by Chloe Walsh
I rolled my eyes. "Goodnight, Dad."
"Goodnight, baby. Don't stay up too late."
"I won't."
"I'll be gone by the time you wake up in the morning. I'll call you as soon as I land."
"Sounds good."
"Love you, Molly-Sue."
"Love you too, Dad."
I held my breath until my bedroom door closed shut behind him. Only then did I release it and sag forward. "Jesus."
"Gosh darn-it, Molly-Sue," Daryl teased in an extra thick southern drawl, head popping out from under the covers. "It sure is past your bedtime."
Smirking, I climbed off him and walked over to lock my door. "Real funny, douchebag."
"Can I take you locking your door as a sign that you're not throwing me out right away?"
"Yes," I sighed heavily. "But you really should go home…"
"I don't wanna leave yet." He sat up slowly. "And I don't wanna lose you, either."
"You're not losing me." Feeling my resolve weaken, I folded my arms across my chest and aimed for logic. "But you have to know that things will never be the same between us again, right?"
He tilted his head to one side, green eyes locked on mine. "They won't?"
"You put your penis inside of my vagina, D!" I whisper-hissed, pointing to my crotch. "And worse, I liked it!" My cheeks flamed as I spoke. "And then you went right ahead and ghosted me for the best part of a freaking week."
"I wasn't ghosting you, Dolly," he groaned, standing up. "I would never ghost you." Moving straight for me, he continued to speak, "The truth is that I've a lot of shit bottled up inside of my head. Shit that stems back years. Shit that I need to tell you about, but ain't ready to talk about." Stopping short in front of me, Daryl reached down and tipped my chin up, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Shit that will change everything between us."
"Everything?"
He nodded slowly. "I just got you back, Molls. I'm not ready for everything to change yet." I couldn't help but notice the guilt flicker in his eyes. "Does that make sense?"
"I don't know." Confused, I stared up at him. "Kinda?"
"I'll take kinda." His eyes burned with affection when he said, "You're my best friend. I don't give two shits how much time has passed. When I'm with you, like right now, even though you're all pissy and shit with me, it feels right. It feels like no time has passed at all. It feels like I'm home."
My heart.
Oh god.
"Yeah." I blew out a shaky breath. "I know what you mean."
"I care about you. A lot," Daryl continued. "And this ridge between us? This whole being shy and coy around each other bullshit?" He waved a hand around aimlessly. "It's been hanging in the air for way too long. I'm done with the distance, Molls. I'm done with being in denial."
"Wh-what are you saying, D?"
"I just wanna be around you, Dolly," he came right out and stated. "That's all. I wanna be all up in your space, taking up all of your free time, and spending all of my nights with you. There ain't anyone else I'm looking at."
"When you say you're not looking at anyone else…" I let my words trail off and exhaled a shaky breath, too afraid to get my hopes up. Feeling incredibly uncertain in this moment, I let my hands fall to my sides as I stared up at the only boy I ever loved.
"You mean…"
"I mean that I'm only interested in spending time with you."
Whoa.
"As friends?"
A flicker of something that looked almost like disappointment flashed in his eyes before he buried it with a smile. "Best friends."
I was wary and afraid, unsure and cynical. In the past week, he had blown hot and cold faster than I could snap my fingers. I couldn't be reckless with my heart. Not again. "I swear to god, Daryl, if you treat me like you did today again, I will never speak to you again. If you even think about ghosting me again –"
"I won't."
"I mean it," I warned. "If you've got a problem, then talk it out with me. Don't treat me like I'm just another girl. If we're friends that means I'm not on the other side of your walls. Don't close me out. I'm not the enemy."
"You're the only one who's ever been on the inside of those walls, Molly."
Right back atcha…
"And that stuff you aren't ready to tell me?" I watched him carefully. "You're sure I can't convince you to just get it off your chest now?"
He shook his head slowly. "I'm not ready."
I sighed. "You promise you'll tell me everything when you're ready?"
He nodded. "I promise."
"Okay. Good." Nodding, I held a hand out to him. "Then we'll start over one last time."
"Seriously?" Grinning, he cocked a brow. "You want a handshake after – how did you put it? Oh yeah, after I put my penis inside of your –"
"Okay, la, la, la! We don't have to talk about that!" I cut in, clamping a hand over his mouth. "Let's put last weekend's debauchery down to helping a girl tick some firsts off her bucket list and leave it there, 'kay?"
Chuckling, he peeled my hand away from his mouth. "Whatever you say, Dolly."
Padding back to bed, I climbed under the covers and reached for my now semi-melted tub of ice-cream before deciding against it. "If you don't need to go home right away, you can stay and watch a movie with me?"
"I don't need to go home ever," came his quick response, as he followed me to the bed. "I can stay the night… if you want?"
I knew why he didn't want to go home tonight, why he had never wanted to go home growing up, but that didn't mean that I could handle this dangerous game of back and forth with him. I wasn't prepared for it. For him.
"Please?"
Goddamn my stupid heart but it cracked at the sound of his pleading tone. "Wren's still picking on you, huh?"
His jaw ticked and he looked away. "Ain't nothing I can't handle."
"Talk to me."
"Look, I can crash at Rourke's if you're not comfortable with me being here," came his pained response.
"No…" Exhaling heavily, I pulled back the covers and patted the spot on the mattress next to me. "You can stay."
"You sure?"
No, this is a terrible idea. "Uh-huh."
Relief flickered in his eyes and he didn't waste any time kicking off his boots before climbing into bed, fully clothed.
"Feeling hungry?" I asked, pointing to the tub of Ben & Jerrys on my nightstand.
"Nah," he replied, his big shoulder brushing against mine. "I'm feeling just fine now."
That makes one of us, I thought to myself as I reset the movie to the beginning and snuggled under my duvet. "Remember we used to do this all the time when we were kids?"
"I remember you bailing me out when Wren got a little too carried away with the old corporal punishment," he replied, stretching out beside me.
My heart sank at the memory. "Yeah."
"I never thanked you for that, by the way."
"Thanked me for what?"
"For always taking up for me the way you used to." He turned to face me. "For giving me a safe place to hide out when life got too heavy." He shrugged almost helplessly when he whispered, "For being the only person to ever catch me when I was falling."
"That's what best friends are for," I breathed, heart racing wildly, eyes locked on his. "Right?"
"Right," he replied softly and his warm breath fanned my face.
We were close, too freaking close, but still, I couldn't tear my eyes off his. I couldn't stop myself from studying every dip and groove on his beautiful face and comparing it to the face of the boy he'd once been. To the face that I had once stared at every day for ten years.
"Molls?"
"Yeah, D?"
"I still dream about it." His eyes seared me as he spoke. "Every night."
I swallowed deeply and rolled onto my side, giving up on the movie playing in the background. "The fire?"
"Yeah." Daryl mirrored my actions, rolling onto his side and giving me his undivided attention. "Except in my dreams I
can't get you out."
"But you did get me out, D," I breathed, feeling weak now as I cast the excruciating memories aside. "You saved me," I added, forcing a small smile. "I'm right here."
"Yeah." He exhaled a ragged breath and nodded, nose nuzzling mine with affectionate strokes. "You are."
Don't do it, I willed myself when his hand cupped my cheek, drawing me closer to his big body. He'll change his mind. My gaze flicked to his full lips and I held my breath. Don't make a fool of yourself again.
"Night, D," I squeezed out, heart thundering in my chest.
His hand stilled on my face, his lips a hare's breath from mine. "Night, Molls."
And then I did the responsible thing.
I rolled over and gave him my back.
11 Molly
Daryl ended up spending the entire weekend at my house. With the exception of slipping out for football practice, after which, he came right back, we didn't leave each other's sides.
Unlike the previous weekend we spent together, this time we didn't blur the lines with sex, drugs, and karaoke rock and roll. Instead, we filled the days with Netflix, food, and catching up. For real, this time, and I couldn't describe how good it felt to be back in this place with him. To have my friend back.
It wasn't as hard to be around him as I had thought it would be. After the sex, I thought everything would be different, and sure, in a way it was, but with a little effort, we were able to maintain a balance of sorts. Besides, I'd loved Daryl King my whole life, so keeping those x-rated feelings I felt for him under wraps came as easy as breathing to me.
By the time school rolled around the following week, all of the awkwardness that had originally hung in the air between us had evaporated, and we were just Molly and Daryl again.
It felt good.
Too good to be true.
To be truthful, I spent that whole week waiting for the penny to drop, but it never did. Instead of drifting apart as I had half expected considering we were on completely different playing fields at school, Daryl and I only seemed to shift closer.
His weekend sleepovers slowly morphed into weeknight ones, too, until it was rare that he didn't spend the night at my house.
My lack of popularity and social status at the Academy clearly didn't matter a damn to Daryl.
Without hesitation, he adjusted his life to suit our re-found friendship, shifted some stuff around, until I was, once again, planted front and center on his list of priorities.
I, on the other hand, didn't need to make quite as many changes to my less than demanding schedule. My circle of friends doubled from one to two – three if you counted Rourke, who I could never quite be sure of – and that was about that. He had always been the center of my world, even when he didn't remember me.
12 Daryl
Life, for me, seemed to stabilize after that night. Against her father's warnings, pleas, and my own damn laden down conscience, I continued to trail after Molly Peterson just like I had when we were kids. I was desperate to make up for lost time and willing to do pretty much whatever it took to make it up to her.
At school, eating lunch together had become a routine, and my ass was welded to the chair next to hers in the classes we shared. Hell, I'd even managed to sway her into taking a ride to and from school with me instead of Mercy.
She was still keeping me at arm's length, but I didn't care. When it came to Molly, I was beginning to learn that I was a perseverant bastard. Shit, I was fairly certain that I would've followed the girl down to hell if I believed the place actually existed.
Days turned into weeks and I found myself falling into the same old pattern of co-dependency with the little girl – now beautiful fucking woman – across the street.
Secretly, or maybe not so secretly, Molly was everything to me.
Perfect.
Pure.
Too good for everyone.
Too good for me.
One look at her pretty blonde head and those big brown eyes and I was a goner.
Ruined.
13 Molly
"When Mase told me there was a hot blonde trying to break into my truck during practice, I called him a bullshitter," were the first words Daryl said when he opened the door of his truck before school and found me inside. "Goddammit, I hate it when he's right."
"Ha-ha." I rolled my eyes and tossed my pencil at his head. "Very smooth."
He grinned back at me. "Whatcha doing in my truck, Dolly?"
"Oh, you know, just hiding." I shrugged. "And you gave me the spare key, remember? Which is more than fair considering you spend more time at my house than I do."
He cocked a dark brow. "What are you hiding from?"
"Would it sound incredibly dramatic of me if I said the world?"
Daryl shrugged and climbed into the passenger seat beside me and tossed my rogue pencil onto my lap. "Only if you didn’t mean it."
Smiling, I studied his freshly showered appearance. "You smell nice this morning."
"You smell like me this morning," he shot back, turning in his seat to look at me.
"Is that new cologne?"
"Nah, borrowed Rourke's spray."
"Oooh," I taunted, scribbling down another piece of my homework. "Got some poor misfortunate girl in school that you're trying to impress?"
He laughed. "You know I only sleep in your bed, Dolly."
My cheeks flamed and I made a conscious effort to keep my nose in my book. "Uh-huh."
"So be real with me for a sec," he said, snaring me with those damn green eyes. "What are you hiding from?"
"Full disclosure?"
"Always."
I blew out a heavy sigh. "I am hiding from the stares and whispers that have been following me around since I reconnected with the most popular guy at school."
Daryl brows furrowed. "Ain't that Rourke?"
I shook my head. "Nope – although he's a strong contender for second. Rourke's their prince, but you?" I whistled. "You're their king, D."
"Shut the hell up," he chuckled, looking mildly appalled by this piece of information.
"It's true." Grinning, I leaned across the console and patted his stubbly cheek. "Mister popular."
Chuckling, he captured my hand in his. "And what are the crowds whispering about, Dolly?"
"Oh, you know, I said breezily. "What do I have that they don’t? How amazing my non-existent gag reflex must be. How I must get on my back for you 24/7. The usual mundane, not to mention shallow as hell, gossip."
"Damn." Daryl muttered, stroking his lip. "All of that talk and I've never had the pleasure of testing out your gag reflex."
My cheeks flamed red and I poked him in the side. "Behave."
"Believe me, Molls," he laughed. "I'm trying."
14 Daryl
"Obsessed much, Molls?" I teased from my perch on her bed, as Every Avenue's Only Place I Call Home played on a loop from her iPod speaker.
"Damn straight," she agreed, not bothering to deny it, as she rummaged through a box of old photographs and junk from our childhood that she had asked me to bring over. "This is my all-time favorite song… oh my god –" she paused as she pulled an old notebook out of the box and flipped it open, "I can't believe you kept this, D."
"What?"
"This." She waved the notebook around front of her. "I made this friendship book for you when I was eight."
"Yeah, I know." Sitting up, I tossed the ball I'd been playing around with on the mattress and went to her. "I remember."
Scrunching her nose up, Molly flipped through the pages until stopping on a particular page. "Dude," she groaned, nose wrinkling in disgust. "If I was a star, I'd shine just for you. If I was flower, I'd bloom just for you. If I was winter, I'd become Spring just for you. Because I love you. It's true. Say you love me too…" Shaking her head, she closed the notebook and tossed it back in the box before saying, "Wow, eight-year-old me sucked ass at poetry."
"Actually, eight-year-old you was pretty damn sweet," I reminded her, coming t
o sit on the floor beside her.
"Ugh." She groaned in embarrassment. "Could I have been any more transparent back then?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing." Shaking her head, she closed the lid on the box and offered me a bright smile. "Thank you for bringing this over. I don't have any pictures from before the fire." She swallowed deeply. "We lost all of our memories that night."
Pain settled hard on my chest. "Molls…"
"It's okay." Another forced smile. "It's all good, D."
It wasn't okay.
She wasn't okay.
That night continued to haunt her and it broke my damn heart because I couldn't pull her out of her own mind. I couldn't break through that window. I was helpless and stuck on the outside of that particular window.
"To be honest, I'm surprised you kept any of this stuff."
"Why wouldn't I keep it?"
"Because you erased me," she reminded me.
I stiffened. "I didn't erase you."
"No, you didn't erase me and I didn't wear your trust around my neck until it hung me," she shot back and then flushed bright red. "God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
"Yeah, you did."
"Okay," she conceded with a blush. "Maybe I did, but it was shitty."
"Yeah." I shrugged. "Well, my behavior's been more than shitty at times."
She smirked. "True."
"Let's have a little fun with that iPod of yours," I said then, desperate to ease the tension and put the smile back on her face. "I'm gonna give you a song."
"Huh?" Confusion swept across her pretty features. "A song?"
"That's right." Snagging her iPod off the nightstand, I quickly returned to her. "I'm gonna pick a song that reminds me of you and then you're going to do the same," I explained, flicking through her iPod until I found the perfect song to penetrate her walls. "Here –" Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl drifted from the little speaker on her nightstand, "This one's perfect for you."
Molly grinned. "Real cute, D. Is this the part where I'm supposed to swoon?" Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the iPod from me. "Now this one is perfect for you."