by Lynsey James
My thoughts come to a complete standstill and my jaw drops a little. Whatever I’d been expecting when we’d walked in here, it wasn’t this. My eyes dart around the vast room as I imagine how the old me would’ve occupied the space with elegant movements. I take a glance down at my gym gear-clad form. I’m a million miles away from the graceful ballet dancer I used to be, and he’ll see that right away. It’s been so long I don’t even know if I’ll remember any steps. I feel a pang of guilt as I catch the hopeful smile on his face; he obviously meant well and thought I’d jump at the chance to dance again. And I would, if I had even an ounce of my old confidence back.
My mouth moves, but no words come out as my conflicting thoughts fight for space in my brain. I can’t decide how to feel: upset because Scott has put me in this impossible position or happy because he’s clearly put a lot of thought into this.
‘Look, bad idea.’ Scott’s voice brings me back to the present. His smile has vanished and I can hear regret in his voice. ‘I’m sorry, Cleo; I should’ve thought this through a bit more. If you really don’t want to do it, we can head back to the gym. I just thought this would give you a chance to do what you loved again, that’s all. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.’
I take a deep breath and let myself fully process the idea. Although I’m terrified of letting myself dance again, I can’t deny I’m tempted to try. That all-too-familiar rhythm is beginning to flow through my body again, and I decide to give myself a chance.
What’s the worst that could happen?
An uncertain smile makes its way onto my face and I take a step closer to him.
‘No, Scott, this is really thoughtful. I actually had find a way to dance again on my new bucket list,’ I say, feeling my heart rate quicken. I fix him with a playful grin. ‘I-I’d love to dance. I’ll be taking the lead here, though, so I hope you’re ready for that!’
Scott comes across and takes my hand in his. ‘I’m ready for whatever you have to throw at me. I hope you don’t mind me standing on your feet, though. I’ve got the co-ordination of a drunk walrus!’
I open up Spotify on my phone and scroll through my songs. I come across one that would be perfect for us to dance to and turn back to face him. My excitement has been well and truly piqued.
‘So, I’ve found a song…’ I pause for dramatic effect. ‘It’s a pretty good one and I think it’d be fun for us to dance to, if you fancy doing some Latin?’
Scott takes the phone from me to see which song I’ve chosen. His face lights up and he lets out a booming laugh that echoes round the room.
‘I love this song! Come on, let’s stick it on and get started.’
He passes the phone back to me and I adjust the volume before putting it on one of the huge windowsills. Moments later, the opening bars of “Vivir Mi Vida” by Marc Anthony burst out and fill the room.
‘OK then,’ Scott says, reaching his hands out. ‘I’m all yours. Show me what to do.’
My cheeks burn as I take his hands in mine and begin to move with him. ‘I don’t know how much of this I’ll remember, but we’ll give it a go!’
I try to pull some steps up in my mind that aren’t too difficult and won’t have us tripping over each other.
‘OK, so we’re going to do a basic salsa,’ I say, ‘which means we’re doing counts of eight all the time. Move your left foot forward for me and shift your weight onto your back foot…’ I pause for a second while Scott carries out my instructions. He’s a little clumsy, but I find it cute. ‘OK, now your left foot comes back and we pause, then it’s right foot back and shift the weight onto your front foot. Then your right foot comes back and it’s back to the beginning! If it makes things easier, your foot goes back when mine comes forward.’
That seems to clear things up for Scott and, after a couple of false starts when I have to restart the song, we’re moving pretty well with each other. I can tell he’s not a natural dancer, and it’s pretty funny to watch him count out the beats to himself. As the music begins to course through my veins as it always did, I feel a surge of appreciation towards him.
‘This is nice,’ I say as he steps backwards while I come forwards. ‘I’m really enjoying myself. Your technique isn’t bad either, I’ve got to say!’
‘What can I say,’ he says with a cheeky grin. ‘I’m full of surprises.’
He takes my hand and spins me outwards before yanking my body back towards his. The unexpected sensation, followed by the sudden body contact, shocks me and I’m at a loss for words.
‘Um, that was… impressive!’ I squeak.
Now that Scott’s more familiar with the moves, our bodies move in sync together. His transitions are smoother and he does a couple more spins that thrill and scare me in equal measure. The pleasure I’m getting from dancing is immense; the rhythm is still flowing through me even after so much time away. My ankle nips a little bit, but more through lack of use than any lasting damage from my injury. Eventually, I break away from him and dance a little solo section, wiggling my hips and running my hands over my waist like the pro I used to be.
‘Very nice!’ Scott flashes me an appreciative smile and gives me a round of applause before I come back to hold. ‘You’re really bloody good, Cleo!’
‘Thanks,’ I reply. ‘I’m a bit out of breath, but I’m really enjoying myself.’
My cheeks are hurting from smiling so much. My passion for dance is still as strong as ever, and Scott is an excellent partner. In the sexy Latin beats, I find a little piece of myself. One I thought was gone for ever.
*
By the time my impromptu dance class is finished, I’m totally worn out. When I stop the music, cutting Marc Anthony off mid chorus, I let myself sink onto the hard wooden floor.
‘You, Scott Robinson, are full of surprises,’ I say, barely able to get my words out. ‘This was so much fun; thanks for being a great dance partner.’
Scott slips his hoodie off, giving me a tantalising flash of his toned abs, and sits down next to me. ‘Good, I’m glad you had fun. Just goes to show exercise can be a laugh as well, doesn’t it? I think we should mark today with a really silly-looking selfie. The day Cleo danced again. What do you think?’
‘I totally agree,’ I say with a grin.
Scott whips out his phone and we lean in to each other so we can both get in the shot. We take a couple; in the first one we pull stupid faces, and he takes the second while we’re smiling at each other. It’s an unguarded shot that makes my heart jump when I see it.
‘Send me them both, they’re really good,’ I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. ‘So how was your first taste of salsa dancing?’
‘It was bloody hard work keeping up with you once you got going!’ Scott admits. ‘I can do a whole day of Insanity and Metafit classes, but that was tough going.’
‘It’s not easy if you’re not used to it.’ I pick up my water bottle and take a huge sip. ‘Not that I am any more. Back when I was doing it all the time, I’d be at classes every weeknight and competing at weekends. It took it out of me, but it was like I couldn’t not dance. It was a part of me, and I think it still is. Maybe I’ll look into getting a teaching qualification. I know I said the money was a worry, but I’ll find a way to make it work. We should definitely do some more dancing too. We could be on Strictly by next year!’
‘I’m sure you will,’ he replies with a smile. ‘Maybe we can have a boogie to Michael Jackson in our next session? I do a brilliant moonwalk.’
‘And here was me thinking you were a Jason Donovan kind of guy, Scott Robinson,’ I shoot back, sticking my tongue out. ‘You’re right, you are full of surprises!’
Scott edges closer to me and leans in to whisper something. ‘I’ll have you know I sang ‘Too Many Broken Hearts’ for my school talent show. Don’t knock the J-man!’
I burst out laughing and hit him playfully on my arm. ‘You did not!’
He makes a cross sign on his heart. ‘Cross my heart and hope to di
e. I wasn’t exactly the coolest guy at school, as you can probably tell. I was sporty, but apart from that I was a complete nerd. I loved learning, but I didn’t want people to know that because it wasn’t “cool”.’
I let my head rest against the wall behind me and sigh. ‘It’s quite funny how we were both outcasts in a way, isn’t it? My weight and differences with Amanda made me isolate myself and you had your Jason Donovan obsession. Which song was your favourite, by the way?’
Scott chuckles and taps my arm. His hand falls down and lands on top of mine. ‘Has to be “Especially for You” doesn’t it? You can’t top a classic.’
He squeezes my fingers gently and I feel a rush of excitement wash over me.
‘Come here,’ he says with a lazy smile. ‘You look like you need a hug.’
He opens his arm out and I shuffle closer to him, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist.
‘God, I’m absolutely worn out,’ I murmur. ‘I could sleep for a week, couldn’t you?’
‘I think I could sleep for two weeks, actually.’ Scott lets out a yawn and stretches, before putting his arm round me again. ‘Can I ask you something, Cleo?’
‘Go on then.’ I can hear my words slurring as I get sleepier and give myself a little shake to wake up a bit more. ‘Fire away.’
‘Have you ever fallen for someone, I mean really fallen for them, but couldn’t find the courage to tell them?’
Part of me wonders if he’s talking about me, but I’m too scared to let myself believe this is possible. Scott couldn’t possibly like me, could he?
I nod and sit myself up so I can answer properly. ‘Sort of. I wouldn’t say I fell for this guy exactly, but I definitely liked him a lot. I’d just come back to school after my accident and I developed a full-blown crush on this guy called Adam Hartwell. It was your typical cliché: he was the most popular guy in school, I was the girl who wished he’d noticed her, and I was convinced we’d be perfect together. I used any excuse to talk to him and would go out of my way to watch him play football. He was polite enough, but I knew deep down I wasn’t the type he’d go for. Anyway, our Leavers’ Dance was just round the corner and Adam asked me to go with him, out of the blue. Have you ever seen the movie Never Been Kissed?’
Scott nods. ‘Yeah, I think my sister made me watch it with her once.’
‘Well, it was like that but a billion times worse. Adam picked me up, took me to the dance, and everything seemed fine. Then he got up on stage to do the Leavers’ Speech because he’d apparently been chosen by the whole of our year group to do it. He got to a part where he started talking about me, and he had this spotlight shone down on me while I was on the dance floor. Before I knew what was happening, Amanda was pouring this massive bowl of punch over my head.’
I burst into fits of laughter, which has never happened before when I’ve told this story. Usually, I end up hiding my face in embarrassment.
Scott shakes his head. ‘High school really was a nightmare for you, wasn’t it?’
I nod. ‘Yeah, it was. Everyone always says they wish they could go back and relive those days because they were so much fun. I’ll tell you something, if Doc Brown burst in here right now with his DeLorean and offered to take me back to my high-school days, I’d tell him to ram it. Anyway, what about you? Have you ever fallen for someone and been too chicken to tell them?’
His cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink and he drops his gaze to the floor for a second. ‘Yeah, I have. In fact, you could say it’s happening right now.’
I glance up at him and the look in his eyes tells me everything I need to know. Yet there’s still a tiny part of me that can’t quite believe this is happening. This is far too perfect; he’s let me teach him to dance and is now basically telling me he likes me. There has to be some sort of catch.
‘Well, what are you waiting for?’ I say with a breezy smile, still refusing to see what’s right in front of me. ‘Tell her! You’ve got nothing to lose, have you?’
‘I’m trying, but she doesn’t seem to be getting the message,’ Scott replies. ‘Maybe I’ll have to show her instead.’
Before I can reply, Scott puts his hand on the back of my head and gently pulls me closer to him. His lips are warm and soft when they meet mine. They feel new and exciting, making my skin shiver with delight. I wrap my arms round his neck and deepen the kiss, desperate to make it last just that little bit longer. It feels like I’m meant to be here, that every setback and moment of sadness was leading to this.
We keep kissing, even as we hear footsteps in the foyer. It’s safe to say the over-sixty-fives keep-fit class get a shock when they see us.
Chapter Nineteen
My unexpected kiss with Scott puts me on a little cloud of bliss. The first person I tell is Emma, over a drink in the Bell and Candle a few hours later.
‘Oh my God, you have to tell me everything,’ she demands as we settle down into our seats. ‘What was it like? Are you going to see him again? How long did it last?’
I chuckle and roll my eyes. ‘Christ, I feel like we’re re-enacting the ‘Summer Nights’ scene from Grease! Are you going to interrupt me every few seconds by singing “tell me more, tell me more”?’
‘Maybe,’ Emma admits, sticking her tongue out at me. ‘I’ve always fancied myself as Frenchie. Anyway, spill! I want to hear everything.’
As I deliver my blow-by-blow account of what happened with Scott, it feels like I’m telling a story from someone else’s life. I do my best to remember who exactly said what and when, but my memories feel like they’re covered in a rose-tinted glaze.
Emma puts a hand to her chest and lets out a theatrical gasp when I get to the moment where Scott’s lips actually met mine. ‘That sounds bloody perfect, Cleo! Tell me you’re seeing this guy again.’
I feel myself blush a little and put my hands over my face to hide it. ‘I might be… He’s asked if I want to go out for dinner one night and, well, I didn’t say no!’
‘You’re so lucky; I wish I could find someone as awesome as Scott.’
‘What about Ben?’ I remind her, nodding over towards the bar. ‘Isn’t he absolutely crazy about you?’
She grimaces and sighs as she lets her chin rest on her palm. ‘So did I, but he hasn’t even asked me out yet. I’ve been making eyes at him and flirting with him for God knows how long and… nothing. Maybe I read the signals wrong and he doesn’t like me. Or maybe, as per usual, I’ve been shoved into the Friend Zone!’
I glance across to the bar again. Ben’s watching Emma like a hawk as he pretends to be busy cleaning glasses.
‘Yup, you’re right. You’re totally in the Friend Zone; that’ll be why he hasn’t stopped looking over here since we arrived.’
Emma reluctantly looks up and the shy smile that crosses her lips as she sees Ben looking at her tells me everything I need to know.
‘If the last few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that you have to grab life by the balls sometimes. Out of the two of us, you’ve always been the one who’s good at doing that. So, what’s stopping you now?’
She purses her lips and looks downwards. This is unusual; Emma’s never had a problem looking me in the eye before.
‘I actually like him; that’s the problem. I don’t know how to handle it because I’ve never liked anyone like this before. If I’m not that into a guy, everything’s easy because I don’t have anything to lose. Now, if Ben doesn’t like me the way I like him, I’ll be gutted. At least you know how Scott feels about you; I’ve got no idea!’
I take a sip of my drink then squeeze Emma’s shoulder affectionately. ‘Go over and talk to him, ask if he fancies doing something this weekend. The worst thing he can say is no, and if he does then he’s a massive twat who doesn’t deserve you. I reckon he’s just a really shy bloke who doesn’t know how to make the first move because he’s as scared as you are. So go on, go for it!’
My best friend looks a little uncertain at first, but aft
er finishing off her drink she gets up and runs her hands down the gorgeous striped pencil skirt she’s wearing.
‘OK,’ she says, ‘wish me luck!’
‘Good luck, but you won’t need it,’ I say with a smile.
As I watch her approach the bar, the way Ben’s face lights up when he sees her tells me she’ll be absolutely fine. I feel an odd sense of contentment settling over me. Is this what it’s like to be truly at peace with yourself? Even if it’s only for a little while, I’m glad I get to experience what it feels like.
*
Floating round Silverdale in my little bubble of happiness prompts me to invest even further in my bucket list. The day after my kiss with Scott, I find myself looking into booking sky-dives and luxury holiday resorts. My dreams seem more within reach than they ever have, like I can just reach out and touch them if I want to.
I’m just filling in my card details to book a sky-dive when phone ringing distracts me. It’s Zara.
‘Hey, I know we said next week for having a drink together, but how about we do it tonight instead? I need to get out of the house and have some fun, instead of staying in thinking about Craig.’
‘Yeah, that sounds good,’ I reply. ‘How are you doing? I know it can’t be easy with him being gone.’
There’s a small pause and it sounds like Zara’s crying. ‘Yeah, it’s been rough… We can have a good old chat about it tonight; I’d better go, got lots to do. Why don’t we meet in the pub at, say, seven?’
‘Sounds good to me, look I—’
Before I can say anything else, Zara hangs up. My heart sinks for her; I can tell she’s hurting, but I have no idea how to help her. Hopefully a chat over a few drinks in the pub will make her feel a bit better.
For now, back to finalising my sky-dive…
Until my phone goes ballistic again.
My heart skips a little when I see it’s Scott calling me. I answer the call as fast as I can, my stomach fizzing with excitement.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, you,’ his crackly, yet still incredibly sexy, voice replies a moment later. ‘I just thought I’d give you a call to see how you were after yesterday’s dance-a-thon. I’ve been thinking about you today.’