by Raven Scott
“It was an ugly ass dress, and she was ugly in it.” Seth’s mother raged, and I cracked open my eyes to watch her try to rush at Mateo only to be halted in her tracks by a thunderous, vicious snarl. The pure black pit at my feet stood up and bristled, and suddenly, everyone took a few steps back. Meredith was red, panting, nostrils flared and lips twisting ugly, and my mom seemed to catch her fury at Mateo’s nonchalant reply. “Plus, if it cost thirteen thousand dollars, someone ripped you off. That wasn’t even good material.”
Mateo was warm, tanned, he had a little bit more muscle and was a little bit more solid. His heartbeat furiously against my cheek, and I wanted to melt as all the pent-up emotions over the past nine months just disappeared, as if they’d never been. Clearly, Mateo’s utter disregard for what he’d just done was as maddening as it was stupefying, and an awkward, tense silence settled on my shoulders.
“You got a dog.” He grumbled deep in his chest in affirmation, and I closed my eyes as it sung to my soul. “Mateo . . . ”
“Do you want a play-by-play of how fucking miserable I’ve been without you, Lucy?” That question surprised me enough that I pulled back, and Mateo had tears in his eyes as he caressed my face gently. “I am so, so sorry.”
“No, no, no, no. It’s okay. It’s alright. Hey . . . ” My chest threatened to concave under the pressure of his cracking apology, and I shook my head as he took a shuddering, weak breath. “Oh, I don’t blame you, Mateo.”
“Excuse me! What is going on here!” My mom’s scream was so shrill and angry, and I winced as I tore my eyes off Mateo. My friends and immediate family, some who’d even invited themselves without my knowledge, and Seth’s family and friends were all quiet. Over the past nine months, I went along with this wedding because everyone, with a few exceptions, demanded it. Seth and I had spent too much time together to give up, love was slow and built up over time, yada-yada-yada.
I told Seth I was going to get an annulment if he refused to back down, but I had a feeling he suspected just as I knew that I probably wouldn’t. I didn’t like being yelled at, and that’s all my mom seemed to do as she planned my wedding. I hadn’t slept with Seth, hadn’t really seen Seth, because I was too busy with my backyard and wallowing in my misery. Not to mention, Seth had told his best friend he was going to marry me because his mom told him to, and his best friend told my best friend . . . and here we were.
“Uh, obviously not the wedding you all came here for.” Mateo spoke calmly, assuredly, and he tightened his grip on my waist as he turned to my mom with a steely gaze.
“I’m not surprised a loose whore like you doesn’t know a good man when she has one!” Meredith’s teeth were fangs as she spoke viciously, and I tensed when she, in her mid-life-crisis dress, spit in my face. Horrified gasps sounded, and I trembled when Mateo let me go to punch her right in the eye. She fell back with a cry, and I wiped my cheek as I blink back the disbelief and the sting building in my eyes.
“Shit, you have a thick fucking skull, lady.” Wagging his hand as he spoke, Mateo drew my bleary gaze to him, and the scars on his back rippled furiously. The risen lines were faint pink, some were white, and my hands ached to touch them as tension zinged through my shoulders. “Jesus Christ.”
My throat tightened, and I covered my chest with my forearms to wrap my hands around my neck. Nothing eased the strain, and Mateo rolled his shoulders and arched to hold himself tall and imposing.
His dog still sat at my feet, making sure everyone knew he was there as he bristled and growled, and no one else made a move against Mateo. Meredith shuffled to her feet, clutching her face, and I refused to meet her gaze as I trained mine on the floor. My dress wasn’t totally destroyed— the long, swaying, delicate lace had been spared, so it looked like a white sundress, almost. At least I can walk regular strides, not heel to toe.
“Come on, Lucy.” Grabbing my hand, Mateo jabbed the elevator button with his thumb before lifting his fingers to his lips and letting out a loud, shrill whistle. The all black dog stood up and wagged his tail stump, a huge, pittie smile stretching his lips, and another gray-black dog came barreling through the crowd. The smaller of the two had Marshal’s top-hat on his nose, holding his mouth shut, and I blubbered a laugh as I reached to grab it.
I didn’t want to make too loud a noise, though, and shatter this beautiful, wonderful dream, to return to the nightmare that was my life. Then again, it was my fault. I could’ve stood up for myself, but I never did. I didn’t want drama, so I settled on desolation.
“Marshal, come on, boy.” The elevator doors slid open behind me, and Marshal trotted his way over, his tail wagging even though he held his head low. When we were alone, crowded in the elevator, I let go of Mateo’s hand to rub my eyes, and a heavy, exhausted sigh burst from my dry mouth. “Did that just happen?”
“That was exactly how I fantasized it would happen.” He smiled at me, and I smiled at him, and for a brief second, everything was perfect. “You said you were going to break up with him. What the hell happened?”
“My mom just yells and comments and grinds me down. When I broke up with Seth nine months ago, he was cool with it. I even gave him the ring back for a while. But his mom found out, and he’s truly a mommy’s boy, and my mom was making my life horrible. It lasted two weeks before we just gave up, and then my mom planned the wedding, and his mom picked out this dress without me even there. We were going to take pictures. I need to tell Seth there’s not gonna be a wedding.” Mateo’s smile widened and flames licked up my neck as we traveled up to the third floor of the modest hotel. “I missed you, Mateo. It took me a while to understand, to really understand, but . . . I missed you.”
“I was considering killing myself again. Even with the dogs, it wasn’t getting better.” My smile strained, and I rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. It was like no time at all had passed, and I nuzzled his bare skin, taut and hard and toned against my cheek. “Is that your best friend, the one in the green dress?”
“Mikayla, yeah. Why?” The elevator clamored to a stop and I turned to Mateo as he frowned.
“She recognized me. What did you tell her about how we met?” Rolling my lips between my teeth, embarrassment sloshed against my ribs, and Mateo arched a brow quizzically. “I’m not upset or anything, but she recognized my back.”
Stepping off the elevator, I ducked my head in a nod, and Mateo pressed his palm against the small of my back. We were on the same floor, apparently, but I hadn’t seen him in the two days I’d been here. Now that I thought about it, I had heard his dogs bark every once and a while.
“Lucy, what happened to your dress?” Seth’s best friend, Roger, raced up the hallway, and he scanned me through narrowed eyes. “Not that it doesn’t look better, I think, but what happened downstairs? Meredith’s texting us you got assaulted—”
“I wasn’t assaulted. Roger is Seth’s best friend. Roger, this is Mateo.” They barely looked at each other, and I inhaled an easy, full breath as I licked my lips in preparation. “You can tell Seth he’s off the hook, okay? I’m not marrying him.”
“Oh, thank God. He’s been drinking since he woke up. I was gonna come tell you it was off before I got all the texts from his mom.” Roger touched my arm in either gratefulness or relief, and he rocked back to stuff his hands in his pockets. “Shit, girl, at least we’re in Hawaii, right? I swear, his mom purposefully made you ugly. How fucked up. I told Seth he needs to man up and stick it to Meredith. I’ve been telling him that for almost ten years. Hopefully, he’ll realize she’s gonna control his life forever.”
“Okay. Mateo punched Meredith in the face when she spit on me, but she’ll probably fudge the story, so I wanted you to hear it from me first. Also . . . ” Trailing off as Roger tensed, his eyes boggled with anger, I pursed my lips thinly before continuing. “Tell Seth I didn’t cheat on him . . . not physically, at least.”
15
Mateo
“You’ve bee
n having nightmares, and that’s how she found out.” Holding Lucy’s hands as we sat across from each other on the floor, I frowned at the guilty, sheepish expression that drowned her delicate, clean features. “Okay. It’s not like you signed an NDA, and even if you did, it probably wouldn’t cover sleep talking.”
“So, when did you get your dogs? Why’d you name them Sriracha and Ketchup?” Changing the subject none-too-subtly, Lucy glanced over at the dogs lounging on the sofa. “Ketchup and Marshal like each other, at least.”
“Sriracha doesn’t even like Ketchup most of the time, so I named them that because I couldn’t think of anything else at the time. I flew to Reno to meet a guy who breeds pit bulls, and then I drove to California and hung out there for about six months while I trained them and all that. Ketchup’s a great cuddler, and Sriracha will attack on command. It’s honestly pretty nice.” Rubbing the backs of her smooth hands with my thumbs, I tilted my head at her suggestively. “What about you? How’s your garden?”
“Uh, it’s more an oasis now than a garden, I guess. I redid my front yard completely, and I put an oasis in my backyard. I even got some fish. My garden takes up three-quarters of my backyard now, not my whole backyard.” That spark lit in her eye, and Lucy leaned in as her smile puffed out her cheeks. “There’s a hammock, too.”
“Yeah?” Untangling our fingers, I reached to run them through her hair, the strands sticky and stuff with hair spray. Lucy’s smile dulled, and she tilted her head into my palms and scooted a little closer. She reeked of hair spray and perfume, and I had only just noticed it. The silence stretched into peace, just beautiful, lasting, relieving peace, and the air sparkled with flakes of dried hairspray to sparkle ethereally.
“You always hear horror stories of people whose weddings get hijacked by their parents, but I don’t know what happened. I just gave up rather than listen to it. Seth’s mom insisted on paying for everything, but then she would say all the time that she had a say because she was paying for it. And my mom would just make decisions without me even knowing, and then tell me about it, and that it’d already been decided, so fighting was just useless. I didn’t even know that this was a destination wedding until about three weeks ago when my mom mentioned it in passing and then told me I’d been the one to bring it up. I swear, she was gaslighting me.” Lucy’s voice tainted with self-depreciation, and I scratched her scalp soothingly as she ducked her head. “No one knows about the money, at least. I haven’t worked since I got back, and everyone thinks Micky is supporting me. She kinda moved in with me, and a couple weeks turned into nine months.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t have a mom, so you don’t have to worry, Lucy. Let me wash your hair- come on.” Pushing myself to my feet, I held out my hands for her, and Lucy tinged pink as she stood. The room I’d rented was three rooms, a sitting area, a bathroom, and a bedroom, and it was a good price for the comfort.
“How did you know about the dress? That it was cheap? And my makeup?” Flicking on the bathroom light, I tensed when soft, smooth fingers crept up my back, and Lucy pressed her forehead against me to sniffle. My skin twitched and tightened against her palms, and I clenched my jaw as the second’s ticked by. Slowly kicking off my wet suit, I hiked up my boxers before turning to her, and the choking stench of hairspray coated my tongue and throat.
I didn’t open my mouth, mostly because I didn’t want to break this moment, and Lucy’s big, blue eyes glazed over as I reached to pull down what was left of her dress. There was nothing holding it together, so it just flailed to pool around her feet, and I cupped her cheeks with both my palms to rub under her eyes.
“I know good fabric when I feel it. I used to care about that kind of thing. And the makeup . . . any makeup cheapens you, Lucy.” She blushed furiously under the streams where her makeup had washed away, and my heart squeezed painfully. “Let’s get this crap out of your hair.”
The bathtub had a shower head attached to it, which was convenient, and I helped Lucy inside before turning on the faucet. Hyper-focused on her face, I didn’t see any part of her below her collar bone- she was so damn beautiful that it took my breath away. After months and months of a downward spiral, I finally had her so close, and I wasn’t going to let any details slip away.
“Our moms are the ones who wanted this wedding. Everyone else came to party, and it’s not exactly a secret . . . the situation.” Her murmur was a caress on my brain, and Lucy leaned back as I grabbed the shower head with my free hand. “I know why you pushed me away. Mateo . . . ”
My lips thinned as sourness stuck my tongue to the roof of my mouth, and I worked to drench Lucy’s hair, but even then, it was so damn sticky and stiff that it barely moved. The ugly, disproportioned rock on her finger glinted, taunting me, but I couldn’t exactly take it off with my hands full. She was quiet, everything was quiet, and I softly started to hum one of my favorite songs as I worked her scalp.
Getting all that gunk out of Lucy’s hair was a mammoth task, but this was more than that. She basked in my touch, and my humming grew louder until it turned into a mumble. My shampoo was scentless, thankfully, and I soaped up her hair as she held herself on her elbows. If it was uncomfortable, Lucy’s face didn’t hint at it, and she tilted her head back as I kneaded her scalp gingerly.
“You have a beautiful voice, Mateo.” Slurring heavily as I rinsed her hair, Lucy cracked open her eyes to stare at me upside down. “Keep singing. I like it.”
“Okay.” Well, I couldn’t argue with that logic, and I cleared my throat lightly while I squirted conditioner into my palm. The shower head was held up by one of those stalks that stayed in place, which I was really grateful for in this moment. I needed a shower to wash the ocean off me, but Lucy was more important.
Lucy was the most important.
“Do you like Spanish pop?” Nodding slightly, Lucy closed her eyes again, and I elbowed away the shower head to massage conditioner into her long, golden strands. “Do you know Spanish as a language?”
“Not really. Do you?” Humming an affirmative, I started tugging and twirling her hair around my fingers, and she groaned softly. “That feels good.”
“Good.” There was nothing— nothing to say, to think, to feel. There was just this wholeness. That gaping hole inside me had been filled. The emptiness of the past few months were forgotten. The loneliness, it never crept up on me late at night. “I knew I shouldn’t have pushed you away, but what if it was a fluke? What if we only cared about each other because we were locked in a room for a week, and I had to protect you, and you had to watch me get tortured? But it only got worse, Lucy. I got so bad. I told myself if I ever saw you again under a normal circumstance, I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. You know, I came here because I thought I should once in my life. That’s kinda the direction my life has been going, just doing all the standard stuff, and when there was nothing left.”
“Mateo.” I ran my fingers through Lucy’s blonde hair, dark from the water, and the smoothness and ease sent shocks up my arm. My chest throbbed, and I inhaled sharply to bluster a shaky, unstable sigh.
“I knew when it was happening that it was a mistake, but I had to know for sure that it wasn’t the circumstances that drew us together. Seeing you downstairs, I was so fucking mad. There was no way that wasn’t deliberate. Who the fuck makes someone look like that on their wedding day? And everyone laughed at you when it was so obvious how upset you were. And that bitch!” Hissing through clenched teeth as my anger swamped my veins with renewed heat, I breathed fire through my nose. “That bitch spit on you. I’d fucking kill her if I could still get away with it.”
“That was pretty bad, even for her, yeah. But you know what, Mateo? She paid for this trip, so . . . Seth and I didn’t plan a honeymoon, even though my mom tried. He has classes and court, so he convinced her to let it go.” Lucy smiled slightly, a true humor tilting her thick lips, and blood drummed in my ears for a few furious beats of my heart. “You punched her real good, thou
gh. That was really sweet.”
“You’re really sweet.” I downright grinned when Lucy huffed a laugh, and I turned off the water to gingerly ring out her elbow-length locks. “I need to wash off my time surfing, but my suitcase is under the bed. You can put something on.”
“I’m in just my panties, and you don’t even care?” Surprise lilted her tone as I stood up, and Lucy sat straight as I gazed down at her. Even now, with her nakedness pointed out, all I saw was her face as it washed in confusion. “Why would I put clothes on?”
“Lucy, please. There’s absolutely zero chance of me getting it up right now. I do care— I’m just too tired to do anything about it. Besides . . . ” Her eyes widened, and I reached to cup her chin and brush away a stray droplet of water. “Just looking at your face is enough for me right now.”
16
Lucy
Gazing at Mateo’s peaceful expression, I smoothed the crease between his brows with my thumb, but he was out cold. A bomb could go off, and he wouldn’t wake up; when he said he was tired, he meant spiritually, in his soul, he was tired. Caressing the sharp line of his jaw, I ruffled his light scuff, and all the chaos beyond this hotel room didn’t exist.
Every so often, there was some yelling and some stomping, but no one knew I was in here because, obviously, this was Mateo’s room. I traced the lines of his face, down his nose and around his eyes, with trembling fingers, and I took deep breaths of his smell to imbed it in my lungs. His t-shirt was so soft on my skin, and the thick hairs on his legs tickled mine.
It was so nice . . . so peaceful.
I understood. Mateo didn’t have to explain, but I understood how he could think what he did and why he chose to do what he had. Now, everything was so crystal clear. I was so glad I’d come to Hawaii, because we wouldn’t ever have just bumped into each other in Tennessee. It was a pipe dream that got flushed down the toilet before I’d even brought it up at the hospital. He would’ve never set foot in Tennessee, let alone Jackson, let alone showed up on my doorstep.