by A. M. Brooks
We get down from our perch just before all three approaching vehicles hit their lights. Adrenaline spikes in my veins and my concentration becomes clearer. I can now see Scarlet right in the middle of the action. I wish she could hear me. I wish there was a way I could send her a message to encourage her. We’re almost there. It’s almost over. I think over and over in my brain, hoping she can feel me.
Julio steps out and walks over to Scarlet, bending down to place his lips against her cheeks, and my hand flexes at my side. He must have said something funny, her head tilts slightly, and she laughs before ushering him to the waiting Jeep. A burly man, older in age, steps out and moves toward the trunk with them. The man and Bandara shake hands, and Scarlet motions for his guys to start moving product from the Jeep to one of Bandara’s rides.
“Hold,” Jay grits into the radio. My finger itches to pull the trigger on all these assholes, but I hold off. We need intent to distribute, and we can’t get that charge unless Bandara drives away.
It’s pure agony to wait until the last crate is loaded and Bandara stands in front of Scarlet again. They shake hands and she follows him to his vehicle. Every muscle in my body tenses when he reaches in his back pocket, only to pull out a separate envelope, which he hands to her, right as the splatter of a bullet hits the vehicle. Scarlet and Julio duck, while his men start shooting back in the direction the shot came from, blindly, because it’s too dark to see anything. Soon more bullets are being fired in all directions.
“What the fuck!” Jay calls out, running down the hill, and I follow, hot on his heels. Dax has taken refuge behind his car, and the other man is now shooting as well. Our men start moving forward, breaking the plan and setting this whole operation into panic. Fear catches in my throat, right when Julio grabs Scarlet, and holds her like a shield to his front, his own gun pointed at her. I freeze, her face holding a moment of shock while rage blazes in her eyes. He propels her into the vehicle and tosses his driver out to hop in after her. Sure enough, bullets ricochet off the Hummer. The tires squeal as he peels out, kicking up dust and dirt.
“They’re heading for the border!” Jay yells, his arm motioning for our team to follow. “There’s only five miles, if they cross it, we lose all of this!”
I glance back toward Dax’s car and sprint over. “Keys!” I yell and he tosses them into the air. I hop in and slam my foot on the gas. It’s a miracle I get as close as I do. Taking my gun from my hip, I stick my hand out of the window and start aiming at the tires. Julio manages to evade them and it sends us both off the road and into the rough part of the terrain. “Shit,” I mutter, before shifting into high gear, which causes my tail end to swivel while gaining the traction I need. I chase after them, while hearing Jay in my ear calling off how many miles I have left. Each time, it feels like a clock counting down an explosion. My heart races and sweat is gathering at my temples. I can’t lose her.
Cranking the wheel, I manage to get somewhat back on the road and the car pitches forward. I have enough room again to take a shot. This time, I manage to get the back tire, and the Hummer swerves from the impact of the tire going out. I pull the trigger again and manage to hit one more. The Hummer completely skids to a sideways stop. The motion causes a cloud of dust to hang thickly in the air. I hit my emergency brake and come to a stop near them, managing to get out of the car before Julio can shoot at me. I’m almost positive Dax’s windows are not bulletproof.
The car door slams and a smothered yell from Scarlet hits my ears. Squinting through the dust, I creep along the side of the car until I see him crouched, still holding her pinned to his chest.
“Let her go, Bandara!” I yell and his head swivels in my direction. “Let her go. She’s who we’re here for.” I lay down the lie. I don’t want to lose Julio, but I refuse to let him get Scarlet across that border. There is a good chance he may kill her. I can’t lose her.
I see her struggle against him. I have to give the man props, he at least contemplates his options. Probably sizing up how much he actually needs her. He pushes her to the ground and starts running for the border, shooting at me as he goes. I chase after him, firing. I feel a burning sensation in my arm, but keep going. My clip is almost empty. Dropping to one knee, I take a steady shot, breathing hard. This time, I don’t miss. Bandara falls to the ground, while blood blooms in a red patch over his back. Sirens are getting closer now. I’m sure we’ve finally alerted Border Patrol. Behind me, I can hear car tires skidding on the gravel. Helicopter blades swirl through the area and a white spotlight hits me. I drop my gun and raise my hands behind my head. My eyes never leave Bandara’s body, fearing if I blink, he’ll disappear and all of this will be for nothing. I hope he survives, but I don’t need him alive.
I’m eventually hauled to my feet, right as medical personnel are picking up Bandara. Jay orders one of our guys to stay with him, not trusting anyone around us. I’m walked over to Jay, who grimaces when he looks at me. “You fucking got shot?”
I look down and, sure enough, there is a tear in my skin. “Grazed.”
“That was almost really bad.” Jay sighs. His face looks tired and worn. “Now we have this to clean up.”
“Who fired?” I ask, waiting on needles.
His eyes catch mine as if he reads my mind and he shakes his head. “One of ours. He thought he knew better than me and took a shot before we were ready.”
Now it’s my turn to sigh in relief. “Is she okay?’
“Little banged up,” Jay answers, “Why do you care, though? You still don’t trust her. A second ago, you were ready to believe she ratted us out and blew our cover.”
My eyes close. I hate that he’s right. I lower my head, feeling like shit. How will I ever fix what’s broken with us? Scarlet proved today that she has been all in. Everything she’s shared was to help us get here, and I can’t move past what happened six years ago. I don’t know if I ever will.
Hesitantly, I move around Jay and head toward Scarlet. The EMT has her sitting in the back of an ambulance with a blanket around her shoulders. I take in the way her hair is blowing in the breeze, the tear streaks on her face, down to the ridiculous pair of black, sparkling high heels she’s wearing. When our eyes meet, I can see the sadness in the depths of her chocolatey orbs. For the first time since she walked back into my life, I can see the vulnerability she carries. A woman broken so young, who was forced to do unspeakable things to protect everyone, including me. When is a monster not a monster? A reel of memories plays in my mind. From the first night on the beach, to when Blake died, to the other morning when she bared her soul, her reason for carrying on was to keep our child alive. So, when is a monster not a monster…when you love her.
My foot kicks a pebble when I finally make it over to her. She looks up, keeping eye contact even while tears roll down her cheeks. “You’re injured.”
I nod, my face staying solemn. “I’ll live. Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head and bites her lip. Silence hangs in the air. “Thanks for coming after me. I was scared it looked like I planned it.”
“Did you?” I ask, feeling like the world’s biggest dick once I do. Her shoulders hunch forward.
“No,” she answers, “I wouldn’t do that. I’m finally free of this life. I want to be a mom that Selene remembers as good.”
My throat tightens with pent-up emotion. My thoughts are scattered all over the place. My chest tightens. I’m so close to bursting and yet fear is holding me back. I don’t’ know what to do. I need to get out of here and away from her, from Jay, everyone. I can’t think. My compass is not leading me where I thought it should and it scares the fuck out of me. I need time.
“Let the EMT take care of you,” I tell her, my voice like gravel to my ears. “They’ll take you back to our facility until your court date.”
Scarlet’s eyes flicker, and the light dims. Her face crumples, and she lowers her head. She nods in response while suppressing a sob. I have to force myself to walk away. I can feel
Jay’s eyes on my retreating back, but I don’t stop. I need to get out of here.
Scarlet
Six to ten years. I wanted to laugh when that was what the DA told me I would be given in exchange for my testimony along with names and locations of my associates. Six years to get to this point and another six to ten until, maybe, I’d see outside a jail cell again. Selene will be a teenager when I’m out and will probably hate me as much she’ll be hating the world. I sigh, sitting back in my chair, thinking over the offer. In the long run, even ten is better than the twenty-five to life Trent was always taunting me with.
Trent. My heart hurts just thinking about him. I haven’t seen him since the night in the desert. The night he finally made me realize there was never any going back for us. All the damage I created would forever be too much. Too much to forgive and too much to move on from. I can’t blame him. I was selfish back then not to trust him, or even to tell him about Selene and my fears. I also can’t say I would completely do things differently. Until you’ve lived with the devil and you’ve experienced hell, you can’t say you would have been fine to walk away. I would have been dead six years ago if I tried to leave then and if my father had found out about Selene. There is no way around that.
When we got back to Vegas, Jay moved me to a private facility while they go through their process. Reports, evidence, interviews, everything needed before court. Jay pulled me aside and let me know he contacted a woman named Stephanie Troyer, and she would be handling my case. Jay was taking Trent off the decision-making, which was at first painful to hear, but now I think it’s for the best. Six to ten is a number that is deserving for the things I’ve done, whereas Jay feared Trent was too emotional and too close. I don’t want Trent to have to go through any of this with me either. He deserves to move on, and finally have his revenge on the man responsible for his friend’s death. He needs to take the time to get to know Selene, so he can see how amazing she is for himself. Besides Evita, there is no one I trust more than Trent to care for our daughter, even if he does hate me.
My nights turn into days and my days, nights, until I lose track of time completely. Three weeks pass and I know court is looming closer, and Stephanie is starting to prepare me. I’m being held without option for bail, due to my crimes and various passports.
Jay has promised I’ll see Selene before I leave. I cry every time I think of her and everything I’ll miss out on. It’s all worth it, but it hurts. Trent hasn’t been back since we arrived in Vegas and I haven’t asked to see him or talk to him. I wrote a letter asking him to please remind Selene that I was a good person once, and that even though we’re apart, I love her. I gave the letter to Stephanie who has sworn she will wait until after my sentencing to make sure he gets it. I hate this. I hate the waiting.
“You look like shit, Reyes,” Jay drawls outside my cell, and I lift my head to look at him.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend or something you can go bother?” I quirk a brow.
Jay smiles when I mention Blaise. “She decided on a college finally. I put in my request to change locations.”
“Wow,” I smile, “that’s a big move. I’m impressed.”
“Well, you won’t be when you find out who they’re wanting to pull in for my replacement,” Jay tells me, his smile fading.
“He’s a good person and a strong cop. He’ll be fine eventually.” I lift my shoulders, while pain pricks behind my eyes.
“There’s good daycare and schools around the area. Selene will do well here too.”
I nod, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “I hope so. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to be safe and loved.”
“She is. And we will make sure she is safe.” Jay clears his throat. “We need to talk about your death.”
I sit up straighter and listen to how Scarlet Reyes will officially be dead. Everything will take place outside the courthouse right after my guilty verdict. I’ll be gunned down and pronounced dead on the scene. After my death has run its course on television and in the news, I’ll be moved to the private facility that houses other women in similar situations to my own and serve my time. I had no idea a place like that existed until Stephanie brought it up. Jay leaves soon after and I’m left to ponder my fate. My identity will die; I’ll live as a ghost until I’m free to become a new me. I curl up in a ball on my mattress and mourn the life I’m leaving. It isn’t a hardship to let go of the bad. It’s the suffering I know those who love me will feel. I cry for them and I cry for the rest of my twenties that will be spent behind bars. I cry and cry until there are no tears left in me, and sleep finally takes me.
“Any questions?” Stephanie asks me, and I shake my head no. I’ve already signed the agreement and now it’s up to the judge to decide my fate. I run a hand over my favorite black pant suit before pushing my hair back from my face. Everyone is tight-lipped and their faces are passive. It really does feel like a funeral in here.
“Let’s get going,” Jay instructs and I follow them out of my cell and into the lobby. We ride the elevator down to the underground garage when I hear Jay swear under his breath.
“Scar!” My head twists in that direction, only to see Trent running toward us. His t-shirt is inside out and he’s wearing joggers. His hair is unkept, his hands running through it, and I’ve never thought he looked more beautiful than he does right now. My heart beats faster in my chest, wondering what it means for us if he’s here now.
“What are you doing?” Jay asks, turning to him, his authoritarian voice coming out.
“What the fuck are you doing? You told me to take a few weeks to get my shit together and figure out stuff with Selene. I haven’t even finished my part of the report and you’re already going ahead with court?” His voice is angry and he gets up in Jay’s face. I flinch from the impact of his words. Another part of my heart shrivels and dies, realizing he isn’t here because he’s upset I’m going in, but because he didn’t get a say in the conditions.
“This right here is why.” Jay shoves him back. “You’re too hotheaded and emotionally invested in this case. I brought in someone who can be clinical. And you finished your damn report, you’ve been too chicken shit to turn it in.”
“Fuck you, Jay!” Trent jabs a finger in his direction. “Back the hell off. I should have had a say. You know as well as I do, we can avoid this whole thing.”
“Avoid it?” Jay laughs. “After the way you acted about it, I can’t brush this under the rug. Every DA in the county is salivating for this case and this deal after you made it that way.”
Trent’s hands slide behind his head and a defeated look crosses his face. My mind swirls from all the information and accusations.
“Can you give us a minute?” I ask, turning to Jay and Stephanie. They both eye me warily. “Please?” I add and they finally back off.
When they’re a safe distance away, I turn back to Trent, whose gaze is traveling over every part of me. The look in his eyes is agonizing, again adding to the confusion. I clear my throat and his gaze jumps to mine. “This is for the best. We were both too caught up in the feelings and hurt. Stephanie has been great.”
“You call six to ten great?” Trent scoffs.
“It’s what I deserve, Trent,” I remind him. “I’ve done really awful things.”
“You were forced to under duress and your life being threatened,” he argues.
“I still committed crimes.” My voice doesn’t shake and I’m proud of myself. “I did it. And now it’s over. I will take six to ten over being dead. I can sleep at night knowing I finally did something right by ending it all.”
“I didn’t…I didn’t want it this way,” his voice crumbles a little and his head lowers, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I pushed so hard. I was blind and mad and frustrated. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings or the truth. I couldn’t move past what happened back then.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “I don’t blame you. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. My reasons d
on’t mean much to you, and I can understand. Just please love my daughter.”
Trent pulls me into his arms, right as I start crying. Ugly, terrible sobs are torn from my throat, and Trent’s arms just hold me tighter, closer.
“Our daughter, Scar,” he says into my hair, gathering my body as close as possible, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I am too,” I whisper to him, my arms winding around his waist.
“I love you. I never stopped.” His voice cracks and pieces of my heart do right along with it.
“I love you, too.”
Both of us are a mess. Trent doesn’t let me go until Jay walks back and informs him that we have to go. I pull back first, my eyes lowered, so I don’t have to look at him. I only make it one step out of his arms before he’s snatching me back, his hands cupping my face and his mouth on mine. There is nothing gentle in this kiss. It’s fast and fierce, full of longing, apologies, and love. My body sways from the lack of oxygen, and it takes another warning from Jay before Trent finally does release me.
My cheeks are red, and my lips are swollen by the time I’m cuffed and placed in the back of the car. Stephanie and Jay drive us out of the garage. Trent stands stoic, watching the entire time until I can’t see him anymore.
I learn quickly court is not what it looks like on television. I’m up, down, asked to say a few things, then the judge decides my fate. I’m given six years with the possibility of parole in three. I’ll take it. Jay straps me with a vest before we leave, the final act in this long-awaited drama. My mind buzzes while my body can’t relax, knowing I’m waiting to be shot at. Hopefully, only Jay’s sniper will be the one using me for target practice today. We walk outside and, sure enough, there is a mob of reporters and journalists lining the block. I keep my eyes peeled for any faces I may recognize and I attempt my best to look like the smug criminal I’m supposed to be.