“Okay.”
“Austin’s had some behavioral problems.”
“Well, that’s to be expected, isn’t it?” Stephen asked.
“Yes.” Marcus nodded. “Unfortunately, there’s no way around it after what he’s been through. A child’s brain is simply not wired to cope with situations like that. So anger is common. Emotional volatility. He’s completely checked out of school. He’s bright, but he isn’t able to apply himself at this point. And it’s compounded by him being LGBTQ.”
“Him and his sister?” Russ asked.
Marcus looked vaguely confused. “I’m sorry?”
“Well, Austin and Amy Nash both mentioned Kellie was dating a woman.”
“Ahh. Yes. Well, it’s not unheard of for there to be two LGBTQ kids in a family.”
“No, I get that.” Stephen frowned. “Is it improper if we ask how Austin identifies? I mean, I’d love to let him come to us about that when he’s ready, but I’d also like to know if there are things we need to be doing to help him.”
“To my knowledge, he’s described himself as pansexual; Kellie is a lesbian.”
Stephen blinked. He had only really become aware of some of the other sexualities in the past few years and he’d learned a hell of lot more since he’d begun working at the center. When he was thirteen? He wouldn’t have known what that was. He hadn’t really even known what gay was. “So he’d be attracted to boys and girls, right?”
“Yeah. Or trans or gender non-binary people,” Marcus said. “Basically, it’s all about the person rather than the gender.”
Right. Okay. Wow. This was a whole new world. Stephen would argue that Austin was only thirteen and that he couldn’t possibly know what he liked at this stage in his life, but at that age, Stephen had definitely known he was different than the other boys in school. Austin, and kids like him, simply had access to the kind of information about all of this he’d only dreamed of. “Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Stephen said. “He’s open-minded.”
“And clearly you are too,” Marcus said with a smile.
Stephen sighed. “Truthfully, I know nothing about it. I have my experience as a gay man, but that’s it. I can promise I’ll do my best to learn and support him.”
“Hell, I wish all of our foster parents were like you,” Marcus said. “The worst is when kids get placed with non-LGBTQ-friendly homes.”
“Isn’t that something you ask about?” Russ asked, sounding appalled. Stephen patted his leg, knowing this was a topic likely to get him riled up. He shot Stephen a sheepish smile as he sat back.
Marcus seemed to let the words flow over him without any visible reaction though. “We don’t know unless the kids tell us—which they rarely do—or until it becomes a problem. Most often, it becomes a problem.”
“Ugh.”
Marcus gave Russ a tight smile. “I couldn’t agree more. But these kids do not trust anyone. They are already convinced no one is safe to confide in and their home lives have often reinforced they’re definitely not safe disclosing their sexual identity or gender orientation.”
“That’s understandable,” Stephen said. “If heartbreaking.”
“It is. And we’re short on foster parents as it is. Finding ones who are suited for the needs of an LGBTQ kid are even rarer so it’s very common that when these kids come out or—more often—are discovered, the families don’t feel they’re a good fit. Particularly for trans kids, but that’s a whole separate issue.” A weary expression crossed his handsome face, and Stephen could see the weight he had to carry because of this job.
“I would imagine,” Stephen said.
“So you see why we’re very eager to have prospective parents like the two of you,” Marcus said dryly. “I have dozens of kids in just my caseload who would benefit from a home like yours.”
“I think committing to one would be the best,” Russ said, a hint of humor in his voice.
Marcus chuckled and a little weight seemed to slip from his shoulders. “I agree. I do think Austin could be a good fit for you, though.”
“How so?” Stephen asked.
“Well, it’s clear you have a lot of stability to offer. You both have excellent careers with some flexibility in taking time off. Your income level is of course helpful. And all of those things would be beneficial to him. Being an only child would give him the time and attention he needs. Plus, your personal histories would give you a starting point to connect with Austin, and it would help him enormously to grow up in a happy same-sex household.”
Those were all things Stephen had considered too, but it was good to get confirmation on that.
Marcus smiled at them. “And while your experience helping out your friend isn’t exactly the same, it’s clear you’re both willing to reach out to someone in need, offer guidance and stability, and understand that another person joining your household will cause some disruption.”
Stephen nodded and out of the corner of his eye, saw Russ do the same.
“Of course, this would be magnified. The challenges of a long-term foster placement and adoption for someone Austin’s age and with the history he’s had can’t be understated.”
“We understand,” Russ said. “But neither of us are afraid of hard work. I can’t say I’ve been perfect at asking for help when I’ve needed it, but I’ve grown a lot in that regard in the past few years. And if it comes to a choice between swallowing my pride and taking care of Austin, he will come first.”
Marcus smiled. “Austin doesn’t need perfect parents. He just needs ones who won’t give up on him without a fight.”
Russ lifted his chin. “Well, then we’ve got this.”
“Excellent.” Marcus straightened in his chair. “Are you ready to get to know him a little better?”
“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Stephen said with a smile.
“He’s just a kid,” Russ said. “It’ll be fine.”
Just a kid, yes. But a kid who Russ clearly wanted to foster and potentially adopt, and Stephen felt like this moment would determine the rest of their future.
That was no small thing.
“Austin? Are you ready to go talk to Russ and Stephen?” Marcus asked.
He shrugged and looked up from the graphic novel he’d been staring at. “I guess.”
“Hey.” Marcus crouched down so they were at eye level. “I know this is hard. I know having to find a new family really, really sucks. But they seem like really good guys. And you know Russ a bit. You obviously trusted him enough to reach out to him when you needed help.”
“Yeah.” Austin stared at a spot just past Marcus’s ear.
“And you know I wouldn’t suggest them if I thought it was a bad fit, right?”
“I guess.”
Marcus sighed as he stood. “Okay, let’s do this then.”
“Hey, Austin,” Russ said as he and Marcus walked into the room.
“Hey.”
Russ gave him a big smile. “This is my husband, Stephen.”
Austin eyed them up and down warily. They were kind of a weird couple. Stephen was definitely way older, and he had silver hair and everything, but his face didn’t look super wrinkly or anything. He was all fancy with his suit on, and Russ was dressed up too, although he didn’t have a tie on. They probably came from work, but it was still stupid. What were they trying to do? Impress him?
“Hello, Austin.” Stephen smiled too. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Why don’t we all have a seat?” Marcus asked. “I’ll be here if you have any questions, but otherwise, feel free to talk like I’m not even around.”
“Yeah, I know the drill,” Austin said. He dropped into the chair with a sigh. God, this was stupid. He just wanted to go to the center and read and ignore everyone. He wanted Kellie to find a home for them so he could stop living in foster homes. He didn’t want to pretend to be happy and like he was going to be the perfect foster son. What was the point? No matter how good he was, everyone left anyway.
“So, we’ll start by telling you a little about us, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah.” At least then he didn’t have to talk.
“We live in a condo in Midtown,” Stephen said. “You’d have your own bedroom, of course, and your own bathroom. There’s no yard, but there’s a pretty big balcony. We do a lot of grilling out there. And Piedmont Park is within walking distance. Does that all sound okay with you?”
Austin raised an eyebrow. If that was okay with him? He didn’t get asked that a lot. He took what he got in foster homes. The Nashes had tried, but they were leaving, and they hadn’t asked him if that was what he wanted. “Sure,” he said warily.
“If you came to live with us, we’d want you to feel like you belonged there. So if there was anything you needed, we wouldn’t want you to hesitate to ask. Obviously, it’ll have to be within reason, but we want to be sure it feels like your home too.”
Austin eyeballed them again. So yeah, lots of money and they wanted to show it off. Fine. He wouldn’t complain about that. Maybe they’d buy him that drawing software if he was well-behaved enough.
“Do you have any questions for us?” Russ asked.
“Um, will I be changing schools?”
They looked at each other. “Well, that’s sort of up to you. We do have the option to send you to your current school for the rest of the year. And we can look into it for next year as well, although it would require us driving you to and from school, which would be more difficult with our work schedules, but we would absolutely figure out a way to make it work if that was something you really wanted. We don’t want you to leave your friends and—”
“Can I switch schools now?” he blurted out.
They looked at each other again. “Sure. There’s a very good middle school nearby and—”
“Yeah, I want to do that.”
Stephen leaned forward. “Is there a reason you don’t like your current one?”
Austin squirmed. “Um, they all know I’m a foster kid and that my dad’s in jail and it’s just …” He shook his head. He was tired of the taunts and the kids looking at him funny. Like they were sorry for him. And it wasn’t like he had any real friends anyway.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Austin.” The weird thing was, he thought Stephen was actually sorry. “I’m sure that’s very hard,” he continued. “If you’d like a fresh start, that’s totally understandable. We can do a tour of the new school as well, to make sure it’s a good fit. Although it does get very high ratings and—”
“It’s fine. As long as I don’t have to go back to where I am now.” He squirmed under the scrutiny. “Could I still go to the center?”
“Of course,” Russ said. “We’d never want to keep you from there. We can make sure that happens. There will be rules though.”
He straightened a little. “Rules?” Great, they were going to be those kind of parents.
“Well, homework has to be done. It’s your priority.”
He rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Why?”
“Because doing well in school gives you more opportunities.”
Stephen looked really serious. “Austin, Russ and I both grew up without any money.”
“Basically next to none,” Russ said. “My mom left when I was a kid and for a long time my dad was on disability because of a work injury. I never went through what you dealt with, but I definitely didn’t have it easy. Stephen grew up on a struggling farm. We’re both doing well now, but we didn’t have it handed to us. We worked hard for everything we got.”
“So while we want to give you a lot of opportunities we never had,” Stephen said, “we also want you to understand the value of hard work. So yes, homework is a requirement. We know you’ve been struggling in school, but most of your teachers have said you’re a bright kid; you just don’t apply yourself.”
“It’s so boring.”
“Then we’ll find a way to make it un-boring,” Stephen said with a smile.
Great, rich nerd dads.
“What’s your favorite subject in school?” Russ asked.
He shrugged. “I dunno.”
“There must be something you like.
“Um, I read a lot.” Maybe that would impress them.
“What do you like to read?”
“Graphic novels.” That probably wasn’t so impressive. Lots of the homes he stayed in told him he needed to read real books.
“Oh, right.” Russ gave him a big smile. “I remember seeing you read them at the center. I don’t know much about them. Maybe you could teach me.”
Ugh. “Sure.”
“Do you play any sports?” Stephen asked.
“I kinda like soccer, but I’ve never played on a team.”
“I watch baseball. I played in college too.”
“That always looks boring.”
“Have you ever been to a stadium to see a live game?”
“No.”
“If you’d like, we could do that some time,” Russ offered.
“I guess.”
“We have a pool on the roof and there’s a fitness center in the building too. So you can definitely be active.”
God, they were trying so hard to sell him this perfect life.
“Do you have any more questions for us?” Stephen asked.
Ugh, they were really going to make him work for this. “So you’re married?” He really didn’t care, but maybe it would make them talk so he didn’t have to.
“Yes,” Russ said. “We got married two and a half years ago. Would you like to see a picture from the wedding?”
“I guess.”
Russ slipped his phone out of his pocket and brought up his lock screen.
Austin studied it for a moment. They were wearing suits and kissing. Rich nerd dads in love. “You’re on a beach.”
“Yes, that’s Hilton Head in South Carolina. We had to go there because it wasn’t legal in Georgia then.”
Stephen leaned forward. “So we want you to know we support whoever you love.”
“Right.”
“Or not,” Russ added. “If you decide you’re asexual or aromantic that’s fine too.”
Austin tried not to roll his eyes. Oh my God, do they ever shut up?
“Cool.” He tried to look happy about it. Happy that he’d have gay dads who knew what all of the colors on the rainbow meant. And yeah, it was better than someone telling him he was going to hell for being pan. He’d met plenty of kids at the center who had to put up with that, and it sucked. He didn’t want that. But he was tired of going to new homes and having to pretend like he was just going to help them make the perfect little family.
He just wanted to go back to the time when his mom was alive, and Kellie was around. Or before his dad totally fucked everything up. But even once he was in prison and it had just been Austin and his mom and Kellie in the house on Murphy Court, it had been pretty good. His mom worked a lot, but he remembered curling up on the couch with a blanket, watching movies, and eating popcorn. His mom on one side and Kellie on the other. And now his eyes burned and his throat hurt because he knew it would never happen again. He looked down and played with the string of his hoodie.
These guys were nice enough and they meant well, but they weren’t Mom and Kellie. They weren’t family, and they never would be.
“So what do you think? Do you want to give us a chance?” Stephen asked.
Austin snorted as he looked up. “Do I want to give you a chance? Like I even get a choice.”
“You do get a choice,” Russ said. “We’ve discussed it with Dan and Marcus here, and if this isn’t a good fit for you, we don’t want to force it.”
“But like … you’ll have to put me somewhere, right?” He looked at Marcus.
“If we haven’t found a placement for you by the time the Nashes leave, you’ll go to the group home. There will always be space for you there, Austin,” Marcus said. “But I know that is far, far from ideal. And we’d like you to find a more permanent placement. It wou
ld be better for you. There’s more stability. More opportunities for you to have a normal life. Living with a couple like Russ and Stephen would give you that. And I’ll be honest, you know we don’t have nearly enough foster families who are either LGBTQ-friendly or LGBTQ themselves.”
Austin glanced over at Russ and Stephen. They seemed like they might be a little annoying, but they probably weren’t going to treat him bad. “So, like, this is probably my best shot?”
Russ opened his mouth, like he was going to argue, but Marcus nodded. “Realistically, yeah. Russ and Stephen are in a great financial position. They have stable jobs and no other children. They understand some of the unique challenges that come from being part of the community because they’ve been there themselves. It doesn’t get much better than that.”
Austin thought about the other homes he’d been in. The places with too many kids and not enough money. The people who tolerated him but just wished he’d stop being so much himself. There had to be a catch here, but he didn’t know what it was. They didn’t look like creepers or anything. He thought about Kellie always warning him to be careful about that. Maybe creepers didn’t always look like creepers though. Still, Russ and Stephen seemed okay. Russ was kind of annoying and he tried too hard, but he’d been nice to him. Neither of them looked at him weird or gave him that gross feeling he’d gotten from one of his teachers a few years ago. And maybe Marcus was right. Maybe this was the best shot he had.
“Yeah, okay,” he agreed. “Let’s do this.”
“This is going to be great,” Russ said with a smile. “For all of us.”
Austin kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t holding his breath on that one.
NINE
“Hey there.” Jeremy kissed Stephen on the cheek. “What’s the occasion for this shindig? Russ’s birthday was back in November and yours was in January. We just celebrated Evan’s last month and mine isn’t until the end of April.”
“Nosy,” Stephen teased. “What if I just wanted to see you all?”
Jeremy gave him a look. “With as busy as you two are … No. You rarely have people over unless it’s for a specific reason. If I didn’t come here for poker night, I’d never see you.”
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