“Alex told me that you were on your way back; I would’ve texted you earlier but…”
“Why didn’t you, then? What’s going on? Why are your bags out there?” I ask, sounding as confused and frustrated as I feel.
He sighs. I hate that sigh; the sigh is my enemy. “I’ve been thinking and Tessie, maybe, maybe your dad’s right. Maybe I manipulated you into taking me back because I thought that if I gave you time, if I gave you the summer, you would change your mind. If I leave right now, you can make your decision without having me pressuring you all the time.”
I gape at him for a few seconds before complete fury overtakes me. I’m sick and tired of people thinking that they know what’s best for me. My parents and now him, they all feel like they’re freaking mind readers and that, somehow, they have the godforsaken power to tell me how I feel or, rather, how I should feel. Well, guess what? I’ve had enough.
Trying to restrain myself and not throw something at him, I try to focus on getting my temper under control so things don’t spiral completely out of control.
“Why are you so convinced that I’m an idiot?” He opens his mouth to object but I stop him. “No, listen to me. Do you think that it was that easy for you to ‘manipulate’ me, especially after the hell I went through after our breakup? I was heartbroken, completely crushed, and every instinct I had yelled at me to never let you in again. Don’t you think I thought long and hard about what I wanted? Don’t you know that I was terrified to let you back again in my life, and that if I did decide that I wanted to be with you, it was because I fought to overcome all those fears! So, don’t tell me that you somehow made that decision for me. You didn’t; no one did. My answer would have been the same if you had asked me next month or the next year, because I love you, damn it!”
His eyes are stormy as he rushes toward me and pulls me to him by the waist. “But you deserve better; you could do so much better. If I’m holding you back…”
“Who are you?” I ask him, completely astounded. “Where’s that cocky, over-smart jerk who fought like hell to convince me that he was the one for me? Where is the guy that I fell for, because it sure as hell isn’t you?”
He staggers away looking conflicted, and I know what I have to do. Too many people recently have filled his mind with doubts, playing on his insecurities, and it kills me to see this amazing guy being subjected to that. Being a person who for her entire life has never felt good enough for anyone, I know what it can do to you, how it takes away that part of you that wants someone to love them. He has to know that if anyone could do better, it’s him. He’s the better person in our relationship because he’s stronger; he turned my life around when I was completely lost.
“Cole, please look at me.” I move closer to him and cup his face between my palms, forcing him to look straight into my eyes.
“You have to know why I love you and why I choose to be with you. You make my days brighter just by being near me; I always have a reason to smile when you’re around. Everything feels like it’s easier; I laugh easier, breathe deeper, and feel so much more because of you. You came into my life like this whirlwind, tossed everything around, and when it settled back down to normal, my entire world was different, and it was amazing. So, if that kind of a relationship sounds unhealthy to people, then I don’t care, because I’m really selfish when it comes to you. I need you to be in my life, Cole.”
I choke on the last few words, trying my best not to cry, but Cole must have sensed the emotion anyway because he shakes his head, as if he were in a trance, and hugs me close to him, molding my body to his, and he kisses me deeply but without urgency, savoring the moment.
“Goddamn it, woman, how is it even possible for you to love me so much? I can’t walk away from you, not after this.”
“Then don’t.” I gulp and will myself to be brave enough to do what I want to do at this moment.
Pulling back, I start working on the buttons of his shirt when his hand shoots out to stop me.
“What are you doing?” His voice is hoarse, his eyes wide, mouth slightly ajar.
Swallowing, I push his hand aside and continue unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’m ready,” I tell him simply, knowing that he’ll understand.
He doesn’t stop me again but does question, “Are you sure? I don’t want you to think you have to do this to prove a point.”
Never taking my eyes off his chest I tell him, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I know that I want this with you.”
He nods, and then the most wonderful thing happens. I get my arrogant, smirking, bad boy back, who’s in control and who knows that the only thing I need right now is him.
We move gently, hesitantly toward each other knowing that we’re about to do something that’ll change us and our relationship, stopping it from existing as it does now and morphing into something so much more.
***
After, as we lay tangled in the sheets, not knowing where one begins or the other ends, I can’t help but think that now I understand why everyone’s so crazy about the sex thing. It’s not just about the physical gratification but more so about the emotional connection, especially when you’re with the person you love.
I definitely feel closer to Cole now, like our feelings have been magnified and externalized. I’m lying half on top of him, his arms wrapped tightly around me. Both of us are still breathing hard, covered in a sheen of sweat, and I snuggle deeper into him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Tessie.”
I shrug, though it was quite painful, it wasn’t his fault. “It was worth it, definitely.”
He kisses the top of my head. “How do you feel? Was that as good as what you expected?” The insecurity is back in his voice, and I squash it immediately. “It was so much better. It felt…” I feel my cheeks turning red, but I continue anyway because he needs to hear it. “It felt amazing, even though the first time isn’t supposed to feel so great. You made it amazing for me.” I kiss his chest and he rolls me onto my back, using his arms to support himself as he rolls on top of me. I stare at him, our lower bodies covered by the sheets, but his gorgeous chest is exposed, and my eyes glaze over.
He kisses me softly, his hands all over me. Resting his forehead against mine, he rasps, “I never considered sex to be anything but a physical release, but with you, fuck, Tessie, nothing’s ever felt as amazing as that.”
Lovingly I run my knuckles down his cheek and he kisses every one of them.
“Don’t ever doubt how I feel about you ever again, okay?”
He grins mischievously. “If the consequences are as mind-blowing as this, then I don’t really have a better reason to not do it.”
We both laugh but immediately stop when he begins to tug down the sheet that’s covering my body.
“Again?” I gasp, knowing that I’m way too sore to try anything right now.
He shakes his head. “I just want to take care of you.”
I watch him suspiciously as he rids me of the sheets, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to the attached bathroom.
He puts me on my feet before starting the shower. In the bright light of the room, I begin to feel self-conscious about my body and consider wrapping a robe around me when Cole returns and wraps his arms around me.
“Shower?” I squeak as he runs his hands up and down my back reassuringly.
“I hope you don’t mind, but the hot water will make you feel better, and I didn’t…couldn’t let go of you just yet.”
Face blazing, I nod. I understand how he feels even though I’m too embarrassed to admit it.
When he feels that the water is warm enough, Cole leads me behind the glass doors, and I rely on him to pull me through since my own legs feel like jelly.
As I stand under the soothing spray, Cole presses his chest into my back and wraps his arms around me.
“Did you ever think when I first came back that we’d end up here?”
I smile. “Well, you did soak m
e with cold water the first time I saw you then, so I had my suspicions.”
He tickles me and I writhe in his arms. “But this beats being attacked by a water pitcher.”
I hum in my throat. “Definitely.”
“That’s all I ask, Shortcake, that’s all I ask.”
Chapter Eleven: I Didn’t Cross the Line, I Usain Bolted Past It
I’ve never been a big believer in fate; it’s always more practical to believe that you carve your own way in life than to think that some cosmic mojo is responsible for you failing that calculus test. That said, sometimes it’s pretty apparent that some things are out of your control and that that do-or-die attitude fails to combat said cosmic mojo.
Take, for example, the fact that only a couple of days after my dad gave Cole and me his “distance is good for the soul” speech, we got the call. The call came while we were on the road, going to Charleston, and also at a time when I’d become more addicted to Cole than ever before. I know, right? That sounds impossible, but if you factor in the life-altering occurrence of making love to Cole Stone, you’ll understand. That day changed everything about our relationship, if possible; it’s definitely become more intense. All that unresolved tension that used to surround us is gone, and in its place is this spectacular pull that ensures that we can’t keep our hands off each other.
On the flip side, Cole’s caveman tendencies have increased, and if it were up to him, I’d dress like Maria from The Sound of Music before the Von Trapps. But I find the possessiveness incredibly sexy and give it back in spades. I’m definitely even more aware of all the female attention he gets, and lord save the bimbo who tries to make a move; things tend to get a little ugly.
But then there’s The Call. We were just checking into the motel when Cole received it, and, given how his face drained of all color when he answered, I knew that something was very wrong. It took me some time to get it out of him as he made hasty arrangements to go back home. With a trembling voice, he told me that Nana Stone was sick and in the hospital. Sheriff Stone had called and asked Cole to come home right away. My heart sank and I had immediately offered to go with him, but he refused. Alex left with him, and Cole made me promise him that I wouldn’t come back immediately and that I would enjoy the trip as planned with my girlfriends. It was a difficult decision but the look in his eyes, the blazing determination, made me agree. So, fate intervened and we went our separate ways, at least for a couple of weeks.
Which brings us back to now. Megan, Beth, and I did everything on our list and more. We drank, we danced, we shopped, but most of all, we grew closer as friends. Of course, I was constantly in touch with Cole and was immensely relieved to know that Nana Stone was doing well after a heart attack scare and recuperating. We missed each other, but my dad was on to something with the distance thing; it does make me feel like we’re stronger now than ever before because we’ve done what my parents didn’t think we could do. We stood the test of time and showed them that the connection we had wasn’t purely physical. I guess that’s something that’s a bit difficult for them to absorb. The extent of their relationships post the divorce has been meaningless flings, especially in my mom’s case. My dad, on the other hand, seems to genuinely be developing feelings for his secretary, now his girlfriend, as cliché as that is.
Speaking of my parents, ever since the events that transpired in New York, things have been a bit chilly between us. I haven’t talked to my mom at all. I would have tried had her efforts to make amends not involve blaming Cole for “brainwashing me.” She needs to learn to accept him before she can even think about being a part of my life again.
Harsh, I know, but she deserves it.
My dad, on the other hand, tries his best not to act smug, like it’s his brilliant speech that made Cole and me take the decision to spend some time apart. The events leading to our separation were unforeseen, but he sees it as some kind of a divine intervention, fate, you sneaky bitch, as I like to refer to it. Anyway, when I would talk to him on the phone after Cole left, he’d sound ridiculously happy about it and would even offer to upgrade us to the best hotels in town. My patience has been wearing thin with him as well. I just don’t know how to deal with the fact that my parents seem to question my relationship so much, a relationship that makes me happier than I’ve ever been.
***
Today the girls and I arrive back home, and even though we’re dead tired from all the driving and the late nights just staying up and talking, there’s a thrill in the atmosphere. It’s the end of a fantastic trip, and our friendship is stronger than ever. I know we’ll miss each other when we head off our separate ways, but we’ll always be best friends; now I know that.
With a hug, I drop off Megan at her house, and I swear I can see her parents watching through the windows. It’ll be extremely creepy if they know she’s coming because it’s supposed to be a surprise for our families and boyfriends. Next, Beth and I head to my house because, even though the knowledge of it makes me gag, she wants to, and I quote “pounce on Travis” the moment she can. I try to remove the visual from my head, very unsuccessfully, if I do say so myself.
The house is quiet, as expected, and, to both our disappointments, Travis’s car isn’t in the driveway, and neither is my dad’s, for that matter. Apparently, we suck at surprises, and now it does not seem like the best idea.
But there’s still one person I can get to. My stomach is filled with butterflies at the thought of seeing him, of watching the expression on his face when he sees me. A giddy smile automatically makes its way onto my face when I think of him and of finally being together. The anticipation is killing me, and I don’t even bother getting out of the car.
“I know it’s time to leave when you get that ‘oh Cole, do me, do me!’ expression.” Beth wrinkles her nose and I smack her shoulder.
“I was not thinking about him doing me!” I say indignantly. She’s wrong, definitely wrong. Okay maybe partly wrong.
But, seriously, it’s more than the do-me part with us.
“Yeah, right,” she chortles, “Who knew you’d go right from a blushing virgin to a hussy? Honestly, I’m impressed; Cole must be skilled.” She winks and, ironically enough, I blush profusely.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend to wait for? I thought you had a whole dramatic scenario planned,” I huff out and wish for my cheeks to cool down. Beth having mentioned Cole’s bedroom skills makes that rather difficult.
“Oh crap!” Beth suddenly exclaims, smacking her forehead. “I need to get started. Getting into that corset is at least going to take half an hour.”
Again, a mental image I did not need but that doesn’t seem to faze her, and she goes on…
“…but what’s the point? He’s just going to rip it off in like five seconds.”
“Okay, okay, stop! You need to set up your twisted dominatrix role play or whatever it is, and I need to see my boyfriend.”
She grins and hauls herself out of the car, finally, and blows me a kiss before skipping all the way to the house, her carry-ons and the unmissable Victoria’s Secret bag bouncing right after her.
Ah, the things love does to us.
***
Grinning to myself, I park the car and decide to get my bags later; I cannot wait to see Cole. It’s crazy how much I’ve missed him; it has hurt physically, and I revel in the surety that we’ll be at the very least spending the next four years together.
The five-minute walk to his house feels like it takes forever. My pulse is racing, the fluttering back in my stomach with vengeance, and there’s a rush of adrenaline coursing through me. It’s crazy to miss and love someone this much; it must be. All I can hope is that he feels the same way.
I practically run the entire way, only to come to a halting stop when I reach his front porch. For a second I have that feeling, the one where you can’t register the fact that you’re actually seeing what’s right in front of your eyes. It takes a while for your brain to catch up, and the dazed and confuse
d feeling eventually leaves you.
But you’re no less stunned, and your vision is still a little hazy.
I do see Cole hunched over the front steps of his house, and the sight of him does make my heart pound, my palms sweat, and my body thrum with desire due to his proximity, but there’s something very wrong with this picture.
I’m not jumping to any conclusions, at least not yet. We’ve come leaps and bounds in our relationship, and the fact that he loves me is deeply ingrained in me, but this…this does not make sense.
Because sitting—thank god—a few feet away from him is Nicole, yes, the Nicole, and right now she’s stroking his bicep like she’s comforting him, and he’s not stopping her. She’s got his hands on him, this girl, my former nemesis who has openly admitted to being in love with my boyfriend, is touching him, and he’s not stopping her. Nicole and I may have made peace, but that doesn’t mean I have to be okay with this.
There’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing. They’re sitting at a respectable distance and everything looks platonic, so I don’t let my inner insanely jealous and irrational girlfriend out for some hair-pulling and earring-holding action. I allow myself to be the calm and collected, mature adult that I in no way am and step forward a couple of feet, enough so that when I clear my throat, they can both see me.
They don’t jump apart, guilty, but Nicole immediately drops her hand and Cole jumps up. His expression, that look on his face, is everything I’d hoped for and more. He looks absolutely stunned and gloriously happy as he takes me from top to toe, with an intense heated gaze that makes my insides do somersaults.
For a moment, Nicole and her grabby hands are forgotten as Cole rushes toward me and, just a millisecond before he wraps me up in his arms, he whispers my name in his husky voice like it’s a prayer, and I melt into him.
“Cole,” I breathe as he pulls me into his firm chest and cups my face in his hands.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says before he crushes his mouth against mine and kisses me like his life depends on it.
The Bad Boy’s Heart Page 13