by Raven Scott
“Mateo is . . . a very unique kind of person, Lucy. He’s been through a lot.” Sniffling harshly, I only gulped down the snot that pooled at the back of my throat, and Oran and I fell into a peaceful silence. Staring at the ceiling through bleary, achy eyes, the congealed week that’d slipped by flickered broken behind my sockets. An ache sprung up against my temple, and Oran only intensified it when he continued. “Lucy, if you want, we can set you up with a therapist of ours. Someone you don’t have to lie to.”
“I just want to go see my dog. That’s enough therapy for me.” Tilting my head to gaze at Oran, I frowned at the concern knitting his brows. “What?”
“I’d firmly suggest you talk to someone before you head home, Lucy.” Pursing my lips thinly, I only jerked my head in a nod, and Oran steepled his fingers as I laid my head back down on the edge of the hospital bed. I was tired, and I just wanted to go home, but I didn’t want to leave Mateo here alone. “It’s a difficult situation for you to be in, I know, but keeping those secrets pent up in you is going to eat away at you, Lucy. You were held hostage for a week, and even though it could’ve been worse, it was still a terrible thing you had to endure.”
“Yeah.” I just agreed with him, my blurred gaze fixing on the ring on my finger as it glinted in the low light streaming down from above. We were in a nice hospital, a small one by all accounts. I didn’t know if the place was empty because the wing was bought out or something, or if it was just a slow hospital, but the peace was nice. “If you say so.”
Maybe, Oran realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with me, and he stood up to leave me in the comfort of the rank stench of cleaner and steady beeping of machines. When the door shut gently, Mateo squeezed my hand, and my breath hitched in surprise when he turned his head to face me.
“You’re awake! Oh, my God, you’re awake!” Relief and happiness leaked from my eyes, and Mateo cracked a small smile as he gingerly rolled his shoulders. The bandages on his back stretched, the tape crinkling quietly, and I reached my free hand to stroke his face with trembling fingers. “Mateo . . . ”
“Hey, I didn’t know your hair was blonde.” Blubbering a laugh at his croak, I sniffled hard, and my face heated as Mateo carefully rolled onto his side. His face twisted with a wince, and my heart leaped into my throat when he sat up with a low grunt. “Are you okay, Lucy?”
“I’m fine. I’m fine. Because of you.” Reaching to wipe my eyes with his thumb, Mateo smiled so beautifully, the relief palpably spewing from his pores as I nodded furiously. “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”
“I still think I might. I know Oran likes to do things quiet, but that was surreal. I keep thinking I’ll open my eyes and we’ll still be in that room.” Climbing onto the hospital bed, I wrapped my arms around Mateo’s neck to hold him tight, and the faint smell of him was calming and familiar. Goosebumps washed my arms and chest as he rubbed my sides and up my back, and I closed my eyes to bury my face in the crook of his shoulder. “I heard what you said about your alibi. Is that the truth about your friend?”
“Mikayla? She knows that I regret saying ‘yes’, so she’ll back me up. At least, in front of people, she will. There’s no way she’ll not know I’m lying, though. What do I tell her?” My mumble earned me a low groan of acknowledgement, and Mateo cupped the back of my head to knead my scalp.
“The best lies are the ones closest to the truth, so tell her you shacked up with a guy for a week. It’s as close to true as you can get. You didn’t cheat or anything, but you had a lot of time to think and someone to bounce your thoughts off of. If she asks how we met, just say we booked the same room by accident.” That was an interesting way to spin things, and I nodded firmly as Mateo’s thickening beard scraped my temple. “If she keeps asking, just tell her it was a really rough, soul-searching journey, and you don’t want to give details.”
“I don’t want to leave you.” The confession dried my mouth, and Mateo’s hand paused against my scalp as his heart stuttered against mine. Tightening my grip on him, I held my breath as my lungs became small and tight, and he pressed his cheek against my temple firmly.
“You have to, Lucy. You have people to get back to. I bet your dog misses you like crazy.” A sad lilt in his tone nearly stopped my heart, and Mateo pulled back to cup my face in both his hands. His smile was hallow and shriveled, and I hiccupped a sob as he pressed his forehead against mine. “That’s reason enough to go back to Tennessee, right? For your dog.”
“Mateo . . . ”
“Hey, can you go get me something to eat? I’m starving.” His palms fell from my skin, leaving me ice cold, and I nodded mutely before throwing my legs over the side of the bed. Mateo arched and grumbled and hissed as he twisted, throwing his elbows out, and tingles shot up and down my legs when I put my weight on them. Dread gnawed through my gut, and I glanced back as he raised his arms above his head.
Even after the past week, he was toned and muscular. Maybe, that wasn’t a long time, but . . .
“Oh, Lucy, can you get the nurse for me, too.” I nodded again, and my soles barely left the linoleum as I shuffled out of the room. Shutting the door behind me, I swiped back my hair and rubbed my hands up my face roughly to heave a massive sigh. The hallway was quiet, and I made my way to the nurse’s station to get someone into Mateo’s room. Everything in me screamed to go back, to hold him and never let go, and I crossed my arms tightly over my chest to keep my heart from breaking through my ribs.
6
Mateo
“You sound different than you did before.” The words filtered through my scope of comprehension weakly, and I glanced over at Oran through the swirling, polarized glass. Water soaked my hair and stung my back fiercely, but I barely felt it. I was just glad to be clean, and I swept back my hair absently. “Wanna talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about? All they did was whip me. Occasionally, I took a punch to the face. Standard stuff. Honestly, I was kinda disappointed.” Sourness dribbled from my teeth like acid, and I placed both my palms on the tiled wall to stretch. My sternum popped satisfyingly, and my lip curled up when the cuts on my back screamed in protest. “S-shit, I mean, there’s not much to say.”
“Lucy’s going home today.” That declaration hurt more than my back, and I ducked my head to pop the joints high on my spine. Every part of me was stiff, but the warm water helped. “Is it because of the kidnapping, or because of her?”
“Is what, Oran? I had a life-altering, catastrophic event happen, and you’re wondering if it did alter my life? Yes, it did. Yeah, it was her. What’s your point? Lucy’s going back to Tennessee, and me, I’ll go back to being Carlyle’s bitch.” He was quiet at the harshness in my tone, and I flopped my head back roughly to straighten and twist the water off sharply. Bitterness flooded my chest, and sourness coated my tongue as I pushed open the door and glared at my brother. “Do you know how hard it was to pretend that I knew for sure, with absolute certainty, that we were going to be rescued? That someone was looking for us? That you or Carlyle would find us? When I didn’t really believe that myself? I mean, where the fuck was, he when I was ready to jump out the window of a penthouse? Where were you, huh, Oran? Why does anyone care about me now when no one cared about me before? Oh, suddenly the only people who can abuse me are Carlyle and his fucking sadistic secretary?”
“You’re my brother, Mateo. Even if Carlyle abandoned you, I wouldn’t.” Gulping down the dense lump in my throat, I snatched the towel off the hook to wrap it around my waist, and Oran took off his glasses to wipe the lenses with his t-shirt hem. “I’ve offered almost every time we talked for you to come to Seattle, and you always said ‘no’. I know being under Carlyle’s heel like that is depressing. I did that, remember? And, like you, I had to go through a horrible, horrible event to make me see it wasn’t worth it. Even if Carlyle didn’t approve, I would find you. It’d maybe take me a while, but I would.”
“I realized that, Oran.” My back burned, and I exhale
d a heavy breath through my nose as Oran caught my gaze, fixing his glasses on his nose. The ugly feelings I held didn’t die down, though, and a frown twisted my lips as I stepped out of the bathroom. “I just . . . getting kidnapped and tortured is supposed to be a person’s low point. It’s not supposed to feel like one of the easier things I’ve been through.”
“You’re optimistic about the future, though, now . . . ” Trailing off, Oran arched a brow quizzically, and I clenched my jaw hard as my face heated in annoyance. “Unless that was an act for Lucy, too.”
“You know what they say— you lie enough to yourself, you start to believe it.” Scratching my scruff sharply, I walked over to the sink to glare at myself in the mirror. My brother was right, though— I sounded different. I looked different. “I’m sure that once I go back, it’ll just end up the same again. That’s okay, though, Oran. It really is. This is karma at its finest, and, yeah, I exaggerated for Lucy because she doesn’t deserve any of this shit.”
“Neither do you, Mateo. You know- Carlyle’s not the only one that bosses people around.” The deep, dark tone rolled down my spine, and I turned to find my dad in all his aged-like-fine-wine glory standing in the doorway to my room. His usually bright, peppy bowtie was missing, his long, thin body draped in a powerful, all black suit. Normally, my dad tried to dress light to hide the fact that he was a soulless bastard, but now . . . now, he looked a heck of a lot like the Horseman Death in Supernatural.
“What are you doing here, Dad?” The last time my father and I spoke was almost a year ago, when he told me he’d give me an out, and all I had to do was take it. Nothing ever happened. Maybe, he just never got around to it. Maybe, he never cared enough to think up something to back up his offer.
Wandering into the room, he shut the door behind him and cast his blank eyes on me. Even if he could mimic everything else perfectly, his eyes told the truth.
“I came to check on you. You’re my son, and I’ve always tried to make you feel like you mean something to me. If I wasn’t who I am, you’d still have turned out the same, Mateo.” My cheek twitched at that, but I couldn’t exactly argue about it. Up until a year ago, I didn’t even know Dad was a sociopath. I never, ever got the feeling he didn’t genuinely care about me, even though he’d never not pretended. Pulling a large envelope out of his inner jacket pocket, he held it out to me, and his gnarled, arthritic-bulging fingers gripped it loosely. “This is your out.”
“Right.” Suspicion thickened my tone, and I took the envelope to toss it carelessly onto my bed. Awkwardness stretched with the silence, and I swiped back my hair to send droplets down my back to sting my cuts. The thick, manila folder kept catching my eye, but I closed my eyes to hold back an exhausted sigh. “What’s going to happen now? I’m pretty drugged up right now, but . . . ”
“What do you mean? You can do whatever you want, Mateo. I assume that you don’t want to go back to New York. You don’t have to.” My brows rose, and my chest tightened as I sucked in a sharp breath. Goosebumps bristles down my arms, and my dad smiled reassuringly. “Carlyle will probably act like you never existed, but I doubt you’ll have a problem with that.”
“S-so, I can . . . I can just . . . ” Disbelief softened my tone, and an indescribably feeling gripped my heart tightly when my dad nodded firmly. “Good. That’s good.”
Stumbling a little to sit on the bed, I gazed blearily at the tiled floor, and the air rushed from my lungs. Covering my mouth to hide my smile, my hands and shoulders tremored, and that nipping cold that constantly hung over me finally lifted. My mind circled those words over and over again.
You can do whatever you want. Anything I don’t want to do, I don’t have to.
Wow. That was nuts. That was insane. Carlyle couldn’t order be around and step on my hand when I grumbled denial. He couldn’t send me to some shit-stain city to get me out of the way. To him, I didn’t exist anymore. I was a non-person.
A rasping laugh burst from my throat, my smile widening until tears squeezed from my eyes and my cheeks ached.
“Mateo! I go—” Lucy broke into the hospital room only to stop short when she noticed I wasn’t alone, and the large, paper bag in her hand rumpled loudly. “I-I . . . um . . . am I . . . I’ll knock again in a couple minutes.”
“No, come in.” Standing up, I gestured Lucy into the room, and she wandered in cautiously, eyes darting between my brother and father. “What’s in the bag?”
“Ooh, I wasn’t sure what you like, specifically, so I got a bacon burger, with extra bacon, and, um, yeah. Here.” Setting the bag on the foot of the bed, Lucy ducked her head, and my stomach gurgled greedily. “You’re bleeding. I’m gonna go get the doctor.”
“Yeah.” Pulling out a Styrofoam container, I popped the top to gaze at the mass of fries topped in cheese, bacon, and jalapeños. The next container had two burgers, and the third and final container was full of onion rings, and my mouth watered heavily. “You’re the best, Lucy.”
I tore my eyes off the food to smile at Lucy, but she looked so uncomfortable and sad under the thick crease between her brows. For a second, the delicious smell took the back burner, and confusion washed my chest as she gulped harshly. Lucy’s washed, fluffy, golden blonde hair swished when she nodded, and thick, red rings surrounded her eyes before she whipped around and walked out.
Rolling my jaw, I frowned at the empty doorway before turning back to the spread in front of me. All of a sudden, I’m not very hungry.
7
Lucy
“Mom stop yelling. I’m fine. I’m calling from a hospital because it was the only place I could find with a free phone.” Sliding down to sit on the floor, I held my forehead in my palm as my mom breathed fire in my ear. “Just stop yelling. I didn’t mean to worry you, but I had a lot to think about, and I didn’t want anyone trying to poison my opinion.”
The explanation was weak, but I was tired and couldn’t think of anything else. Leaning on the edge of the nurse’s station ominously, the guy who’d rescued us— not Mateo’s brother, but the other guy— pretended not to be monitoring what I said. Pulling my knees up at my mom’s astonished silence, I inhaled deeply, closed my eyes, and held my breath for a long second before continuing. “
“I’m gonna be home, like, tomorrow. Who’s been taking care of Marshal?” It was telling, how I missed my dog more than I missed anyone else. Of course, I did miss my family, but they’d be pissed and judge me and not bother trying to understand why I ‘went to think’. When Seth and I had been dating for about eight months, I’d wanted to break up with him over his fifty-fifty rule, but my mom convinced me not to.
Which was stupid, because she cheated on my dad, got divorced, then got dumped. It’s not like she knows good men, and that went for my dad, too.
“I have. You know how busy Seth is. He doesn’t need a dog that’s not his on his plate, too. You know, Lucillia, you’re so irresponsible not telling anyone and leaving your phone and everything! Something could’ve happened to you!” She flew into a rage again, and I held the phone away from my ear before she blew out my hearing as well as my sanity. “Everyone was so worried about you! Do you even understand what trouble you’ve caused? The police came to my work to talk to me about you being missing. My work! And you call out of the blue to say you were just thinking things out! Honestly, Lucy!”
My gaze drifted up to the guy watching me out of the corner of his eye— Theo, I think— and he scowled darkly. I could only shrug, since this was fairly normal, and I just had to wait for my mom to run out of steam. No amount of explaining was enough for her, and I knew that when I got home, she’d act like this conversation never happened. She’s good at that, ignoring the unsavory shit and pretending she was nasty sometimes.
“I went to a casino and won ten thousand dollars, so, obviously it wasn’t a total loss.” Theo snorted a laugh at my attempt to cut through my mom’s blind fury, and she sputtered a little as I put the phone back against my ear. “I stayed in a hotel
and they accidentally double booked, so I got a room for free. I went to the casino just to pass the time, and I hit the jackpot on some game. It was just a decision, Mom, to just step back and look at my life and decide where it was going and where I wanted it to go. I felt like I had to, so I did, and I don’t regret it.”
I don’t know why I was explaining myself to my mom I could do what I want, when I wanted, and she wasn’t entitled to know about it. True, I was lying out my teeth, but Mateo’s dad gave me a lot of money- way more than just ten thousand dollars. He even hugged me and thanked me, for why I wasn’t sure, but . . .
“You know, Mom, when Grandma died, she told me not to let anyone’s expectations of me get in the way of my expectations for myself. Even though I’ve lived there for almost ten years, I feel like I forgot what she really gave me.” The fine hairs on my face prickled at the silence, and I rested my cheek on my knees to sigh. “I have to go, but I’ll be back around noon tomorrow.”
I held up the phone before she could speak up, and Theo snatched it to stick it on the receiver. Only then did I feel like I could breathe, and the anxiety gripping me in a vise relaxed as I leaned against the wall of the nurse’s station.
“That’s your story?” Shuffling to sit next to me, Theo rubbed his face with his mangled hand, and I stared at it unashamedly, almost in adoration, before he held it out. “A tire exploded while I was deployed and sliced my fingers off. It wasn’t so bad. My girl likes it.”
“Did you go in because you were told to?” Scrunching up my face at how insensitive my question sounded, I frowned when Theo shook his head.
“Honestly, I did it because I was poor, and they paid for college. I was gonna be an engineer, but I wound up in the infantry. No one ever told me not to. No one wanted me to, though, either. The only person that cares about your happiness is you.” Theo’s gruff voice scraped my ears almost painfully, and he shot me a grim smirk as he propped his bulging forearms on his knees. “Mateo’s not the same kid he was when I met him. It’s fucking insane, honestly. That little brat that threw a drunk tantrum for no reason, spent money like crazy . . . you know, I was his bodyguard, but I always felt like his fucking nanny.”