That’s it, Booker whispered.
That was why I felt so adrift on pack lands though Sascha and I were closer than ever.
I couldn’t see a future where we were together and happy.
6
I parked Ella F, more than ready for bed.
Lisa let me run the roulette table for most of tonight. I was confident to continue alone next week.
I shut my car door quietly, aware of the hundreds of slumbering Luthers. In heels, I wobbled over the packed dirt toward Sascha’s bungalow.
He was working late—or so he said—so we’d driven separately today.
Light streamed from a bungalow ahead. A smiling woman stepped out, and I stopped short as a second smiling woman joined her, delivering a sweet kiss.
Oh, shit!
“Cam?” I called out.
Both of the women jumped.
Well, this explained rather a lot.
I approached the pair. “Hey.”
Cam was always in the pale camp, but she was really pale now. “I’m sleeping with a Luther. It’s okay.”
Did she rehearse that?
I slanted a glance at her companion. I vaguely recalled the wolf’s face. Emily, perhaps?
“Just okay?” I asked my friend in confiding tones.
Cam stared at me for a beat. “Good enough to come back?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
“… Statement.”
“Might as well keep it going then. Night.” Winking, I wobbled onward to Sascha’s abode.
I shoved inside and kicked off my heels. Sweet bliss.
Bed. Me.
Soon.
Shower. Smelly.
Knock, knock.
I hobbled back to the front door.
Cam lurked on the other side.
“Done already?” I joked.
She flashed a small smile. “Look, I wanted to thank you.”
There was so much wrong in that. “You aren’t hurting anyone, Cam. I assume Emily isn’t hurting anyone. You being together doesn’t hurt anyone. Don’t thank me for taking your relationship well. Anyone who takes it otherwise is a small-minded bitchhole.”
She tucked away a tremulous smile. “I know. It’s just… the tribe.”
I understood the social pressures better than most. “You’ve worried about this for a long time, huh?”
“A while. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”
Secrets were odd things. They got harder to divulge as the days rolled over. “I’m just glad to know everything is okay. We were worried about you.”
She hesitated. “Do you think I should tell Wade?”
“Up to you. If it makes you feel better—I’m a werewolf, and Wade tried to get me drunk the other day. I don’t think he’s a small-minded bitchhole.”
Cameron laughed.
I grimaced. “He doesn’t like being out of the know though. Fair warning. At worst, he’ll want a King Wade Day.”
Cam tilted her head. “Hey, is that why you threw him a King Wade Day? He found out you were a werewolf?”
“Yep.”
She grinned in the dark, then frowned. “What’s it like to be a Luther?”
“Like feeling more alive and more in tune with people and the land.”
She hummed.
I gave in to a question that had plagued me since the Stabattse. “What’s everyone saying about me, Cam?”
“Rhona or the tribe?”
“Both.”
Cam grimaced. “Rhona is pretty worked up.”
“Tell me. I can handle it.”
“It’s not a matter of you handling it. It’s a matter of what a person shouldn’t have to handle.”
That was a quaint thought. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll wonder what they’re saying. Truly, you won’t break me.”
“Nothing could break you,” she said fiercely.
Is that what she believed? I was held together with sticky tape.
Cameron blew out a breath. “Rhona considers you as dead. The moment you became a Luther, you were gone.”
Nothing the fisherwolf hadn’t already told me. “Alright. And the tribe?”
“If I had to guess, people don’t know what to feel. Obviously, no one expected you to shift into a werewolf. There’s shock and anger—an undercurrent of pity. Most knew you, and when you consider someone to be like you, it becomes hard to see them as an enemy. Take it from a lesbian living in a small town.”
That news surprised me a lot.
I’d expected the tribe to make piñatas of my face and fill them with fun-sized bottles of wolfsbane.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she continued. “The people who were anti-you before are really anti-you now, but don’t assume everyone hates you. You were bitten against your will. That means something to most stewards.”
Tears sparked in my eyes. “Thanks, Cam.”
“Don’t thank me for taking it well,” she quipped.
“Are you throwing my wisdom in my face?”
“Yes.”
I jerked my head. “Get out of here. You need a shower.”
She bounded forward and hugged me.
“And now I smell like what you two did. So I’m going to take a shower.”
Did you get that? I asked Booker.
Yep.
The tribe wasn’t set against me.
Does that change things? she asked.
I didn’t know yet.
But it might.
I was dragged sideways along the warm mattress and tucked against a firm chest.
Peace settled over me once more, accompanied by a slow fire building low in my stomach. I pressed my ass against the presence behind me.
A hand clamped down on my hip, arresting my movement.
I growled in warning.
The fire built. I twisted, winding my hands around Sascha’s neck to better inhale his delicious scent.
He swore and rolled onto his back.
I crawled on top of him and collapsed in a heap. He was so toasty. Felt good. Stretching so the length of my body aligned with his, I circled my hips.
That felt even better.
Sascha hardened against my stomach.
“Use a condom,” I mumbled.
“What?”
I jerked awake, lifting my head.
We looked at each other.
Sascha frowned. “Who were you thinking about?”
My cheeks coloured. I’d been telling him to use a condom. That was almost worse than whatever possessive conclusion he’d come to.
He held me in place and his erection pressed on my core. I bit back a groan.
I avoided his gaze. “I thought you were you.”
“You did?”
I fidgeted, and we both stiffened.
His hands swept my sides. “Tell me what you need, beautiful wolf.”
My flush deepened. I wasn’t doing anything surrounded by pack members. “I need to eat.”
Dislodging his hold, I crossed to my bags, still scattered over the floor, and selected some jean shorts and a mustard off-the-shoulder blouse that cost me two dollars at a second-hand store. Seriously, people chucked away the best stuff.
“Does the pack’s proximity bother you?”
“It doesn’t bother you?”
“Everything leading up to and including sex is natural. We don’t actively listen to each other’s lives, but if someone did, they wouldn’t think anything of us pleasing each other.”
His mum might be listening.
That weirded me out.
I escaped to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and hair. That would do.
“I thought we could spend time together today.” Sascha threw off the top blanket.
I blinked at his naked body. He usually wore sweats to bed.
No wonder sleep Andie got a little wild this morning.
Warn a girl.
His stomach tensed with his movement as he walked toward me.
Oh, boy.
&
nbsp; Ducking his head, he laid a gentle kiss on my lips. “You look beautiful this morning, mate.”
My heart skipped a beat with his. “Thanks, handsome. I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“Sure. About later. I have a meeting. But we can catch up after? There are some beautiful spots in our territory I’d like to show you.”
That sounded a lot like a date. We’d never really done that. “Uh. Sure, okay.”
He arched a brow.
You are not blushing, Andie.
Yes, you are, Booker stated, snickering after.
I hurried away from an amused Sascha to the pack house. The scent of eggs and bacon wafted out accompanied by the cheerful conversation and laughter of pack members. Things were always busier on Sundays with no one at work.
Get bacon in our mouth, Booker demanded.
I’m going. I’m going.
The sight of a teen girl sneaking around the bungalow stopped me short. Curious, I changed directions and snuck after her, peeking around the corner.
She lingered at the back door to the kitchen, clearly listening to the movement inside. Bacon grease shone on her fingers, and I smirked.
The guts wanted more food.
I scanned the surroundings and clicked my tongue.
The teen whirled, and I beckoned her.
Scowling, she approached.
I lowered my voice to a level human ears wouldn’t hear. Luthers wouldn’t catch the words over the sounds in the kitchen. “You want seconds?”
“What’s it to you?”
“Nothing to me. If you want to pull it off without being caught, you could consider that there’s no cover between here and the forest. Where are you planning to run after? And how will you explain your scent in the kitchen?”
The girl planted her hands on her hips. “I don’t have to do what you say. You’re from that tribe.”
Not my number one fan. Or her parents weren’t. “I haven’t told you to do anything. They’re just things to consider if you really want the food.”
Should I teach kids how to steal stuff…?
Oh, well. “There’s one thing that eliminates your scent for a few minutes.”
Her eyes shone. “Water.”
“I wonder if hiding in plain sight could be helpful too.” I tilted my head to the front of the pack house.
She smirked.
I winked at the teen. “Have a good morning.”
Sascha intercepted me at the bottom of the stairs. Humming to himself, he took my hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Was he really so unconcerned?
Did he not look ahead and see us torn apart no matter who won Grids?
I shook off my worry, determined not to ruin the day. Instead, I observed the pack members outside the bungalow. Those farthest from the top table lounged around, enjoying the sun like they could stay there all day. Those Luthers just inside the door darted nervous looks at Sascha and I as we passed.
I had the order.
Alphas, betas, deltas, omegas, and gammas. No way would I have put Grim below Lisa in the pecking order. Just because he was bigger.
“Will you sit with the females today or with me?” Sascha paused by the alpha women.
“Women,” I answered.
He brushed a kiss on the back of my hand and left me to my devices. Eyes were on us.
Ugh.
I loaded a plate and sat in my normal spot at the front. Evelyn smiled, but the other alphas ignored me, and I returned the favour.
“Axel!”
The muddy pup raced through the entrance, chased by a frazzled Jemma.
The pup stopped right in front of me.
“Are you being good for your mother?” I said sternly.
He whined.
That was a whopping no.
“She loves you very much. We should try to make our mothers happy if we can.”
The pup rested a filthy paw on my knee and cocked his head.
Jemma panted. “Sorry, Andie. He’s been at the stream.”
“That’s okay. What are you trying to tell me, Axel?”
The pup shimmied back and sank to his belly, worming closer where he bounded up and rested a paw on my knee again, whining.
“You want to see the saxophone?”
He barked.
“I can show it to you, but you’ll need to wait very patiently while I finish breakfast. Can you do that, big pup?”
Axel planted his dirty butt on the ground and puffed his chest out.
I pressed my lips together and looked up at Jemma. “I can watch him for a while if you like.”
She hesitated. “Are you sure?”
I’d noticed that the women in the pack worked together, helping each other with daily tasks and looking out for the younger members. This was one more step toward adjustment. “Absolutely. I’ll keep him safe.”
Jemma curtsied. “I have no fears on that count. Please bring him back if he’s too much trouble.”
The pup hadn’t budged an inch.
“I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
I raised a piece of bacon to my mouth, watching as Axel’s blue eyes followed the action. Considering his gut rested on the floor, I assumed the pup had eaten well.
Making quick work of my food, I fed the little Luther my last piece of bacon. He was just too cute to resist. “Alright. Let’s go.”
The pup fell into step behind me, and I couldn’t blame the other pack members for watching him pass. I was already half-obsessed with Axel too.
I grabbed my saxophone from the bungalow, and we walked to the bench by the stream.
Opening the case, I let the pup study the instrument.
He looked at me expectantly.
“What? This is the saxophone.”
I inhaled his sunshine scent. It was muted. The pup was disappointed. Shoving back my misgivings, I rested my hands on the saxophone and freed it from the case. “I’ll show you the parts. This is the bell.”
The brass was cold.
I worked around the instrument, showing Axel how the keys moved and explaining how it made a sound.
Shuffling forward, he sniffed the brass.
“Do you like music?” I placed the saxophone in the case.
He nodded.
“What music?”
Axel refused to shift back to two-legged form. To me, it made sense to frustrate him. There were things a Luther simply couldn’t do as a wolf. One of them, barring mated couples, was talking to anyone with two legs.
The pup stared at me.
I frowned. “I wish I could hear you. Your mother said that you like The Wiggles. Which song is your favourite?”
He stared again.
“Sorry. I can’t understand you.” I gestured to the instrument. “Is that all you wanted to see?”
When the pup didn’t answer, I shut the lid.
He whined.
“I’m not sure what you’re saying. Could you tell me another way?”
Axel rested a paw on the case.
“You want to see the instrument again?”
A shake of the head.
“Then let’s put this away and play a game. How about that?”
A deep voice interrupted us. “May I sit?”
I looked up into familiar brown eyes. The old fisherwolf.
I moved the saxophone case off the bench.
“Go play, pup. Stay in sight.” The order in the man’s voice was obvious.
Axel wasted no time waddling off into the long grass.
I kept half an ear out. He was the master of disappearing acts… though I somehow expected that he wouldn’t dare disobey this man.
“How are you, young wolf?”
“Shouldn’t you be at the pack meeting?”
He opened his tackle box and selected a hook. “Old wolves sometimes get bored of such things.”
No scent today either. “Why don’t you have a smell?”
“Old wolves get bored of that too.”
&nb
sp; Luther power must become stronger over time. Either that or their understanding of their power deepened.
“Always such a busy mind,” he murmured.
Axel launched after a butterfly.
“I’m used to having a lot to think about,” I murmured.
“Indeed. Even now?”
“Always such a busy mind,” I repeated his words.
This directionless feeling made matters worse. Existing like this felt increasingly wrong.
Which was terrifying.
The wolf cast his line. “They’ve decided on Timber.”
“You can hear through the frequency generators?” I raised my voice. “Axel. Closer, please.”
The pup paused on the edge of the stream before trotting back in our direction.
“Your sister is overly fond of violent measures,” the fisherwolf said.
“She harbours a lot of hate.”
“That’s not harbouring. That’s sending her hate out to wage war.”
He didn’t know her.
If the right person could reach Rhona, she could come back from all this. I’d thought that person was me, but I fucked it all up.
“Never let it be said that you aren’t loyal.” The man smiled to himself. “She drugged and humiliated you. What on earth could hold you to such a person?”
Rhona was a version of myself. She represented what I could become if I let grief and anger consume me.
If she could recover, then so could I.
“Old wolves have a lot to say on Sunday mornings.” I picked up the saxophone case.
He twitched the line. “Not at all. I was simply going to remark that your sister’s violent approach is dangerous for the tribe. She unleashed a smaller version of her father’s trick in Sandstone.”
“A landslide?”
He dipped his head. “We’d prepared for it. And of course, we used the strategy I informed you about.”
Rhona would have an equally violent plan in store for Timber. The risk of losing points to serious injury was huge. She couldn’t win that way, and who in their right mind would want to win that way?
But the head team knew that risk just as well as me. They’d advise her.
I could definitely stay out of this one.
The less I involved myself, the better Sascha and I would be.
“The pack strategy for Timber is inspired.” The fisherwolf recast.
“Axel,” I called again. The pup paused at the stream’s edge again and doubled back.
Little stinker.
Wolf Roulette: Supernatural Battle Page 6