?” Garrett snaps.
“Because when you’re a physician to some of the nation’s most important people, you do not simply discuss medical records with a cardiologist in Virginia. We have protocols here.”
“Pompous asshole,” Garrett grits out under his breath when Haas walks away to find his ball. “What I find most interesting is that for a man with a clean bill of health, you are the only ones questioning the postmortem.”
With my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach, I try to take in a deep breath before asking him, “So you think it’s wrong?”
Haas takes another putt half-heartedly before looking up at me. With a soft smile, he wanders over to his ball, closer to where we’re standing. Pausing to take measure of the distance to the hole, he leans over his club.
“No, I don’t think the postmortem is wrong.” Coming closer, he adds, “I did find the news somewhat distressing. I saw him a couple of days before he died. He was looking forward to retiring—in fact, all he could talk about was how he was going to make up for all the lost time with his girls.”
Tears fill my eyes because it was something he would tell me all the time, even when things between us got tense. Garrett steps closer to me, brushing the back of his hand over mine. Where most people would smother you with affection, he knows me well enough to understand that it will only serve to break me. And right now, I need to be strong.
“So what do you know that makes you think there’s more to it?” Mark asks. His arms are folded over his chest, bulging through his long-sleeved Henley.
“Because there is more, isn’t there?” Charlie glares between him and Kayla. “It’s why you’re here too, right?”
“No.” Kayla shakes her head, teary gaze flashing to mine before she stares down at her feet and continues. “I’m not here about Robert. He started this even though he knew the fallout it would have.”
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