Navie looked at me curiously as everyone in our general vicinity stopped to watch. “What? she asked everyone. “What’d I say?”
I didn’t bother answering her. I turned my head to scan the crowd of men who — until Navie’s little bomb — had been being loaded into the other van. I spotted Richard instantly. His face looked white as a sheet as he stared back at me.
“You’re married?” I asked in a harsh whisper.
“Delilah, just let me—”
Then, much louder, “You’re married!”
“Divorced,” he said quickly. “I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t think it mattered.”
If a person’s head could have exploded I’m pretty sure mine would have at that very moment. “You didn’t think it mattered that I know you used to be married? Are you for real, right now?”
“Delilah, look, we’ll talk about this, I swear. But—”
“How long have you been divorced,” I interrupted. When he didn’t answer I lost what little cool I had left. “How long!”
“Since right after I met you.” My mouth dropped open. “But if you’d let me explain—”
I looked over my shoulder at the cop who’d been leading me toward the van and told him, “I’m ready to be arrested now. Get a move on, will you?”
I didn’t turn back as he walked me to the open doors of the van. I didn’t look back when Richard kept calling my name. And somehow, miraculously, I managed to keep the tears at bay as all the women watched on, their faces laced with concern, as we made our way to jail.
SOMETIMES IT WAS REALLY helpful having friends from all walks of life.
We were in what they referred to as the drunk tank when Candy, Cherry, and a few of the other girls from the club came in to say the whole scuffle had just been one big misunderstanding. They even managed to convince the bouncer — who swore he was most definitely moving back to Kentucky — not to press any charges. We were free to go within an hour.
The guys were being held in a separate area, so when they let us go, I grabbed Devon’s arm and hauled ass out of the building, all but jumping in front of the first cab that I saw. Since she’d witnessed the whole thing go down, she didn’t hesitate in helping me get the fuck out of there before having to lay eyes on Richard.
That was late last night.
Now, hours later, I lay on my bed, staring up at nothing as Halsey’s “Gasoline” blared in my ears and Shady curled up on my chest. My drunk had long since worn off, and since I was sad and hung over, Halsey was the perfect musical choice.
I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, prepared to belt out the angry lyrics just as one of the earbuds was pulled from my ears.
“Hey!” I shot a scowl up at Devon where she hovered over me. “You just interrupted my jam.”
“Delilah,” she said softly… sadly. The tone was just enough to bring tears back to my eyes.
“Damn it, Devon,” I cursed, sitting up and dislodging an unhappy Shady from his resting place. “I’m tired of crying today. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Honey, you have to talk to him. You can’t just leave it how it is with no explanation. Navie already told you it wasn’t what you thought, but you wouldn’t let her get a word in edgewise. You need to hear him out.”
If I were being honest, I didn’t have a valid argument. She was right, I did need to talk to him, but I was just too heartbroken at the moment, so instead of defending my actions, I went with, “No I don’t, and you can’t make me.”
Unfortunately, that back fired. “Too bad, I already let him in.”
I shot from the bed and snapped, “What? Why? You… you… traitor!”
She stood and moved for the doorway where Richard had suddenly appeared. “I did it because I love you and it’s for your own good.” With that, she stepped past Richard and pulled the door closed, leaving me alone with a man who was so beautiful it was almost painful to look at him… so I didn’t. I looked anywhere but at him.
“Del,” he whispered so softly I couldn’t handle it.
I batted the tears that had begun traveling down my cheeks away and scooped Shady back into my arms while sitting back on my bed. “Well, you want to talk, so talk.”
“Baby, will you at least look at me?”
Damn it.
I summoned up all the strength I could, sucked in a fortifying breath, and finally looked up. Seeing that he looked just as shitty as I felt should have been a consolation, but I couldn’t bring myself to be happy at his misery. I didn’t want him to be miserable.
“If you’re thinking I used you to cheat on my wife, you’re wrong.”
“Wow. You’re just jumping right in, aren’t you,” I sputtered.
He continued on, his face a mask of earnestness as he spoke. “I filed a year before the divorce was finalized, but she dragged it out as long as she possibly could just to make my life even more miserable than she already had.” Lowering himself onto the mattress next to me, he reached over and took my hands in his. “I swear to God, Delilah, the marriage was already over long before I met you. It just hadn’t been finalized yet, that’s all.”
“Why…” I had to clear my throat against the lump of emotion that had formed. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you’d been married before?”
I squeezed my eyes closed tightly when he reached up to brush another tear from my cheek, the touch of his fingers to my skin like a burn. “I don’t have a good answer for why I didn’t tell you. The only thing I can think is that it was during a time of my life when I didn’t have a whole lot of happiness. I didn’t want to bring it up and have that unhappiness bleed back into what we have.”
“And what do we have?” I spouted out, unable to hold the question back. “You say that like it means something to you, but then you go and tell your cousin we’re just having fun. I tried to go back to my own apartment and you drag me back to yours and tie me to the bed. You’re running so hot and cold, I don’t have a clue what’s going on with us. I’ve been trying to follow your lead this whole time, but I have to tell you, it’s getting really fucking exhausting. So please, tell me. What are we, Richard? Because I’d really like to know.”
“I—” He closed his mouth, then opened it again to speak only to close it once more. Finally, he said the three words that made my heart crack in two. “I don’t know.”
With a dry, humorless laugh, I stood from the bed and began pacing with my hands on my hips. Shady watched the exchange from the bed and whimpered like he knew it was going downhill fast… just like I did. “You don’t know. That’s just perfect, isn’t it?”
“Delilah, stop,” he demanded, standing in my path and grabbing hold of my arms. “Look. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but we’re still new. You said so yourself. It’s too early to try and guess what’s going to happen in the future. Can’t we just…” He released me and ran his hands through his hair in agitation. “Goddamn! Can’t we just keep things how they’ve been? What’s so wrong with that, huh? What we’ve been doing is fucking great!”
“It is,” I agreed softly. “And I know we’re still new. I’m not asking you for anything serious right now. I just want to know that what we’re doing could at least lead to something more. I tried not to do it, but I’m falling more and more for you every day, and I just need to know I’m not the only one. Am I the only one, Richard?”
“No,” he declared adamantly, pulling me against his strong body in a hug so tight it pushed the breath from my lungs. “You’re not the only one, baby. I care about you.”
It wasn’t quite the declaration I wanted, but I wasn’t an irrational girl. Expecting an I love you so early in the game wasn’t fair of me, even if I might have been feeling that way about him. I sucked in a deep breath, taking in the smell that was so very Richard, a smell I’d never get tired of. “See, that’s all I needed to know,” I whispered. “I just needed to know you hadn’t shut the door on the idea of a future.”
At that, his
body grew stiff. When he remained silent, I pulled back and looked up at his face. “Richard?” I asked when he stayed quiet. “You are opened to the idea of a future… right?”
His response was to avoid answering my question by asking one of his own. “Why is this a conversation we’re even having right now? Why can’t we just enjoy each other and not worry about the future, huh? What’s the point in talking about all this serious shit?”
“We’ve never talk about anything serious!” I cried, throwing my hands up. “It’s all about having fun, living in the moment, and that’s fine, but I want to get to know you. Is it so bad to want to know the person you’re sleeping with every night? Good Lord, I don’t even know your favorite color! You’ve already been married, for God’s sake. I mean, is that even something you’d consider doing again?”
I regretted asking the question the moment his answer registered on his face.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, taking a step back as more tears fell. “You don’t, do you?”
“Del—” He moved to grab me, but I took another step back.
“Richard, do you ever see yourself getting married again?”
The silence weighed so heavily on my chest I worried it would crush me. But then he answered, and I discovered there was something even worse than suffocating on the unknown.
His voice sounded positively ravaged as he said one word. “No.”
“N-never?” I sniffled, trying desperately not to cry any more than I already had.
“I’m sorry, Delilah. I just… after my first marriage, I just can’t see myself ever doing that again.”
“A-and kids?”
He was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. “I don’t see anything like that for my future.”
I wiped at my face with the backs of my hands. My voice broke as I asked, “Do you… do you think you’d ever change your mind?”
“I tried the whole family thing once, and it blew up in my face.” He grabbed my hand before I could pull away, yanking me to him. “I’m sorry, Delilah. I can’t see myself getting married and having kids, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. Please, can’t we just… can we go back to how it’s been?” He dropped his forehead to mine and squeezed his eyes closed as he held onto me tightly. “Let’s just go back.”
Despite the fact my chest ached as my heart broke into a million pieces, I cupped his cheeks in the palms of my hands and held him tenderly as I pulled away to look at him. “I’m not asking for a ring or a white picket fence and two-point-five kids when we’ve been together less than a month.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief and his whole face started to relax… until I continued.
“But I can’t be in a relationship with a man who won’t even consider the possibility of a future with me.”
“Delilah, no—”
“I want to get married one day,” I said through a watery smile, my thumb trailing along his bottom lip as I tried to memorize every single angle of his beautiful face. “I want to have kids and take them over to my parents’ house for Sunday dinner. I want a man that loves me so much he wants the entire world to know. I’m not saying I want that tomorrow, or next week, or, Hell, even next year. But I do want it… eventually. And I can’t be with someone who won’t even consider the possibility of one day having that with me.” A sob broke free from my chest. “I’m sorry, Richard. I just can’t do that. That’s not what I see for my future.”
His forehead came back to mine and his eyes closed once again as he held me like I was his lifeline. I don’t know how long we stood like that before his arms around my waist finally loosened and he took a step back. Those beautiful crystal blue eyes were red and glassy when he finally opened them and looked at me.
He sounded like he’s just swallowed gravel when he said, “You deserve that. I’m so sorry.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
He leaned in, placing one last kiss on my lips before turning and striding to the bedroom door. He graced me with one last look over his shoulder, one last gorgeous smile, before he pulled the door open and disappeared.
And I crumbled.
THE WEEK THAT FOLLOWED my ending things with Richard felt like it dragged on for an eternity. Each day was spent following the exact same routine. I woke up early, knowing Richard’s schedule, so I could leave for Flora before he was set to head out for work. I went through my every day in a daze, as if I spent every hour on autopilot. Doing my job while remaining detached from everything around me. I left Toni to close up every evening, knowing Richard usually got home around seven. I had to be home by five to ensure there wouldn’t be a run-in in the hallway or elevator.
I might have avoided actually seeing him at every turn, but at night, I lay curled up in bed, as close to the headboard as possible in the hopes of hearing him on the other side of the wall.
Shady, being too in tune with my mood, spent the week curled up close to me, whimpering and whining at any sound that passed through the wall. It was like he missed Richard just as much as I did. The poor little guy didn’t even have the desire to sniff the other dogs’ butts when I took him out for walks.
The door to Flora opened and I looked up just in time to see Devon walk in holding a garment bag. She gave me a pitying smile as she moving close. “You ready?”
Not in the least, I thought as I rounded the counter at the same time Toni joined us. “Yeah. Let’s just get this over with. I’m already ready for this day to be over.” That was an unbelievable understatement. The three of us were on our way to Connecticut for Navie and Rowan’s wedding at his family’s estate — yes, I said estate. Like I wasn’t already fully aware that I was worlds apart from Richard. After the two-hour early morning trip, I would be spending the remainder of the morning and the early afternoon setting up all the flowers for the ceremony. The largest of the arrangements had already been put together in my shop and loaded into the back of the van for transport. Once there, Toni and I would put the finishing touches on everything.
I’d fully intended on driving back home as soon as I finished, but Navie wasn’t having any of it. She and Pepper had hounded me until I finally agreed to stay through the entire reception as their guest. They’d even gone so far as to bring Devon over to their side so she’d join forces with them. I eventually caved and agreed to stay for the entirety of the wedding, but I put my foot down when she tried to get me to agree to spend the night in one of the many rooms. No way in hell was I sleeping in the same house as Richard. I just couldn’t bring myself to do that.
Devon waved the garment bag at me and said, “Well, I have our dresses to change into once the dirty work’s finished, and I have to say, we are going to look hot.”
Toni crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into this. You know I hate weddings.”
I looked at her with an evil smile. “Yeah, well, if I have to suffer through this it’s only fair I have a posse around me. Besides, you know what they say. Misery loves company and all that stuff, so… suck it.”
The three of us hustled out of the shop, locked up and climbed into the van to start the two-hour drive to Hell.
I should have spent the entire drive psyching myself up to see Richard again. Instead, I spent the whole time wondering if he was missing me as badly as I was missing him.
JESUS, I COULDN’T REMEMBER a time in my life when I’d been more exhausted. Six days. Six fucking days and I hadn’t gotten more than two hours of sleep each night since she ended things between us. I’d spent the entire week bouncing between being pissed off at her for ruining a perfectly good thing and missing her like I’d miss a goddamned limb.
Needless to say, I’d been in a bad fucking mood. And adding lack of sleep onto that just made it that much worse. How was it possible that in such a short amount of time I’d become addicted to the feel of her little body wrapped around mine at night? I’d never missed having Bree in my bed when I finally wised up and ended our marr
iage. But six nights without Delilah next to me, and I’d done nothing but toss and turn.
For God’s sake, I wasn’t even a cuddler! If you’d have asked me months ago, I would have told you I hated being confined while I slept. Now, I’d give anything to feel her back against my chest, feel the rise and fall of her breaths as she slept against me. I was pathetic. Every morning I’d hover around Devon’s desk, waiting for her to get in so I could ask about Delilah. How was she doing? Was she okay? Did she miss me? She hadn’t started looking for another guy who’d be able to give her the things she wants yet, had she? But the woman was a fucking vault. She refused to discuss Delilah with me, refusing to get in the middle of “whatever bullshit you two idiots are doing, since stupid is obviously contagious.”
Her exact words.
The only time I’d managed to get some semblance of an answer from her was when I asked if Del was going to be at the wedding. Her look said, just how fucking dumb can you be, as she answered with a vague, “She’s the florist, smart guy. What do you think?”
I still wasn’t quite sure if that was a definitive yes or not.
The door to my old bedroom opened and my mother flittered in, a ball of anxious energy that none of us could get to calm the hell down, no matter how hard we tried.
“Richard!” she cried, sucking in an affronted gasp as she clutched the pearls around her neck. “You haven’t even showered!”
“I have plenty of time,” I replied blandly. “It’s not like it takes me that long to get ready. The ceremony doesn’t start for another several hours.” I lifted the glass in my hand to my lips and sucked back some more of the amber-colored liquid.
“Good Lord! Is that…?” Mom stomped over to me in her designer heels and snatched the tumbler from my fingers, bringing it to her nose to take a whiff. “Oh God, son,” she cringed. “It’s not even noon yet and you’re drinking whiskey? So help me God, if you get drunk before your brother’s wedding, I’ll—”
Opposites Attract (The Locklaine Boys Book 2) Page 19