by L A Cotton
“Yeah but hearing about it and knowing it are different things.”
I tipped my head to the sky, letting out a strained breath. I didn’t think about that night often. The night me, Enzo, and Matteo were formally initiated. But I could still remember it as if it were yesterday.
They said your first kill changed you; well mine had tattooed itself on my soul, a blood-stained shadow that would never fade.
“Come,” my father beckoned us into the dimly lit room. I felt like a complete idiot in the all-black outfit. The floor was cold beneath my feet as I led my cousins—my two best friends in the whole world—to the table where my father stood.
I knew the drill; I’d heard enough stories about the making ceremony growing up around the boss.
“Niccolò, Lorenzo, Matteo, the time has come.” He motioned for us to approach the table. The flames from the candelabras flickered wildly, casting shadows around the room. A half-circle of my father’s most trusted men stood around him. I spotted my uncle Michele, and Enzo’s father, my Uncle Vincenzo. They all looked the same in their slacks and dress shirts, their hair neat and tidy, expressions like stone. It was no surprise; they knew what was to come.
They knew what we’d have to do.
Enzo and Matteo stood quietly, flanking each of my sides. As son of the boss, they knew I would be called first.
“Niccolò Luca, how do you arrive here tonight?” My father lifted the small dagger, light bouncing off its blade. A shiver ran up my spine. This day has been inevitable for me from the moment I took my first breath. It was in my blood.
It was my legacy.
“I come ready to take the oath,” I repeated the words I always knew I’d one day say.
My father motioned for me to give him my hand. I lay it palm open facing up, as he began. “Niccolò Luca, tonight you are reborn. The blood that flows through your veins is Marchetti blood,” he jabbed the tip of the knife into my finger, but I did not flinch, “the blood of Dominion. It means you will put first the Family above all else. You will answer the call of the Family above all else. And you will defend the Family above all else. Do you understand?”
“I do.”
He pinched my finger, letting the beads of blood drip onto the card of the saint. “Swear on the saint that you will carry the secrets of the Family always.”
“I swear.”
My father took a lighter and ignited a corner of the card, dropping it into the palm of my hand. “As she burns so too does your soul. When the flames die, you are reborn.”
The card turned to nothing but smoke and ash in my hand. I didn’t know how I’d feel, finally taking my place in the Family, but as I stood there, I felt the ties snake through me, binding me to a life I’d never asked for.
A life I had to embrace anyway.
I loved my family. I loved my father, my uncles, and my elders. But to take this oath, to swear Omertà, was to sacrifice my freedom.
The flames died out as my father’s large hand landed on my shoulder. He leaned in kissing my cheek. “La famiglia prima di tutto.”
I stepped aside, letting Enzo take my place. He repeated the same ceremony, Matteo going last. My father’s men descended on us, clapping us on the back and welcoming us to the Family. But it was all a formality. For the night was only just beginning. It wasn’t enough to take the oath and swear on the saint though. You had to prove your allegiance.
“Let us eat,” my father declared, moving to the long table set up behind us. “Tonight, we welcome my son and my nephews into the fold. Tonight, they become real men.”
My eyes lowered to Dane. He was watching me, curiosity and fear glittering in his eyes.
You should be scared.
“Enjoy senior year,” I said. “Make the most of the time you have left to be a kid. Because once you take the oath...”
I took a long pull on my beer, trying to wash down the lump in my throat.
“It’s all good.” Nervous laughter vibrated in Dane’s chest. “I’m ready,” he added.
“We’re all ready,” I said quietly. “Until the time comes.” Until they forced a gun into your bloodied trembling fist and told you to pull the trigger.
Another vibration of my cell jolted me from the dark memory. “I need to take this,” I said, standing.
“Sure thing, man. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”
“Is she okay?” I asked the second I was out of earshot.
“She’s....” Luis let out an exasperated breath. “This shit is messed up, Marchetti. Fascini is acting like he didn’t...” I heard him swallow the words.
“Did he—”
“No, no. He’s said a few things and sat there with that fucking smug smirk on his face. But for the most part, he’s been like a well-behaved dog.”
“Where is she now?”
“He ran into some friends. They’re all at the bar talking.”
“You can still see them?”
“I won’t let them out of my sight.... You know it would be so easy.” Silence fell over the line. “So fucking easy to put a bullet between his eyes. I could do it, I could—”
“No.” The words cracked my chest open. “We need to know exactly what we’re dealing with first.” If Scott and his father were somehow related to the Ricci, we needed to know. Ending Scott—no matter how much I wanted that—had to wait. We had to see this thing through.
“How are you holding up?”
Luis’ question caught me off guard. I ran a hand down my face, feeling my days old stubble beneath my fingers.
“This isn’t about me,” I ground out, unable to disguise the quiver in my voice. “It’s about Arianne.”
So long as she was okay, I would be okay.
“That girl must have balls of steel to do what she’s done tonight. But I gotta say, Marchetti, I don’t trust him. Even if Roberto has managed to negotiate a celibacy agreement, he’s a monster. I see it every time he looks at her. He’s playing by the rules now but I’m not sure how long he’ll be able to curb his hunger.”
I bristled, my eyes shuttering at his words. “Just stay on her. I need you to stay on her every fucking second.”
“I will. I’ll check in when we’re back at the apartment.”
“Thank you.”
Luis hung up but I was still staring at the screen long after he was gone. I couldn’t see past the red mist descending in my vision. Nothing about this felt right.
Not one single fucking thing.
Chapter 6
Arianne
“I want to leave,” I said through gritted teeth, forcing a smile so that Scott’s friends didn’t think I was rude.
I didn’t care what they thought but I also didn’t want to draw any attention to myself.
“Come on, baby,” Scott crooned. “Just a little while—”
“You can either take me home, or I’ll have Luis call for a car.” He was bound to have a car nearby, just in case.
Scott laughed nervously, his gaze flicking to the couple we had spent the last hour chatting with at the bar. “Don’t make a scene, Ari. Dale and Kayla are good friends. Just one more drink and then we’ll go.”
“You enjoy that drink.” I slid off the stool, gently nudging him out of the way. “I’m leaving.”
I couldn’t breathe. Between the constant fake smiles and forced laughter, the rubber band around my chest had grown tighter and tighter. If I didn’t get some fresh air soon, I was either going to faint, or say or do something I might live to regret.
“Is everything okay?” Dale asked.
Peering around Scott’s shoulder I mustered a weak smile. “Actually, I’m not feeling so good. I think we’re going to call it a night.” I slipped my purse underneath my arm and tucked a stray curl behind my ear.
“Already? The night is still young. Scott was just getting to the good part.”
I had to force myself not to roll my eyes. Scott hadn’t stopped talking. As the evening went on, it became more and more apparent he loved
the sound of his own voice. Dale had asked him about his injuries, and Scott had jumped at the chance to tell them about the night he had defended my honor against the infamous Niccolò Marchetti, who almost killed him and my cousin.
And I’d sat there silent, pretending that reliving that night wasn’t like a thousand tiny blades cutting away at my skin.
“Darling, if Arianna says she needs to go, leave them be.”
“It’s Arianne.” I almost bared my teeth at Kayla. She wasn’t trying to help me out. She was trying to belittle me, the way she had the entire night. But jealousy was a powerful motivator, and I hadn’t missed the way she’d made moon eyes at Scott ever since we joined them at the bar.
She obviously didn’t see the monster beneath the expensive clothes and wolfish grin.
“Oh, silly me.” She splayed a perfectly manicured hand on Dale’s stomach, her eyes half-lidded with lust as she let them run over Scott’s chest. His lip curled in a knowing smirk, causing a deep shudder to roll through me. They were being so blatant.
It was disgusting.
“Perhaps, you should stay?” I suggested. “I’m sure Layla would like that.”
Dale started choking as his girlfriend narrowed her eyes at me. Scott merely chuckled, grabbing my hand in his. “Jealous, love?”
I pressed my lips into a thin line.
Breathe. Just breathe.
“It’s such an unattractive quality, don’t you think?” Kayla sneered.
“Now, now ladies.” Dale let out a strained laugh. “Let’s put the claws away. Rest assured, Ari, this one knows who she belongs to.” Kayla yelped and I could only assume Dale had pinched or smacked her butt.
“Well, it was nice to meet you.” I started to pull away from Scott, silently praying he wouldn’t fight me on it.
“I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again.” Dale winked, a knowing glint in his eye.
Oh God, did he know? Had Scott already told him about the engagement?
“Enjoy the rest of your night,” I said, not sticking around to hear Scott’s parting words. I needed to get out of here.
Now.
Luis approached me, silently asking me if I was okay. I pursued my lips, nodding. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you home.” Luis pulled open the door just as Scott caught up with us.
“Vitelli, you can drive.” He thrust his keys at Luis.
“Maybe I should call for a car?”
“Worried you can’t handle her?”
Luis’ expression tightened. “I’ll drive. But you need to figure out how you’re going to get home from La Stella.”
“Maybe I’ll stay over?” Scott smirked in my direction.
I didn’t dignify his suggestion with an answer, slipping past him and leaving the restaurant. The cool air instantly hit me, and I inhaled a deep breath in a desperate attempt to temper the storm raging inside me.
“You need to learn your place.” Scott moved beside me, placing his hand on the small of my back. The intimate action was like a knife to the stomach. “Dale Manzello is a good friend and a respected businessman. It wouldn’t hurt you to show a little respect.”
“Like Kayla was showing you so much respect?” I all but spat the words.
“Careful, Principessa, I might mistake your venom for jealousy.”
I swallowed a groan.
“This is fun.” Scott dipped his head to my ear, his touch growing firmer. “It’s going to be so fucking sweet watching you kneel at my feet.”
My fingers curled into fists so tight my nails began to cut my skin.
“The car.” Luis cleared his throat and I used the moment to my advantage, stepping away from Scott and toward my bodyguard.
“Thank you,” I said as he opened the passenger side door. But Scott cut across my body, preventing my access.
“I think Ari and I will sit in the back, together.” His hand brushed my waist, lingering on the curve of my butt. “After all, we have so much reacquainting to do.” He leaned in, his breath hitting my face, his mouth so close I could almost taste the whisky on his tongue.
My vision began to blur, a crippling wave of nausea crashing over me.
“Arianne,” someone yelled as I reached out for something—anything. But it was too late. The world began to tilt, the black abyss swallowing me whole.
“ARIANNE?” LUIS’ CONCERNED expression filled my vision. “Meno male!”
“W- what happened?”
“You fainted.” He crouched down beside me. We were still on the sidewalk, a crowd of people gathered around all wearing similar expressions of concern.
“Here,” someone thrust a bottle of water at me. “You should drink something until the EMTs arrive.”
“EM—no.” I lifted a hand, swaying slightly as everything started to spin again. “I’m fine, thank you.”
“Arianne, baby, thank God.” Scott burst through the crowd. “I was worried sick.”
“Luis.” I clutched my bodyguard’s arm, confusion muddying my thoughts. “I want to go home,” I whispered.
“The car should be here any second.”
“Now hang on a minute.” Scott began to interject, but Luis straightened to his full height and the two of them had a silent conversation while a kind-faced woman gently patted my hand.
“Is it the baby?”
“Excuse me?” I sat upright.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Guilt flashed in her eyes. “I thought... early pregnancy knocked me off my feet more times than I can count.”
“I’m not pregnant.” I suppressed a shudder.
“Did you eat?”
“I’m fine. I just got a little overwhelmed.”
She nodded, offering me a sympathetic smile. “Your fiancé was so concerned. It really was very sweet. And your uncle, he seemed—”
“Uncle?”
“Is he not—”
“Arianne.” Luis loomed over us. “The car is here.”
“What about Scott?” His name was like ash on my tongue.
“I’ve made arrangements for him to get home safely. Come on.” Luis offered me his hand and I accepted, letting him pull me off the floor and onto my feet. “You good?”
“I think so.” Embarrassment burned through me, but it was nothing compared to the memory of Scott’s hand on the curve of my waist, his mouth dangerously close to mine.
I felt him watching, his stare heavy and thunderous. Glancing back, I met his eyes and held his stare. Scott was pissed, it was written all over his face. But it was more than that. There was a possessiveness in his narrowed gaze that made my body tremble. He truly believed I was his. And despite my resolve not to let him get to me, I couldn’t deny I was terrified about the lengths he would go to, to make sure I remained so.
Luis led me to the sleek, black SUV and opened the door. I climbed inside, surprised when he followed me.
“Everything good?” The driver asked. I recognized him. He was the security guy who usually stayed with Nora.
“Just drive,” Luis said gruffly.
“Are you okay?” I asked, peeking over at him.
“Shit, Arianne. That’s supposed to be my line.”
“I’m okay. I think I just...”
“It triggered you.”
“What?”
“Something Scott said or did. I think it triggered you.”
I curled my hands over the edge of the cool leather seat. “He wanted me to get in the car and it was like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t—” A garbled cry spilled from my lips.
“Hey, you’re okay.” Luis shuffled closer, pulling me into his arms. “You’re okay.”
Fisting his shirt, I sobbed quietly into his chest. Maybe he was right. Maybe Scott had triggered something. Despite everything being so raw, I had tried my hardest to switch off the memories. I refused to give them power over me. But the scars were real, and they did have power over me.
He had power over me.
I needed to accept that.
I needed to
accept it, then find a way to wield it.
“You need me to call Nicco?” Luis whispered and I shot up.
“No, you can’t tell him.” If he knew what had happened... I didn’t want to think about what he might do.
“Ari,” Luis exhaled a strained breath. “I’m not sure we should keep this from him.”
“Please, promise me. You can’t tell him, Luis. Nicco needs to stay in Boston.”
His expression softened. “Okay. But if it happens again... maybe you should see a doctor?”
“I don’t need a doctor.” I needed a miracle.
“I’m just saying, maybe talking to someone will help.”
“I just got overwhelmed. It won’t happen again.”
“Ari—”
“I’m fine, Luis.” I waved him off. “I just need to rest.”
“Then rest. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
At his reassuring words, my eyes fluttered shut and I let myself drift, desperately wanting to believe him.
“ARE YOU SURE?” NORA asked the next morning, over coffee and pancakes.
“I need the distraction. I can’t stay here all day, hiding. It’ll drive me stir crazy.”
“I get that but after last night...”
“Last night was... well, I don’t really know what last night was. But I’m fine today. I can do this. I need to do this.”
She gave me a knowing look. I’d seen it before. It was usually right before she delivered me some truth bomb.
“He raped you, Ari. Scott slipped you something and then he... hurt you.” She took a shuddering breath. “I admire your strength. I admire the fact you want to face this head on and not let him hold the power. But I also think Luis is right, you need to give yourself space to deal with this. You need help, babe. Professional help. Maybe you should give yourself some time—”
“Time?” I shot up out of my seat, coffee spilling everywhere. “I don’t need time. I need Nicco. I need for my father not to be a lying manipulative asshole. And I need to not be a pawn in some game I’m still not sure I even understand. Talking to some doctor or shrink isn’t going to give me any of that. It isn’t going to fix this nightmare I’ve found myself in.