by Brenda Novak
Delaney slipped her hand into the crook of Ralph’s arm, and he led her up the aisle to the accompaniment of “The Wedding March.” Here comes the bride…here comes the bride…
With each step, Conner felt his tie growing tighter.
What do you think you’re doing? You’re not cut out for this. You’ll never make her a good husband, never be able to give her and the baby what they need….
Blood isn’t everything…
I took a chance on something I love—someone I love….
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade….
And if the ranch isn’t profitable in five years? What then?
Then she’d know she shouldn’t have bet her future on him.
Conner closed his eyes, took a deep breath and felt Roy nudge him.
“If you back out now, I’ll kill ya,” he murmured. “I’m not standing here making a spectacle of myself for nothing.”
A fleeting glance at Parker revealed that the good reverend was too caught up in the music and the bride’s advance to have overheard, but Conner smiled at the memory of first meeting Roy. Who would’ve thought they’d ever become friends? And who would’ve thought he’d end up marrying the virgin who’d come to his room that night at the Bellemont?
He briefly recalled the fact that he’d once considered Idaho synonymous with the outer reaches of hell, and his smile widened. If it was hell, he’d just told Satan to turn up the heat.
* * *
THE KISS CONNER HAD GIVEN HER at the altar had been light and sweet, but mostly respectful. Delaney had stood in front of all her friends and acquaintances, just about everyone she knew, and imagined they recognized the lack of passion in his kiss as easily as she did. Had he been trying to make some sort of announcement—that he was only marrying her because of the baby?
She was making a terrible mistake, she thought miserably. And yet, whenever she looked up and found Conner watching her, or brushed against him as they cut the cake or posed for a photograph, or heard the deep rumble of his voice, she felt a tingle in her stomach and even a surge of excitement at the thought that, for whatever reason, he belonged to her. Certainly, that was something worth building on….
Rebecca glanced up from her plate and frowned. “What’s wrong? This is your wedding luncheon. Aunt Millie and Uncle Ralph have gone to a lot of work to get the yard ready. You’re supposed to be having fun.”
“It’s difficult to have fun when my face hurts from this fake smile, my conscience hurts from all the lies and my pride hurts from the fact that Conner doesn’t even want me.”
Rebecca shook her head. “You’re taking life too seriously. Can I have your cake?”
Delaney shoved her untouched piece of cake over to Rebecca. “And marriage is supposed to be a game?”
“Just relax and celebrate. Hey, Conner’s mom is watching you. She looks concerned.”
Delaney boosted her smile a few notches and nodded at Vivian. “What’s to celebrate? I’m marrying a man who doesn’t love me,” she muttered to Rebecca, double-checking to be sure her new husband wasn’t within earshot. When she saw him several feet away near the rented arbor, deep in conversation with his grandfather, she relaxed. Aunt Millie’s small backyard was still crowded, but the wedding luncheon was technically over and the guests were wrapped up in their own conversations. She could hear Aunt Millie gushing to Ruby and some of the neighbors about how she’d waited for this day her entire life, and Delaney felt as though she’d betrayed her. If this was the kind of wedding Aunt Millie had wanted it to be, Delaney and Conner would’ve left long ago. They would’ve rushed off before anyone else, eager to start their honeymoon.
But Conner had a ranch to run and had mentioned that he was eager to take care of some business while his grandfather and uncles were in town.
“You’re going to have a father for your baby. That’s something to celebrate,” Rebecca said, polishing off the cake.
Allowing her baby to grow up with his or her father counted for a great deal. But somehow, it couldn’t cover everything. Was it too much to ask that he care a little about her, too?
“I just…I don’t know,” Delaney said. “I feel like I’ve let everyone down, including myself.”
“Conner…”
Delaney heard Vivian’s voice, saw her move toward her son and watched their heads bend together for a few moments. Then Conner looked over at her, and Delaney quickly lowered her eyes.
“Oh my gosh. His mother’s having to tell him to take me away,” she said. “She’s feeling sorry for me.”
“Somebody should’ve told him an hour ago,” Rebecca said.
Conner walked over, absolutely gorgeous in his tux. Delaney told herself to remember that this was the same man who’d lugged her suitcases into the ranch wearing such an angry expression, the man who’d refused to acknowledge her for weeks, the man who was still treating her indifferently. She had to remember all this, so he’d never have the power to break her heart. But after what she’d done to him, his behavior was all too forgivable, and she ended up thinking instead about the way his hands had felt when they’d touched her that night in Boise.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
“It’s about time you got over here,” Rebecca said before Delaney could answer.
“Rebecca!” she cried.
Rebecca gave Conner a dirty look and hugged Delaney goodbye. “Well, he should have,” she said. “And if he’s not good to you, I swear I’m going to—”
“Stop it,” Delaney said, but she couldn’t help smiling as she led Conner away.
“Rebecca is certainly…her own person,” Conner murmured after they’d said their goodbyes to Aunt Millie, Uncle Ralph, his mother and his grandfather, and were heading out to the truck.
“Don’t say anything bad about her around me,” Delaney said.
Conner laughed. “Calm down. I think I like her. That’s the crazy thing. Nothing here in Dundee is turning out the way I thought it would the day I pulled into town.”
“I could say the same thing,” she said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“I SAW MY UNCLE STEPHEN talking to you at the luncheon. What did he say?” Conner asked, keeping his eyes on the road so he wouldn’t stare at his lovely bride and swerve into a ditch.
Delaney considered him. “You really want to know?”
Conner shrugged. “I can probably guess, but let me have it.”
“He said not to get too comfortable at the ranch, that you never stick with anything.”
Quickly masking the anger that flared inside him, Conner told himself not to worry about Stephen. The ranch belonged to him now. At least he had a fighting chance. “Nice of him to wish us well, don’t you think?”
“This must be the man you thought had put me up to seducing you in Boise.”
“That’d be him.”
“He’s part of the reason you married me, though, isn’t he?”
Conner didn’t know what to say. Stephen had been part of the reason, but only because he’d insisted on magnifying Conner’s flaws. The truth of the matter was that Conner had actually been trying to escape his own reputation. Except, he didn’t want to think about that because then he’d have to admit he had some culpability in everything that had happened between them. Delaney might have tried to get pregnant in Boise, but he wouldn’t have felt marriage was his only option if he’d led a good life up until that point. In a sense, he’d trapped himself.
“I married you because I thought it would be best,” he said.
“Right.” She stroked the smooth white satin of her dress, then gazed out the window. Conner allowed himself a quick glance at her. She’d taken off her high heels. Her feet and ankles, covered in sheer white nylons, peeked out from the hem of the gown. He wondered if she wore a garter belt with those nylons—maybe a lacy number that rode low on her hips. The contradiction of his small-town librarian, who’d never known a man until she offered him her virginity just over four months ag
o, wearing something so wanton made Conner’s pulse race.
He opened the window to cool down. “Are you tired?” he asked. They’d talked about a honeymoon and decided to use his family’s short stay as an excuse to avoid one, but Conner wasn’t so sure he still agreed with that decision. She was his wife. She was carrying his baby. And he wanted to find out about that garter belt…
“I’m not tired,” she said.
“How’s the morning sickness?”
“It’s gone.”
The arch at the entrance to the Running Y came up on their right. Conner slowed, but then he remembered that garter belt and the gifts she’d received at the bridal shower and thought maybe he could convince her to share them with him, after all.
“Where are we going?” Delaney asked in surprise when he kept driving.
“There’s a string of cabins outside Blackfoot. My mother thought that might be a nice place to take you—”
“Your mother’s a wonderful person. And I appreciate the way she’s looking out for me, but I’m fine,” Delaney said. “There’s no need to change our plans.”
“There’s not?”
“No. I knew what I was getting into,” she said.
“And what exactly is that?”
“An arrangement.”
An arrangement. Conner nodded and tried not to let his disappointment show. “Okay,” he said, and turned the truck around.
* * *
DELANEY’S SMILE became more and more difficult to maintain. As soon as they returned to the house, they changed out of their bridal wear. Then Conner disappeared into his office with his grandfather and his uncles, leaving Delaney in the living room with Vivian and the two dogs. Delaney suspected Vivian would have joined the men, but she was too protective of Delaney to leave her alone on her wedding day and seemed determined to make up for Conner’s neglect.
“What do you think you’ll name the baby?” Vivian asked, glancing surreptitiously down the hall.
“I haven’t decided yet. I need to get a book and look at my options,” Delaney said. But she was thinking about using Vivian’s name, if it was a girl. The older woman moved with such grace, such refinement. Delaney already admired her.
“That friend I met—?”
“Rebecca?” Delaney asked, petting Champ when he came to rest his muzzle in her lap.
“That’s the one. She’s colorful, isn’t she. I liked her right away.”
Delaney smiled. Vivian would. Vivian would see the diamond beneath the rough.
“She said she’s getting married,” Vivian went on.
“She’s marrying a computer technician who lives in Nebraska in another month.”
“Is her fiancé moving here?”
“No, they’ll be living in Nebraska.”
“You must hate the thought of her leaving.”
Sundance nudged Champ aside and gave a little whine, obviously hoping for his share of her attention. “I do. We grew up down the street from each other. I can’t remember a time in my life when Rebecca wasn’t there.”
Delaney heard her voice wobble and struggled to hold it steady. She might be pregnant and emotional, but she wouldn’t feel sorry for herself. She would keep her head high and—
Vivian moved closer to her on the couch and placed a hand over hers as both dogs watched with what seemed like curious eyes. “I know how you feel,” she said. “But I don’t think Rebecca will go anywhere. She’s obviously taken with that other man at the reception. What was his name? Josh Something?”
The surprise that jolted Delaney eased the lump in her throat. “You noticed? You’re a complete stranger, and you noticed?”
Vivian raised her eyebrows. “I noticed that he was looking at her, too, and I found the chemistry between them pretty hard to ignore. I thought maybe they had a history.”
“They have a history, all right. That’s part of the problem.”
Conner’s mother turned to check the hallway again, as though she didn’t want anyone to come in on them unawares. “Delaney, I know that Conner’s not an easy man to get along with. I know he’s probably not as sensitive and open as he should be. And I—” she hesitated “—I know that your relationship is none of my business. I won’t intrude other than to say I hope you won’t give up on him too easily.”
“Viv—Mom, maybe there’s something you should know,” Delaney started to say, ready to spill everything, but Vivian squeezed her hand.
“I don’t want to know,” she said. “I can tell you love him. And that’s all that matters to me. The rest will work itself out. Now let’s get the others and open all these lovely wedding gifts.”
* * *
QUILTS PULLED TO HER CHIN, Delaney sat propped up in bed, staring miserably at the digital clock on her nightstand. She’d watched the numbers slowly flip from one to the next for more than two hours. Now it was midnight, and the lack of noise in the house told her everyone had finally retired. So where was Conner?
He must have gone to bed in his own room, she decided. He certainly hadn’t come to hers. After they’d opened their wedding gifts, he’d returned to his study. His mother had helped her address thank-you cards until bedtime, and then they’d said good-night. But the book Delaney had been reading now lay discarded on her nightstand next to the blasted clock. Nothing, not even a gripping thriller, had the power to engross her tonight. It was her wedding night, and from the look of things, her new husband wasn’t sufficiently interested in her to come and say good-night.
With a heartfelt sigh, she mashed down her pillows and told herself to quit worrying and get some sleep. But she kept thinking about her old life; she missed Rebecca and their house and her job and her good reputation. So much had changed—nothing would ever be the same again. And she’d brought it on herself.
A tear slipped from the corner of her eye as she called herself a fool for believing she could have a baby on her own without destroying her life and everyone else’s, but then a small knock sounded on her door.
“Delaney? You awake?”
Conner! Delaney tensed and wiped the tears away as the door cracked open. He stepped into the room, his profile revealed in the moonlight filtering through the blinds on her window, but Delaney would have known him even with her eyes closed. After working for him for almost two months, she could easily single out his footfalls from the others, easily identify his outdoorsy scent, his breathing, his aura. His proximity never failed to make her more aware of everything around her.
“Delaney?”
She didn’t answer. Squeezing her eyes shut, she pretended to sleep, hoping he’d go away and at the same time she was hoping he’d stay. She didn’t want him coming to her out of the sense of obligation that had led him to marry her in the first place. She didn’t want him coming to her because his mother had shamed him into it. Which was why she’d refused to go to the cabin. She wanted him in her bed only if he wanted to be there.
When she showed no sign of consciousness, he moved closer and leaned over her, lightly skimming her cheek with one finger.
She opened her eyes to see him wearing—again—nothing but a pair of blue jeans.
“Sorry to wake you,” he murmured, as a shiver of excitement crawled slowly down her spine to twist and swirl somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach.
“Is something wrong?” she whispered in deference to the quiet that surrounded them.
“No, I was…” His words fell off, and Delaney waited.
“You were what?”
“I was trying to stay in my own room, but…I didn’t want to start out this way.”
“What way?”
“Sleeping apart.” He straightened, shoved his hands in his pockets and spoke calmly, unemotionally. “I don’t think it sets a good precedent.”
Precedent? He wanted to sleep with her to create a precedent? “That is a big concern,” she said, but couldn’t tell if he recognized the sarcasm in her response. His face was inscrutable in the darkness, his eyes shiny dark pool
s.
He glanced reluctantly at the door. “You’d rather sleep alone, then?”
She considered how she’d feel if he walked away, and how she’d feel if he didn’t, and knew she wanted him here. But pride demanded she establish some standards. “Stay only if you want to, not because you think it’s best or want to mollify your mother or—”
“I want to,” he said, his eyes meeting hers.
Delaney’s breath caught as his gaze lowered to her shoulders, fixing on the ivory material of her negligee. “You’re wearing it,” he breathed. “Can I see?”
She lay perfectly still as he folded back the covers. He looked at her for several seconds, then smiled and ran a hand over the small bulge that was finally providing visual proof of her pregnancy. “Hi, baby,” he said, bending down to brush a kiss across her abdomen.
Smiling in spite of herself, Delaney cupped his cheek and held him against their baby for a moment longer. It felt so right to have him close again—at last.
When she let go, his eyes swept over her negligee as one hand outlined the curve of her waist. “You make me crazy, Laney. There isn’t any question about that.”
Delaney already knew she made him crazy. Any questions she had didn’t revolve around that, but she didn’t want to think about questions right now. Somehow her need for answers abandoned her the moment Conner’s hands started sliding over her skin, caressing her, exploring every sensitive spot he could find while watching the expressions on her face change as she responded to him.
“Pretty,” he said, teasing her nipples with his thumbs through the fabric. Then he slid the straps off her shoulders and buried his face in the valley between her breasts, and Delaney felt her body go boneless.
“Come to bed,” she murmured, as he lifted his head to kiss her. Unlike the brief kiss he’d given her at the altar, this one held enough promise to curl her toes.
“Careful, Laney. I might actually think you want me,” he said.
“I do,” she admitted.
Grinning, he stood and stripped off his jeans, and she couldn’t help admiring the changes in his body since she’d first seen it. He’d been muscular and firm from the beginning, but he was slightly thinner now and even more defined from the physical nature of his work.