The sparring exercises in the morning expanded to include the rest of the troupe, Helen joking she needed to brush up on her hand-to-hand combat anyway. Lucy turned out to be quite capable of taking care of herself, rolling Mark into the dust more often than not. She hadn’t had nightmares since hearing about her father’s death—although she had her silent, melancholy moments where she stood away from the others, arms wrapped around herself as she stared into the distance.
It was understandable. Brenna wanted to go to her, give her the support offered earlier, but Erik had suggested she wait and let Lucy come to her if she needed sympathy.
“Take it from me—you can’t force someone to open up to you,” he said as he scraped the dishes clean one night. “She’ll do what works for her. Been working so far.”
Brenna couldn’t disagree with his advice. So far, the women had kept their tight bond, extending to the sparring practices where they laughed and shouted as they stood together to take the men down during their mock battles. The three-on-three fights were invigorating, pushing each of them to their limits with the intense workout.
It was a welcome change, and they all seemed to enjoy the exercise, a good way to work out the energy stored up by the long hours driving.
But under it all lay the anticipation of another confrontation with Kara. And no matter how much they trained and worked together, she knew this fight wasn’t going to be won with brute force.
Her relationship with Erik had changed as well, evolved into something closer, something…deeper.
Once or twice they’d gone into the woods for some “private time,” as Helen referred to it, usually with a wide smile. Stolen kisses, hand holding, and snuggling in the van during the long drives had become the norm. He didn’t press her for more, at least not yet.
But she wanted more—when the time was right. So they went on, watching for signs Kara was on their trail again and enjoying each other’s company.
On this particular day, they’d done a lunch presentation at the local high school, Jake and Lucy doing the talks. After the short reception, they’d piled back into the van and headed for the nearby site, right on schedule.
Mark had dozed through the drive, having woken up only when his phone had rung—not far from the turnoff for the campground. He’d read the message and let out a grunt before stuffing it back in his pocket. Other than not responding to the text, he’d taken on the usual chores of setting up the camp.
After dinner, he began tapping on his phone as he moved away again, to the opposite side of the clearing.
“We’ve got invites all the way through Illinois then into Ohio. Columbus, a handful of schools in Pennsylvania, Penn State, and then Philadelphia,” Jake announced as he finished his bowl of chili. “Gonna make a difference.”
“Maybe,” Mark said, breaking into the conversation. He shook his head as he stuffed his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. “Maybe not. I don’t know if any of this matters anymore. “
The anger in his voice caught them off-guard. Helen’s mouth fell open as Lucy stared down into her bowl. Brenna frowned but said nothing, glancing across to Erik for any hint of how to respond.
Jake pressed his lips into a tight line before giving a shake of his head. “Things change, and they’ll change again,” he said. “Just got to be around long enough to see it come ’round.”
Mark shook his head, the ever-present cigarette behind his right ear in danger of falling. “Don’t make sense why we’re doing this. No one cares about us; no one needs to hear our sad-sack stories.” He stood and plucked the cigarette out. “We’re all losers not worth loving.”
He stomped off into the darkness.
Erik looked over at Jake, raising an eyebrow in question.
Jake shrugged.
Erik rose from the canvas chair, dusting off his jeans. The other women observed him in silence.
Brenna gave him a curious look but stayed quiet and watched him follow Mark’s trail around the parked van.
…
Mark was leaning on the van’s sliding door, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he stuffed the half-empty pack into his pockets. He pulled out the lighter and fumbled with it, his thumb sliding off the igniter with little effect.
“Here.” Erik took it from the man’s shaking hands and brought the flame to life, cupping it with his hands. “What’s up?”
Mark took a deep drag on the cigarette, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils. He closed his eyes and let out a long, drawn-out sigh.
Erik waited. Some things you couldn’t rush, and some you didn’t want to.
“Got a note from my wife. First one in about a week.” He snorted. “I guess she’s my ex-wife now. After five years, five goddamn years, she’s decided she’s done with the marriage. Filed the papers today.”
Erik winced inside, familiar with the words. He’d heard them before from men and women under his command. It didn’t make it any easier to hear.
Mark pulled the cigarette from his mouth and held it up, studying the bright orange embers. He gave a puff, the sharp breath adding fuel to the fire. Some of the ashes fell to the ground where he carefully and slowly squashed them under the heel of his shoe, making sure they were fully extinguished. “When I first came back, I started drinking. Not blind, knock-out drunk, but too much. Decided to do this trip, give us breathing space. Now she’s decided to make it permanent.” He shook his head. “Been hard lately. Tempted to climb back into the bottle and stay there.” He gave Erik a sheepish smile. “You helped keep me busy and sober. Can’t spar if I’m hungover.”
Erik nodded, letting the silence do the talking.
Mark dropped the half-smoked cig into the dirt and ground it under his heel. “Good thing you got Brenna. She understands this crap, even if she’s got her own issues. Woman like that, she knows where you’re coming from. Makes it easier to cross the distance.”
Erik shook his head. “I’m not with her. I mean, I’m with her but not with her.” He stumbled over the words, his inner voice berating him for sounding like a lovesick teenager.
He gave him the side eye. “Look, my marriage might be crap, but I’m not blind to the obvious. Life’s too damned short to screw around, and if this crazy broad is coming after you? Grab onto what you got with both hands, ’cause tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.” He poked Erik in the shoulder. “Understand?”
He walked off into the darkness without waiting for an answer.
…
Brenna finished off her chili, washing it down with a last sip of her cooling coffee. Lucy glanced up as Mark came back into sight.
“You okay?” Lucy said quietly. “Poured a fresh cup of coffee for you.”
He gave her a friendly smile. “Always got my back.”
“Well, yeah,” she replied with a sheepish grin. “That’s what friends are for.”
“Thanks. Be back in a few minutes. I’ll help clean up.” He jerked a thumb at the dirt road leading to the campground washrooms. His attention turned to Jake. “I’m sorry for what I said before. Got some bad news and…”
Jake waved him off. “Son, you got nothing to apologize for. We all have our bad days. Just glad you’re holding it together.” He drained the last of his coffee. “We got each other, and that’s what’s going to get us through this and everything else on this trip.”
While Brenna digested the words, she realized Erik was nowhere in sight. She knew where he’d gone, but Mark’s return meant he was around the corner alone.
Brenna nodded to Helen and rose, putting her dishes with the others on the picnic table. She puttered around the campsite for a few minutes, tidying up and wondering if she should pursue him.
Finally, she walked behind the van, finding Erik there. He was leaning against the vehicle, arms crossed as he stared at the ground.
“Mark…”
“Mark’s all right. Just dealing with some personal issues.” He grunted. “His wife decided to leave him. Sent a text in place of a p
hone call. Doesn’t get rougher than that.”
She shook her head. “That’s not right. She should be standing by him no matter what. They swore vows to each other.”
“Vows are more complicated than that. They can’t fix everything.” Erik scratched the back of his head, searching for the right words. “Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay together. A couple can grow apart instead of getting closer over time. They don’t understand their partner like they did when they were younger.”
“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.” She eyed him. “Did that happen to you?”
“No. I guess I’m lucky.” He shrugged. “I had girlfriends when I was younger but nothing serious after entering the service. Didn’t feel I could devote the time needed to keep a relationship going, not with me going from base to base. From what Mark said, they moved away from each other emotionally over time, and she just gave up on it. Seen this happen over long deployments. No harm, no foul but time to call it quits and move on.”
“It’s still wrong. When you pledge your heart to someone, there’s no timetable.” She glanced upward. “The warriors in Valhalla keep their vows. If they’re married, they either wait for their spouses to arrive or they stay chaste. They don’t take on lovers; they don’t break their promises no matter how frustrating it might be. They stay faithful.”
“What if they’re single? Can’t imagine all those men and women staying chaste until Ragnarok.”
Her cheeks burned, betraying her. “Some of them find more…short-term relationships.”
“Valhalla orgies?” He let out a low whistle, lips twisting into a smirk. “Can’t imagine how that party would look.”
“Intense. Very…intense.” She cleared her throat. “But those who have taken vows to another find other ways to occupy their time.”
“Good to hear love survives beyond death for some people.” He looked at her, a soft smile sliding under her armor. “Sort of gives you faith.”
She smiled back, a warmth spreading through her body as she moved to be next to him, leaning against the van. “I guess so.” She turned her face toward the stars. “It sounds crazy, but when a husband or wife arrives in Valhalla, the reunions are…” She sighed, the deep emotion in the single breath grabbing Erik’s heart and squeezing it tight. “Beautiful doesn’t cover it.”
“Even if they’re not both military?” Erik asked. “I thought you said Valhalla was only for those who served?”
“Not all warriors wear uniforms.”
The soft whisper hung in the air between them, covering them in silence for a few moments.
Brenna cleared her throat, breaking the detente. “Every night I pray to Freyja, asking her to give me some idea of what path she wants me to take. I’ve gotten no response. No indication of what she desires from me.”
“I won’t let anything happen to you.” He pushed off the van door and moved to face her. “I promise.”
She couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Considering our positions have reversed, I find that sort of funny.”
“Yeah, well…” He reached up and stroked her cheek. “Our situation is rather unique. I have a vested interest in keeping you alive and well.” His touch soothed her skin, the warmth traveling straight to her insides. “A year ago, I almost died. You’re the woman who kept me alive.”
She frowned, confusion clouding her senses. “What?”
He placed his palm against the metal, not far from her shoulder. “When I was in recovery, all I could think about was the ones I’d left behind, the ones you’d taken away into the sky. Scotty, April—the others.”
Her throat closed up at the pain in his voice.
He pressed his hand against his heart. “It burned. All the way through my physical therapy, all the way through the psych sessions, all the babbling about survivor’s guilt—why not me? It was killing me, eating me inside. Didn’t know what I wanted to do when I got my release papers, if anything. Lost my command, lost my friends. Let them all down.”
An invisible hand tightened around her heart.
“There was a guy on my ward, a big fan of the bare-knuckle fighting. Watched it online all the time, showed me the videos. I did a little research and called a few numbers—found a manager who wanted to see what I could do. As soon as I got out of the hospital, I went to him, got on an undercard.” He studied the back of one hand. “Put my man down in the first round. After that, well…”
She flashed back to her initial search, her inner compass swirling around as he moved from town to town, without direction.
“It was a way to step out of myself for a few minutes, to do what I do best—fight. I had nothing else I was good at, nothing else I could do without thinking about Scotty and the rest of the men and women I’d lost. When I got in the cage, I didn’t have to think about whether I was worthy or not. All I had to do was fight and win.”
Brenna bit her lip, unable to find the right words.
“I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing—but every night when I closed my eyes, I saw your face, felt your lips on mine. It gave me the strength to go on for one more day, even if I knew it was a dream, a hallucination. Then you were standing on the other side of that fence when I was in the cage and the world changed.”
He moved in, their noses almost touching. His voice dropped to a low, sexy whisper.
“Now that I’ve found you, I’m never going to let you go. Even if it means taking on Kara, Odin, and Freyja herself in the bare-knuckles match of all time.”
She was about to reprimand him for speaking their names in such a disrespectful way, but he pressed his lips to hers and she was lost.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Erik had seen plenty of men and women like Mark, losing the ones they loved. While overseas, he’d supported his people, giving them a shoulder to lean on as they tried to imagine a life without a partner. He couldn’t ever fully relate, never having been in love as much as they had been, heart and soul welded to another’s.
Now he did.
The kiss when he had interrupted her sparring had been a spontaneous event, a spark of desire turning into a slow, simmering fire. This one wasn’t going to be like that, or like any of the others they’d shared since that first, fateful meeting.
It was going to be better.
He had waited long enough. Their time together could end at any moment—he couldn’t pass up this chance.
Her arms went around him, fingers clutching at the thin T-shirt as she pulled him close.
Their first kiss had been a chaste brush of lips on the battlefield. The second a hesitant, nervous kiss. The one in the photo booth, those since—nothing compared to this one.
This was a hungry, driving need as her tongue dueled with his, stealing his breath away.
Her hands slid along his back, moving under the shirt to grip his shoulders as her leg moved between his, pressing against his growing arousal. His hips bucked forward, seeking more.
Damn.
The cloud in his mind spread as he grabbed her around the waist, skimming his fingers along the edge of his jeans.
Erik pulled back and stared at her. Her eyes were unfocused, her lips now swollen and wet.
“Ah…” He groaned and shut his eyes as she reached down and pressed a hand against his too-tight jeans, cupping him through the fabric. “I’m not sure how to ask this but are you…”
“A virgin. Yes, I am.” The sultry rumble in her voice had him almost falling over the edge right there, before she’d even touched him. “Is that an issue?”
“No.” He drew in a deep breath, trying to tamp down the pulse pounding in his hears. “I’m sort of sorry I’m not.”
Brenna laughed. “I’d rather one of us know what to do.”
He entwined his fingers in hers, squeezing lightly. “I don’t want to pressure you. We can do other…”
She silenced him with another kiss, a light one. “I’m not going to die before knowing how a woman should be loved.”
>
She curled one hand around the back of his neck. “Kara will find us, and she will kill us. It is a fact, something we can only delay and avoid for so long. You just spoke about me helping you find the strength to survive. I…” She paused and wet her lips. “I kissed you on the battlefield because I wanted to. Something inside me called out, overrode what should have been an automatic reaction—to take you to Valhalla. I gave in to my inner needs, my demands.” A soft breath escaped. “I wanted you.”
He kissed her again, harder this time because he heard the truth in her words.
She drew back, pressing her forehead against his. “When I was sent to kill you, I told myself it’d be difficult, but I needed to do my duty, send you to Valhalla. Except I couldn’t.” She caressed his face. “I’ll be tormented through eternity for not following my orders. I’d rather die knowing you like this than living one day more without you. I’ve waited long enough. We’ve waited long enough.”
Erik took hold of her hands. He turned them outward before kissing each palm. “We can’t. Not here. Not in the middle of a campground. You deserve the softest mattress, a fine meal with expensive wine and all the chocolate you can devour for dessert before we do this.” He locked eyes with her. “You deserve better.”
“Where would we be happier than out under the stars and sky?” She brushed her lips over his left temple. “Wherever I am with you is where I want to be. I say here and now.” Brenna smiled.
The confidence in her voice shot straight to his groin, and he didn’t have the will to fight anymore.
“Right. Let me get things arranged.” Erik pressed her fingertips to his lips, one at a time. “Back in a minute. Stay here.”
She brought him in for another bruising exchange, her hands sliding around the waistband of his jeans. After a few blinding minutes, she pulled back, breathless and flushed.
“I’ll be here.”
He stole another light kiss before stepping back, trying to collect his thoughts.
Right. Don’t look suspicious.
We’re all adults here. No need to make a big fuss. No reason at all.
Her Alpha Viking Page 18