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The Looking-Glass Curse: The Complete Series

Page 44

by Eva Chase


  I couldn’t blame that on the Duchess, not completely. That was me, through and through.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Lyssa

  T heo led the way back to the Tower through a series of side streets he must have felt were most likely to keep us out of view. I kept waiting, hoping, for Chess to appear out of thin air beside us with his carefree grin. The shining silver spire came into view up ahead, and he still hadn’t turned up.

  “Do you think Chess is okay?” I asked in the elevator shaft after we’d let the Red Knight off on the third floor.

  “If there’s anyone who can keep out of sight, it’s our Cheshire,” Theo said, but I could still see a little strain in his expression. The confrontation in the club had bothered him more than he was trying to let on. The frustration that had been niggling at me since we’d left chomped down harder.

  I held my tongue about that for now. “Did you find out anything about Rabbit?”

  “If what I saw indicates what it should, then we’re not much closer to finding you a route home than we were before,” he said. “I believe I saw the mark of the Queen’s seal on his hand, which would suggest she’s given him permission to travel via her personal looking-glass.”

  “The one you already knew about,” I said, my heart sinking.

  “Yes. I’m sorry, Lyssa. I’ll test my suspicions as soon as I can.”

  I wasn’t sure how much I’d really believed there might be another mirror, easier to get to. I definitely still wasn’t sure what I’d do if we found one.

  When we came into his office, Theo headed straight across the room toward the hallway that led to the more private rooms. I stopped in my tracks halfway there. If I was going to say it, I might as well say it now.

  “You didn’t have to step in, back there in the club,” I said. “I was fine.”

  Theo turned, his shoulders tensing. “You were challenging the Queen’s guards. They have the authority to take your head without thinking twice, Lyssa. The less you talk to them, the less you even look at them, the better.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, fighting the urge to outright hug myself. “I didn’t give anything away. I made it sound like I was on the Queen’s side. And I stopped them from hurting that… that kid. He hardly looked older than Doria.”

  “He was already apologizing. They wouldn’t have taken it too far.”

  “How far is too far?” I said. “Even if they just bash him around, he isn’t going to reset in perfect health overnight like everyone used to, remember?”

  The flicker of Theo’s eyes suggested maybe he hadn’t quite remembered that. He’d been born into the freeze, after the Queen of Hearts had trapped time, he’d told me. Until the last week, he’d never known anything except a world that reset around him with every midnight.

  He raked his hand through his chestnut curls. “He’ll be a lot worse off if we lose you,” he said. “You’re the key to bringing her down, whatever you decide to do after that. Wonderland needs you—with your head attached.”

  “What kind of queen am I going to be if I stand back and watch while a couple of bullies beat up a kid?” I demanded. “If I’m going to make a decision, I have to know—I have to see—I have to at least try to stand up for someone. I have to know how much risk I can handle. I have to know if I’m willing to do enough. I sure as hell shouldn’t be taking any thrones if I can’t handle myself even in a little scene like that. Shouldn’t a queen be ready to defend her people?”

  For possibly the first time since I’d met him, the confidence in Theo’s stance faltered. He stared at me. There was something so fraught in his expression that my stomach knotted.

  “I get that you want to protect me,” I said. “And I appreciate it. You’ve done so much for me. I just feel like it’s time I start to find my own feet here. I want to do the right thing. Can you understand that?”

  His chuckle came out ragged. “I understand. Lyssa, you don’t have anything to prove.”

  I swallowed hard, my arms tightening around my chest. “I do. To myself, to find my limits. And…” I thought of him this morning, the way he’d responded so quickly to the plight of that old woman and her grandson. All the times before that I’d watched him devote himself to the cause of helping Wonderland’s people. It wasn’t just my hesitation about my supposed role here that had pushed me to act. The ache in my heart propelled the words up my throat.

  “I want to prove to you that I’m strong enough to at least see this rebellion through. I—I want to prove that I’m worthy of your respect, as an equal, not some stumbling Otherlander.”

  “You’ve already proven all of that,” Theo said. “And my opinion shouldn’t matter that much anyway.”

  “It does,” I said. His dark brown gaze held mine so intently I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t stop the words from coming out either, even though my voice dropped to a whisper. “It does because I’m falling in love with you.”

  His whole face shifted then, with a mix of emotions I couldn’t track. Somehow his eyes brightened and darkened in the same moment, relief and hope and horror colliding.

  “Lyssa...” He didn’t seem to know what to say.

  “I don’t expect anything because of that,” I said quickly. “It is what it is.”

  Theo was shaking his head. He gripped the edge of the worktable beside him. “That’s not why— We haven’t had much time to get to know each other. I haven’t let you get to know certain sides. There are things about me that, if you knew them… I doubt you’d even like me anymore.”

  Now it was my turn to stare at him. Was he kidding me? “I’m sure there can’t possibly be anything that bad,” I said.

  He gave me a tight smile. “Oh, there is.”

  I found the courage to take a step toward him and then another. What painful secrets was he holding in, like Chess had, out of masculine pride or whatever?

  “Why don’t you tell me then, and see if I think this stuff is really so awful?”

  Theo let out a halting laugh. “You know, I thought I was holding back because I was putting Wonderland ahead of everything. But more and more I’m not so certain. I’m starting to think it’s actually that I’m more selfish than I’d like to admit, and I haven’t convinced myself yet that telling all is worth the risk of losing you.”

  Something like hope fluttered in my chest. What we’d shared together had meant more than just a little enjoyment to him too, then. God, I didn’t even know how much longer I was staying here, but faced with him looking at me with all that conflicted passion, it was hard to think of how anything could be more important.

  I walked over until I was close enough to rest my hand on his chest. He gazed down at me. I charted every inch of his face, from those warm eyes to his beautifully crooked nose to the full lips set over that square jaw.

  “I don’t think you could have done anything I wouldn’t understand,” I said. “Maybe I haven’t known you that long, but I’ve seen you when lives are on the line, when everything depends on the orders you give or how you act. I know you. I know how much you care about people. I know how far you’re willing to go for them.”

  Theo set his hand over mine, letting his head bow until his forehead almost touched mine. “You have no idea how much I’d like to be the man you’ve seen and nothing more—or less.”

  “You are that man,” I said firmly. “I don’t think you’re perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. But, hell, I’d bet no one could meet whatever standards you’re trying to hold yourself to.”

  “I should be able to. I’m the Inventor, and the White Knight, and— I’m the person all of Wonderland needs to turn to.”

  “Not on your own,” I said. “At least for a little while, they can turn to me too.”

  Theo made a strangled sound, and then he was sweeping his fingers into my hair and tugging me to him. His mouth claimed mine with a deeper hunger than I’d ever felt from him before, so forceful and potent I lost my breath. He was claiming me, in every sens
e of the word, one hand loosening my braid, the other tracing a heated path down the side of my body, his hot tongue delving into my mouth.

  His fingers traveled up over my ass and back beneath my dress, hiking it to my waist. He loosened my bra with a yank. I whimpered into his kiss as he fondled the sensitive curves of my breasts, not rough but raptly, as if he meant to work every ounce of pleasure he could into my body. My tongue tangled with his. I quivered with the swivel of his palm.

  Theo devoured me with one more searing kiss. Then he pulled back with a sound in his throat as if the brief loss of contact was painful. He wrenched my dress off and tossed it onto one of the worktables. An instant later, he’d captured my mouth again. Without breaking the kiss, he walked me backward until my shoulders hit the wall. His body pressed against me—his still clothed, mine nearly naked—with so much coiled strength my panties dampened at the sensation.

  He dipped lower to chart a path across my throat and collarbone before flicking one of my nipples into his mouth. My fingers dug into his hair as he sucked it hard and teased it with the edges of his teeth. A whimper of need broke from my lips. Without missing a beat, he shifted his attentions to my other breast, his thumb massaging over the one he’d just marked. Every swipe of his fingers and his tongue sent shivers of ecstasy through my chest.

  I groaned in protest when he released my tender flesh, but my disappointment only lasted a moment. He trailed kisses down my stomach to my panties and pressed his mouth against my core through the thin fabric. I gasped, my hips bucking. Pleasure coursed through me as he worked me over through that delicate barrier and then wrenched them down to taste me skin to skin.

  My knees wobbled. I clung to his head as a moan rippled through me. He sucked on my clit, and I nearly burst apart right there. But God, I wanted more than this. His urgency was catching. I wanted all of him, and I wanted him now.

  “Theo,” I gasped out, my grip tightening. I urged him upward, and he came. His mouth caught mine again, tart with my own musky flavor and his rose-raspberry scent. I arched against the bulge of his erection.

  “Lyssa,” he rasped, tearing his lips from mine for just a few seconds. “I want you to be my queen. I want to worship you on that fucking throne.”

  My throat swelled with promises I wanted to give when he was driving me this wild but couldn’t quite bring myself to say. Theo didn’t wait for an answer. He kissed me hard, the solid length of his cock flush against my clit, and I was ready to be worshiped right now, in every way he felt like offering.

  I tugged open his slacks. His breath hitched when I curled my fingers around his straining erection.

  He hefted me up against the wall and thrust into me in one smooth movement. I cried out as pleasure shot through my core. He held me there, braced between the wall and his weight, his hand clamped on my thigh.

  My legs locked behind him. My world narrowed down to the cool surface against my naked back and the scorching-hot man between my thighs, plunging deeper as I bucked my hips to meet him as well as I could. Bliss spiraled through me, faster and sharper each time he drove into me.

  “Yes,” I mumbled. “Yes.” Not to being queen, just to being fucked this hard. I clasped my hands behind Theo’s neck. Our kisses had become so sloppy with our ragged breaths that my teeth nicked his lip. He shuddered against me with a groan.

  His hand dipped down, and his fingers swiveled against my clit, jerky but sure. The fresh bolt of pleasure sent me careening over the edge. “Oh, fuck. Oh, yes.” My head tipped back against the wall, my body shaking in his hold, and my vision whited out in the blaze of bliss.

  Theo thrust even harder, and I came apart a second time right on the heels of the first. As my body clenched around him, he came too, the rush of his stuttered breath as hot as the gush of his release inside me.

  My legs were still wobbly when he helped me ease them to the ground. He stayed leaning over me, warming me and holding me in place. I grasped the front of his shirt, suddenly unsure what to say. I’d confessed my feelings. He hadn’t actually said anything directly about his. I didn’t know how much any of this could mean anyway.

  Theo made it simple. He tipped his head close by my ear. “Stay the night?” he asked. “I can send one of the twins to let Hatter know you’re okay.”

  I could do that. And maybe the fact that he’d asked was all I needed to know. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

  “Yes.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Lyssa

  I found the Red Knight sitting with a bemused expression in a boxy armchair in the third floor apartment’s living room, watching Dee and Dum play a board game that appeared to involve a lot of cheering and hand-waving. Dee turned one of his waves toward me with a smile. Dum offered me a quick nod.

  “I should go by Hatter’s and see if Chess has turned up,” I said to my recently acquired bodyguard. “And I’m supposed to be meeting Unicorn in a bit. I assumed you’d want to know where I’m going.”

  “I’ll be going where you’re going,” the Red Knight said with a determined huff, springing to his feet. His gangly body was still pretty limber despite his obvious age.

  “Good luck with the horny one!” Dee called after us as we headed to the elevator. Dum snorted at the pun.

  Walking down the hall, the Red Knight brushed his hands over his borrowed shirt and trousers. “I would feel more at ease in my customary uniform,” he said with a hopeful note in his voice.

  “I know,” I said. “But no one around here wears armor. If the people here are willing to report Chess, someone’s bound to let the guards know if they see you in that get-up. It keeps both of us safer if you blend in.”

  “That’s the only reason I agreed.” He tugged at his wispy hair, which was starting to fluff up again, and sighed with a pat of his pocket. “I’m less convinced about trading my sword for this knife. I am trained in the knightly arts, not those of pickpockets and scoundrels.”

  The corners of my mouth twitched with suppressed amusement. “I’m pretty sure honorable people can use knives too. A sword would definitely attract attention. If we plan on getting into a real fight, you can bring it along then.”

  “And you can bring yours, your Majesty,” he said, looking pleased at the thought.

  Other than the ruby ring, which I was still wearing on the chain hidden under my shirt, the Red royal artifacts were hidden in a secret compartment Hatter had shown me in the back of my bedroom’s wardrobe. I hadn’t actually used the sword on anything other than grass so far. The idea of using it on another human being made my stomach twist. I’d do it if I had to, but it wasn’t something I’d look forward to.

  “Will we be marching on the palace soon?” the Red Knight asked me as we came to a stop at the elevator door. “It will be a blessing to see you take your rightful place at last.”

  He never seemed to remember that I hadn’t been waiting for this moment for hundreds of years—that I hadn’t even existed to be anyone’s heir until a couple decades ago. What would he do if I left for home instead of claiming the throne after the Queen of Hearts was overthrown? Go back to his hilly home and hope I’d have a daughter or granddaughter who’d be more interested in ruling?

  The twist in my gut turned into a pang of guilt when he beamed at me. I paused before stepping into the elevator shaft.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “That’s a bigger fight than we were prepared to jump right into. First we have to make sure the prisoners she’s been taking get out of there safely. And… you know I’ve told you I’m not sure I actually want to be queen.”

  Like before, he brushed off the idea with a guffaw. “Once your place is open to you, you’ll feel the rightness of it. You were born for this.”

  Hadn’t Aunt Alicia been born for it too? And the two Alices who’d turned up in Wonderland before her? None of them had ended up on that throne. How could I tell if I was the right one when they hadn’t been?

  “It just doesn’t seem fair that you’re spending all
your time following me all over the place, ready to protect me, when I’m not even sure what I’m doing,” I said. “It’s not fair to you. Isn’t there anything else you want to do now that you’re in the city? You should get to have a life that’s more than just waiting around for me.”

  The Red Knight caught my eyes with his pale blue ones. Normally they looked a little foggy, but in that moment they gazed back at me perfectly clearly, with a glint of awareness that made me wonder if he’d been hearing me better than he’d let on.

  “My dear Princess Lyssa, soon to be Queen Lyssa,” he said. “Your family is my life. I went into the service when I was but six, running errands in the palace, and it was my greatest honor to rise to the rank of Knight. For a short time, I was a part of the goodness and grandeur that Wonderland used to be—for all its people. I gave up my daughter so your bloodline could live on. Spending these days with you after spending so many waiting on my own across the Plains is no sacrifice at all.”

  A lump rose in my throat. “I don’t know if I’ll be as good or as grand as you hope I’ll be.”

  His wizened face shifted with a soft smile. “It’s enough to be here to see you try. I had faith the time would come before my own time ended. My faith was rewarded. That’s all I need. There’s nothing you could offer me that would make me want to miss one moment toward you finding your place here, however that may come to be.”

  I didn’t know how to argue with that. How could his belief in me feel like a gift and a burden at the same time?

  But maybe the trying really was all he needed. I was going to try my fucking heart out to make things better here, even if better didn’t involve me on any thrones. I couldn’t run away and leave these people under the Heart family’s thumb, not even if I found a mirror that would take me home with a brush of my fingers.

  “Okay then,” I said. “Let’s see what we can do to bring down a tyrant.”

 

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