by A. E. Murphy
“Hey, I haven’t partied in ages.”
“I hardly think four months constitutes as ages Maya,” James sighs and looks at the doctor as if to say ‘see what I have to deal with?’
The doctor raises her hands, no wedding band, all of these married couples must really put her off. “Let’s take a step back. How are things in your relationship? Let’s tackle this hurdle first.”
“She won’t talk to me.”
I roll my eyes, “He won’t stop talking to me.”
“Why won’t you talk to him Maya?” oh, it’s like that is it? Pick on me? Why not ask him why he won’t shut up about it for five minutes. “What is it you don’t want to talk about? Your feelings maybe? Or are you just scared to rehash the events?” Grunt. “That’s not an answer Maya.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“I spoke to your doctor in LA. She’s filled me in on a few things.”
James turns to gape at me, yeah, I may have forgotten to mention that to him. “You went to see a shrink in LA?”
“Details,” I wave him off, I seem to be doing that a lot at the moment. They both look at me, the good doctor is giving me the look a mother gives a child when she’s being naughty and James is glowering at me like I just smashed his mother’s urn.
“Fine, James, let’s talk about you. Your dad died three years ago. During his time alive he had a few non discreet affairs. Yet your mom stayed. How do you think this impacted your way of growing up?”
“It made me more sensitive I guess,” he shrugs dismissively his face a blank mask. “It was tough seeing my mom cry, I never wanted to do that to anybody. My dad loved her, he just loved his adventures more.”
I listen intently as they talk about what James wants from our relationship, how sorry he is. And then comes the question. “Can you not forgive him for what he did?”
“It’s not that I don’t forgive him, I sort of get why he did what he did, sort of. I just can’t forget.”
“Your trust is broken.”
“Yeah I guess. I never even suspected, that’s why it was such a shock. It was like getting hit by a car whilst walking along a path. You think you’re safe and wham,” I bring my hands together with a clap. “It happens before you can even take a breath. Do you know the stupid thing? I thought he’d bought opera tickets or something. So I’m looking for Madame Butterfly and instead I get madam whore.” Now the words just keep coming. “And then he texts me, constantly and calls me constantly to the point where I feel the need to up and leave my job, my friends my entire life. And then this happened!” I point to my stomach as they both watch me rant. “This, fucking invader. Everything’s fine, I was moving on, then wham, I got hit by a car on another path because he’s suddenly in LA and climbing into bed with me.”
“You didn’t object!”
“Of course I didn’t I missed you. I was in a bubble of falseness. There was no real world in LA, it was all soft sands and fun times without the worries of home. You inserted yourself into that bubble.” That does make sense in my head. They both seem to understand. “And now you’re being so nice and so sweet and kind and gentle…”
“Why is this a bad thing?” Doctor Barrett asks and leans forward a little.
“Because I can’t be angry at him when he’s like this.”
“That’s bad?”
“Yes, I never got chance to be angry at him. I just walked away in shock and then he started apologizing and being all dramatic and sweet and he kept punishing himself by drinking constantly. I may be a selfish bitch but I’m not a monster. As angry as I was and still am I don’t feel like he deserves to have it rubbed in.”
She smiles like she’s struck gold and scribbles in her notebook, “You care about him very deeply.” I snort, is it that obvious? “Anger isn’t always the best solution. But sometimes a good screaming match can be good for a relationship. Have you had sex yet?”
We both shake our heads.
“Almost, she won’t let me touch her.”
“I can understand that, nothing about this whole ordeal is solved. She can’t trust you to not hurt her again. She’s used sex as an indulgence until she met you, where you then made sex about love, you made sex intimate. For her to have sex again and open herself up to you like that she’s going to need to trust you.” Well that certainly makes sense. I’m impressed doc. “Communication is the key in any relationship but I’m afraid when it comes to trust actions speak louder than words and all you can do is dedicate time to it.”
I glance at James who reaches across to take my hand, “It’s a good thing we have time.”
“Let’s go for lunch,” James suggests as we exit the building. I nod and allow him to hold my hand until we reach the car. We drive in a comfortable silence to a nearby coffee house. It’s cute and one I’ve not been to before, definitely not a franchise which is a bonus, I like helping out the little people. “What drink would you like?”
“Just a water would be great,” I respond and find us a seat in the corner. I watch the man I love stand at the counter smiling politely at the bus boy, he’s gorgeous that’s for sure. His thick brown hair needs a trim, it’s almost in his eyes and the bottom layer is halfway down his neck, it suits him though. I catch his eyes, he smiles, the amount of love and desire in that one smile melts my cold heart. There is a reason I fell in love with him. I just have to remember what it is.
The first time me and James met I think I was sixteen, he was twenty. I remember being sat on the counter in the kitchen at my dad’s house. He’d mentioned James, said he’d be a perfect protégé, now I’m wondering if he chose him for me. I think my dad always knew he’d die young. Is that weird? It just makes sense now that I think about it, my dad was always careful about the future. Particularly my future, I think he expected me to end up pregnant or on drugs or something. Even though I got good grades my partying lifestyle started out early and unfortunately never stopped. I still remember how proud he was when I graduated with honors and spent all of my free time in between college and partying, in the lab inventing.
I was sat on the counter and he stepped in the kitchen behind my father. His eyes met mine as my dad introduced us, he took my hand and held it for a little longer than necessary but I didn’t mind.
“Get us a drink will you please Maya?” my dad said softly and started talking to James about work. Just before they exited James turned and caught my eye. Any breath I had in my lungs left in a sharp blast as we held each other’s gaze. I thought I was just a dumb kid, but there was definitely a spark there. And then he ignored me for three years, well not ignored as in, if I spoke he wouldn’t talk back. He just didn’t really pay attention to me, sort of like looking straight through me. Although I couldn’t blame him, my dad was forever sending him out to search for me after one of my many failed attempts at sneaking out.
I’d like to be a romantic and think that for those few seconds he was communicating with me, telling me to wait for him, telling me I was his. But in reality I saw his eyes and five minutes later I was bragging off about the car my daddy just got me to my friends. Because I was a shallow little fool that spent her life enjoying mindless indulgences.
“Here,” James smiles and hands me a bottle of water, I take a few big gulps eagerly and thank him. “I’ll be able to take more time away from the office now Vince is trained up and have proper paternity leave.”
“That’s great news!” And it is, this means I won’t be alone with the baby after two weeks. Paternity leave really isn’t fair. All men only get two paid weeks off, I personally don’t think this is fair. Aren’t they important in the baby’s life too? Of course it’s different for us because we own the company but this feels like something we will need to change for our many staff. “Summer is coming over one night soon with Marie. I think they’re trying to rope Jessica into coming. They are also bringing magazines full of things for a baby.”
“Sounds like fun.”
; I give him an incredulous look, “Marie ratted you out. I know you suggested this to Summer.”
“Well you need to stop avoiding the issue. Fact of the matter is, you are having a baby in four months and we need to prepare.”
“Then you prepare! I’m fine in my bubble.” He opens his mouth so I shove my fingers in my ears and start ignoring him like a child, even doing the whole. “LA, LA, LA.” Yeah, take that.
He rolls his eyes and orders us a couple of pastries. “Let’s just get it over with.” He grabs my hands before I can raise them. “Together, let’s go out order a full set and all of the bits and bobs. Then everyone will stop moaning. You don’t even have to enjoy it.”
He makes a valid point. I narrow my eyes and nod, “Fine, I’ll help you buy it but you can set it up.”
“Of course,” he grins like the cat that got the cream. “Let’s go.”
I blink, “Right now?”
“Yep, let’s go.”
“But…”
“Now Maya.” He bites out. Oooh, James just got a backbone, that’s kind of sexy. There’s no way I can resist such a demanding tone.
“Are you going to spank me Mr. Freeman?” I flutter my eyelashes at him. He pinches my hip making me squeal and laugh, we grab our pastries to go and step out onto the street.
“This is so boring,” I hiss to James as we follow an older woman around the nursery furniture. Most have already been set up like they would be in an actual bedroom. “I’m going to the bed section. Wake me up in a bit.” He grips my elbow and tugs me forward as we look over a dark wood set, with a cot, swinging crib, changing station, shelves, etc. “We’ll take it.” I announce. James face palms. I know he likes this one though, his eyes lit up as soon as we looked at it when we first walked past it and again the second and again just now. The covers are cute, all beige, browns and creams. “Good with you?”
James nods. Now that’s done…
Let him have this little bit of joy.
“We still need to stock up on clothes,” James hisses in my ear.
“We’ll get all of that at the baby shower.”
“You want to have a baby shower?”
I shake my head and gag, “Definitely not but I know for a fact your mother and Summer are conspiring against me. At this rate I won’t have a choice.” He shifts nervously. “You knew! God, you people are baby vultures. We should have you all detained.”
He chuckles and follows the woman to pay. I decide to go check out the maternity clothes, there’s actually some really nice bits. Dungarees! I have got to have these! I grab them and throw them at James who catches them with a chuckle.
“It’s thanksgiving in two weeks,” I gasp suddenly and pull my gloves off. “I need to start on the Christmas shopping!”
“We’ll do that this weekend,” he climbs into the car after helping me in and starts the engine. Oh no chance is he coming Christmas shopping with me! “Or not…”
“I always do my shopping with Marie, you go do man stuff. Set the nursery up or something.” Pause. “Let’s go see a movie.”
He nods and takes my hand over the console before bringing it to his lips, “Sure but shut up during this one.” Yeah right. “And no more posters!”
“You’re the one that brought the other poster over from our old place,” I giggle and pinch his cheek. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you had a little thing for Mr. Tatum yourself.”
“Enough of the gay jokes.”
“Jokes?” I deadpan, inside I’m howling. If you could see his face now, it’s so funny. He looks like he’s not sure whether to laugh or slap me silly which makes his face scrunch up as if constipated. “Come on princess.”
“Why do I bother?” he laughs and throws his arm around my shoulders.
“Johnny Depp, nom.”
“Don’t start, I’m fucking serious Maya,” James warns and shoves popcorn into his mouth. I shovel some into my own and watch the movie, for all of ten minutes.
“Why do they always go up the stairs? Move dammit, he’s going to magically pop out of one of those rooms!”
“Magically?”
“Well yeah, in reality he’d never make it that far in such a short amount of time. Look at them, she’s a cheerleader therefor will have decent stamina. This dude works in a video store. How can he beat her up there by going all the way around? I shall tell you how, the magic of filming!”
“It’s the guy that works in the video store?”
“Duh.” Chomp, chomp. “Totally him.”
“What about the cop.”
“He’s hot.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know what you meant, it’s rare they have a hot guy as the bad guy.”
“What about Scream?”
“Those dudes were not hot, they were cute.”
“Right.”
“I need to pee.” And I really do, my bladder is fit to burst.
“You’ve just been.” So what?
“Hello,” I point to the invader. “If you don’t like girls that pee a lot maybe you should be more careful with your seed!”
“Will you two shut up!” somebody shouts from the front.
I giggle and scramble down the aisle, leaving James to sigh and shake his head in the dark. Once I make it into the well-lit hallway, I wait for my eyes to adjust before heading into the bathroom. After emptying my bladder I wash my hands and head back inside. Not before restocking on chocolate peanuts.
“What are you doing?” Yank, there go my peanuts. “You can’t eat peanuts!” He hisses and throws the bag on the seat beside him. Why can’t I eat peanuts? What’s wrong with nuts? “They could cause an allergy for the baby.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!” I snap quietly, ignoring the man a few rows down who keeps turning and sighing. “Give me my damn nuts!”
“No!”
“They’re my nuts, this is my body!”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
I narrow my eyes, he does the same, I can just see his face from the glow of the screen. “You have three seconds to give me my food or I will hurt you.”
“Do your worst.” He challenges his eyes now no more than slits.
“Three…” I’ll show him. “Two…” He still hasn’t moved. “One. Time’s up.” I lift the arm rest and lunge for the bag of chocolate nuts. He pushes me back into my seat with his hands on my titties so I sink my teeth into the curve of his ear making him hiss and grab the back of my hair in an attempt to pull me off.
“Let go!” he grunts and tugs on the back of my hair again, ouch. I grab the nuts, he grabs my arm, so I grab his nuts with my free hand and squeeze. He cries out and slides off his seat in an attempt to get me away from him, problem is I fall too and land on top of him. “Get off my damn nuts!”
“I need my nuts!” I think we’re shouting now. He manages to get the chocolate from my hands and hold them above his head, as I try to reach for them I knock the coke from the cup holder.
Cold, wet liquid spills over the back of my head and over his face followed by cubes of ice that go the opposite way, sliding down my back making me shriek. “You idiot! Look what you made me do!”
Uh-oh, the lights just came on with a dramatic click. Somebody clears their throat behind us. Oops.
“Out, now, both of you,” James lifts me to my feet, we’re both wet, covered in popcorn and at some point the bag of nuts split because I just pulled one out from between my nungas and three more just fell from my back. We look at the man who clearly works here, he looks furious, there’s the man from three rows down is stood next to him. I assume it’s him because that seat is empty. The entire room of people, which is fortunately only a third full, are staring at us.
There’s one set of eyes I find and recognize instantly, this person is laughing, laughing their ass off to be exact to the point where they are wiping tears from their face. “Your brother’s here.” I point to one of the side rows where
he’s sat with a friend of his, I don’t recognize him.
“Out!” the man repeats. I tug on my coat after pulling my sticky wet hair from my face, I must resemble the ghost girl off The Grudge right now. Or the Ring. Either one will do.
We bow our heads in shame and shuffle down the aisle. I give James an elbow in the gut making him grunt and stumble a little. Take that.
“You’re both banned,” the man is going on and on. We’re both saying sorry like grumpy children all the way to the exit. “Don’t come back.”
“HAHAHAHA!” laughter follows us out and Lucas stops in front of us. “You know, when I heard the commotion I thought this is exactly James and Maya style. Imagine my surprise when you both stood up.” He turns to his friend who looks as amused as Lucas. He’s kind of cute, in a geeky way, a little skinny and short and his blonde hair could use a wash. “I need nuts!” Lucas mimics making me glower at him. Damn it’s cold. “I’ve got to tell Marie about this.” When did he and Marie start talking?
Chapter Twelve
“She got us barred from the movie theatre,” James practically shouts. I huff and fold my arms over my chest, “He wouldn’t give me my chocolate covered peanuts!”
“Will both of you take a calming breath.” The doc says softly and brings her hands up and down in front of her chest, in the motion of a sea wave or something. “Now. Start from the beginning.”
“I bought nuts,” “She grabbed my balls.” “He wouldn’t let me eat them.” “She knocked the drink over my head.” “If he’d just given me the nuts.” “She wouldn’t listen to reason.” We point to each other, “This is all his/her fault!”
We glare at each other briefly and look away. “I’m not talking to him.”
“When did this happen?”