The Auckland University Press Anthology of New Zealand Literature

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The Auckland University Press Anthology of New Zealand Literature Page 121

by Jane Stafford


  Non-violence is a choice it ain’t no fucken rule

  Baldheads need to heed respect or get a bullet in the neck

  Fuck the sellouts that grovel in our face

  Remember Dominic Kaiwhata, Paul Chase

  Like brother Moana Jackson justice done for self

  Burn down that wicked courthouse

  Like Dun I’ll dis the Queen the hypocrite

  Cause LKJ told me England’s just a fucken bitch

  I’m a field nigger a warrior night and day

  Fuck it! I’m here to stay Hardcore

  Check the Independence Declaration

  To state beyond question that Maōri are a nation

  Like Crazy Horse we know the White man’s ways

  How the Muthafuckas neva hear our say

  Like Kamehameha in Hawaii fighting for the land

  Like the Mohawk nation take the righteous stand

  Do you remember Maioro, Takaparawha

  Disdainful Babylon dem disrespected my mother

  Check Malcolm X, the heart, the influence

  Like Brother Syd Te Ahi Kaa we don’t sit on the fence

  Hear Farrakhan I love the voice of Truth

  Marcus Garvey well deep in the roots

  Like Steve Biko when the odds are down

  I’ll neva bow my head to the bumpnut clowns

  Fuck fitting in, Babylon’s corrupt

  I’m hardcore till the battles up

  The spirit of resistance comes supreme

  The wicked nah know what I mean

  Like Pilger expose their wickedness

  Until the bullshit’s overcome

  There’ll be no fucken rest

  Like Puerto Rico, Panama, Tahiti

  You picked a fight with me

  At the battle Wounded Knee

  Like Parihaka, your vileness is clear

  A brother like me will never grow despair

  Fuck CNN, the CIA, the F B fucken I

  I’ll big up the righteous until the day I die

  Like Kanaky, fight French intervention

  Fuck Uncle Sams imperial intentions

  Stand up indigenous rights

  Like the Hauhau remember our plight

  ’Cause Muthafucka’s I’ll neva lose sight

  ’Cause Bob Marley told me don’t give up the fight

  Ain’t swearing for the sake of it

  It’s just a quicker way of sayin’ shit

  If you can’t dig it then ya slip

  I goes way back by fact of my whakapapa

  Always comin’ hard from the tribe Ngāti Raukawa

  Tainui the waka I’m from

  E Tū ya know I’m standing strong

  I belong in this land Aotearoa

  Discovered long ago by my mighty Tūpuna

  So I’m on a high, dedicated many many years

  Fight against the racist, he missed I resist

  Blissed out with the knowledge of victory I’ll neva stop

  Drop solid props like I said to the struggle

  Fed well from the words ya hear I’m saying it

  No Shit

  Hardcore

  (1994)

  Patricia Grace, from Cousins

  Walked enough, and didn’t know how she had come to be in the middle of the road. Couldn’t remember leaving the footpaths where she’d walked this afternoon, this morning, earlier, before, when?

  Middle of the road, not moving. One foot not placing itself in front of the other. Hands not paddling—this side, that side—helping her forward. Eyes not looking out but looking down instead, at two feet. At two big-toe toenails cracked, grooved, blacked, crusted and hoofed. Rusty saws. And at the next-toe toenails fluted and humpy, hooked and clawed, scratch-picking at the tarry middle of the road. Middletoe toenails? Left one gone, right one worn down, nearly gone. It was a grey, sick-skin colour, like part of a nerveless tooth, gaudy like a bruise, like a battering, like a tatter, like a ripped scrap. Next-toe toenails, left and right were underfolded beneath the middle ones, joint bones poking up white, the two bone lumps propping up dirty skin. Then the little-toe toenails had ingrown, biting the toe skin, the toe flesh. There was blood and dirt. One could be the other, dirt or blood. Some of the dirt was tar from middle-of-the-road walking. Didn’t remember leaving the footpaths to walk the middle of the road.

  All day walking the footpaths. At first not on the cracks, but after that, anywhere where her feet placed themselves, one down, one forward, then the down one forward. Hands had paddled her—one hand and then the other—trapping air and thrusting it back. Her handful of air, then not hers, paddling back to wherever it would go.

  Foot dust too. A puff of dust from under one foot shuffling backwards. Hers, not hers. Then from under the other, back and gone. Unowned. Nothing owned nothing owed as she’d made her way, spoken to only by signs which said: Cross, Wait, Switch Go Slow, Keep Clear, King Bun, Red Hot Specials, Neon Tops, Book Exchange, Open, Natural Health, Sticky Filth, Vacancy, Family Planning, Showing Daily 6 and 8 p.m., Travel Rarotonga Hawaii, Apply Within, Way Down Sale, Sorry We Are Closed, Stow It Don’t Throw It, Greenstone, Shark Teeth, To Clear, Caution Fire Engine, Natural Health, Take A Closer Look, Caf … Paradiso, BYO, One Hour Photos, Conjugal Rights, Unauthorised Vehicles will be Towed Away. And breath, hers, not hers. Out of breath.

  Now she stood in the middle of the night, in the middle of the tarry road. No one, only herself. No shoppers now, no workers or kids on skateboards, no joggers, movie-goers or night walkers. The doorways, over-ramps and parks had taken in the pale old men and the dark children who were the street people. No cars, no trucks or vans, no boy on a bike, no girl running—no woman watching, turning her head, staring from the window of a late bus going by.

  Back there somewhere she had left the bad-luck cracks under the shop verandahs where she’d stepped past windows of shoes, skirts, dresses, nighties, lingerie, pantyhose and scarves. Past sweatsuits on racks, T-shirts on carousels, jackets and jeans, singlets and underpants, socks, pyjamas and ties. Silk flowers, gauze butterflies, masks and mirrors, Mickey and Donald, good-luck crockery, brass plates, water sets, fruit imitations, crystal balls and bowls and plastic chandeliers. Past hairdressers, photographers, jewellers, preachers, singers, sniffers and paper sellers. Hot bread, Chicken Spot, fruit and vegetables, fish and chips, buns, cakes, bread, pasties and pies, fish steaks, paua fritters, fillets of fish, crayfish, octopus, mussels in brine.

  All day. But now in the middle of the tarry road she sat, pitchy-footed, feet and ankles specked with spotchy tar, breathing in and out, huffs and whiffs of breath going to wherever they would go. Sitting. Middle of the tarry road. Middle of the undark night, which was orange coloured, lit by the orange street lights and the spiky stars.

  Down, tar. Up, stars. Tar stars. Stars, stares. After everyone had gone there’d been one bus, one late bus. Running girl gone, boy on a bike gone. The lost kids and lost old men had stepped into doorways, alleys, schoolyards, parks, and gone. There was just herself on the street side, walking, and from the passing bus a woman had looked out, staring in surprise from the bus’s window. And now, once more, there was just herself, sitting, tar-gazing—her own black self, one dress and one saggy coat with big pockets, one shoe in each pocket, heels on the shoes worn down and two round holes in two soles. In one of the pockets there was a photograph in a frame. Somewhere back there, after the push and hustle, the fast cars and the buses rushing, she had bent, taken off one shoe and then the other and pocketed them.

  When?

  After that she’d walked again, and her feet, not her shoes, had flat-stepped over the already-gone footsteps of the people gone—over today’s and yesterday’s footprints of people striding, dawdling, staggering, dodging, zigging and zagging. Many footprints of many people. Her own wide feet had walked over them, foot over foot.

  Then at the edge of the footpath she’d waited, back there in the undark dark, waited with a shoe in each pocket while the late-night bus bussed thro
ugh over the recently tarred road, through the middle of the night-time.

  The face she’d seen was a face like her own, wide and dark, with a thick frame of hair turning white, and there’d been surprise in the eyes that met hers. The bus beat its way onward and their eyes had held until the bus became a shape, a dimmer and dimmer light on the long road.

  She’d stepped off the footpath then, out from under the shop verandahs with her pocketed shoes, to walk the middle of the road, still churning words through her mind, words to do with shops and goods, signs and messages—from hairdressers and supermarkets, laundrettes, fishmongers, butchers, coffee shops, florists, dentists, photographers, jewellers and pharmacists. To do with home-goers, park and doorway sleepers, light and stars, dark and walking, a woman turning, feet and faces, steps and stepping. She had crisscrossed her mind with words that were not thoughts, words that would not become thinking. Then she’d stopped.

  Where? Didn’t want to ask where or why, or to have thoughts that lead to thinking. Only wanted hands in shoes in pockets and just herself, her own ugly self, with her own big feet and big hands, her own wide face, her own bad hair, which was turning white, springing out round her big head. One coat, one dress. Shoes on their last legs or last feet or in their last pockets, a photo in a frame, and her name.

  She wanted what up to now she’d tried not to have—just herself, which was what she’d always had. Just herself and her name, Mata Pairama. Mata Pairama sitting on the road, breathing in and out, having thoughts but not thinking. Having thoughts that sometimes coiled, hunched against themselves waiting for a forgetful moment when they would become the thinking, become the questioning—the where, the why, the what—become once again the beginning of the answer search, the beginning once again of waiting.

  But there would be no more waiting, no more seeking answers to questions thready already from fingering, because she knew now that there were no answers, unless the answers were ‘Nowhere’‘No reason’‘Nothing’‘No one’.

  Nothing and no one, only herself and her name, a dress, a coat, hands in shoes in pockets. Mata Pairama. There was a photo in a frame and two feet to walk her. She was her own self, ugly.

  (1992)

  Writing Back

  Glenn Colquhoun, ‘A Problem While Translating the Treaty of Waitangi’

  A pakeha version:

  A Maori version:

  THE FIRST ARTICLE

  THE FIRST ARTICLE

  I am the boss.

  You are the boss.

  THE SECOND ARTICLE

  THE SECOND ARTICLE

  I am the boss.

  You are the boss.

  THE THIRD ARTICLE

  THE THIRD ARTICLE

  Now that’s sorted out put some clothes on, pay your rates, get a job and find a lawyer.

  How about those muskets?

  (1999)

  Bernadette Hall, ‘Poem in the Matukituki Valley’

  for my mother d. 1995

  I know some things

  like you’d rather have seen a rotary

  clothesline in my garden than roses

  and when I dedicated my book of poems

  to you, you hammed it up, mock horror,

  with ‘Jesus, what next!’

  So coming down from the mountains

  when Rae asked me what you would have thought

  of it all, the grandeur, the excess,

  the jade water, the yellow starred flats,

  the black peaks with snow like orca leaping,

  I had to say that I didn’t have a clue,

  perhaps something like what a fuss about nothing!

  and now at night, as the comet works its way

  across the greybright sky, I see no sign

  that you like Caesar have become a god,

  you are far too reliable to be a god,

  but rather the gauzy face of a woman,

  hair streaming, running with a baby in her arms,

  saving me again and again from the burning house.

  (1997)

  Michele Leggott, from ‘Blue Irises’

  1

  I wanted to mouth you all over

  spring clouds spring rain spring

  tenderness of afternoons spent

  blazing trails to this

  place where breath roars through

  the famous architecture of a poet’s ear

  Rose and peony buds and tongue

  ichthyous tumble honey and pearl—

  the runner’s foot has touched and adored

  wistaria sprang after you, figs tipped

  green air astounded by your passage

  to the audient quays of the city

  Now it begins, another voyage after nemesis

  blue-eyed with the distance of it all

  3

  From the corner of this mouth take

  kisses that begin in moonlight

  and pitch slow fire over a history of you

  reeling in the universe Rhapsode

  you and I have some walking to do, some

  stitching together of the story so far, its feat

  of silence, of sleeping lightly and listening

  for the touch that outstrips all sense

  in the hour before dawn Look we have come

  to the walled garden See how the roses burn!

  The lovers in the fountain spoon each other up

  their drenched talk stretches the library resources

  and when pubis and jawbone snick into place

  you face my delight an uncontrollable smile

  4

  Honeyed learning! I traced her once

  to an island in spring, pointilliste mouse-ear

  drifting down the margins Then she was

  phlyctena in the eye of the sea-ear reworking

  a disturbance in my name I found wild choral

  allusions and scents that drew a white bee

  to not-madness in the folds of her blue gown

  This morning the whole world is wet wistaria

  battered gutters running and everything drowning drunk

  extends a big hand for the reprise

  Which comes Up the road on small trees

  is a honey blue inflorescence I can’t name

  When the gardeners say cyanotis trust your ears

  though rain fall into an open mouth

  5

  She made him a porpoise gills a-snort

  because it was so hard to configure that body

  The words weren’t there or they rolled over

  and supplied mermaids and mariners For him

  the language is a woman’s body and she

  will stand out in the rain a hundred years

  running it back at him Hast ’ou seen the rose

  in the steeldust (or swansdown ever?) Have

  you seen a falcon stoop? Hast thou found a nest

  softer than cunnus? Can yee see it brusle

  like a Swan? O so white! O so soft! O so sweet

  is she The sonneteer coughs sneaks

  another look at her dolphin scores out

  the ellipse after his vibrant tail

  17

  Suppose, sweet eyes, you went into a distant country

  mad with the honey and the noon in your throat

  a fiery drizzle of rip and glory asking: Where

  are the words that broke the heart with beauty?

  Not as plains that spread into us slowly, but as

  a wind wet with carillons or winter’s cold isthmus

  in the azure year, you will find the frontiered heart

  and write a script of stars across its salt and snow

  Birds that think in oceans come and go, their chart

  behind their eyes that scarcely sleep Your mouth’s adrift

  with ghosts of fire the salt has burned to noontide

  blue Your sweetness ripples through the rain

  of a country to which you may never return You

  are the still caesura tha
t breaks a line in two

  (1994)

  Maladies

  Bernadette Hall, ‘Anorexia’

  these are the acts of power

  to give birth to kill

  you have a new notion

  *

  in a monochrome of beige sheep & paddocks

  you try to say your unclear thing

  you curl up like a wild rabbit

  *

  living out now in the open

  you are the original food

  (1994)

  Wystan Curnow, from Cancer Daybook

  where’s the

  humour

  in a

  tumour

  26.7.82

  cut it

  out cut

  it out

  27.7.82

  Now that

  I

  have it

  (death)

  in my

  sentence

  I’m the

  more

  composed.

  27.7.82

  (1989)

  Peter Wells, ‘When My Brother Got Thin’

  It was the smell. It wasn’t that it was offensive. It was just an old, rather tired smell—of an exhausted building. It was a shopping centre which had passed its use-by date. Most of the original occupants had shifted out and hollowed out refits, unsubtly gutted, still sprouted signs screaming Cost Cutter and all the other illiterate jumble. Even the lighting seemed peculiar. The wattage was turned down low, so the interior had a sort of seamy, endless day-for-night feeling—as if you were caught inside a building at 4 a.m., and there was no one to let you out.

  Or perhaps that was just how I was feeling.

  My mother had been mad, now, for over six months. It had begun with a phone call—the slippage, I guess you would call it. She rang me and said she felt certain the sewer pipe under the house was about to explode.

  I chose—perhaps I had no choice, perhaps at that stage I wanted to believe she was sane—to treat her enquiry rationally. My brother and I went to see her. We inspected the evidence. And even when there appeared to be no basis for my mother’s anxiety, still we got a plumber out who looked at the situation and informed us that there was nothing wrong.

 

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