The Stranger Next To Me

by Vasser, LaShawn

  Tasha sat up. She figured Sabrina would have given up on that getaway with all the problems they’d both been having in their relationships. “I forgot about that. What’s the cancellation policy on it?”

  “On no you don’t. You are not cancelling. This is the first time that we’ve been able to schedule all of us off at the same time. I planned this trip around your schedule.”

  “Sabrina, I don’t remember ever saying yes to going. And, to be perfectly honest, I just don’t know if this is a good time for all of us to be under the same roof anyway.”

  “It seems to never be a good time for you and Eric. And, I was surprised that Tim agreed to go considering he’s still talking about wanting a divorce. Maybe this getaway can be a new start for all of us. Come on…Tim and I have the expenses covered. And, I promise I’ll be friendly-ish to Eric and I’ll do my best to get Tim not to ignore him.”

  Tasha rubbed her forehead. She’d managed to get through a whole year without being in too close a quarters with Tim for any length of time.

  “I still don’t know. I’ll have to talk to Eric about it. You guys have never really gotten along, so I can’t imagine he’ll say yes.”

  Sabrina laughed out loud, “Well…use your gifts! I’m sure if you ask him in the right way he’ll do whatever you say.”

  “Sabrina, you’re making me miss my movie. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Okay, okay…I know when I’m getting the brush off. It’s only nine-thirty maybe I’ll see what kind of trouble I can get into.”

  Tasha just shook her head. Sabrina was never going to change, “You do that.”

  Sabrina was caught off guard. “Hold up? You’re not going to try to talk me out of anything?”

  “Nope. You asked me to stay out of your business remember? And, you’re right. You’re a grown ass woman. So, whatever you do…I hope you stay safe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Tasha hung up the phone.

  Tasha hated when Sabrina tried to guilt trip her into doing something she didn’t really want to do. Most of the time she fell for it. Well, not this time. She was done babysitting. Tasha grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. It was one of her favorite parts of the movie. The main character made passionate love to the woman he loved. Tasha fell asleep dreaming about the one man who’d made her body hum like no one else ever had.

  *****

  It was close to two-thirty in the morning when Eric finally made it home. He was kneeling down next to her when he whispered into her ear. “Tasha…are you awake?”

  She blinked a few times to make sure she wasn’t still dreaming. Breathlessly she answered, “Yes.”

  “Good.” Eric leaned down and kissed Tasha hard on the lips. It wasn’t a gentle kiss but rough and aggressive. It had been awhile since he’d made any attempt to touch her. She wasn’t sure what brought this on but she didn’t’ care. She just wanted to feel connected.

  She tried to kiss him back but he seemed to want to show her he was in control. Tasha got the message loud and clear especially when he bit her on the lip. She could swear that she tasted her own blood when she licked them. Eric climbed on top of her. He was fully clothed when he pushed her legs apart. He pinned her hands above her head so that she was completely at his mercy. He used his other hand to push her underwear down.

  “Say my name Tasha.”

  Tasha closed her eyes trying to pretend that Eric wanted to make love to her. She didn’t know what this escapade was about but it wasn’t about love…or them.

  She did her best to make it sound as if she were into it, “Eric.”

  Eric bit her on the shoulder as he unbuckled his pants and pulled himself out. “Now say it like you mean it.”

  Tasha tried to say it like she meant it and she could have if it wasn’t like this. “Eric.”

  It must have worked because he surged inside of her. It hurt a little since he didn’t spend much time making sure she was ready. He never did.

  He cradled his head in the crook of her neck and shoulder panting hard and smelling of liqueur. He used both of his hands now to make sure hers stayed pinned above her head.

  Eric continued to surge in and out of Tasha; pumping as hard as he could without any care as to if she was enjoying it too. It was obvious that he was just trying to get a release. The only way she could get through this was to pretend he was someone else. Her mind immediately went to Tim. The second she thought of him, her body began to react.

  “Yeah, baby that’s it. I’m almost there.” Eric continued to pound into Tasha. Moments later he grunted and pulled out just before spilling his seed. Then, he collapsed on top of her falling fast asleep.

  Tasha couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Once she knew he was in a deep sleep, she pushed him off and got up to go into the bathroom to get cleaned up. She left him in the living room and went to lay down in her bed, Tasha knew in her heart…this relationship was over.

  Chapter 22

  Jenny had just put the kids down for their afternoon nap. Since Daniel was at the gym, it would be a good time to call Tim. He hadn’t been himself lately. He’d never admit it but Jenny knew that things weren’t good between him and Sabrina.

  Just as she was about to pick up the phone and dial his number, her doorbell rang. She hurried to get to it before whoever it was woke up the kids.

  She peeped through the door to see who it was and couldn’t believe her eyes. Jenny couldn’t open the door fast enough.

  “Tim!” She jumped into his arms like she did when she was a little girl. “What are you doing here? When did you get into town?”

  He was happy to see her too and held her tight. “I’m in town for a couple of days on business and thought I’d drop in to check on my favorite sister and my niece and new nephew.”

  Jenny continued to hold him tightly, “I am so glad you’re here. It’s been too long.”

  Tim laughed out loud, “Yes it has. And…you know I love you but, I can’t breathe.”

  Jenny immediately let him go, “I’m sorry. It’s just…since we missed the family vacation this year, it’s really good to see you. Come on inside, the kids are down for their nap right now and Daniel’s at the gym. Are you hungry? You want something to drink?”

  Tim walked into the house and closed the door behind him. “No. I’m good for right now. We really need to reschedule that vacation even if it’s just you, me and Craig.”

  Jenny looked to the heavens, “I don’t know how the kids would fare without me. Daniel wouldn’t know the first thing to do.”

  There was so much he could have said but Tim decided to just let the remark pass. Instead, he looked around the room. “I like what you’ve done to this room. It’s nice.”

  “It’s my favorite room in the whole house. Right around this time, the sunlight shines at just the right angle through that window and if I sit in the chair you sitting in, it makes me feel…a certain sense of peace that can be difficult to find.”

  “Hmm. Peace, now that’s an interesting concept.”

  Jenny held a sadness in her eyes, “Aww…big brother when you find it there is nothing else like it. Unfortunately, sometimes that chair is the only place I can find it.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Yes. Of course, you can ask me anything.”

  “If that’s the case and after everything you’ve been through with Daniel, why don’t you just leave him?”

  “You don’t know how many times I’ve asked myself that same question. And, I keep coming back to the same answer. He’s the father of my children but more importantly…I still love him.”

  Tim took a deep breath, “I guess love and arrogance can make you do some crazy things. Craig told me some things about myself a few years ago and at the time I thought he was crazy. But, the more I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize he was right.”

  Jenny knew that Tim was about to share some of his inner thoughts. It was a glimpse inside of her strong and powerful brother that she rare
ly got to see. She touched his arm to let him know his thoughts were safe with her. “Right about what?” She waited patiently for him to go on.

  After a few more moments of silence, he spoke. “Craig once told me that I was attracted to beautiful things and because I never looked below the surface that would always get me in trouble. He was right.”

  “We all like beautiful things, Tim. So, how exactly was Craig right?”

  “On the outside my life looks perfect. It looks like I have all the things I’ve ever wanted. Only I’ve come to realize that all the things I thought I wanted, isn’t what I really wanted all.”

  Jenny spoke softly, “Is this about Sabrina?”

  Tim didn’t answer one way or the other. He knew that to say his sister and Sabrina’s relationship was strained was an understatement. Even though he knew the marriage was over, he still almost felt as if it was a betrayal to say as much as he already had.

  “I know that she and I don’t always see eye to eye on a lot of things. But, one thing I hope we have in common is our love for you.”

  “I’m not sure that is something you two have in common.”

  Jenny’s hand moved from his arm to cup the side of his face. “I’m not sure what has happened in your marriage but whatever it is…the answer is always to forgive each other. You’ll find that in order for your relationship to survive you will have to learn to forgive.”

  “What if you just don’t care?”

  “Well, it depends because sometimes I don’t care either. It’s no secret that I’ve had to forgive Daniel a lot. And, I know you all think I’m crazy for staying with him and maybe I am just a tad bit crazy. But, I think marriage is supposed to be forever. Or, at least until you know that you’ve done everything you can to make the marriage work. And, there are moments where I care too much.”

  “I want to be able to lay in bed with my wife at least a couple of nights a week and just watch a tv show. To hold her in my arms and feel like there’s no place I’d rather be. Sometimes, it’s the little things. I’ve also come to realize that she’s not the woman I really want to hold in my arms at night.”

  “I think all relationships go through their down periods. If you hold on long enough you’ll get back to happy.”

  Tim shook his head, “No. I don’t think so. I want a family.” Tim wouldn’t tell his sister that he thought Sabrina had already secretly terminated his child. He was just waiting for confirmation from Felix.

  “Have you talked to her about this?”

  “Not lately. However, I’ve tried to talk to her in the past. Her idea to placate me was to keep me occupied with Tasha.”

  The corners of Jenny’s mouth crept up a little, “Tasha and I got off on wrong foot when we met. She’s definitely a loyal friend. But, we’ve since gotten to know each other a little better. I like her. She’s nice. Why couldn’t you have chosen her? I’ve often wondered what she and Sabrina had in common. They seem so different.”

  Tim rubbed his hand down his face and dropped his head. “They are. Tasha’s pretty amazing.”

  Understanding was starting to dawn on Jenny. She spoke slowly, “Exactly how much time have you spent with Tasha?”

  He sighed deeply, “In the last year, we’ve rarely spent any time together. But, before that too much.”

  She whispered, “You didn’t?”

  He didn’t answer at first. His eyes answered for him. “I did. And, I would do it again if she’d have me. I’ve done everything in my power to suppress my feelings, but…I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with her.”

  “What about Sabrina?”

  “My marriage was a mistake. I was enamored with her beauty and charm at first. But, that’s where it ends. She has nothing to give. I don’t know maybe she just doesn’t have anything else to give me. But, none of the things that are important to me are important to her. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out why I’m still in this marriage.”

  “So, why are you?”

  “I promised Tasha that I would try to make my marriage work. The problem is even if I weren’t in love with her…I would still want a divorce. I don’t feel anything for Sabrina. Not even anger or frustration. I don’t feel anything.”

  “Then, why did you promise her that?”

  “At the time, I couldn’t stand to see the hurt, shame, and guilt on her face. I knew she would feel responsible for the demise of my marriage.”

  “Well, she did sleep with her best friend’s husband. I would say that would count as having a small bit of responsibility.”

  “It wasn’t like that. We didn’t plan for it to happen. My marriage to Sabrina would have crumbled anyway. I don’t think I was ever truly in love with her.”

  Jenny rolled her eyes, “If I had a dollar for every time Daniel has said that to me, we’d be able to buy a third world country. I know that you’re hurting and I’m not trying to rub salt in the wound, but what the hell, Tim? You’re a handsome man and could probably have any woman you wanted yet, you chose to sleep with her best friend.”

  “Jenny I swear, I didn’t see this coming. I’ve never been unfaithful to anyone I’ve ever been in a committed relationship with in my life. It’s just…we kept being put in these situations where we were able to really get to know each other. I don’t even remember the moment it turned into anything else. I just remember one day we were having a snow ball fight and I wanted to kiss her.”

  “Did you?”

  “No.”

  “This is really a mess.”

  “I know. But, I came to you because you’ve been through a lot in your marriage. Yet, you continue to try to make it work. I was hoping you would say something that would make me rethink everything.”

  “Did I?”

  “Yes. You actually helped provide me with some clarity. I don’t understand why you love him but you’re with Daniel because you do. What I felt for Sabrina wasn’t love. It was lust pure and simple. Lust won’t sustain a marriage.”

  The sound of cries coming from the baby monitor interrupted their conversation. Jenny pulled Tim into a tight embrace and held him for a few seconds before she went to go get the baby, “I’ll support you no matter what. You know that right? I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Chapter 23

  It wasn’t often that Tasha came home early from work, but after her weekend she just couldn’t handle a full day on Monday. Eric would be at work and that would give her time to get herself together.

  His excuse for what happened between them over the weekend was that he’d had too much to drink. Eric could be insensitive, but Friday night’s episode hurt her to her core.

  The guilt she carried for not truly being able to love him kept her from ending the relationship. If she tried harder maybe things would be different.

  She and Eric hadn’t spoken much since Friday, but she did tell him that if their relationship was going to survive, they would need to get some counseling.

  Tasha put the key into her door and opened it. She was more than surprised to find boxes strewn all over the place. She was even more surprised to see Eric walk out of the bedroom carrying a box.

  “What’s going on? What are you doing?”

  “The inevitable.”

  “I thought we agreed to get some help?”

  Eric put the box down, “Come on Tasha, do you really think counseling is going to help us?”

  “It might. Shouldn’t we at least try?”

  “Tasha, we’ve spent more than three years pretending that this relationship is what we both want. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of pretending.”

  Tasha sat down on the couch, “I didn’t know you were pretending.”

  “Strange, because I knew you were. A man can tell when he touches his woman when she doesn’t want to be touched. Or, pretending he’s someone else.”

  “Eric, I wasn’t…”

  He shook his head, “Don’t. Don’t lie because honestly there were times when I
was pretending that you were someone else too.”

  Tasha didn’t know what to say.

  “Look, I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of all of it. I want to be happy and I haven’t been for a long time. One of us has to be honest about what’s really going on between us.”

  She still couldn’t say anything. Her silence seemed to make Eric more frustrated. “I didn’t expect you to come home this early today. I’d hoped to have all of this done before you got here.” Eric put his hands on his hips, “You know…I think it’ll probably be best if I finish up tomorrow.”

  Eric walked over to where he’d put a couple of duffle bags and picked them up. “I’ll call you later so we can sort out the other stuff.” He then walked toward the door but stopped and turned around,

  “Tasha…if it weren’t for him we may have stood a chance. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and I’ve seen the way you look at him. You might want to think about trying to figure that out before you get involved with someone else.” Eric let his words hang in the air for a second or two before he walked out of the door.

  *****

  Tasha hadn’t been able to put together one coherent thought since Eric walked out of the door. She was numb. And, for the next several hours, she just sat on the couch and stared out into space.

  She heard someone knocking on her door but it was as if she were having an outer body experience. She heard it but couldn’t move. So, she just stared at it.

  “Tasha Stevens, I know you’re in there. You can’t ignore me because I saw your car in the parking lot. Come on open up the door. I hope you’re not doing anything you don’t want me to see because I’m coming in.”

  Sabrina turned the knob. It was unlocked so she walked inside.

  “What the hell? What’s up with all of these boxes? Are you going somewhere and didn’t tell me?” Sabrina walked over to where Tasha was sitting then she looked around the room and back at her friend.

  “My god that asshole left you.”