Her mother chose that exact moment to join their conversation, and Kate was grateful for it. “I don’t need you to walk me anywhere, young man. I’m still perfectly capable of getting around on my own. It’s not like I have to ford rivers or climb mountains. It’s just a little path.”
Kate glanced toward Jack who was still smiling at her mom, but his expression seemed a bit sadder now.
“You’re right, Nancy. But you also need to realize that there will be a time when you might not remember exactly where you need to go. It’s too cold outside today for me to risk having today be that day. It would make me feel better if I knew I could get you safely home.” He looked at Kate. “And I know it would make your daughter feel better, too.”
She nodded in agreement, causing her mom to throw her hands up in frustration.
“Fine. It’s not like I have any say anymore in what happens to me,” she spat.
Kate cringed at the show of her mother’s ugly temper coming out so early in the day. This did not bode well for them, but she waited to see how Jack would handle it.
He simply reached out for her mom’s hand and placed it on his arm so he could lead her into his office in the back. As they walked away from her, Kate overheard him say, “Thank you, Nancy. And I know it feels like everything is being taken from you, but you still have control over many things, including how you deal with what’s happening to you. And from what I’ve witnessed so far, you’ve been one of the strongest women I’ve ever met.”
Immediately, her mom’s anger drained from her face and she smiled sheepishly up at him. “I’m not strong. I’m just doing the best I can to be able to stay with my daughter as long as I can.”
It seemed Kate wasn’t the only Griffin woman to be befuddled by his charms. She watched them until the door swung shut behind them. Jack was right about one thing, and that was how strong her mother was now, had always been.
Now she just needed to find her own strength so she could make it through this, too.
Chapter 3
The main thing Memory Ranch was known for was its award-winning equestrian therapy program, and Kate was beyond honored to contribute in her small way, even if it was often just mucking out the stables or giving the horses a bit of exercise. She never would have dreamed she could find work doing what she loved while supporting the person she loved most in this world, too. She found her work with the horses centering in a world that often spun too fast for her to keep up.
Kate grabbed some hay and shook it through the fence into the feeding trough. She laughed as Buddy, the big tan horse, raced over as though he hadn’t eaten for days. The horses were all brought up to live in the stables and pens in the small pasture during the winter. In fact, their state-of-the-art stables were bigger than one of the earlier apartments Kate and her mom had lived in after her father left.
“Buddy, just wait,” she said, grabbing another section of the bale to shake out. “You’ve got to let me spread some of it out in the feeder so some of the others can eat, too.”
She shook her head as she put the hay in the feeder, and the tan gelding followed her with his giant, groping lips. Working outside with the horses provided more healing than she’d ever manage to find stuck between four walls. As long as she could keep herself busy, she didn’t have to think about the future or what might happen next.
For their part, the horses made for the most wonderful distractions, keeping her feet firmly planted in the present moment.
She shuffled the hay around, moving it so the other horses could reach the food, too. Buddy nudged her arm, trying to sneak some more hay. Laughing, she grabbed a little more hay to toss to Buddy.
As she stood back up to toss the hay in, her eyes landed on a figure in a heavy coat walking along the path toward her. Doctor Jack smiled as he approached. White breathy vapors escaped from his mouth as he adjusted his black wool cap to cover his ears.
“I didn’t realize it was this cold outside today,” he called out as he got closer. “It felt a lot warmer when I arrived earlier, but I guess going from my car into the house doesn’t give me much chance to see how cold it really is.” He brought his hands up to cup them in front of his mouth and blow in them. He smiled kindly at her again as she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart.
“You should be wearing gloves. We haven’t even gotten to breakup season yet. It’s going to be cold.” She turned slightly to throw the next bit of hay over the fence, hoping he didn’t catch her rolling her eyes at herself. She sounded like her mother had when she used to remind Kate about how she shouldn’t be outside without her mittens.
Why was she even chiding him? It wasn’t like her silly crush would ever amount to anything more. A doctor like Jack Young probably had women throwing themselves at his feet, flirting and acting coy whenever he was around. Kate knew the type. Jack was a good-looking and educated man who probably viewed her as some kind of small-town country hick who didn’t know how to act around proper company.
Why was she thinking about all of this anyway? He worked as her mother’s therapist, for crying out loud! He was trying to help them deal with just about the worst possible thing a family could go through, and here she was thinking how much he made her pulse quicken whenever he stood near to her.
He made a dismissive gesture, laughing at himself. “Oh, I know. I grew up not too far from here, so you’d think I would know better. But by the end of winter I’m just so ready for spring to be here, I forget it actually isn’t.”
Jack stepped closer to her and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just dropped Nancy off at your cabin, so I thought you’d like to know. She was pretty tired by the end of the session, so I imagine she’ll sleep for a while, but you might want to check in on her soon.”
She flung the last bit of hay to the other side then leaned against the fence, unable to look him in the eyes as she spoke. “I figure you can’t really discuss much about your sessions with her, but how do you feel about how things are progressing? I’m worried because it just seems like everything’s happening so fast. She’s having more and more bad spells lately. I honestly don’t even like leaving her alone in the cabin for longer than a few minutes.”
He nodded slowly and glanced over toward the row of cabins that could be seen just beyond the trees. “It’s hard to say. Everyone is different, but she’s showing all of the classic signs that the illness is continuing to progress quickly. I wish I could give you a timeline of some sort, but there really are no guarantees. Most patients only have four to eight years from the time of their diagnosis, but some keep going as long as twenty. As long as she’s able to function well enough at home with you, I don’t think there’s any concern.”
He turned back to face her and held her gaze with his deep brown eyes. “Have you been looking into options for more permanent full-time care for her when it gets to that point? I can help you find a suitable placement for her. I’ve worked with most facilities in Anchorage so I know which ones can offer the best care.”
She shook her head firmly and turned to walk back toward the barn. She’d had this conversation many times before—with Jack, with the doctors, even with her own mother. “No. I can look after her. I’m not putting her in a home with people who don’t even know her. She deserves better than that.”
Jack caught up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Desperately trying to hold back tears, Kate refused to turn around and look at him.
“I know you want to look after Nancy yourself, but things are going to get harder. As good as your intentions are, you aren’t equipped for the type of round the clock care she’s going to need. Eventually she will get to the point of needing everything done for her. As much as you love her, that’s not what she wants for you. And it’s not something you can handle on your own.”
She knew every word he said was true, but she wasn’t ready to face this particular reality right now. “Mom raised me on her own and did everything all by herself, too. She’s seen
me through the roughest points in my life. The least I can do is treat her with the same level of care. If that means finding someone to come in and help, then that’s what I’ll do. But I’m not putting her in some home. I’m going to be there for her like she was for me.” She still refused to look him in the eye.
Jack moved around to the front of her, forcing her to face him. Her eyes were wet from the tears she’d been holding back all morning. She kept them unfocused now, staring off toward the barn doors in the distance.
“Listen, it’s a noble goal, and I know how hard it is. I really do. But I think you should talk to Nancy about this. She’s told me many times that she doesn’t want to be a burden on you.”
He put his hands up to stop her when she glared at him, ready to tell him her mother would never be a burden. “Her words, not mine,” he insisted. “I know you would never think like that, but you need to understand how your mother feels about all this. Please, come to the next session with her so we can sit down and give your mother the chance to talk to you about everything that’s worrying her.”
Kate narrowed her gaze in annoyance. “Do you think we haven’t talked about all of this since she was diagnosed? Do you honestly believe I’ve just lived in a little bubble trying to ignore this disease? Do you think I don’t already know everything she’s feeling? Trust me, we’ve been over it all a hundred times since the diagnosis. I know where things are headed. And I’m going to do what’s best for my mom. Right now, I think—no, I know—that’s for her to be with me.”
Just because Jack was a well-educated therapist didn’t mean he understood what was best for Kate’s family. Still, he had been right about so much, what if he was also right about this? Kate refused to accept that she would one day fail her mother. Even if Jack didn’t believe in her ability to take care of them both, she knew her love for her mother would make all things possible. She had no other option.
Jack held his mouth in a straight line as he listened to her. But before he could respond, they heard a shout from inside the barn.
Howard, the old cowboy who also worked on the ranch, came to the open doorway and let out a shrill whistle, then shouted, “Kate, looks like Scarlett is ready to foal early. I think you better come in here and help. She’s acting pretty distressed.”
Scarlett was a young mare the ranch had rescued from a hoarding situation out in the valley up north. Poor thing had been seriously emaciated when they got her, so all season they’d been working to get her strong enough to carry her foal to term. There should’ve been more time before Scarlett was ready to give birth. Kate feared there wouldn’t be any way to save either of them if things went wrong.
She pushed past Jack, then stopped and turned back. But before she could ask for the favor she needed, he nodded in anticipation.
“Don’t worry,” he assured her. “I’ll go back and check on Nancy. I can stay for a bit and keep her company if you’re going to be a while.”
Kate wasn’t sure how to say thank you, knowing she hadn’t been very considerate to him before when he was trying to help her by offering his professional opinion. Yet he’d immediately known what she needed and had extended his help without question. Having someone else to count on wasn’t something she was used to anymore. Not since her mother had begun her sharp cognitive decline.
But she didn’t have time to think about what it meant that Jack was so ready and willing to do what he could for them. If he was willing to give her a break so she could tend to Scarlett without worrying about her mom, too, then she was going to take it.
Chapter 4
Kate held the tiny foal’s head on her lap as they sat together on the straw-covered floor. She tipped the bottle back so the foal could get the colostrum she desperately needed to give her the best fighting chance at survival.
“Are you in here, Kate?” a voice called out from the door, interrupting the quiet of the early morning barn. The other horses had been turned out already to enjoy some time in the warmth of the sun.
Brenna tiptoed toward them. She’d once been a guest at the ranch but now worked as the head chef here. She did most of the cooking in the main house with some assistance for larger events. In fact, Brenna was one of the first people she’d met when Kate had first come to the ranch. They’d become fast friends, each respecting the other enough not to ask too many probing, hurtful questions.
Thankfully, things seemed to be working out nicely for Brenna these days. She’d come to terms with many of the things that had happened in her past and was now moving forward in a relationship with a man she loved. And the best part was that there was no doubt how much her new beau Matt loved Brenna in return.
“Come say hello to our new arrival,” Kate said softly, trying not to startle the little thing. Still, the filly stopped sucking and turned her soft head to glance at Brenna’s approaching form. Hunger must have overtaken curiosity because she quickly went back to sucking on the bottle Kate held out for her.
“I heard Scarlett had her foal last night. A bit early, wasn’t it?” Brenna talked quietly as she crouched down on the straw beside them.
“It was. I’m worried about her. She’s so small and weak, and Scarlett’s still frightened and confused. Unfortunately, she rejected her foal, so now it’s up to us to nurse the poor dear to health. It’s going to be a long road for her.”
“All long roads lead to Memory Ranch, it seems.” Brenna reached out and stroked the dark chestnut fur. “Poor little thing. I’m not surprised that Scarlett rejected her, though. She’s young and weak herself, and this is her first foal. She probably knows she can’t offer what this little girl needs.”
Kate nodded and smiled sadly. “I know. I was just hoping there would be a better outcome.” She’d been wishing that a lot lately, especially when it came to mothers and daughters. “Scarlett has been through so much and now this little one will be in for a fight, too. It just doesn’t seem fair.”
“No, it doesn’t. But at least she has one thing going for her. She has you in her corner, and I know you’ll do everything you can to help her.”
Kate laughed softly. “You’re right about that. I just hope it’s going to be enough.”
Brenna widened her eyes and grabbed Kate by the shoulder. “That should be her name.”
“What should?” Kate studied her friend in confusion.
Brenna beamed with the excitement that came with a great idea. “Hope. That’s what you should call her. If there’s anything I’ve learned in these past few months, hope is the one thing that can keep you going when all else feels lost. And you know Memory Ranch gives hope to all who come here. Maybe this little girl could become a symbol of that for all of us.”
Kate’s eyes fell on the weak animal lying in the straw beside her. Right now, it didn’t look good for her. The road ahead wound uphill and would be undoubtedly be filled with bumps and sudden turns. Maybe Kate needed hope just as much as the foal in her arms.
Yes, Brenna was right.
“That’s a pretty tall order for such a tiny filly. But I think it’s perfect.” Kate leaned forward and whispered loudly into the filly’s ear. “How do you like your new name, Hope?”
The large brown eyes that seemed out of place on her tiny head opened widely, and Kate was almost sure certain saw a spark of strength light from within.
Maybe Hope could get through this, after all.
For her part, Kate would do everything she could to make sure of it.
They sat for a few minutes in silence, listening to the sound of sucking as Hope drained the last of her colostrum. Would it be enough? Had they gotten it to her on time?
Newborn foals needed the colostrum from their mothers to help fight off the bacteria and infections that could affect them later on. But since Hope had been rejected by Scarlett, she hadn’t received the vital nourishment. Thankfully, they always had some frozen to keep on hand for emergencies like this.
Kate pictured the baby horse growing strong and frolicking in the
yard. If she wished for it hard enough, perhaps she could make it a reality.
“So, I came down here with an ulterior motive in mind.” Brenna pulled her knees up to hug to her chest as she peeked over at her friend.
“Uh oh. What’s up?” Kate asked as she stroked the now sleeping Hope.
“Howard told me that you’d been out here nonstop since late last night. It’s my job to relieve you and to tell you to go get some breakfast.”
Kate shook her head, and the sudden dizziness made her realize just how tired she had allowed herself to become. “I’ll go, but not to eat. I’ve got to get back to my cabin and check on Mom.”
Brenna’s eyes lighted with the promise of more good news to come. “No need. Doctor Jack actually got her up to the main house for breakfast.”
Kate’s voice cracked. “Really?”
“Yeah, he stayed with her all night since you were tied up here with Hope. He’s a good guy, that one.”
She nodded even though she now felt worse about her last interaction with Jack. She hadn’t been the nicest and he’d still gone above and beyond for her mother.
Scarlett whinnied from the stall next to them, so Kate pulled herself to her feet to go check on her. She slowly stepped away from the sleeping Hope, careful not to move her.
Brenna stood, too, and reached down to brush the straw from her pants. “And also, before you head up to the house, I have a second ulterior motive this morning. It’s …well…” She held her hand out toward Kate, and it took her a moment to notice a fresh tattoo on her ring finger.
Kate’s breath caught in her throat. She’d never seen Brenna so excited about anything. “Is that…? Are you…? You’re getting married! Oh, Brenna, I’m so happy for you.”
She grabbed her friend and pulled her in for a hug. “When? How?”
They both laughed as Kate’s voice gushed with excitement.
Memories of Heaven Page 2