by Linda Huber
‘I’ll pick you up at the airport, and I’ll make sure we can talk to the police either today or tomorrow. I’m so glad you’re coming, Suze.’
She was, too, thought Amanda as she smeared sun cream over Jaden’s face and arms. ‘Nana’s coming,’ she told him, and he nodded seriously. Did he understand? It would be interesting to see if he recognised Suze. She held out her hand. ‘Come on, lovey. Let’s go and see if Soraya’s home yet.’
Jaden’s face lit up. ‘So-soa!’
Love surged through Amanda. What a sweetie he was.
As soon as they turned into Cedar Road Amanda saw the police cars in Ella’s driveway. Oh – they were still investigating. But she could still walk past and see what there was to be seen.
No new activity was evident in Ella’s garden, however, and Amanda was striding towards the corner when she heard her name. Oh no. Ella’s policeman neighbour was in his garden. Reluctantly, she turned back, meeting him by the fence.
‘Ella’s gone into town to hire a car,’ he said, looking at her in his direct way.
Amanda gripped the buggy, her brain whirling. Did he suspect anything? It seemed best to concentrate on Ella.
‘Oh, I wish she’d said. I could have run her places.’
‘I offered too, but she wants to be independent.’
‘Will she get back into her house soon?’
‘They’re finishing up now. She doesn’t care much about that, though, she’s so worried about Soraya.’
Amanda looked at Jaden in the buggy. She knew how she’d feel if he was missing. ‘I can imagine. I don’t suppose they’ve told her it was Gareth yet?’
He stood there, his face expressionless – you could tell he was a policeman.
Amanda’s middle churned anew. ‘Didn’t you know?’ What had she done? But he must know… or was this a trap?
‘I’m not on this team, you know, and I’m on leave at the moment.’
Amanda stared dumbly at Owen. What a fool she was.
‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘No harm done.’
‘We’re going to Glasgow soon,’ said Amanda, trying desperately to move the conversation away from Gareth’s body. ‘My mum-in-law’s coming down today and when we’ve organised things with the police we’ll be off up north.’
‘Good idea.’
Amanda turned the buggy round. She’d been stupid, but it would be all right. ‘I’ll maybe see Ella later, then, to say goodbye.’
She crossed back over the road to make it look as if she had a particular reason for walking along Cedar Road this morning, and scooted round the corner as quickly as she could.
It might actually be better if she never saw Ella again.
Chapter Eleven
Saturday 2nd August
Ella bobbed up and down on the balls of her feet as the clerk in the car hire office completed his paperwork then handed over the key. Now she was mobile again without having to depend on the neighbours. The car was larger than their own but easy enough to manoeuvre, and she negotiated the town centre and drove up the hill without incident.
Feeling like an imposter in her own home, she walked through the ground floor rooms and on upstairs, noticing everywhere signs that things had been lifted, examined, and replaced in not quite the right places. It was horrible. The house felt nothing like home and she knew it never would again.
Impossible to go into Soraya’s room. The feeling was every bit as bad as if she’d given birth to a child and raised her for six years before losing her. This ache of wanting was worse than the no-child ache had ever been. Ella couldn’t sit still; she had to be active or she would fall head first into a deep, dark hole.
At least Mum was coping. After the police visit that morning Ella had called and given her mother a brief account of what was happening. Fortunately, Mum agreed to stay in Helston. Mary wanted Ella to come for a few days too, and Ella agreed – anything was better than being alone in this house. She would pack a bag and leave as soon as she could.
Upstairs, she opened her wardrobe and rifled through its contents. Clothes belonging to a different life were hanging here, summer shirts and blouses from happier days. A stranger’s clothes.
Her mobile buzzed while she was packing underwear and she fumbled it out of her handbag. Oh please, this could be – but no, it was a strange number. Hope crashed again.
‘Hello?’ It didn’t sound like her voice.
‘Hi, are you Ella Baxter? This is Jill at Lamorna Café. We’ve got Soraya here – she lost her Daddy and she asked us to phone you.’
The room spiralled round and Ella plumped down on the bed. Thank God, oh thank God. Soraya was okay. The relief was as painful as the fear had been and Ella began to laugh, conscious of hysteria lurking inside her. ‘Oh, thank you – I’ve been so worried. I didn’t know where they were. Can I speak to her?’
Soraya’s voice was in her ear. ‘Mummy? I want to come home. Where are you – Daddy said you were coming here for lunch!’
The tone was nothing but peeved and Ella’s almost-hysteria vanished abruptly. ‘Oh darling, I’m glad you found someone to call me. That was so clever. Daddy hasn’t been well and the arrangements were a bit wrong, but I’ll come and get you straightaway. Where did you lose Daddy?’
A sniff. ‘On the walk. He was being silly and I ran away because I thought you were coming to the café but you weren’t here.’
Another few words with Jill to make sure Soraya was kept in the café even if Rick came storming in looking for her, then Ella was running downstairs and out to the hired car. She was out of town before it occurred to her that it might have been an idea to let the police know Soraya had been found – and she should have told Owen, too. But it wasn’t far to Lamorna and she could notify everyone then. Ella drove swiftly, her senses sharp as they hadn’t been for days. Once at the coast she had to slow down. The road down to the cove was narrow but thankfully she didn’t meet any other vehicles, and the gods were on her side today because there was a space right at the harbour.
Inside the café, the first thing Ella saw was a table near the counter where Soraya was sitting, an empty glass in front of her.
‘Mummy!’ The little girl slid from her chair and ran towards her. ‘You weren’t here, why weren’t you here? But they gave me a lovely ice cream!’
Ella sat down with the child hugged on her lap, noticing that Soraya was holding on tightly too.
‘Sweetie, I didn’t know where to come. Daddy didn’t tell me and he wasn’t answering his phone. But I’m here now.’ She turned to the woman behind the counter. ‘Thank you so much for looking after her. I’ve been so worried.’
And now she should phone the police. But as soon as she did so the clock would start ticking. St Ives to Lamorna… she’d have thirty more minutes with her child, once that call was made. Grief swelled in Ella’s throat and she kissed the hot little head leaning on her shoulder, inhaling the smell of a strange shampoo. She would take Soraya outside and explain everything first.
There was no sandy beach here, but Ella sat on a rock and watched as Soraya threw stones into the sea. This was such a lovely place, the deep blue ocean going on and on into eternity, and the paler blue of the sky above. Ella clasped her hands tightly. Please, somebody stop time while she enjoyed having a child, this child she had chosen. These would be the last minutes of peace; before the day was out Soraya would be gone from her life and the fight to get her back would have started.
‘Are we going home soon?’
Ella patted the rock beside her. ‘I’m not sure. I’ll have to phone the police; they’ve been looking for you and Daddy. Liz’ll be coming and I don’t know what’ll happen then.’
Soraya sat on the rock, her eyes dark. ‘Why’s Liz coming?’
This was where she destroyed her daughter’s new world. ‘Sweetheart, something very bad has been happening at home, something I didn’t know about. Liz wants to know you’re okay.’
‘Did Daddy do something bad?’
Ella blotted her eyes before the tears escaped. There were no flies on Soraya. ‘I’m afraid he did. The police are trying to find out what it was. Liz will explain what she wants for you, and we both know we can trust her. You might be going back to Auntie Mel’s for a bit.’
Soraya’s face blanched. ‘I don’t want to go to Auntie Mel’s! I want to stay with you!’
‘That’s what I want too, and I’m going to work very, very hard to make sure that happens. But we – the police and I – need to get the bad stuff sorted first and that’ll take a day or two.’
Her heart breaking, Ella made the call, then sat on the rock with Soraya wedged between her knees, and they gazed out over the ocean. Thirty minutes of beauty with her child in her arms; remember the feeling, Ella, remember the smell, remember the love.
DI Martin arrived with a WPC half an hour after her call. ‘Rick’s been found further along the coast path,’ he said. ‘He’s unconscious. They’re airlifting him to Truro.’
Ella clutched Soraya’s hand. ‘Did he fall?’
‘I don’t know. A German family found him. It wasn’t until the paramedics reached him that we were alerted. WPC Gray here will go with you back to your home. We’ll catch up later.’
Soraya was clinging to her, and Ella lifted the child into her arms and turned towards the car park. For the very first time she was walking along carrying her daughter, and please God this wouldn’t be the last day they spent together.
Chapter Twelve
Saturday 2nd August
Not knowing what was going on was intolerable. Amanda played with Jaden until he went for his nap after lunch, then sat on the sofa zapping round the TV channels. There was nothing on the national news at one o’clock, and only a very short mention on the local station. The body of a man has been found in a Cornish garden… She didn’t dare look online. And what would happen when Gareth’s identity was released was anyone’s guess. She’d need to discuss that with DI Martin. Amanda balled her fists and thumped the sofa. Living alone, with just a toddler for company, was unbearable today, thank God Suze would be here later. Amanda smiled wryly; she had never looked forward so much to a visit from her mother-in-law. But Suze was a good person and more important, she was family, exactly what they needed now. They could stay in Glasgow till autumn, when it would be cool enough to visit her own parents in Spain. St Ives wouldn’t be home for much longer. It was horrible to think how many lives had been ruined by that stupid affair with James/Rick – she needed to get her babies right away from that, into a fresh start.
Jaden’s voice called from his bedroom, and Amanda winced. His naps were getting shorter; her lovely long break in the middle of the day was a thing of the past. She lifted him, revelling in the sensation of his head snuggled under her chin. Her boy, and he loved his mum; this was what she had to defend. If the truth came out she would end up in prison and Jaden would be sent to Suze in Glasgow. And probably the new baby would too, eventually. Suze would take them, Amanda knew. But that wasn’t going to happen; she wouldn’t let it.
So she had to know what was going on.
There were two cars in Ella’s driveway and Amanda slowed down. Neither was obviously a police vehicle but then they didn’t always drive around in panda cars. Maybe this was a bad idea, she didn’t want to barge into a roomful of people. But there didn’t seem to be any other way to find out what was going on.
She trudged up the path rang the bell, her heart thumping. To her dismay it was Owen who opened the door, but before Amanda could say anything Soraya ran out.
‘Jaden! Come and play!’
Jaden was struggling to get out of his buggy, grey eyes shining and his face one big beam. Owen stood back silently, and Amanda stepped inside.
‘Is Ella all right? And Rick?’
Soraya took Jaden’s hand. ‘Daddy’s in hospital. Come on, Jaden. We can play in the living room.’
Ella appeared in the kitchen doorway and gave Amanda a hunted look. The pain in the other woman’s eyes brought tears to Amanda’s.
‘Ella, I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, and to her enormous surprise Ella hugged her tightly.
‘You’re sorry – it’s me who should be saying that,’ she said, her voice tight. ‘They’ve told me it was Gareth. Amanda, I don’t know what to say. I’ve no idea how Rick was connected to your husband. The police are investigating but so far there’s nothing.’
Amanda wished with all her heart she’d stayed at home. ‘Soraya said Rick’s in hospital?’ She could hear the fear in her own voice. If he was in hospital he wouldn’t have been interviewed yet – would he?
‘Yes. Come in, Owen’s made coffee. And this is Liz, our adoption worker, and Mel from foster care. And you know DI Martin?’
Amanda sat down opposite Mel, feeling like the biggest imposter on the planet. This was exactly what she hadn’t wanted to happen. Ella poured her a coffee, and Amanda saw how the other woman’s hands were shaking. An awkward silence fell. Amanda blinked at her coffee, noticing how sunlight from outside was casting mug-shaped shadows on the kitchen table. Eventually Ella spoke, her voice unsteady. ‘Rick’s in Truro. They’re operating; it’s a brain haemorrhage and it’s not looking good. They’re talking about brain damage.’
For a moment Amanda couldn’t breathe. First Gareth, then Rick… ‘No – what happened?’
Ella gave her a queer look and Amanda ducked her head. She’d sounded over-concerned there; she should be more careful. Fear chilled through her, and the baby kicked in protest. Silence fell again, broken by the sudden blaring of the television in the living room. Jaden’s bubbly laugh rang out.
‘A bang on the head may have caused his injury,’ said DI Martin. ‘We’re hoping he’ll wake up enough to tell us what happened with your husband.’
Amanda nodded. How horrible, now she had to hope Rick was never able to speak to them. But at least they didn’t know how Rick and Gareth were connected. She should say as little as possible now. If only she’d stayed at home.
‘I see,’ she said at last. ‘You’re busy, Ella. I’ll leave you to get on with things.’ She was about to get up when Liz spoke.
‘If you can stay another five minutes while I explain to Ella what’s going to happen with Soraya it would be helpful. Your little boy’s being a good distraction through there.’
Amanda slumped back into her chair, and Liz turned to Ella.
‘Until this case is closed she’ll be going back to Mel’s, Ella. I’m so sorry, but you’ll understand we can’t do anything else.’
‘And afterwards?’ Ella’s face was white.
‘That depends. If Rick was involved in this death, he won’t be allowed to adopt.’
‘My marriage is over.’ There was determination in Ella’s voice. ‘I want Soraya.’
‘What are you talking about? What’s happening? I don’t want to go to Auntie Mel’s, I’ve got a forever mummy now!’ Soraya was in the doorway, her eyes huge and her face almost as white as Ella’s.
Amanda choked back a sob. This was awful. Jaden’s voice from the other room gave her an excuse and she went through to pick him up, rocking him in her arms. And she who had been instrumental in a man’s death could rock her child, while Ella, who had done nothing wrong, was about to have hers taken away.
Amanda stood in the hallway, listening as Ella spoke to Soraya.
‘Darling – you remember I told you Rick had done something bad? Well, I have to help the police find out what happened, and that will take a bit of time. Another thing is, because of what Rick did, I don’t want to live here anymore. So I’m going to look for a nice new home and I’m hoping very hard that you can join me there some day. But until it’s all settled you’ll be staying with Auntie Mel.’
Amanda could see into the kitchen. Soraya’s face was tear-blotched and red. ‘I don’t want to go! What did he do? Will you come every day? And can Jaden come too?’
‘I don’t know what Rick did but the police will find out. I’ll s
ee you as often as they let me but I don’t know anything about that yet. Auntie Mel will keep us right about it.’
Amanda closed her eyes. It would be the biggest relief ever to get right away from the whole situation here.
A chair scraped back, and Mel spoke. ‘Come on, sweetie. Let’s pack your case and then we’ll be home in time for tea.’
‘I want my shells but if I take them the others’ll get them!’ Soraya was crying loudly now, and Amanda buried her face in Jaden’s neck. They had done this, she and Rick, and she would have to live with that.
Chapter Thirteen
Sunday 3rd August
The house was silent. Ella walked through the kitchen, into the dining room – hard to remember the last time they’d dined in here; probably at the beginning of May, before Soraya started visiting – and across the hallway into the living room. There were so many little knick-knacks lying around, so many memories of her marriage. And this was the famous first day of the rest of her life.
She glanced out to the back garden. The shed, still in its police tent… and the shell garden, bereft of most of the seashells. Only the buddleia looked as usual, butterflies bobbing around in their colourful dance.
Thank goodness she was going to Helston to stay with Mum and Mary, albeit a day later than originally planned. The thought of spending another night in her bed here made Ella feel sick. No, no – she would get the house cleared and on the market ASAP – if that was possible without Rick. If it wasn’t she would rent it out.
The photo on top of the television caught her eye – her, Rick and Soraya the day the little girl first came to spend a night. The happy family that had never been, in reality, and there was no way back from what Rick had done. Ella lifted the photo and stared. She and Soraya were standing close, sharing the same space and touching, but Rick was a few centimetres away, at a distance. The gap had been there long before she was aware of it. Ella eased the photo from its frame and went for the scissors. Two good snips and she was holding a lovely photo of her and her girl, with a tiny bit of Rick’s arm at the side. She would touch it up and have one made for Soraya too, if they’d let her have it. God bless Photoshop.