“Nooooo!” Alex shouted in horror.
Chapter 8
The cloud dissipated, and the vision of Robin Hood within disappeared. “Wait, where is he going?” Alex asked in a panic.
Tinker Nell dropped to the ground, her light almost extinguished. Breathless, she murmured, “Your wish was granted. You asked for the location of Robin Hood.”
Alex dropped to a knee beside Tinker Nell. “Please! They took my son. Where is Robin Hood taking him?”
Tinker Nell’s gaze fell to the ground. “Only one wish. Besides, you more than anyone should know the answer.”
“I don’t. Please tell me.”
Her energy exhausted, Tinker Nell laid her head down. “Only one wish.”
Alex stood up, disgusted. “Everyone was right about you. You are a witch.”
Tinker Nell pulled herself back into her shack as Alex sprinted away towards the beanstalk. Inside her hovel, Tinker Nell sat alone at her kitchen table with an even bigger scowl than before.
Bill ambled up to her window.
“Change your mind about the sundae?” Tinker Nell asked.
“Why not grant his wish?” Bill asked in a wispy voice, and since he’d walked all this way, he grabbed the sundae and dug in.
“He’s had plenty of wishes granted. And this place isn’t the only thing losing its magic.” Tinker Nell studied her crooked wand. “I just hope we’re safe up here.”
“Safe from what?” Bill asked as he chomped on the cherry.
An army of fierce Greek soldiers marched across the land, and a colossal inferno followed them, scorching everything in its wake. One soldier carried the Greek standard, with the blue and white cloth flapping in the wind. Another held a massive boom box above his head. A thundering beat with a heavy bass blared from its speakers. Every third beat of the music, the troops shouted out, “Achi-lles.”
All the hoopla was for the soldier leading the army, who stood a foot taller than the rest. A virtual grizzly bear covered in armor, he wielded a menacing sword that had been the end to countless men. This was the mighty Achilles. He reveled in the fear he instilled and attention he commanded. Every time his men shouted his name, he flexed his giant pecs with delight.
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles.”
Flex. Flex.
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles.”
Flex. Flex.
As the army marched to the beat of this monotonous tune, a common foot soldier whispered to the soldier beside him, “How much longer do we have to sing this? It’s not even a song.”
The other soldier kept his eyes straight ahead, scared to do anything other than shout with the rest of the men.
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles.”
Achilles stopped flexing his chest, which seemed to disrupt the rhythm of the marching army. He slowed his march until he walked right beside Yannis, the complaining soldier, who swallowed hard.
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles,” the soldiers shouted, but with less vigor.
Achilles stopped and the soldier with the boom box flipped it off. The army fell silent.
Everyone stared at Achilles, then at Yannis.
In a flash, Achilles’s sword flew out of its sheathe and swung at Yannis’s neck, but stopped with just the tip touching the skin. “You don’t like my theme song, Yannis?”
Yannis gulped. “It’s magnificent. I can’t get it out of my head. Achi-lles,” he sang with a forced smile and prayed Achilles would show mercy.
With one hand, Achilles lifted Yannis up by the chiton so they were nose-to-nose. His eyes flashed, and his nostrils flared. “Everyone will know the name of Achilles,” he said before tossing Yannis to the ground. “And today, they will.” He pointed his sword towards a glistening white castle in the distance and then motioned for the army to resume the march. Yannis scurried to his feet and fell back in line, grateful to be alive.
“Shall I play the Achilles song again, sir?” the boom box soldier asked.
Even mighty warriors have feelings, and Achilles now worried about his song. Maybe it wasn’t any good. The greatest fighter on the planet deserved nothing less than the best theme song. He considered his options, then responded, “When we’re at the castle, Nikos. For now, play me some Chumbawumba.”
The eyes of the men lit up. There was a god.
Back at the base of Mount Drudgery, Alex climbed down the last of the beanstalk at an amazing rate. When he reached the bottom, he hopped off, jumped onto his horse, and raced back towards Camelot. Alex pushed the silver stallion hard as dawn broke.
The trail ahead forked in different directions. Alex yanked on the reins and stopped the exhausted horse. He pulled out the map with the various franchise locations, but it may as well have been in Greek. He turned it sideways, then turned it again. Alex was lost.
“Alright, only one thing left to do.” Alex put the map down and alternated pointing at the two trails. “Eanie, meanie, mynie... mo.”
He put the map away and spurred Silver down the ‘mo’ trail. Before long, a castle came into view in the distance.
“Bingo,” Alex shouted, but his enthusiasm tempered by the haunting beat that filled the air.
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles,” the army shouted and marched towards the castle’s gates.
“I’m too late,” Alex said in a panic. He hopped off and guided the horse into the trees, maneuvering himself as close as he could to see the action unfold.
From atop the walls, citizens watched with dread. One young child wailed and clutched her mother’s arm. “Momma, make the bad sounds stop.”
Boom, boom.
“Achi-lles,” the monotonous chant continued.
Nauseating fear settled in the pit of Alex’s stomach as the terrifying Achilles stepped forward and called to the castle inhabitants. “Send down your best warrior to face me. If he defeats me, my army withdraws. If I win, surrender, and I’ll spare your women and children.”
One guard called down, “First, you must stop that song.”
Yannis shouted from the ranks, “We accept your terms!”
Achilles side-eyed Yannis, then waved his hand with a slicing gesture across his neck. The boom box shut off, and the army fell silent.
After a moment, the castle gate opened and out stepped Sir Percival. “I am the owner of this franchise, and I will defend it.”
Alex couldn’t help himself from breathing a sigh of relief. This wasn’t Camelot. He turned the horse around, but then stopped. He needed to see how the battle played out.
Sir Percival was every bit as large as Achilles. It looked like an even match until it started. Percival charged and swung his giant broadsword. Achilles caught the blade and planted his foot in Percival’s chest, sending him flying backward without his weapon. Already out of breath, Percival swung his fist with all his might. Achilles ducked and countered with a thunderous uppercut that knocked Percival on his back. Achilles drew his sword.
With death coming, Percival crawled back to the castle gate and banged with his fists. “Let me in. Let me in!”
The gate opened, and Percival scurried inside.
Achilles looked on with disgust and called out to the castle. “This is your champion?”
Alex couldn’t watch anymore. He galloped off as the people of Percival’s franchise fled out the back gate of the castle.
After backtracking to the fork in the trail, Alex spurred his horse down the other trail. He drove the animal hard until he sped through Camelot’s gates and into the main courtyard amidst a bustle of activity. The entire kingdom was on alert, battening down storefronts and raising weapons to the top of the outer walls.
Inside the castle, King Arthur forlornly paced the hallways before pausing at an empty pedestal outside the chapel. The pedestal had an inscription that read “The Magician.” He knelt down at its foot and looked up as if someone were there. “I don’t know if you’re still around. Sometimes it feels like you
aren’t. You told us Camelot would be better if we followed your rules. If you’re listening, we need you.”
Back in the Van Owen mansion, Lloyd strolled down the hallway and peeked into Alex’s bedroom, only to find it empty. He drifted down to Sean’s room and discovered the same thing. The open back door, swaying in the breeze, caught his attention. Lloyd stepped to the doorway and peered into the night.
Deep from within the forest, a voice screamed, “Help!”
Lloyd didn’t hesitate and ventured out into the darkness. When he reached the trees, he pushed twigs out of his face and stumbled forward until he found himself in the clearing with the ominous cabin. He rushed to the cabin’s door and stopped. At his feet, the wind blew the pages of the book, Legends and Fairy Tales, that Sean dropped.
Chapter 9
Out of breath, Alex raced into the castle to find King Arthur, who still prayed at the pedestal of The Magician. “How could you let them steal Sean?”
“I’m sorry. They took Lady Guinevere too.”
“We have to get them back,” Alex said.
“Did you find Robin’s camp?” Arthur asked.
Alex shook his head.
“Then there is no hope of finding them... or of stopping Achilles. His army will be here in a day at most.” King Arthur’s voice dropped almost to a whisper. “We must evacuate Camelot.” Arthur left Alex to inform the citizens.
Frustrated, Alex rushed to Sean’s bedroom and ransacked it, hoping to find a clue or anything to help him find Sean. His exchange with Tinker Nell kept playing in his mind.
“Where is Robin Hood taking him?” he asked.
Tinker Nell replied, “You more than anyone should know the answer.”
How did Alex have the answer? In a flash, Alex froze in his tracks as the light bulb went on in his head. Alex flew out of the castle and into the courtyard. He leapt atop Silver, kicked his heels, and the animal shot off like a rocket, leaving a cloud of dust.
Alex turned down a trail marked by a rickety wooden sign that read “Sherwood Forest.” As he rode deeper into the forest, there was nothing but more and more trees. The ground became soggier, and he came upon the marshy swamps of Nottingham—back where he started this journey.
Something stirred in the bushes. Alex panicked until John Littleman emerged with a handful of turnips.
“John, John! I need your help. I have to find Robin Hood. He stole my son.”
“Oh, that’s awful, lad,” John said.
“Do you know where his hideout is?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. ‘Tis quite a long journey, though,” John said with an apologetic frown.
“I thought he lived in Sherwood,” Alex replied.
“Only until Sheriff Big Britches kicked him out. He moved as far away as he could after that.”
“All right, just tell me.”
John pointed west. “It’s a two-day ride to the coast. There you’ll find a seaport run by a salty old captain named Hook.”
“Don’t tell me, he has a hook for a hand.”
“Not anymore. He stopped wearing it to improve his image so he could get promoted to harbormaster. Anyway, Hook can help arrange passage to the Isle of Gingerbread. Next, go into the caves of despair, where you’ll travel down to the center of the earth. There you’ll find Robin of the Dark Hood casting all manner of spells.”
Alex scratched his head, confused. “Are you sure?”
John nodded. “Positive, me own cousin’s been there and seen him.”
“Thank you so much, Little John—” Alex winced at the embarrassing slip of the tongue. “Sorry.”
“Happens all the time.” John continued on down the trail.
Alex hopped back on his horse and rode off in a flurry, but then pulled up on the reins. “Little John? Little John is Robin Hood’s friend.”
Alex jumped off Silver and tied him to a tree. He crept through the forest until he fell in behind Little John, careful to keep a safe distance.
Little John pushed deeper into the forest’s darkest parts and descended into a valley blanketed in fog. He passed a dilapidated wooden fence with a beat-up sign that read “Sir Galahad’s Camelot.” It was a far cry from the splendor of Camelot. Thatched huts filled with laughing families lined the streets. Alex slipped through the unguarded gates because who’d want to break into this place? The fog also helped, as it limited visibility.
Alex snuck further into the compound when a pair of merry men laughed and drifted closer. Panicked, Alex ducked between two huts. The voices moved closer, so he pressed deeper into the village. One of the larger shacks had a loose board, which he pried up and slipped in. Though nondescript from the outside, the shack’s interior housed an amazing assortment of weapons, artwork, and other valuables. Alex marveled at the priceless treasures interspersed with personal mementos. Searching the contents, he came upon a suit of armor and a fake beard—the outfit worn by Sir Galahad. He moved on to a horse that stood frozen in a catatonic state. Alex snapped his fingers in front of the animal. No response. Behind the horse, he found Lady Guinevere in the same frozen condition. Alex’s jaw dropped when he looked to her right.
It was Sean.
Chapter 10
Alex rushed over and hugged Sean tighter than he’d ever held him before, but Sean didn’t react. His arms remained at his side, and he stared straight ahead.
“Sean, Sean! Wake up! We need to get out of here.”
Sean didn’t move a muscle, not even a blink.
Alex heaved Sean over his shoulder and grabbed a sword for defense on his way out of the shack. Under cover of fog, he moved through the street, inching his way toward freedom while struggling under the weight of his son. Just as he reached the outer gate, an arrow zipped out of the mist, striking a tree next to him.
“That’s far enough,” a deep voice called out.
Alex put Sean down and turned toward the sound of the voice. In the dense fog, a silhouette emerged in a dark green hooded cape. The clothes were so dark they were almost black. It was Robin of the Dark Hood.
Alex brought his sword to the ready.
Robin laughed and disappeared into the mist. An instant later, an arrow flew from a different angle but struck the same spot. Then another, and another.
“You can’t beat me,” Robin taunted.
“I did once already, ‘Sir Galahad.’”
“Do you really think Robin Hood would lose an archery contest? I let you win… but not this time.”
“Then I’ll die trying.” With reckless abandon, Alex swung in the voice’s direction, hitting only air.
Out of the fog, Robin Hood punched Alex, knocking the sword from his hand. Defenseless, Alex rushed back to Sean, who remained lifeless.
Robin Hood emerged from the mist. “Ready to surrender?”
“Never,” Alex scowled.
“What happened to you?” Robin asked. “I remember when we used to ride into battle together.”
“What are you talking about?” Alex held up his fists, ready for a fight.
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
Alex didn’t.
“When you were younger… much younger, you were so bright-eyed and full of imagination. Why do they always lose that when they grow up?” Robin asked, wistful.
“What about you? You used to steal from the rich to give to the poor.”
“My reasons haven’t changed. I steal from those that take for granted what they have. The rich used to be the only ones.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ll show you.” Robin waved his hand across the ground and back into his “franchise.”
Alex considered the invitation. Maybe it was a trap. Maybe he’d soon be in the catatonic state as Sean. With little choice, Alex picked up his son, cradled him in his arms, and followed Robin into the village.
Robin led him back into the shack with the stolen items. As soon as they entered, Robin pointed to a beautiful chestnut mare. “That prized horse b
elonged to the Sheriff of Nottingham. She’s not been ridden for three seasons. He was too busy with his real estate ventures.” Robin pointed at Guinevere. “King Arthur went two weeks without even speaking to Lady Guinevere because he was helping Lancelot launch his franchise.” He motioned to a beautiful handmade lute—the medieval equivalent of a guitar. “That belonged to a man—a commoner according to the size of his wallet, but his talent as a musician was anything but common. He was too busy trying to get rich to notice I took it.”
Alex held up Sean. “Then why did you steal my son! I’ve never taken him for granted.”
“You’ve never put work ahead of your time with him?” Robin asked.
“That wasn’t a choice. It was an obligation.”
“Debatable, but what is not is the fact that you want to make him something he’s not. Is that not taking him for granted?”
Alex wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. Robin was right.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve shown that you will do anything to get him back.” Robin waved his hand over Sean’s face and snapped his fingers.
Sean blinked and glanced around, confused.
“Sean!” Alex lifted Sean and gave him a giant hug. “I’ll never let anything happen to you again.”
“That may be a hard promise to honor,” Robin said. “Achilles nears.”
Alex put Sean down. “You summoned him. Can’t you call him off?”
“You think I brought Achilles?” Robin asked, shocked and insulted. “I don’t know where he came from.”
“Then why are you weakening Camelot’s defenses by stealing their weapons?” Alex motioned to the assortment of weapons, including Excalibur.
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