Chapter Two
LAURIE
One week passes, then two. I hear nothing, absolutely nothing from Jesse and that’s when it settles in, he isn’t coming back. I fucked everything up and he’s gone. It’s for the better, definitely for the better. That’s what I tell myself every single morning when I drag myself out of bed.
It’s been two weeks, three days, and fourteen hours since Jesse walked out of the salon. Today is one of the rare days when I’m not working, and I’m in misery. I’m feeling downright sorry for myself parked in front of the television watching The Learning Channel.
There’s a knock on my door and I’m not sure who it is, but I sprint to the door hoping that it’s Jesse or anyone at this point who will take my mind off of the mess that I’ve made of my life. Two weeks without him being persistent, two weeks without even a phone call and I’m realizing the mistake I’ve made, the grave mistake.
I should have given him the chance that he deserves. The chance that deep down, I want to give him. But I need him to fight for it, fight for me, and never not ever give up. I’ve had way too many people give up on me. Hutton has been the only constant in my entire life. In my experience, everyone leaves and the silence from Jesse proves that.
“Hello?” I ask the strange man standing on my front porch.
“Laurie Howard?”
“Yes?”
He shoves an envelope at me, lifting his chin. “You’ve been served.”
Then without another word, he turns and jogs away from my house. My heart clenches, then it does something that I didn’t think was possible anymore. I thought that I had guarded it better than that, but it does it anyway—it cracks.
I take a step back, just enough to slam my door closed, turn around and sink to my ass. Leaning my back against the closed door, I rip open the envelope and tug out the papers. My eyes have already started to water before I can even read whatever the fuck they say.
Everything on the paper is a blur. But I get the gist loud and fucking clear. I’ve lost him. I’ve lost the only chance I’ll ever have at happiness, because believe it or not, the few times that I was with Jesse were the best of my entire life.
I let out a hiccupping sob as I pinch my eyes closed. It’s done. It’s over. He wants nothing to do with me. He’s offering me child support and has requested a visitation agreement, all through his lawyer. He doesn’t even want to see me.
Lowering myself to my side, I curl into a small ball and I cry myself to sleep on the hard tile of my entryway. I stay that way for an entire twenty-four hours. Nobody even knows where I am or what I’m doing. Nobody cares.
JESSE
The text message dings and I don’t even have to look at it to know what it says. I do anyway. My stomach twists at the sight.
HAND DELIVERED
Pinching my eyes closed, I toss my phone to the nightstand and throw my arm over my eyes.
Fuck.
This is the last fucking thing that I wanted. The fact is, I was really fucking excited about Laurie getting knocked up. I was freaked, but once I calmed my ass down, I realized that this would be cool as shit.
Laurie is hot, she’s sweet and she’s a goddamn ace in the sack. I don’t know that there would be a better woman to make mine. She’s so fucking stubborn though, and she won’t even give me a goddamn inch.
My phone starts to dance on my nightstand and I debate not answering it. In the end, I grab it, without looking at the ID.
“Hello,” I bark.
“You sound like hell,” a deep voice that I clearly recognize rumbles.
I grunt, refusing to tell him that I feel like hell, too. I also don’t tell him about the paperwork from my lawyer that a courier took to her place today. It feels like a lie, but it also feels too fucking personal to offer.
“She’s hurtin’, man.”
My gut clenches from his words. “She’s choosing to feel that way, Beau. She’s the one that pushed and pushed until I had no choice but to walk away.”
“Maybe there’s a reason, you think of that?”
I shake my head, knowing damn well that he can’t see me. “I have no doubt that there is. No woman runs that hot then shuts down a man in the next breath for no reason. She won’t give me even an inch, Beau. There’s no breaking through and I don’t know what else to do, not into beating my head against a wall.”
“I get it,” he claims. He doesn’t. He has a woman, one that practically fell at his feet the minute he tried to get back in her life. Laurie is not like that, not at fucking all. “I just hate to see you both regretting this shit.”
“You and me both,” I admit on a whisper.
Beaumont is silent for a moment, then I hear his heavy sigh before he speaks. “I’ll be back in town in a few months and we can schedule recording sessions and shit.”
I tell him that sounds good and am grateful for the shift in conversation. We hang up and I go back to lying on the bed, my arm covering my eyes and wondering if I’m fucking everything up.
Then, I decide that if she wants me, she’s going to have to come to me. I can’t beg her, not anymore. I’ve done more begging with that woman than I ever have, never got so hard for a bitch in my entire goddamn life, either.
Chapter Three
LAURIE
“You’re doing what?” Hutton cries, her lips parted in shock.
Nodding, I shove the papers at her chest. “If he wants me to sign this shit, he’s going to ask me in person. I’m not putting up with this passive-aggressive bullshit the rest of my life,” I snap.
Obviously, I’ve moved on from sad to angry. And I am just that. Straight fucking pissed off. What a pussy. He’s going to face me if he wants me to sign this. Look me in the eyes and tell me that this is what he wants.
“Laurie, I thought this was what you wanted? I think he could have….” Her voice soft and sweet, just like she is, but she doesn’t finish her sentence.
Shaking my head once, I dip my chin to look down at my suede high-heeled ankle booties. God, I know that I shouldn’t be wearing them, but I love them. I love all high heels and I’m wearing them until I can absolutely not wear them a minute longer.
“He could have what?” I demand.
She looks down at the ground, then takes her phone out of her pocket and shoves it toward me. There’s a picture of Jesse and a mystery woman, who is barely clothed, on his balcony.
Lifting my gaze back up to meet hers, I look directly in Hutton’s eyes. “I want what you have with Beau. I want what Channing and Exeter have. I want what Tulip and Louis are working toward. I want it all. I want everything.”
Tears fill my eyes and I hate that. Hutton has never seen me cry, not ever. She doesn’t even know everything about my life. We’ve known each other for years, but I’ve kept most of what went on in my life from her. She has not a single fucking clue. She thinks I’m just her wild, boy crazy, sex-obsessed friend.
Hutton reaches for me, wrapping her fingers around my forearm and squeezes gently. “Then you should have it, all of it. Is Jesse the one you want it with, truly?”
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I jerk my head in a small nod. “No man has ever made me feel the way that he does. I’m going to get to the bottom of this picture,” I snap before giving her phone back to her.
“Then don’t you dare give up without a fight.”
Wrapping my arms around her shoulders, I pull her in for a hug. My big belly and her small one gets in the way and we giggle. “I’m not going down that easily. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that I’ll hate myself if I don’t truly try.”
Hutton’s lips turn up into a grin. “Go and get your man,” she whispers.
“You know this is going to be embarrassing as shit, right?”
She shrugs a shoulder and lifts her hand with a small wave. “I’d rather be embarrassed than live with regret.”
My eyes lift to meet hers and I jerk my chin in a nod. “Which is the only reason I’
m even doing this.”
Her lips curve up and she sucks in a breath. “You got this. You’re the strongest woman that I know.” She hands me the papers that I’d shoved at her chest and I let out a long exhale.
Turning away from her, I don’t say anything else, gripping the bullshit papers in my hand, I make my way to my car.
Starting my engine, I lift my gaze to her. She’s no longer alone, Beaumont is at her back, watching me. If I had to guess, he probably heard everything. I just hope that he doesn’t go running to Jesse, because I’m going to catch that asshole off guard.
JESSE
The maid cleans around me. I don’t know her name, never have, but I hired her because she was hot. God, I’m such a dick. She flounces around in her short exercise shorts with the bottom of her ass cheeks hanging out and a sports bra that barely contains her tits.
My eyes follow her, but my cock doesn’t even twitch. Swear to fuck my dick is broken. I’ve been drinking since Beaumont called me two days ago. I shouldn’t be drinking. I should be practicing, writing music, doing anything but being a lazy fuck having a goddamn pity party.
“Is there anything else you need, Mr. Morales,” she breathes, leaning over a little too far. She did this same shit a couple days ago when I was trying to drink myself to oblivion on my balcony.
“Nope,” I snap.
She nods, licking her artificially plumped lips and smirks. “Just call me, night or day and I’ll be here to give you a helping hand,” she purrs.
Lifting my hand, I wave her off. I won’t be calling her, not ever. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the chair and bring my bottle to my lips. I hear the door open then close. A few seconds later, the door opens and closes again.
I wait to see what she wants, if maybe she forgot something, but she doesn’t call out or say a single word.
That is.
Until I hear a voice that I didn’t anticipate hearing for a hell of a long time. “Your girlfriend looks like a hooker.”
My eyes open, my head lifts and it happens so fast that I feel light-headed. I think that maybe it’s a dream, so I blink. But it’s not. She’s here, standing in my living room, her arms crossed right beneath her chest, her belly, fuck. Her belly is even bigger than it was the last time I saw her and it’s so fucking breathtaking. It’s beautiful, just like she is.
“Not my girlfriend,” I rasp.
“Are you drunk, at three in the afternoon?” she asks, narrowing her gaze on me.
Jerking my chin, I shrug a shoulder at the same time. “Not much else I got goin’ on at the moment.”
“You’re a dick,” she snaps before she tosses an envelope on my lap.
Looking at the envelope, I wince before lifting my gaze back up to her. “How’d you get here? Why are you here?”
She presses her lips together before she speaks. “Because I’m an idiot,” she whispers. “I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable, but here I am, and I knew it would bite me in the ass. I did it anyway, because I’m an idiot.”
Chapter Four
LAURIE
Jesse blinks, but he doesn’t say anything. I don’t think that his mind is working very quickly. He really is trashed and judging by the smell emanating from him, he’s been in this state for at least two, maybe three days.
He tries to stand, but can’t gain his bearings and ends up falling back on his ass in the chair. I watch as he grips the armrests with a growl.
“Next time you want to give me something like that,” I snap, pointing at the envelope in his lap. “You do it in person like a man. Never send a courier like that again, you pussy.”
Turning from him, I start to walk away, but I don’t get far. I don’t know how, but Jesse got his ass up and is now pressing his chest to my back while his hands gently grasp my biceps. Goosebumps break out all over my body when I feel his lips touch the side of my neck.
“Jesse,” I breathe.
His hands slide down my arms, then make their way to my belly, cupping my rounded stomach, his hands open and expand over my entire belly.
“Don’t walk away, babe. Don’t take yourself away from me,” he breathes against my skin.
Shaking my head, I pinch my eyes closed, trying to fight back my tears. “I can’t do this.”
“What, Laurie?”
Inhaling a trembling breath, I let it out, shakily. “This, all of this. I can’t open myself up and have you hurt me. I can’t do it.”
Jesse’s fingers flex against my belly, his tongue snaking out to taste my neck and my knees knock, my thighs tremble at the sensation. Leaning back against him, I lift one of my hands and wrap my fingers around the back of his neck.
Turning my head to the side, I touch my lips to the underside of his three-week-old scruffy jaw. “Jesse,” I breathe.
It’s an innocent moment, but I know the promise that his hands and mouth hold—the promise his body holds. I want all that is promised, too. I want to keep him and I’m afraid that I could really be too late.
“You make me fucking miserable, Laurie,” he mumbles against my skin, his voice slightly slurred. “But I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you, too. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
Turning around in his arms, I wrap one of my hands around the side of his neck, the other I place on the center of his chest.
“I’ve never done this before.”
“What?” he asks, looking completely fucking lost. I just hope that he remembers this tomorrow, because I refuse to say this shit again. Not ever again.
Focusing my gaze on his, I bite the inside of my cheek before I tell him. “I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never chased a man. I’ve never wanted anyone to get too close.”
“What are you scared of?” he asks.
I shrug a shoulder, even though I know exactly what I’m terrified of. I’m not scared, I’m downright terrified. He searches my gaze, but I don’t give it away, not yet. I have to be able to trust him and right now, I don’t even trust myself, let alone anyone else.
“Everything,” I breathe.
JESSE
Tilting my head to the side, I touch my mouth to hers. I’m sure I taste like the booze I’ve been drinking, but I don’t care. Laurie is here, right in front of me. She’s fucking real and she’s opening herself up in a way I honestly believe she’s never done before.
“I’m not going anywhere, babe,” I rasp.
“Oh yeah?” she asks, arching a brow. “That letter you had delivered would suggest otherwise.”
Searching his gaze with my own, I press my lips together. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was at a fucking loss. You made it clear you didn’t want me, didn’t want us.”
“I’m an idiot.”
I snort. “No, you’re scared shitless. Me too. Let’s be scared together.”
“I can try. You have to be patient.”
My lips twitch and I’m sure that she’s going to be pissed at me, but since my filter is completely gone, I say it anyway. “You stay in my bed, you fuck me the way I like, I can be patient as shit.”
“You’re disgusting,” she breathes, but her eyes dilate and I know that’s what she wants too.
Grinning, I chuckle before I speak. “You love it, babe.”
“I don’t love the fact that you’ve been fucking other women while I’ve been back in Texas,” she snaps, her attitude changing in the blink of an eye.
Frowning, I tilt my head to the side as she takes a step back, her eyes no longer soft and hazy, they’re now full of sexy as fuck fire.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask, knowing damn well I haven’t even jacked off since I’ve been home.
She crosses her arms again, pushing those luscious tits out, again. “I saw the pictures of y’all on your balcony and the bitch just passed me on my way in. She had the audacity to lick her lips and moan about how sore she was.”
My brows shoot up and I put my hands on my hips, tilting my chin down to look a
t my bare feet, trying to hide my smile. Laurie stomps her high heeled booted foot and I lift my gaze up to meet hers.
Fucking fire.
Fucking sexy.
Fucking shit.
My cock hardens at the sight of her all ramped up, all jealous, and all fucking mine.
“She’s my cleaning lady. I don’t even know her name.”
“In that outfit?”
I shrug a shoulder. “Outfit is the reason I hired her, but swear to fuck, I’ve never touched her.”
“I’m supposed to believe you?”
Closing the distance between us, I wrap my fingers around her hips and tug her toward me. “Yeah, you fucking are. You’ve been the only bitch on my cock in months, in six months. Just you, babe.”
“Liar,” she snorts.
Shaking my head, I touch my mouth to hers. “Can’t even get it up for my hand lately, Laurie. Fuck, it’s only you.”
Chapter Five
LAURIE
On my knees, my ass tipped back, my big belly careful not to touch the bed. My legs spread wide, and Jesse behind me. I hold my breath, waiting for him to sink inside, but he’s taking his time. His hands skim up the backs of my thighs and a purr escapes my lips.
“Jesse,” I snap when his hands grab my ass, separate my cheeks, but then do nothing else.
He chuckles, shifting behind me. His lips touch just below one of my cheeks. “Taking my time. I haven’t had you in a while, and fuck, but I missed you, Laurel.”
His words are a whisper, but I don’t miss the way that he’s used my given name, it causes me to shiver. There is almost something sweet about this moment. No, there is something sweet. His fingers dance up my side and around my belly. He doesn’t linger there, instead both of his hands cup my breasts and he firmly squeezes.
KILLER: An Unfit Hero Novel Page 31