by E. M. Moore
Ryan keeps checking the watch on his wrist, so I’m sure he intends on sticking close to Lake today. I wonder if Alec, Sloan, and Hayes told him—or even Lake—Jacquin’s proposition yet. He looks up at me after checking the time. I smile. “Is your mom still in town, or did she head back yet?”
“Speaking of,” Sloan says, twisting his head toward me. His hazel eyes are dull today, like muddy brown. I can tell he doesn’t feel good even though he’s trying to act like his normal self. “How come you didn’t tell us you and Ryan are going to be house buddies?”
Ryan shakes his head. “Fuck you, Ivy.”
Sloan laughs. For the first time today he sounds more like his normal self.
Ryan smirks. “I don’t know why you’re laughing. That just means I’m right down the hall from her. At all times of the night. Barely clothed.”
I gape at him. “I don’t think I’ll be sleeping over much. I thought I made that clear yesterday during dinner.”
Leaning back, Ryan smoothes his hands down his shorts. “I think that was a denial,” Sloan singsongs. I can tell he’s loving every second of this.
“Trust me, she’ll be wanting to sleep over.”
Why does all this just sound so wrong?
Hayes’s arm tightens around me. There’s a glint of amusement in his eyes, but it’s Alec who speaks next. “I’m down with having sleepovers again. We can pretend we’re in middle school.”
Oh God. My whole face burns red. It was one thing to have them all in my house for a pool party, but for a sleepover? I’m not sure I’d live through it, though I can tell they’d have a fun time torturing me.
Sloan pats Ryan on the head and then ruffles his hair. “My poor RyRy, moving up on the hill with the big timers.”
I roll my eyes. We’re nothing special up there. Ryan catches my eye though, and I don’t think he’s thinking about moving up with the big timers. I think his mind is otherwise engaged judging by the way his gaze rakes over me. Hayes can probably feel the flames that flare off me. I’m engulfed.
Ryan bats Sloan’s hand away. “To answer your question, she’s still here. She’s going to come by to see me before she goes.”
I smile tightly. “Tell her hi from me.”
He nods once, and for a fleeting moment, I think I detect relief in his eyes. I don’t know why. I said I would try. As long as they don’t keep trying to shove their relationship down my throat, I’ll try.
A hand touches me on the shoulder and Hayes stiffens. When I turn, Chase is standing there. He isn’t getting that nice of a reaction from the Ballers, so I make sure to smile at him. Quickly, he takes his hand off my shoulder. Hayes’s laser-like stare probably burned it off. He sweeps his hand through his hair. “We’re leaving. I just wanted to say goodbye to you.”
I stand, Hayes’s arm brushing over my hip and then down. “You’re leaving? I don’t know why I thought you were staying for another week.”
One of his teammates comes up behind him. “We were all getting restless, Tessa. We all decided we like girls too much to stick around this sausage fest.”
I chuckle, shaking my head at him. He gives me a small salute. I watch as the rest of the team files by. Some of the guys give me a hug, which I’m sure is killing the Ballers. But really, these guys were there for me when we first got here. I’m actually going to miss them. Chase made me feel wanted here when no one else did. That’s twice he’s done that for me. When he stands there awkwardly, I tell him I’ll walk him out.
He seems relieved. He opens the door to the main building for me, and I sneak through, not looking back. Trust me, I can feel the heat of their gazes enough on me as it is. I don’t need to see their faces to know they hate what I’m doing right now. Oh well. The possessive fucks should learn a lesson.
We take the trail all the way up the small hill to the parking lot. A few cars are already backing up. They blow their horns and Chase and I wave at them. He turns toward me. “My sister tells me to tell you that she hopes you kick ass the rest of camp. She said something about girl power and all that. I don’t know. I stopped listening after a while.”
I laugh at that, thinking that when I get back from camp, I should actually try to hang out with Christie. I think we could be good friends.
He jams his hands in his pockets. I can tell he’s nervous, and I don’t know how to calm him down. The way he glances over at me, I can tell he wishes there was more between us. “So you and the big guy?”
I smirk. Me and all of them, but he doesn’t need to know that. “Something like that,” I say.
“I just hope you’re giving it to them, Tessa. They don’t deserve you.”
Apprehension crawls over my skin. There’s a ring of truth to what he’s saying, but I’m not going to let that deter me. “Friends?” I ask.
“That depends,” he says, finally cracking a real smile. “Are you actually going to text me?”
“I think I will,” I tell him honestly. The Ballers will just have to get over themselves. I’m certainly not going to stop talking to other guys just because it makes their jealousy freak flag fly.
I step forward and give him a short, awkward hug. “Take care of yourself, Chase. Find one of those college girls your friends like so much.”
His smile isn’t as wide as it was a second ago. He nods. “Call me if you need me. I mean it. No matter what. I’m staying with a teammate in his apartment next to the college for a couple more weeks before visiting back home. I can be here if you need me to be.”
“I will,” I tell him. Who knows, if this all blows up in my face like before, I might need a friend like him. But no, I don’t see it going down like that again. I really don’t.
He steps away, and I give him a wave as he walks to his friend’s car. They back out and his friend beeps the horn as they start down the road away from Camp Holly.
Strong arms surround me. It’s all Sloan who nuzzles my neck. “Thank God that fucker’s gone.”
I look over my shoulder. Ryan and River are already walking away. It’s just Hayes, Alec, Sloan, and I. There’s still a lot of hours left to Sunday, so I smile. “Who’s up for a swim?”
Alec is the first to take off running. The rest of us catch on quick after that. I start laughing, giggling even as I chase after them as we race to the water. Hayes sprints, his long legs taking him away fast. He’s almost caught up with Alec. I laugh as they both race into the lake at the same time Sloan and I hit the sand. Sloan reaches out and grabs me, swinging me through the air before running with me into the water. I scream as the water splashes up my body. There’s a chill in the water today and it takes my breath away. It also might be the fact that Sloan’s as hard as a rock against my back.
To feel this carefree with them is a weight off my shoulders. We play in the water, splashing one another and laughing, drenched through in our regular clothes without a care in the world. The only thing is, I know it’s just a facade. If Lake were here, things would be different. Hell, if Ryan were here, too. I told him I couldn’t handle the idea of him yet. There’s still too many things up in the air and no matter how much I try to drown out these thoughts with the others, they keep popping back up until I’m left wondering when everything might go back to some semblance of normality.
There’s hope on the horizon. If I win Shooting Guard MVP, I could regain control of my life for this next year. I can fight for a spot on the team and only my skills will decide if I get minutes or not. Not some stupid, misplaced faux-royalty hierarchy system. Just me and my basketball skills.
31
No one overtly says anything to me, but Lake must’ve taken the deal Jacquin presented him with. I know this for two reasons. One, Jacquin doesn’t call him out on the pill popping thing. And two, for a few days, Lake looks seriously sick. I don’t ask, and they don’t offer up an explanation, but the only thing I can guess is that Lake stopped using for now. I guess he wants to make sure he’s on top of his game, so he can beat me.
Too bad
for him, but I’m not going to let that happen. I want that coveted peaceful existence more than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I want to beat him when he’s one hundred percent the basketball player I know he can be, but I’ll take it either way. As long as I win my freedom, that’s all that matters.
I don’t know if it’s Jacquin’s idea or not, but for the last couple of weeks, the coaches have displayed who’s on top of the MVP leaderboard. I actually don’t think it’s such a bad idea. We get ranked in our basketball conferences. We’re ranked and seeded in championships. This is no different. It also lets me know where I stand, and also lets me know that Lake is being the best basketball player that he can be. I won the week that he felt like shit. But the week after that, I came in second. Jacquin keeps gently nudging me, telling me it’s close. It’s so close. Dad hasn’t said anything like that to me because he can’t, but I can tell by the way he studies us when we’re in practices that he’s thinking the same thing. I know he won’t be judging my position, but I like to see what he thinks overall.
Across the board, the Ballers are winning their MVP positions so far. It’s not surprising. This is the reason why I wanted to go to RHS. No other school can compare. I don’t know how these five guys found each other, but it was like some cosmic ball players dream. Coach Bradley is so lucky to have not only one amazing player on his team, but five.
Since Lake is feeling better, I’ve made myself scarce around the Ballers for the most part. I’m fine with it because once again, it gives me time to train extra. I do laps in the lake at night. Sometimes, Sloan will come down and do them with me. Other times one of them might come watch, but I think they can tell that I’m taking this very seriously. I don’t want to even think about what might happen if I don’t win MVP. As I said before, he’ll probably want me to leave the rest of the Ballers alone. Now that I’ve crossed the line with them, I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. Then again, they might force my hand again.
They better not force my fucking hand again.
Because the lacrosse team is gone, I still eat with the Ballers. I just usually sit off to the side a little. One of the guys usually keeps me company while the rest of them talk. Don’t get me wrong, I intervene sometimes. When I do, Lake doesn’t bat an eye. He’s keeping his end of the bargain up. He’s not said or done anything to me since he must’ve agreed to it.
One night on the phone, I tell Dawn the deal Jacquin fixed for me. “Oh shit,” she says. “Seriously? Tessa, that’s great. This is what you wanted.”
“Well, I haven’t won yet.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re going to mop the floor with him. You’re going to do just exactly what you did to make the team last year. You’re going to keep your head down and your eyes on the prize.”
She pretty much uses every bad one-liner a coach would use, but she’s adorable when she says it, so I light up when she’s done. What she finds most interesting about our conversation is when I tell her that my dad and Ryan’s mom are moving in together.
“Are you shitting me?” she practically screams.
I have to hold the phone away from my ear to keep my hearing ability intact. “Nope.”
“What are you going to do?”
I chuckle at that. “Not much I can do, I guess.” I don’t tell her that my mom came down to camp and tried to get my dad back. Next time she sees her, I don’t want her to look at my mother any differently. As far as she knows, she’s recuperating from her husband leaving her out of nowhere.
“You seem way too blasé about this,” Dawn quips. “This is Ryan fucking Linc we’re talking about here. He’s like sex on a stick. Holy fuck.” She pauses. “Do you think you’re actually going to end up step-brother and step-sister.”
My stomach twists until I feel queasy. “That better not fucking happen. If my dad thinks I flipped out over them moving in together, he hasn’t seen anything yet.”
Dawn chuckles freely into the phone. “I can imagine Godzilla Tessa coming out. No one wants that hot of a stepbrother. Damn. You can barely even function around him now, what about then?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I tease.
“You know what I’m saying,” she says, brushing my thoughts aside. “Ryan fucking Linc.”
Exactly. She really doesn’t even need to say anything else. His name is enough. It evokes enough responses in me.
Looking back on that night in the car, I wish I hadn’t stopped us from kissing. Yes, I know his mother and my father, but…I saw him first. It sounds so middle school, but I’m going with it.
A knock sounds on my door while I’m talking to her. I check the clock. It’s not quite curfew yet, so I yell out, “Come in.”
“Who’s that?” Dawn asks.
Sloan walks in. I smile at him. He takes in my lazy sprawl over the bed and then glances at the phone to my ear. “Dawn?” he mouths. When I nod, he says out loud, “Hey, Dawn.”
“Which one is that?” she asks, her voice only a tinge of uneasiness. She definitely doesn’t agree with the fact that I’ve let them all back in my life.
“Sloan.”
“Shit,” she says. “Tell him not to turn on the TV.”
My brows pull together. “Why?”
“Another scandal involving his parents.”
I fret over my lip, looking up at Sloan’s carefree smile. I doubt he knows anything about it as of yet. Maybe it’s not even on the national news. Maybe it’s just local. “I got to go, Dawn. I’ll call in another couple of days.”
“Be safe,” she calls out just as I hang up the phone.
Sloan must’ve heard because a smirk graces his beautiful face. He crawls over me on the bed. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go back home and not have any one of them less than a hundred yards away from me at any given time. Now that we’re all on pretty solid terms, having them around has been nice. It’s like before when they actually wanted to spend time with me. “Are you telling all our secrets to your bestie?”
I toss my phone to the small table by my bed. “No,” I say, drawing the word out. “She barely likes you guys.”
His mouth pinches. “No? Wasn’t she hot for Christopoulos not too long ago?”
“Yeah, then you guys ripped away my dreams and stomped on my heart.”
“Oh that,” he says, a small smile coming to his face before it washes away instantly. “I wish I could go back, Daddy’s Girl. I’d change my own mind.”
“Aren’t those lyrics to a Taylor Swift song?”
He shrugs. “Got me.”
I hit him playfully on the shoulder. “Come up with your own material, Ivy.”
“Fine. How about I’m really sorry, Dale. Next time I stomp on your heart you have my permission to kick me in the balls.”
I hold my hand out and make him shake on it. If that happens, I’m holding him to it.
Once the levity fades, I peek up at him. He’s still hovering over me. I have to tell him what Dawn just told me. I can’t let him be blindsided about it if he doesn’t know yet. “So,” I start, trying to come up with the right words. It would be easier if I knew exactly what the scandal was. I should’ve asked before I hung up the phone.
“Out with it, Tessa,” Sloan says.
He looks at me carefully, and I sigh. “Dawn told me she saw your parents on the news.”
He blinks at me. Then, he sighs and falls back on the bed. He runs his hands through his dark brown hair. “Did she say for what?”
I shake my head. “I can ask if you want,” I tell him, automatically reaching for my phone.
He pins my arm with a look, so I stop. “Don’t bother. I’m sure I’ll hear about it sooner or later.”
Seeing Sloan upset makes me feel uneasy. He’s usually the light-hearted one. Even when he’s not, he’s playing at being the light-hearted one. “I’m really sorry.” I sit up and sit in front of him with crossed legs.
An unfeeling smile passes over his lips like an unwanted memory. “Did you
ever think the Rock Ballers were this fucked up? One’s hooked on Oxy, one’s parents are complete pieces of shit,” he says, talking about himself. “One’s scared of his own temper, one—.”
“Who’s scared of their own temper?” I ask.
“Hayes. You haven’t figured that out yet?”
I look down at my lap. “No. I didn’t know I needed to.”
“You do remember when he walked away from the playful lacrosse game we were having that turned out not so playful, right?”
“Well, yeah, I just thought…” I trail off. I don’t know what I thought. “Why?” I ask.
“If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”
I agree with the sentiment, but it’s super fucking annoying that it seems like every Baller has a secret hidden away. I grab Sloan’s hand. “You’re not your parents, Ivy. This will blow over.”
“The only thing I’m happy about is the fact that I’m not home right now, so I don’t have to live through the fucking turmoil of it all. The phone ringing off the hook from the media. The fucking cameras outside the door. It’s ridiculous.”
“A price to pay for fame,” I say, looking away and remembering my dad’s own little shit starters that kicked up over the years. Sloan and I can relate to one another on that front.
He reaches out and entwines our fingers. His pressure is steady, unlike the mixed emotions stirring around him right now. I’m sure he wants to know what the hell is going on. We could Google it on our phones if he wanted, but it doesn’t look as if he wants to do that right now.
“Now that you’ve soured the mood, I won’t ask you what I came here to ask you.”