“What do you want to know?” Sam asks.
“How can I get in touch with Marlo?”
“Something easier,” she says.
“Do you know people who work for her?”
She shrugs. I take that as a yes.
“Do you know of someone named Shephard Sudler?”
She shrugs again. This time I don’t know how to interpret her body language.
“Okay…what can you do for me?” I ask.
Sam takes a deep breath. “Marlo has a lot of people working for her doing a variety of things. I am not aware of everything that she has going on.”
“I…I just need to pay her my mom’s debt and that’s it. Shephard said that her life is in danger. They’re holding her hostage. But I don’t want to pay this money to the wrong person.”
Sam blinks. I’m not getting through.
“You’re the only person I know who actually knows her. I don’t know who to trust,” I say.
“One word of advice,” she says, pointing her finger in my face. “Trust no one.”
I nod, looking down at the floor.
“I just don’t know what to do. He said they would kill her…” My words trail off.
It wasn’t until this moment, standing in this clean sanitized public bathroom that I realize just how much I actually do want to save her life.
When I think of my mother, the memories that flood in aren’t of our fights or all the mean names she has ever called me. It’s the other ones.
It’s waking up to the smell of freshly baked cupcakes one Sunday morning when I was six.
It’s her kneeling down next to my bed with me so that we could pray together for my brother, Patrick, when he was in the hospital.
It’s her running a comb through my hair and then braiding it in a French braid.
“Your mother has been a loyal customer of Marlo’s for a long time now,” Sam says. My eyebrows rise.
“I had no idea,” I say.
“She likes to gamble. And she has won quite a bit. When she’s lost, she has always paid her debts.”
“Do you know where I can find Marlo?” I try again.
“I can’t tell you that,” Sam says.
“What can you do?” I ask.
“I can reach out to Marlo and see what she says.”
She pulls out her phone.
“Now?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“I can wait if you’d like.”
“No, no, no. Of course not,” I quickly correct myself.
“Wait for me outside.” Sam ushers me out of the bathroom.
Two hours after Sam and I part ways, I pace around my living room waiting.
Sam makes the arrangements.
Someone is supposed to come to my house and make the exchange.
I am not entirely clear if my mother is being brought here and suddenly, I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
What if I made a mistake?
What if I should’ve believed her when she told me that I shouldn’t trust anyone?
What if she’s just sending someone here to take my money?
My door buzzes. They’re here.
33
When they come…
Looking through the peephole, I’m unable to believe my eyes. She’s here. She’s really here. A sigh of relief washes over me.
I open the door and shake Marlo’s hand. I’ve never been introduced to her but given how well known she is in the neighborhood I know what she looks like. I’ve never seen her without her entourage, but she’s here alone.
“I’ve heard about your predicament,” she says. “I’m here to confirm that yes, your mother does owe me fifty-thousand dollars.”
Marlo walks around my living room as if she’s my mother-in-law, checking on the quality of my living arrangements. Her stilettos make a loud clinking sound on the parquet floors and she wipes her index finger across the bookshelf in the corner, turning up dust.
“Not much for housekeeping, are you?” she asks.
I shrug.
“Don’t worry, I’m not either. Still, it’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses and to account for them accordingly. That’s why I have a housekeeper come by twice a week.”
I don’t know what to do with this unsolicited piece of advice, so I just smile politely and nod.
She runs her fingers through her ash-blonde hair and then down her neck and over her voluptuous bust. She is one of those people who would exude sexuality even if she were dressed in a potato sack. But dressed in a tailored blazer, dress pants, and a bright pink blouse, Marlo is impossible to dismiss.
“Let’s get right to the point, shall we?” she suggests as if I’m standing here making conversation about the weather. “Your mother, Eleanor Kernes, owes me fifty grand.”
I nod.
“Will you be paying her debt?”
“Yes,” I say. She smiles. “So, where is she?”
Marlo’s face contorts into a question mark.
“You are…holding her somewhere,” I say.
“What are you talking about?” Marlo asks, crossing her arms.
I furrow my brow, trying to figure out if she is just being cautious in case there’s a recording device anywhere in my house, or if she actually doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
“Shephard Sudler, the guy who works for you,” I elaborate. “He came in here and pointed a gun at my face on your behalf.”
“Excuse me?” She takes a step back from me, surprised.
“He said that he’s keeping my mom hostage somewhere, on your behalf, and I had until tonight to pay him.”
Marlo shakes her head, slowly running her tongue over her bright red lips.
“What else did he say?”
“He said he would kill her if I didn’t pay him what she owed.”
“You mean, if you didn’t pay me?” she clarifies.
I shrug. “Yes, I guess.”
Marlo shifts her weight from one foot to another.
“So, why did you seek me out?”
“Because I know that she owes you the money. But I had no idea who Shephard Sudler is. And I wanted to make sure that you were paid so that you would let her go.”
Marlo taps her French-manicured nails on the countertop. Her bracelets jingle with each tap.
“You’ve got yourself a problem,” she says after a moment.
“What do you mean?”
“I have no idea who Shephard Sudler is, but he does not work for me. I also did not authorize anyone to kidnap anyone on my behalf.”
I stare at her, trying to figure out if she’s telling the truth or lying to not incriminate herself.
“Do you have a balcony?” she asks.
“No,” I mumble.
“Rooftop?”
“What?” I ask.
“Does this building have a rooftop? Somewhere private where we can talk?”
I nod.
We take the elevator in silence and she holds the door to the roof open for me.
I follow her to the edge and touch the railing.
Instead of looking out into the distance, she walks up to me and starts to pat me down.
“I need to make sure that what we are about to say stays just between us.”
I lift up my hands and spread my legs and wait for her to finish. I’m a total stranger and I want her to be as candid with me as possible.
“Why did you take her?” I ask. My voice is despondent and tired.
“I didn’t.”
My body perks up.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“What I told you earlier is the truth. I do not know who Shephard Sudler is and I did not authorize anyone to take your mother. She owes me a debt, it’s not due back for another week. Plus, she has been a good customer over the years. I’d give another week if she had asked.”
My mind starts to run in circles.
So, what the hell is going on?
Who is Shephard Sudle
r and where is my mother?
“What would you do then?” I ask.
“I never get anyone’s family involved in their business dealings. My debtors have to come up with the money on their own or else deal with the consequences.”
“I don’t know what’s going on,” I admit.
Marlo narrows her eyes and lights a cigarette. Leaning on the railing, she takes a drag and then turns toward me.
“One option is that this Shephard Sudler found out about your mother’s debt, researched you, found out that you could in fact pay her debt, kidnapped her, reached out to you, and now wants you to pay my debt to him.”
I nod, not really understanding everything.
“But that seems unlikely. If he’s this sophisticated of a criminal, he’d probably know that it is unwise to pretend to work for me and to do business deals on my behalf,” Marlo says, taking another drag.
Making an O with her lips, she lets out her breath in little puffs.
“The other option, and the most likely one, is that your mother is the one who is behind all of this.”
Her words are a punch to the gut.
Even the wind gets knocked out of me.
“She hired some unsuspecting idiot to pretend to be someone who works for me. That guy has no idea who it is that he is impersonating. She wants you to pay her the money that she owes me either to pay off her debt or to just keep it and start a new life somewhere.”
“You really think she made this up?” I ask.
I feel the color draining out of my face.
34
When we talk…
Marlo’s words ping-pong around in my head.
Is she telling the truth?
Is my mom lying?
She has lied about a number of things but never anything this big.
Is she really trying to just steal the money from me? Why?
I told her I would help her.
No, I told her I would help her, but only if she went on the run. If Marlo is telling the truth, then my mother has no intention of going on the run.
“There are two things I can tell you for sure. One is that I did not order anyone to kidnap her or threaten her life. The other thing is that I do not have a Shephard Sudler working for me,” Marlo finishes her cigarette and looks around for somewhere to throw the butt.
“There’s no trash can up here,” I say.
She takes the cigarette butt and tosses it in her purse.
“I never litter,” she says in response to the surprised look on my face. “So, what do you want to do?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You have the money. You can keep it and let Eleanor’s debt ride. I’ll find her on my own, it shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Or?” I ask.
“Or you could pay it off like you wanted to. Unless, this little development changes your mind about whether or not your mother is someone you should help.”
She’s not.
I know that now.
I knew that a long time ago.
But ties with toxic mothers are the most difficult ones to break.
We, their children, can never really fully do it because our mothers never really taught them how to be adults.
We are always looking, striving, seeking that approval that we never got as children.
We don’t trust our strength.
We don’t trust standing on our two feet.
I saw a therapist for over two years to help me come to terms with everything she has put me through. I know all of these things intellectually, but my heart still aches for her.
“You seem like a nice kid, Olive,” Marlo says, walking away from me. We get into the elevator.
“You have a good job. Nice apartment,” she continues. “You seem to have your life in order. Why don’t you just take that money from wherever it is that you got it from and not get involved in your mother’s business?”
I lift up one of my eyebrows.
“Is that your professional opinion?” I ask.
“You could say that.”
The elevator stops on my floor and I invite her inside.
“It’s just for a second,” I say. When the door closes behind us, I ask, “What makes you say that?”
“You don’t look like someone who has an extra fifty grand laying around. It’s probably what you make a year at your job.”
“So?”
“Well, people who have that much aren’t usually particularly generous human beings. I don’t know where you got it but if your mother set you up like this, she’s not worth your time.”
I take a deep breath and walk over to the kitchen island where I hid the envelopes of money. Before opening the drawer, I look at Marlo.
“If I give you this money will you wipe her debt?”
She hesitates.
“She doesn’t owe you another cent,” I say.
“If you hand me fifty-thousand dollars in cash then her slate is clean,” Marlo says with an exasperated sigh.
I hand her the envelopes. She counts the stacks and then points a finger in my face, “You’re too good to her. Some people have to learn the lesson the hard way.”
I feel like I have to explain.
“She’s my mother,” I whisper.
“She fucked you over and she’ll keep doing it until you put your foot down. Trust me. I know. I had a mother just like her.”
Marlo spins on her heels and walks out of the door. I descend onto the sofa wondering if I have made a terrible mistake.
I paid her debt even though she tried to steal from me.
I paid her debt even though she tried to con me.
The thing is that I didn’t do it for her.
I did it for me.
I did it to finally, once and for all, be free of her.
35
When he startles me…
If there is one perk to taking your time unpacking a suitcase, this is it, you don’t have to pack it all up again when you decide to go back.
I throw in a few toiletries that I took out and dress in my favorite pair of leggings and slip-ons.
My ride share should be here in a few minutes, but since I’m all ready to go and it’s a beautiful afternoon, I go to wait outside on the curb.
“Where the hell is my money?” Someone grabs my arm. My body tenses. A couple walks by giving him a disapproving look and he lets me go.
“I had a little chat with Marlo,” I inform him. “She told me you don’t work for her.”
Now, it’s his turn to recoil. This is the last thing he was expecting.
“You’re in a lot of trouble, Shephard Sudler,” I say his name extra loud so that any passerby hears me clearly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Don’t you care about your mother?” he hisses under his breath.
“No, I don’t. I have a feeling that none of what you said to me was true,” I say sternly. “How much did my mom pay you to pretend to work for Marlo? ‘Cause guess what? Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough.”
My words land like a punch.
I smile at my own power.
Then I look out at the cars driving down the street, praying that my ride will be here soon.
Shephard takes a step away from me, at a loss as to what to do next.
“Marlo is a very dangerous woman to fuck around with,” I continue. “She did not like hearing that you were out there using her name to do your bad deeds.”
I watch his Adam’s apple move up and down as he swallows hard.
“Oh, wait, my mother has no money. You probably did it for free, huh?” I ask.
Talking to him like this is a risk. Just because he doesn’t work for Marlo, it doesn’t mean that he wasn’t holding my mother hostage and wanted a ransom to be paid.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to find out the truth about what my mother did but seeing his reactions to my questions, I’m starting to get it.
Marlo was right.
It was my mothe
r who hired Shephard to make the threats.
“Or was she just going to pay you something on the back end?” I ask. “How much exactly?”
Shephard shakes his head and looks down at the ground.
“I’ve never done anything like this before,” he caves. “But I needed money. I got fired and I couldn’t find another job for months. My family is getting evicted and Eleanor said that this would be an easy two grand.”
Shephard stumbles over his words as he talks and I practically feel sorry for him. Then I remember looking down the barrel of that gun he shoved in my face and my pity hardens.
“There’s no such thing as easy money, no matter what anyone says,” I say. “You threatened me. You tried to blackmail me. I could report you to the police…“
“No, please don’t,” he pleads, touching my arm again.
I snap it away from him.
There are tears in his eyes.
“Don’t ever point a gun in anyone’s face like that again. In fact, don’t ever do anything like this again,” I say. “Otherwise, I will go to the cops.”
“Thank you, thank you,” he says over and over, a wave of relief rushing over him.
“But you’ve got bigger problems than the police. My mother got you involved with some really bad people.”
“I thought that Marlo was just someone she…made up.”
I furrow my brow.
How could he be so stupid?
“What do you do for a living?” I ask.
“I’m a bus driver. I drive kids to school. They laid off a number of people and all I can get is a substation gig.”
Then it occurs to me that it’s not that he’s stupid, it’s just that he’s totally out of his element. He has never dealt with the underworld and my mother was selfish enough to put his life and his family’s wellbeing in danger for her own gain.
“Marlo is very much real and she is one of the most powerful people around these parts that you have never heard of. It was more than unwise for you to go out there and pretend to work for her. People have been killed for a lot less.”
I don’t really have any knowledge of this but I get a feeling that it’s probably true. Besides, I need to put the fear of God into this man so that he never messes with my mother again.
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