This time it was his turn to interrupt me. “Chloe, I’ve never thought of you like this mainly because it’s illegal.”
“Still is.” I threw out there. Great job, Chloe. Point out that he shouldn’t be with me because the entire legal system of America has decided that I’m not an adult. Can I stick my foot in my mouth any more? “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, you’re right. There is something here. I can see a legitimate future with us. I want there to be. There’s just that small hitch.” He chuckled and then groaned, “I wanted to call you. I’m having a crap day and just wanted to hear your voice.”
I tried to focus on the conversation, but he called me just to hear my voice. Holy halos—he likes me. I’m almost vibrating with happy nerves. I wanted to hear his voice too. Maybe not as much as he did, but I just didn’t know until I actually heard his low tambour. It was like a lullaby to my ears.
“Tell me about your day.”
“Coach has been hard on me.” He sighed again, “I feel like I’m just complaining now.”
“No, you’re not. Tell me.” He still hadn’t said anything. “Okay… you know that internship I’ve got?”
“Yeah.”
“They’re going to offer one of the six of us an actual position after we graduate. I want it so bad. I know the next few months are going to be busy, but I think it will be totally worth it. Could you see me as a junior editor?”
“Fuck yeah! You’d be amazing.”
His voice sounded much lighter. Less stress and maybe not so focused on the crappy things. I wanted him to feel like he could talk to me. I needed it. We wouldn’t survive as a couple without that communication. I think my parents just communicate through email now. I know they don’t share the same room to sleep. I don’t ever remember them sharing a room. It was so weird for me the first time that I came over to the Drayden’s house. When bedtime came around Mama and Papa Drayden went into the same room. I had thought that everyone just gets their own room. My eyes bugged out of my head, and I asked Brooklyn why they slept in the same room that night. I now know the reason why married couples sleep together, but Brooklyn had said ‘because when you get old you get cold and they had to keep each other warm.’ Seriously? How freaking cute were we?
“Thanks. Now, you.”
“Coach wanted me to go through a full workup to make sure I’m in good enough condition to play. It was like they were just searching for some reason to bench me tonight. I know Coach is pissed that I’ve been bailing out on practices and things but—”
“You’re good to play, right? I mean the accident didn’t hurt you more than you had said?”
“No, I’m fine. Just sore. But that’s to be expected.”
“Well, I’d be worried about you playing with a possible injury. I’m glad they looked you over.” I tried to hide my concern, but it was no use. “I don’t like it when you’re hurt.”
“Now you know how I felt with you lying in that hospital bed. I thought the worse when Mom got that call. They wouldn’t tell her anything over the phone. Just to get down there. I’ve never been so scared for anyone in my life. God, that’s not true.” I held my breath. Was he trying to tell me about someone else that he cared more about? I was dying inside. I could let that breath out. “There was a little girl lost in the woods that only wore a My Little Pony shirt and knit pants. She had my heart when I left her out there. I thought I was going to die from worry when we couldn’t find her. And it was all my fault.”
“But she survived.”
“She did. She is an amazing woman now and had I have known how much I loved her then I wouldn’t have let so much time go by without being with her.”
“Love?” I whispered out a squeak.
“Yeah. I may not have always known what I felt for you, but it’s starting to become much clearer. It’s you and me.”
“Will you tell me about that night? I… I don’t remember much.”
“Mom wanted me to run over to our neighbor’s house to get their little girl, which happened to be my little sister’s best friend. My friends were expecting me to be at their house for pizza and video games. I wanted to hurry. I grabbed my jacket and went running. When I got to her house, the maid opened the door. I think she was the maid. She didn’t speak English.”
“Yeah, Matilda. I think she was Romanian.”
“Romanian?”
“I’m honestly not sure. My parents hired staff for everything. I only remember her because she couldn’t tell me not to go without a coat and my parents fired her for it. I felt so bad—still do.”
“They fired her? Really?” He sounded surprised.
“Yep. That’s my parents. Blaming everyone but themselves and me.”
“Why would they blame you? It’s not like you lost yourself in the woods. It was my fault.”
“No, it was not your fault. I’m the one that left you, that didn’t even look back to see that you were following me, and you weren’t the one that didn’t know which way you came from to retrace your steps to find you. That was all me. When I realized you weren’t there I panicked. I just couldn’t remember and then when Dad found you and you were so cold. You didn’t even respond to us. I remember sitting with your frozen feet on me while Mom held you tight trying to warm you up. Dad flew through the woods. His truck bottomed out on a hill and then when he made it to the road the police surrounded our truck and escorted us there while you laid there lifeless. You were so pale. I was so scared.”
“It wasn’t your fault either. I… I wanted to show off that outfit.”
“The My Little Pony one?” He chuckled just a bit.
“Yes.”
“Well, you did. But I couldn’t have found you nearly as attractive as I do now. You were only eight.”
“I’m not eight anymore.”
“No, you’re not. But you’re not eighteen.” He groaned, annoyed. “I want you so bad.”
“I want you too.” I whispered as if it were a secret.
I heard something in the background on his end. Footsteps? A door? What was he doing? “Hold on.” He said with a gruff whisper. I waited, hearing a few more doors, and then finally he was settled.
“Where’d you go?” I chuckled.
“I needed to get out of public view while I’ve got an erection.”
I chuckled, “are you kidding me?”
“No. I needed this. Tell me what you’re wearing.”
“Sexy black lace panties and a matching bra.” I tried to say as seductive as I could.
“I wish you really were. While you straddled me and rubbed your clit on my cock until I made you cum on me.”
“Nix,” I said. It came out as a pant.
“Can you touch yourself where you’re at?” His voice rough and wanting.
He was definitely doing something physical. I started to imagine what he looked like as he pulled his cock from his pants and began to stroke himself. I wanted to see him doing this. I wanted to be there. I wanted my tongue to be around his hard length.
“Baby?”
“Yes.” I whimpered. I all but run to my room where I can lock the door and really talk this through with Nix. It’s so naughty. I’d never done that before. But I want to do it. I wanted to have him giving me instructions. Dominating me and my thoughts. I wanted him telling me how to get myself off.
“Are you ready?”
“Almost.” I was running as fast as I could. I slammed the door to my room, panting even more, and turned the lock. “Now.”
“I want your cunt on my tongue. I want your clit between my teeth. Strip for me.”
“Okay.”
I started to remove my leggings and tee. I decided to leave my socks on, but I won’t tell him that. I almost gave myself away with a giggle. What we were doing is so dirty. It’s so perfect. And there was a chance of getting caught.
“Where are you at?” I could hear the sex on my voice.
“Handicap bathroom.” He grunted. “I wa
nt you on my cock. Put your fingers on your clit.”
I moaned. I could feel my wetness. I was coated and ready. “Nix.” I moaned out.
“That’s it, Baby.”
We keep going, Nix giving me orders on how to please myself while I get off to his words. I could tell that he was stroking faster and getting more and more worked up. I’m moaning to him. Still quiet and shy. I wanted to hear him.
I was lying on my bed, half under the covers, and rubbing circles on my clit while the love of my life dominates my everything.
“Chloe, I’m close.”
“Nix.”
“Fuck.” He hissed out. “Chloe.”
“Nix.” I moaned as I orgasm.
Chapter 22
She’s Pucking Off Limits
Nix
“I miss you.” She said once we had both come back down from the orgasmic pleasure.
I hadn’t realized that I missed her too. It wasn’t a normal ‘I miss you,’ it was something more. I’ve always been able to sit around with the girl I was seeing. I never had to miss someone that I got to see every day. I wanted to just sit with her on the couch and watch a movie. Put my hands on her warm flesh when she’s in the room. That’s all I wanted because I missed the closeness that we weren’t allowed to openly share.
“I want to go on a date with you.”
“A date? We can’t do the whole dating thing.”
“You let me worry about that. Let me see what I can do. How’s your schedule next week?”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, well Monday I have an orgy scheduled—”
“Okay, okay. Smartass. I meant do you have anything coming up for school? Can I schedule a date any night that it would work?”
“What about your games? Aren’t you going out of town?”
“You know my schedule?” I was a little turned on that she knew my schedule. I could even hear it in my own voice.
“Maybe. I just figured you would have an away game.”
She’s so freaking cute. I just want to eat her up. But I had plans to make. And calls to handle. I wanted it to be perfect.
“Yes, baby, I’ll be gone for two days.” I shook my head, “not really two days. I leave early on Wednesday, and I’ll be back late on Thursday. So it’s only one night.”
“I’ll be in bed before you get home Thursday. But I’ll make sure to watch your game.”
“Good. I like it when you watch me on the ice.”
“You do? It’s not creepy?”
“Baby, as long as it’s you it’s not creepy. It’s just my girl watching me play the game I love.”
“Your girl?”
“Mine.” It came out as a growl. I knew once I had Chloe, she would be the one that I couldn’t walk away from. That fact was satisfying on so many levels.
That’s when she said it. It came out so low, and I barely heard it, but it was there. The faintest sound of her whispering—“yours.” I’m not even sure that it happened.
The game is rough that night. I feel like I’m out of shape from the moment the puck dropped. There’s this strange anxiety that is pulsing through my veins. John passes me the puck, and I completely choked. It tapped the edge of my stick and went straight into the grips of our opponents. I kept fucking up. Coach was going to pull me from the line. I just knew it.
“DRAYDEN!”
There it is. He’s calling me back to the bench. I’ll sit on the bench for the rest of the night. As soon as I’m off the ice Tremblay flies onto the ice.
I watch the next two periods with rapped attention I didn’t have while I was on the ice. I needed to snap the hell out of this trance I’m in so I can do my damn job and get that puck between the pipes (net). John ends up pulling the game together, and with an apple (assist), he got the gino (goal) that won us the game. My teammates walk awkwardly down the tunnel in front of me congratulating each other. John walks beside me silently until we get to the door to the locker room.
“Look, before we get in there—”
I already know what he’s trying to say. My head’s just not in the game lately. I’m entirely off-put by Chloe and holding back our secret is killing me. If we could just spend time together like a regular couple, then we could move forward instead of hiding. We can’t even really be together behind closed doors. It all just fucking sucked.
“I know. I’m trying to work through it.” I said.
“Work through what? Is it about that girl?” I hated the way that he said ‘that girl.’ She’s not just that girl. She’s my girl.
I felt the growl coming up my throat but held it back. “She’s not just some girl, John. I know she’s the one.”
“Whoa. You think after a week that she’s going to be the last girl you, the manwhore of New York, ever fuck?” John might have a point, but there’s something there that had never been there before.
I pushed through the locker room door and started to get cleaned up. The team was kind of shutting me out. I don’t blame them. I had played like shit. I pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and my dress pants. I rubbed my hands over my face. I’m so fucked.
“Hanks. Rampage. Venstoff. Yover. Drayden. Press wants interviews. Hurry it up.” Coach said with a stern expression.
“Why do they want Drayden? He’s just going to choke.” Yover said.
“Can it. And Drayden you better come up with a good reason for tonight. Flu, herpes, jockstrap cutting off blood to your balls—I don’t give a shit, but it better be good.” Coach snapped.
“Yes, sir,” I said and buttoned up my white dress shirt. I pulled my blazer over and made sure that I didn’t look like complete crap. Well, maybe it would be better if I had looked like crap. At least then I could have a legitimate claim to the flu.
I got everything in my bag and left it to be picked up by our equipment manager. Before making my way to the press room, I took a deep breath and checked my phone. I figured I would have gotten a missed call or something from Dad.
Dad: You okay?
No. I’m not okay. I’m in love with a girl I’ve known since I was eleven or twelve. The realization that she was just barely out of diapers, what was she… in kindergarten, I was going through puberty and thinking about trying to kiss girls and learning about sex from other kids my age. She was watching cartoons and playing with Barbie dolls. What in the actual fuck was I doing? She’s the epitome of off limits. I was wrecking my life over a girl that was too young for me. My little sister’s best friend. I basically grew up with her as another little sister. Maybe what I was feeling was the love for a little sister. God, what have I done?
Chapter 23
Pucking Words Are Worse Than Sticks and Stones
Chloe
I felt so bad for Nix. Something was going on with him. He just wasn’t playing like he usually would. There was no passion behind his skating, and everybody could see it. Five players from the Knights team sat behind a clothed table with microphones in front of each seat. There he was—freshly showered and clean. It was almost as if I could smell his scent in the room with us. We had all parked our butts in front of the tv to watch the game. We hadn’t known he would be pulled in the first period. He sat there on the bench for less than a minute staring down at the floor before his attention went to the game and never left it.
I wanted to be there for him. Comfort him. But I wasn’t sure what he needed comfort for. He’s not the biggest conversationalist.
It didn’t take long before the reporters tore into him. Peppering him with question after question.
“Drayden, what was going on tonight?” One reporter asked.
Nix cleared his throat, “I’ve been distracted this week.” He shook his head like he just couldn’t believe what he was doing. “The virus I was fighting had hit me hard and let’s just say that I’m over it. But I’m trying to get my strength back. I’m sure you all have read, I was in a car accident. I’ll be back at top condition before our next game.” He had
touched his chest and rubbed over his left peck while he ripped my heart out over national television for everyone to see. I heard the words between the lines. He was doe with me. I was his distraction—the virus—which kept him from hockey.
The worse part was that I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t rage. The rest of the questions were torpedoed towards everyone once they got their answer from Nix, but I never heard a single word. All I could hear was the thump of my heart in my ears as Phoenix Drayden broke my heart for the very last time.
I needed to be stronger than the little girl that followed him around as a kid. I’m not that kid anymore, and I should have never given him my innocence. My breath caught in my chest, and I almost let out a whimper.
I sniffled, “I… I’m kind of tired. I’m going to go to bed.” I stood and started to walk out of the family room.
“Chloe?” Mama D said trying to get my attention.
I turned around, still trying my hardest to hold back the tears until I could get to my room, and let them free.
“There’s got to be—”
I cut her off by shaking my head. “There’s not.” I took a staggering breath in to try to control myself. “I’m exhausted, and my head hurts. Night.”
“Good night.” They all said as I turned and sprinted up the stairs.
I shut the door as quietly as I could and fell to the floor with my back propped up against the door and cried. It was over, and he didn’t even tell me face to face. I was nothing to him, but a conquest and he never cared about me. I will never make that mistake again.
I fell asleep that night crying into my pillow and had the nightmare out in the woods, but this time it didn’t end the same way as it had in real life.
I woke panicked and sweating. Until my eyes focused on my room, I didn’t believe where I was. Once everything was coherent, I felt that pain back in my chest. My heart was still broken, and I didn’t know what to do to keep it from hurting. I wanted to lay in bed the entire day and cry over The Notebook and maybe even get some Leo with Titanic. I laid back down and pulled the blanket back over my head to block out the day and wish it never happened. Actually, I wished the last two weeks hadn’t happened. That way none of this would have ever happened.
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