by Lauren Dane
Tate stood in the kitchen, she hadn’t noticed him just yet. Usually the moment he entered a room she alerted to his presence, their gazes meeting until they could make physical contact. He’d noticed her stress level had ramped up in the last two months but it didn’t seem to have anything to do with their relationship. Still it made him nervous that something was clearly going on and she wouldn’t share it.
Stress marked her face as she listened to her sister.
“They’re books I need for this stupid final paper. I won’t get the second part of my student loan money until January. I know five hundred dollars is a lot of money but I’ll get it right back to you when I get the check.”
“You’ll have to give me a day or two. I don’t have it right now. I have to move some money around.”
Matt stilled. She hadn’t said a damned thing to him about money trouble. They’d just paid off part of the renovation that they couldn’t do themselves, several thousand dollars’ worth. He’d wanted to pay it all himself but she wouldn’t hear of it. So he’d told her it was much less than it truly was and taken on a far larger share without her knowing it. The last thing he wanted her to deal with was money trouble.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Tate, let me talk to Tim. I didn’t know and I haven’t even asked him yet. I just came to you and that’s silly of me. You shouldn’t be expected to do it all, all the time,” Jill said.
And Matt agreed with that wholeheartedly although he’d never voice that to her. He knew what it meant to take care of family and so he never second-guessed how she dealt with hers.
“Can it not wait a day?” Tate sounded testy and it took him aback. She never spoke to her siblings like that unless they were fighting or nagging her about something.
“Sure. Tate, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you upset.” Jill wrung her hands and Tate saw it, pulling her sister into a hug.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I snapped at you and I’ve always told you and Jacob to come to me if you needed stuff for school. If you need it today, I’ll give you my credit card number and you can charge the books that way. If it can wait until tomorrow, I’ll get you cash.”
Damn it. There was something wrong and she wasn’t telling him. He turned before she saw him, catching Nathan’s and Tim’s eyes, motioning them outside.
“What’s up?” Tim said as they walked out onto the front porch.
Matt told them what he’d heard.
Nathan ran a hand through his hair. “She takes on too much. I can swing the books no problem. I’ll talk to Jill and Jacob, tell them to speak to Tim, me or William before going straight to Tate.”
“It’s more than that.”
Both men looked to Tim.
“What do you mean?”
“Two weeks ago I saw her walking downtown, my father was headed in the opposite direction. Then I stopped in to get a haircut and I’d forgotten my lunch at home. Tate told me she’d loan me a ten to grab lunch but she had no cash in her purse. She got all weird about it. And with the first installment of the tuition this semester, she had to juggle for an extra few days. She wasn’t late, but she’s usually early and this time it was exactly on the day it was due.”
“What the hell is happening and how is this connected to your…are you telling me he’s working her for money?” Matt’s anger simmered.
“It wouldn’t be the first time. You know she paid him to let us take the kids when we first moved out. And over the years she’s given him money. We all have I suppose but about five years ago he and I got into it and he won’t come around anymore. He threatened Susan. Of course now apparently he’s focused on Tate.”
“And my guess is that Tate is taking this all and keeping it quiet to protect the rest of us.” Nathan began to pace.
“I’ll talk to Tate.”
Nathan and Tim looked at him, pity in their faces.
“What?”
“Matt, you’re hers now as much as we are. She’ll protect you just like she’s doing us. She’s not going to tell you anything.”
“I’m not playing this game.” He leaned in and called to her. Surprised, she looked up and came toward him, the stress on her face smoothing as she got closer.
“Hi, whatcha all doing out here?” She joined them on the porch.
“Talking.”
Her back straightened and one brow rose. “Want to enlighten me or is this a guessing game?”
“What’s going on with your money situation, Tate?”
She took a step back and looked to her brothers who tried to keep stoic and tough but it didn’t last long.
“My money situation? What do you mean exactly?”
“You know, I go out of my way to be honest with you, Tate. I know you’re having money problems and so do Nathan and Tim. Tell us what’s happening so we can help.”
“Oh, you mean like how you told me Melanie came onto you at The Sands before the Grange dance when you were having lunch with Justin and some guys from work? Or about how you nearly got into a fight two weeks ago at the post office when you got lip from someone about me? Honest like that?”
Hell. How did she do that? Did Tim just chuckle? He glanced over and saw nothing but he suspected the line of Tim’s lips might have curved up ever so slightly.
“That’s different.” He folded his arms over his chest.
“Is it now? How so?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake! Knock it off. You’re trying to muddy the waters, Tate. Give him a break. What is going on?” Nathan interrupted.
Damn, she had been. She was good, almost as good as Polly Chase. He’d let her push the argument away from the subject.
“Traitor. My money problems are no one’s business. I just had a lot of stuff come down at once and I got a little overextended. It’s not a big deal. In a few weeks everything will be fine.”
“What’s Dad’s role in this?”
Matt had almost believed her story about a temporary problem until he saw her reaction. Her eyes darted away from Tim quickly and he saw her fists clench for a moment and then she smoothed them down the front of her pants.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Bullshit. Don’t lie to me on this, Tate. He’s working you for money, isn’t he?” Nathan stood closer to her, grabbing her shoulders and Matt wanted to intercede but he saw it was necessary, saw Tate would protect them all unless she was made to reveal the whole story.
“It’s none of your business!”
Her raised voice brought Anne out onto the porch and when she saw the scene she intervened. “Nate! Get your hands off her.”
“Dad is working her for money. Has been for a while. Long enough that she’s having trouble paying her bills on time.” Nathan said it without taking his eyes from Tate’s and Matt’s simmering rage began to bubble.
Anne closed the door behind her and approached Tate, moving Nathan aside. “Honey, is that true?”
Tate’s bottom lip trembled a bit but she didn’t say anything.
“This is stupid.” Matt grabbed her hand and spun her, putting her up on the porch rail so they’d be eye to eye. “You’re going to share this with me, Tate Murphy because I love you and we cannot have this between us. That’s what he wants. I won’t let anyone hurt you, you have to know that.”
“None of us is going to let you off this porch until you tell us what’s going on,” Anne added from behind them.
A tear broke lose from her eye and rolled down her cheek and he hated making her so upset. “It’s nothing,” she whispered.
“It’s everything, Tate. Tell me. Share your burden with us. We love you.”
She took a deep breath and told them. Told them everything from the first night until the last demand for payment of a thousand dollars.
“I couldn’t have him harming you or the kids. Everyone was finally living normal, happy lives and I wasn’t going to let him upset that. I’m not sorry!” Her chin jutted out and he shook his head, kissing it.
“You’ve ha
d this weighing on you for five months now. Oh Venus, honey, no one should have to bear that alone. I’ve asked you if something was wrong and you told me no. Didn’t you trust me?”
“It’s not about that.”
But in a way it was. She hadn’t trusted him not to run off when faced with her father and that hurt.
He helped her down and kissed her. “I thought we’d worked through that. I thought you’d trust me to stand by you, to protect you.”
“I do trust you, Matt. I just…the thought of him showing up at one of your mother’s Sunday dinners, of what he is touching that just…I didn’t want that to ruin what we have.”
Her voice was quiet, but hurt that she didn’t come to him still seeped into his gut. She’d been terrorized by this jerk and she hadn’t thought enough of him to seek his help. Hadn’t trusted their love and his commitment to her that he’d protect her.
“I have to go for a while. I’m hurt, Tate. I’m hurt you didn’t trust me to stand by you.”
“You’re leaving?” Her voice sounded small.
“Not forever. I need to think. I’ll be back.” He went to his truck and as he pulled from the driveway he tried not to be affected by her face as she stood there, watching him drive away.
Matt sat at a table in The Pumphouse when Nathan stalked in. He picked up the beer and tossed it in Matt’s face.
Shocked, Matt stood. “What the hell?”
“You asshole. You begged her to open up to you and when she did, you threw it in her face. You proved her right. You dumped my sister for sharing with you. Bravo. She’s never, ever opened up that way to anyone before. I actually encouraged her to do it. I’m a fucking fool and you’re an asshole. Your shit will be out on the street by nine tonight so don’t bother my sister to come inside to get anything.” Nathan spun to leave but Matt grabbed him.
“Wait! I didn’t dump her. I just needed some time away from home. I’m not moving out!”
“Yes you are. Leave her alone, Matt. You blew it.”
“That’s my fucking house! You can’t tell me what to do. Tate is my woman. I get that you’re her brother and all but this isn’t your business.”
“It’s my business when I have to listen to her cry. It’s my business when she blames me for making her tell you something she didn’t want to tell you to begin with because she wanted to protect you and the rest of us. You promised her you wouldn’t let anyone hurt her and you did it yourself.”
Matt reached out to grab his arm when Nate turned to leave again and Nathan shoved him back. “Don’t touch me, asshole. I thought you’d be good for her. But you’re just like the rest of them.”
Shane came in and quickly moved to them. “What the hell is going on? Cassie called me and said Tate is holed up in her bedroom and her family is packing up your stuff. You broke up with her? Are you out of your mind?”
“Packing my stuff? I didn’t break up with her! Why won’t anyone believe me? Jesus! She holds on to this fucking horrible shit with her father for five months! She thinks I’d just walk away from her if her father showed up at my doorstep? How much trust does that show? Am I never allowed to feel anything? Only Tate gets to feel pain now? She didn’t trust me to stand by her.”
“No one ever has!” Nathan yelled it so loud and his words were so filled with emotion that everyone who hadn’t already been watching the scene unfold stopped and turned.
“Yes, she should have told you. She should have told all of us but you can’t know what it cost her to keep it to herself. Have you thought of that? How alone she must have felt as he terrorized her?”
Nathan took a step back and sneered at him. “Damn you, Matt Chase. This isn’t about you, not in the way you think. I got more out of her, she’s paid him seven thousand dollars. Why? Because she adores you. She loves you and she wanted to protect you and your family from the sickness we’ve had to endure our whole lives. From the shame of what we come from. Probably part of it was she was worried that when you were confronted with the reality of Bill Murphy you’d walk away. And until you’ve spent ten minutes with him, you can’t possibly understand what a powerful motivator that is. He’s…” Nathan shuddered in disgust, “…he’s a horrible man. He’s poisonous. She wanted to shield you from him. And not just you, he used everyone she wanted to protect, our nieces and nephew too because William and Tim are the ones other than her hurt the worst by my father. This isn’t about her not trusting you, it’s about her protecting you. That’s what Tate does in case you hadn’t bothered to notice.”
Matt’s head spun. He didn’t know what to think. There was no question he loved Tate. He hadn’t broken up with her, he just needed some damned time away to nurse some hurt feelings.
“She sold a bracelet I gave her two years ago to send Jill spending money. She dipped into savings to pay for the renovation but didn’t want to take more because it’s where she keeps the money for their tuition and any other emergencies. So feel your pain, Matt. You go ahead on. She told you she was broken at the very beginning and she is. But you’re wrong to turn this and make it about you.”
Nathan moved to leave but it was Shane who stopped him this time, looking back at Matt, who had to grab a chair as he took in the words.
“I’m not moving out. You can bet on that, Nathan. When I get back, Tate and I will work this out. This is not about you.”
“Fuck you, Chase. For the better part of my life Tate took responsibility for me. Paid my father hush money so my siblings and I could live safely and be fed. That’s why we’re always at her house. She feeds us emotionally and physically. There’s never a bare pantry at Tate’s house, not in her heart or in her kitchen. This is about me because Tate is about me. Tate is more of a mother to me than the woman who gave me birth. I owe Tate everything I am and I won’t stand by and let anyone hurt her. Not my father and certainly not you. Get out of my way Sheriff Chase unless you plan to arrest me.”
Shane sighed and moved to the side. “Nathan, don’t do this. Tate needs Matt, she loves him and he loves her. You know that. I know you’re upset but you have to let them work things out.”
Nathan said nothing more but left The Pumphouse.
“Whatcha gonna do?” Shane looked down at Matt.
“I’m going to go home and kick people out. Tate and I need to fix this without an audience.”
“I’ll go with you. I don’t think it’s going to be as easy as you think.” Shane rode over with Matt.
“I just needed some damned time to nurse some hurt feelings. I didn’t tell her I was breaking things off. I told her I’d be back,” Matt explained to his brother after he’d told him about the payoffs.
“I understand why you’d be hurt, Matt. And I think Tate does too. But you’re going to have trouble getting past her siblings who’re all going to gang up to protect her from any perceived threat, you included. We’d do it in their place. I see their perspective very well. Cassie told me Tate walked past her and into her bedroom after you left, like there was nothing left to her.”
“Damn it. Okay, okay. I shouldn’t have left but…”
“But you felt like a failure for not protecting her. So you gathered up all your righteous indignation that she hadn’t told you so you didn’t have to feel like you’d failed the person who matters most.”
Matt licked his lips as he turned down their street. “Yes. Shane, she’s so small, she’s mine to protect and cherish and I didn’t. And she didn’t trust me to.”
“Do you really think that? Do you really think this was about her not trusting you to protect her? I’m not saying you don’t have the right to be mad that she kept it to herself, I see why you are. But it’s who she is. She’s going to choose to take on burdens to protect people she loves. You knew that going in, Matt. If you can’t handle that or this messed up family situation get out now. It’s unfair to keep going with this relationship if something like this is enough to break you up.
“Worse things will happen. Loving someone means
they can get to you in ways no one else can. There are going to be times you’re so pissed off at her you want to rip your hair out, where you have to leave before you say something that’ll hurt her. But you do leave, or you do take a deep breath and go get a soda because you’d rather hold back than harm her. That’s what love is. And until I was with Cassie, no one meant that much to me other than my family.”
“I don’t want to leave her. I love her. I love being with her. I don’t know what to think or feel or do. I’ve never felt so fucking scared in my life other than when I first got to the hospital in July when that bastard put her there. I wanted to be the one she turned to, the strong one. And when she did turn to me I ran. Fuck.”
Shane snorted softly. “You’ll both get over it. You’ll work it out and the next fight y’all have you won’t turn tail, although you’ll make new mistakes because that’s the way of it. It’s not earth shattering. You had a fight. It happens. Now go in there and fix it because make up sex is the best.”
Laughing, Matt pulled into the driveway and saw boxes of stuff stood on the porch and Tim sat out there with Beth.
“You need to grab your shit and go. We’ll pay you back for the renovation when we can.” Tim blocked the door.
“This is my house. I’m going in, Tim.”
“No you’re not. You’ve done enough damage.” Beth shook her head at him.
“You’re just making things worse. Come on, you know I love Tate. This is a huge overreaction.”
“Overreaction? And you’d know this because you saw the damage you did first hand? Oh, no you couldn’t have because you were off at your little bar drinking and looking at chicks.” Beth’s eyes narrowed.
“I wasn’t looking at anyone. I’d never do that to Tate, and I’m not interested in looking at other women. Don’t mistake me for your father either. I had a beer, most of it I didn’t drink because Nathan tossed it in my face.”