The Auckland University Press Anthology of New Zealand Literature

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The Auckland University Press Anthology of New Zealand Literature Page 105

by Jane Stafford


  your tongue, your eyes, your frightening tears

  your giggle, your toughness, your smile

  your shudder, your sardonic forbearing, your sudden sweat

  your stoopid, your brave terror, your

  your body where I dip my chipped cup

  like a despairing pilgrim

  ah ‘my’ beautiful golden girl of the Sixties

  mother of my sons, your tired

  lovely body where I bring my terminal need

  where I stoop with cracked shaking lips

  beatup puppydog cock, sad smile

  & pounding heart, saying Show me again

  this everyday miracle

  how you bring forth such floods of seed from a fool

  (1984)

  Leigh Davis, from Willy’s Gazette

  years rising in the early morning

  as anonymous dancers like croci

  yellow and blue with round thighs

  and small wrists these cutouts

  pacing endlessly over the background,

  dans les magasins/it’s very artistic downtown.

  says Willy, carrying his thoughts like a

  pubblicazione about unfurled but

  manifold as bonbons paper is bliss

  the way it curves back the magazine a

  strange warehouse behind enemy lines,

  these ideas (but my fear of reading, Giovanni,

  when Jamayca is in the library) a cache ..

  de novo, le pa-twah de l’oiseaux

  (1983)

  Janet Charman, ‘two deaths in one night’

  in each side room

  a body

  dropped in the sheets

  after long pain

  and a look of tense

  hectic

  between breath

  fright

  we were going to a rugby party

  after work

  that night

  how we washed their bodies

  i took down the cotside

  and cut away

  the drip

  old dressings

  and the oxygen mask

  Jean said

  i’ll wash

  you hold

  i held

  the dull blank weight

  against warm me

  his unknown soldier chin

  propped up finally

  and we found a bit of carnation

  to stick between

  his tied together hands

  this was just

  the first one

  across the hall

  we started on the other

  how we washed his body

  had to laugh

  in the low light of

  sister’s

  office

  sipping tea

  waiting for the orderlies

  to load their long white parcels away

  on cold trolleys

  All that shit

  I don’t know how you girls can

  Do it

  says the lock forward

  brushing his finger into what he hopes is my breast

  Come down the beach with us—

  we went

  two deaths in one night

  (1987)

  Alistair Te Ariki Campbell, from ‘Soul Traps’

  I A Stranger from Rakahanga

  A stranger has arrived from Rakahanga.

  Nobody knows how he came:

  no strange canoe has been reported—

  none could survive in such a sea.

  Our villages are awash, and our dead groan

  as they sit up to the chin in water.

  Such a stranger, you would think, would be

  so singular, so arresting,

  once seen, nobody could forget him.

  Nobody remembers a single thing—

  the look on his face (if he has a face),

  his size, or if he is young or old.

  He arrived, some say, a few hours ago,

  others claim it is more than a week,

  since he was first seen at Omoka.

  On one thing, though, all are agreed:

  he is a traveller from Rakahanga—

  but why Rakahanga, they can’t say.

  They stand around in silent groups, expecting

  the worst—but not a thing happens.

  No deaths or accidents are reported.

  They will turn soon to urgent tasks, repair

  the storm damage, but strangely empty

  as if nursing a disappointment.

  II Sina

  You were a tender girl, Sina,

  fragrant as the komuko

  of the young coconut tree.

  Throughout our adolescence

  our entire universe

  was the bottom of a canoe

  where we lay together

  drifting among the motu.

  Every night I would pluck

  for your breasts and hair

  the flowers of the sky.

  And then one night

  we drifted far from shore

  through the scented darkness,

  oblivious of the reef

  until too late—aue!

  Now you are a woman

  lovelier even than the girl

  that loved me long ago,

  and another lover

  drinks from your calabash.

  Ru the fisherman

  knows all the secret places

  in the ocean floor.

  His spear is probing

  for an answer.

  I watch and wait.

  XIV Solomono

  To die is simply to walk

  away from the body

  without regret or pain,

  and with no thought of

  turning back, for there is

  nothing to turn back to,

  except the empty shell

  that relatives weep over.

  I have often left

  my body here at Te Tautua,

  crossed the lagoon and

  walked among my sleeping

  kinsfolk at Omoka to see

  if all was well.

  My family know my door

  must be kept open

  if I am to rejoin my body,

  but sometimes through

  carelessness they have

  almost shut me out.

  Now it is time to go,

  to walk the steep track

  to Savaiki alone. I have

  enjoined my dear ones

  to close my door firmly

  after me, when I leave

  on my last visit to Omoka.

  They weep, but will obey.

  (1985)

  Lauris Edmond, ‘The Names’

  Six o’clock, the morning still and

  the moon up, cool profile of the night;

  time small and flat as an envelope—

  see, you slip out easily: do I know you?

  Your names have still their old power,

  they sing softly like voices across water.

  Virginia Frances Martin Rachel Stephanie

  Katherine—the sounds blend and chant

  in some closed chamber of the ear, poised

  in the early air before echoes formed.

  Suddenly a door flies open, the music

  breaks into a roar, it is everywhere;

  now it’s laughter and screaming, the crack

  of a branch in the plum tree, the gasping

  and blood on the ground; it is sea-surge

  and summer, ‘Watch me!’ sucked under

  the breakers; the hum of the lupins, through

  sleepy popping of pods the saying of names.

  And all the time the wind that creaked in

  the black macrocarpas and whined in the wires

  was waiting to sweep us away; my children who

  were my blood and breathing I do not know you:

  we are friends, we write often, there are

  occasions, news from abroad. O
ne of you is dead.

  I do not listen fearfully for you in the night,

  exasperating you with my concern,

  I scarcely call this old habit love—

  yet you have come to me this white morning,

  and remind me that to name a child is brave,

  or foolhardy; even now it shakes me.

  The small opaque moon, wafer of light,

  grows fainter and disappears; but

  the names will never leave me, I hear

  them calling like boatmen far over

  the harbour at first light. They will sound

  in the dreams of your children’s children.

  (1980)

  Sam Hunt, ‘Requiem’

  They say ‘the lighthouse-keeper’s world is round’—

  The only lighthouse keeper that I know

  Inhabits space, his feet well clear of ground.

  I say he is of light, of midnight snow.

  That other lighthouse keeper—he they say

  Whose world is round—is held responsible

  For manning his one light by night; by day,

  For polishing his lenses, bulb and bell.

  My man, my friend who lately leaves, is quite

  Another type. He climbs no spiral stairs:

  But go he does, for good, to man the night;

  To reappear, among his polished stars.

  (1980)

  Suburban Gothic

  Owen Marshall, ‘Mumsie and Zip’

  Mumsie saw the car coming at five, as she had expected. The general noise of homeward traffic was at a distance; but still the desperation was apparent in the pitch of it. Zip always turned off the engine when in the gate, and coasted on the concrete strips until he was parallel with the window. The grass was spiky and blue in the poor light of winter. Mumsie had cacti on the window sill, and the dust lay amid the thorns of Mammillaria wildii.

  Zip undid his seat belt, and stepped out. He took the orange, nylon cover from the boot, and began covering the car for the night. He spread the cover evenly before he began to tie it down. Zip always started at the same corner and worked clockwise round the car. He didn’t bend to tie the corners as a woman would bend, with backside out, but crouched agile and abrupt, balanced on his toes. Sometimes when Mumsie was close to him when he crouched like that she would hear his knees pop. Mumsie wondered if there would be a day when she would go out and ask Zip not to cover the car because there was something of significance she had to attend: a premiere perhaps, or an apparently trivial summons which would become This Is Your Life, Mumsie.

  Mumsie knew Zip wouldn’t look up as he came past the window: they always reserved recognition for the kitchen when Zip came home from work. Zip would go to the lavatory, and then to their bedroom to take off his jacket and shoes. Mumsie heard him flush the bowl, and go through for his other shoes. Zip came to the stove. He stood by Mumsie’s shoulder. ‘How’s things,’ he said. The mist of the winter evening was strung through the poles and gables; the thinning hair of a very old woman. Toby McPhedron tried to kick free a flattened hedgehog from the surface of the road.

  ‘Fine,’ said Mumsie. ‘And you?’

  ‘Busy as usual,’ said Zip. ‘Just the same, Mumsie. You know how it is.’

  ‘Casserole,’ said Mumsie as Zip lifted the lid, ‘with the onions in chunks the way you like it. Chunky chunks instead of sliced up thin.’

  ‘Good on you, Mumsie, good on you,’ said Zip. ‘You know what I like all right.’ He rubbed his forehead and circled the sockets of his eyes.

  ‘So the usual day?’ said Mumsie.

  ‘You know how it is. Busy of course; always the same.’

  ‘So Mumsie’s got a casserole,’ said Mumsie.

  ‘You know I like a casserole all right,’ said Zip. Mumsie noticed how the pupils of his eyes jittered the way they often did, although his face was flat and still. He stood beside her and looked at the casserole while his pupils jittered.

  ‘You know I couldn’t get hardly a thing to dry today. There’s no wind and no sun. Hardly a thing dried. I had to take most of it off the line again and put it in the good room with the heater.’

  ‘It’s that sort of day,’ said Zip. He placed the butter and salt and pepper on the table, and cork mats with the picture of a kitten halting a ball of fluffy wool.

  ‘Mr Beresford died,’ said Mumsie.

  ‘Mr Beresford?’

  ‘The place with the new roof; two down from the corner. I heard Mrs Rose talking about it in the shop.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Zip.

  ‘So nothing of interest at work today.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ said Zip. He sat down at his place, which was facing the stove and the bench. He laid his hands one each side of his cork mat, as a knife and fork are laid.

  ‘They haven’t found the murderer yet,’ said Mumsie.

  ‘Murderer?’

  ‘Who murdered those two girls in the boatshed in Auckland. Shaved their heads I think it said. There’s a lot of sick things.’

  Zip left his hands resting on the table and he looked at the floor by the bench where the pattern on the lino had been worn away. Mumsie’s legs plodded this way and that around the kitchen, but always came back to that worn place, on which she shuffled back and forth from stove to table to bench. Zip seemed absorbed: as if that worn patch were a screen and Mumsie’s splayed shoes played out some cryptic choreography. But his black eye spots continued to jiggle, and the focus wasn’t quite right to hit the worn lino, but aimed deeper, at something behind. Zip sat still, as if conserving energy for a final effort, or as if that final effort had been made to no avail. Mumsie looked at him from time to time. ‘Mumsie’s done peas shaken in the pot with butter,’ she said, ‘and baked potatoes in their skins.’

  ‘You’re a winner, Mumsie, that’s for sure.’

  Tears began to form on the windows, and the light outside was fading quickly. ‘I like to be in my own house when it gets dark,’ said Zip. They could hear persistent traffic noise from the corner, and Toby McPhedron ran a stick along the tin fence next door.

  ‘You don’t mind about the heater on in the good room?’ said Mumsie. ‘There’s no drying at all.’

  ‘We can go there ourselves later,’ said Zip. ‘We’d have to heat one room.’

  ‘Now why would the murderer shave those girls’ heads?’ said Mumsie.

  ‘Kinky sex, Mumsie. You want to watch out.’ Zip watched his casserole with the chunky onions being served, and the potatoes blistered grey-brown, and the peas in butter glistening as emeralds.

  Mumsie talked about Mrs Rose’s visit to the dentist, about the manner of Mr Beresford’s dying third hand, about the boatshed murderer and the good room doorknob which just came off in her hand. The tears made tracks down the windows, and those tracks showed black, or spangled back the kitchen light. Mumsie talked of a party at the Smedley’s which they weren’t invited to, and how either a niece or a cousin of Debbie Simpson’s had a growth in her ear which might be pressing on her brain. Zip said, ‘Is that right, Mumsie,’ and nodded his head to show that he was listening, and in satisfaction as he crunched the casserole onions done in chunks as he liked them: and he kept looking at things deeper than the worn lino by the bench. Mumsie wondered if she should take some pikelets along to Mrs Beresford, or whether she would only be thought nosey because she hadn’t really known him. A dog had torn Mrs Jardine’s rubbish bag open again, and Mrs Jardine had to clean it up in her good clothes when she came home at lunchtime, Mumsie said.

  The winter night, the lizard voice of the traffic at a distance, the condensation on the windows, all intensified the artificial light of the kitchen where Mumsie and Zip ate their casserole, until it was a clear, yellow space separate from the rest of life; independent even from the rest of their own experience, and isolating them there—Mumsie and Zip.

  ‘Mumsie,’ said Zip, ‘now that was a real casserole, and don’t worry about the doorknob, because I can get that bastard back on la
ter.’

  ‘I knew you’d like it, being winter and that. And there’ll be enough for you tomorrow.’

  Zip lit a cigarette as he stood by the bench and waited to help with the dishes. He pulled the smoke in, and his eyelids dropped for a moment as the smoke hit deep in his lungs. In a long sigh he breathed out. The smoke drifted, the colour of the condensation on the window, and Zip had the tea-towel folded over his arm like a waiter and stood before the plastic drip tray as he waited for the dishes. ‘I’ll put the rest of the casserole in something else,’ said Mumsie, ‘and then the dish can be soaked. There’s always some bubbles out and bakes on the rim.’

  ‘Let it soak then, Mumsie,’ said Zip.

  ‘Don’t let me miss the start of the news. Maybe they’ve found the boatshed murderer.’ Mumsie liked everyone to be brought to justice. Zip dried the forks carefully, pressing a fold of towel between the prongs. He tapped the ash from his cigarette into Chamaecereus silvestrii on the sill.

  ‘It’s just as well we’re not in the boatshed belt,’ he said.

  ‘But it could be anyone, Zip.’

  ‘Except Mr Beresford, Mumsie. I’d say he must be in the clear.’

  ‘No, I meant it could be any woman. It said on the talkback that these things are increasing all the time.’

  Zip spread the tea-towel over the stove top, and shuffled the cork mats into symmetry so that the images of the kittens and the wool were in line. He stood by Mumsie as she wiped the table, and then he sat there and put down a plastic ash tray. Mumsie told him not to pick at the contact because it was already tatty, so Zip rotated his cigarette packet instead; standing it alternately on end and side, over and over again. His fingers were nimble, and the packet only whispered on the table as it turned. ‘We’ll go through to the good room soon,’ said Mumsie, ‘seeing the clothes are already in front of the heater there.’

  ‘That’s right,’ said Zip. He sighed, and the smoke came like dust from deep in his lungs, and drifted in the yellow light. ‘Another day another dollar,’ he said.

  ‘Just another day, you said.’

  ‘That’s right. Another day,’ said Zip. He tapped with his finger on the cigarette above the ash tray; a column of ash fell neatly and lay like a caterpillar.

  ‘How many of those have you had today?’ asked Mumsie.

  ‘Five or six.’

  ‘Mumsie’s going to have to hide them, or you’ll be up to a packet a day again.’

  ‘You’re a tough lady all right,’ said Zip.

 

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