by Ward, Alice
How does love cause such blindness? How does it make us think so poorly? More importantly, how do we live with the regrets?
As Asher and I sink further into the abyss of his past and face the growing darkness of his future, a light finally appears at the end of our long, treacherous tunnel. But before we reach it, I realize it’s only an illusion. A trick. Before it engulfs us, I can only hope it isn’t too late to turn back.
This book is intended for a mature audience, 18+ only.
CHAPTER 1
This isn’t happening. I’ve woken up in someone else’s life again and this time, it feels like a fairytale. We should be on our way to the Hamptons right now. And surely they’ll let us go once they understand that Rachel was lying… why the hell did I get in the truck?
The hours after our arrests crawled by in a blur of procedures and disbelief. Before shoving Asher and me into the back of separate police cars, one of the cops stuffed our cuffed hands into thick plastic bags to preserve any gunshot residue. Upon arrival at the San Luis Obispo Sheriff’s station, the bags were removed and my hands were covered in carbon tape; the female officer in charge of my intake cringed and apologized as she removed the tape with quick, stinging pulls.
Officer Masters handed me a white jumpsuit and turned her head as I stripped out of my clothes. Once I was dressed, she stuffed my things into an evidence bag and took me to be photographed and printed. The department’s fingerprint scanner had crashed earlier that morning, so I got to do things the old fashioned way. I stared down at the black ink on my hands and knew that regardless of what happened next, my life would never be the same.
When it was time to make my phone call, I dialed Kennedy’s number from memory. When her line went straight to voicemail, I was allowed a second call. Parker answered on the first ring and assured me she was minutes from the sheriff’s station. She also explained that she’d alerted Kennedy the moment she’d woken up and found us gone that morning. She and Jackson had hopped on the fastest family jet and would be landing in San Luis Obispo within the hour. Parker advised me to sit tight and keep my mouth shut until she got to the station. I promised not to speak and insisted that she see Asher before me. I ended the call and Officer Masters led me to an interrogation room.
It makes sense that they arrested us. It was our word against Rachel’s and Asher and I were the ones with the guns in our hands. But Kennedy and Parker will be able to straighten everything out. They’ll explain Rachel’s history. Detective Austin can bring them up to speed on the case. This is just an unexpected bump in the road. It will be settled before dinner time.
I shifted my weight on the unforgiving plastic chair and stared down at my stained hands. The pungent smell of hot gunpowder lingered in my nostrils and the image of Luis Chavez bleeding out on the rustic wood floor flashed through my mind. But most unsettling was Asher’s voice echoing through my head, addressing Chavez as “Uncle.” I had no doubt about it: the moment Luis stepped out of the cabin, Asher Reynolds had morphed back into Billy Murphy. And once again, he’d taken a life to protect someone he loved.
My jumpsuit had short sleeves and the interrogation room was freezing. I pulled my arms close to my chest, rubbing my bare skin in an attempt to warm myself with the friction. Someone on the other side of the one-way glass must have noticed; a few moments later, two new officers entered the room with three steaming coffees. They took seats on the other side of the table, placing the spare Styrofoam mug between them.
“Ms. Matthews, I’m Detective Logan,” the rounder officer announced. He emptied a manila folder and stared down at the paperwork, his green eyes full of sympathy. It was clear that the red headed detective was playing the role of good cop.
“This is my partner, Detective Stanley—”
Aka bad cop.
Detective Stanley was tall and thin, with broad shoulders and an unforgiving glare across his pale face. He sneered at me and Logan continued.
“It looks like you got yourself mixed up in quite the mess, Ms. Matthews. Let me assure you that I understand how you wound up here. Mr. Reynolds is a very wealthy man. I’m sure you got wrapped up in the fantasy aspects of his life. Anyone would. You don’t seem the type to get involved in vigilante justice. I assume you had no idea what you were in for when you set out with Asher this morning. I know you don’t have a record and you must feel pretty overwhelmed right now. If you’ll just explain to us what happened after you left Mr. Reynold’s estate, we’ll get you out of here asap.”
Chilly air blew from the vent above my head and the hair on the back of my neck stood up straight. I was miserable and terrified, but I refused to play their game. I relaxed my arms to my sides, held my head high, and stared defiantly across the table.
“I’m not answering any questions until my lawyer is here,” I insisted.
Detective Stanley let out a snort and took a drink of his coffee. He turned to his partner with a frown.
“I told you she wouldn’t talk. Because she was as much a part of this as her boyfriend. Isn’t that right, Lauren?” he pressed.
He’s trying to force a reaction. He wants me to defend myself or lash out so he can prove I have a temper. I cannot lose my cool.
“I’m not answering anything without my lawyer,” I repeated, this time a little less aggressively.
“You can wait for your lawyer, but she isn’t going to be much help to you,” Stanley retorted. “According to the responding officers, Mr. Reynolds was holding a pistol when they broke through the door. But you had the real fire power, didn’t you? And you gave Ms. Goins quite the beating with it. According to the ER doctor, you broke three bones in her face.”
She broke her own fucking face. For the love of God, Kennedy, where are you?
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sit there holding my tongue while Detective Stanley taunted me. Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to wait long. Kennedy stormed into the room just as Stanley pushed a photograph of Rachel’s face across the table.
“My name is Kennedy Montgomery. I’m Ms. Matthew’s attorney and I demand a moment to speak privately with my client,” she insisted, tossing her briefcase onto the table.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Montgomery. I’m Detective Logan and this is my partner Detective Stanley. We’ll clear the room and give you a few minutes to confer with your client. When you’re ready to begin, we’ll be in the break room across the hall.”
Kennedy gripped my hand under the table while the detectives gathered their things. Stanley gave us a final sneer before the two of them left us alone.
“What are the chances there’s someone watching on the other side of that glass?” I whispered, my eyes fixed to the mirror.
“None,” she assured me. “I’m your attorney. Our privacy is protected by law. And I planted an intern outside the door to the viewing room, just in case.”
She folded her arms over her chest and gave me a stern look. “Parker called when she woke up and realized the two of you had taken off in Asher’s truck. I tried to tell myself that you’d just gone off for some private time before the press conference. But when you didn’t answer your phone, Jackson and I set off for the airport. By the time we got there, Detective Austin had checked in and told us about Asher’s call. What the hell happened, Lauren? And what the fuck were you thinking, going after Rachel all on your own without so much as your cell phone?”
My heart squeezed as I looked into my friend’s eye. I could feel her anger seething under the surface. “I’ll explain everything. I promise. I haven’t seen Asher since they loaded us in the police cars. Detective Stanley said Rachel’s at the hospital. Please tell me that you brought her medical records and we’ll be able to prove she’s lying.”
Kennedy raised one eyebrow; the rest of her expression remained unfazed. “Is she lying?”
“Of course she is!” I insisted, shocked that she’d even asked. “How long have you known me, Kennedy? Do you really think I’d hit someone in the face with the barrel
of a shotgun?”
“Yes,” she answered without hesitation. “If you were put in a situation where you had to. We don’t have much time. Tell me the story from the beginning.”
I took a deep breath and started by explaining Asher’s dream. Kennedy listened silently, gasping as I recounted the confrontation at the cabin.
“So she hit herself with the shotgun?”
I nodded and rubbed my temples with my fingers. “It all happened so fast. Before we left the truck, Asher told me to drop if he said the name Livingston. He said it and I hit the ground. When I first heard the shot, I didn’t know who’d fired. For a minute… for a minute I thought Asher was dead.” I hugged myself again, this time more from the memory than the cold. “I told you what happened. Now it’s your turn. Is Parker with Asher? Did you bring Rachel’s medical records?”
“Yes and yes,” she assured me. “Asher’s in the interrogation room down the hall. Parker and Detective Austin got here about half an hour before I did. Parker’s with Asher and Austin is speaking with the Lieutenant in charge of the case. He brought all of your case files from San Jose and the Goins family has faxed over Rachel’s medical history as well as signed affidavits regarding her mental state.”
“So this will all be cleared up soon?” I asked, trying not to hope.
“I’m not sure it will be that easy,” she warned. “We have a whole lot of paperwork, but no solid evidence. Rachel’s parents dragged her to plenty of doctors, but she never received an actual diagnosis. We can’t prove that she’s hiding Asher’s money until we find it. At the moment, it’s her word against yours, and—”
“And when the cops broke down the door, Luis was dead, Rachel was on the ground bleeding, and Asher and I had guns in our hands,” I recounted Detective Stanley’s words with a sigh. “We called the police. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“You called Austin, who has zero jurisdiction in San Luis Obispo,” she reminded me. “And you continued on to the cabin against his warning… with a loaded weapon.”
“I didn’t know about the pistol until we were already on the road,” I promised her.
“I believe you. But the fact remains that Asher took a loaded gun into the cabin and used it to kill Luis Chavez. To anyone unfamiliar with the backstory, this looks like premeditated murder. If Asher’s convicted—”
Panic raced through my body. “We can’t let that happen. What can we do to keep that from happening?”
“We’ll do everything we can, Lauren. We still have people looking for Asher’s money. I have a clerk drafting subpoenas for every doctor who so much as reviewed Rachel’s medical files. There are a dozen people following two dozen different leads in an attempt to keep Asher out of jail.”
Tension rose in Kennedy’s voice and her face flushed red. She was frustrated with me and I deserved it. I squeezed her hand and spoke in a soothing tone. “I’m sorry. I know I must have given you quite a scare.”
“I don’t know what the hell you were thinking. But I know you didn’t understand the kind of danger you were putting yourself in. Asher should have known better. I’ll never forgive him for taking you along.”
“He didn’t force me into the Explorer,” I insisted.
She raised her eyebrow again. “Didn’t he? Your choices were to go along or be left to worry. He should have stayed put and let the law take care of this. Rachel and Luis would both be behind bars right now.”
“I agree that we could have handled things better. But there’s no use dwelling on it. What are we going to do now?”
Kennedy shifted in her seat and looked down at the table. “You’re not going to want to hear this. But as your attorney, I’d be negligent if I didn’t suggest that we file for a separation. I can represent you; Parker will take care of Asher. We both know his GRT is going to come back positive. He has a long, dirty history with Luis and Rachel and plenty of reasons to want both of them dead. If the DA’s office finds a doctor who will declare Rachel sane, Asher could very easily be convicted. If you’re tried separately, you’ll have a good chance of not serving time.”
I shook my head. “I won’t do it. Asher is the man I love, not a sinking ship. I won’t abandon him.”
Kennedy sighed. “I expected you to say that. But I had to at least make the suggestion. Now, I’m going to go get Logan and Stanley. They’re going to ask you a lot of questions and I want you to answer them honestly, but count to four first. That will give me time to make any objections. Make eye contact with them and don’t fidget. If you’re asked something you don’t want to answer, signal me by crossing your legs.”
“Got it.”
I took a series of deep breaths to calm myself while Kennedy went to fetch the detectives.
***
I spent two grueling hours in the frigid interrogation room, desperately trying not to lose my temper. The more aggressive the detective’s questions became, the harder it was to keep my tone in check.
It was clear by their attitudes they believed Rachel’s side of the story. Kennedy pointed out that we had case files from San Jose and Las Angeles to corroborate our stories. Detective Logan countered by reminding her that the moment we had a lead on Rachel and Luis, we’d taken justice into our own hands. Detective Stanley took it a step further and accused Asher and me of manipulating the police from day one. They refused to believe my version of events and I refused to lie and tell them what they wanted to hear.
When it became apparent that the interrogation was going nowhere, Stanley turned off the tape recorder and announced that an officer would be in shortly to escort me to my cell. He took great joy in telling me that there wasn’t room for our arraignment on the afternoon docket, so Asher and I would be spending the night in lockup. Kennedy promised to do what she could to change that and set off for the courthouse.
My cell was tiny, but private. Most importantly, it was at least fifteen degrees warmer than the interrogation room. The cinderblock walls were painted a drab taupe and the metal bed frame was topped with a one-inch cushion. A small metal toilet was mounted in the corner and I prayed I’d never have to use it. I laid down on the mattress and stared up at the stained ceiling tiles.
I wonder where Asher is right now. They’re probably still questioning him. I expected things to get worse before they got better, but this is a nightmare. I can’t imagine the story Rachel’s concocting right now. Let her talk. As soon as her medical records catch up with her, it’ll be game over.
That was the mantra I’d been reciting since I was handcuffed at the cabin. “As soon as they understand what’s really going on, this will all be over.” But the more time I spent on the threadbare jail mattress, the less I believed myself. I had no phone, no clock, no way at all to know how much time had passed. I closed my eyes and resolved myself for a miserable night. At some point, I drifted off to sleep.
The sound of my cell door clanging open startled me awake. I bolted upright, completely disoriented.
“Your lawyer is a miracle worker,” Officer Masters announced, tossing me a garment bag. “She convinced a judge to hold your arraignment before she leaves the courthouse this afternoon. I’ll turn my head while you change and then escort you to the transport van.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
The officer nodded and turned her back to me. I unzipped the black bag and found a white silk blouse and a tastefully cut, black Prada pantsuit. I said a silent prayer of thanks for my best friend’s fantastic taste and unlimited clothing budget as I pulled on the designer pieces. Simple black pumps and a single strand of pearls completed my modest, elegant look.
“I’m ready,” I announced, pulling on the jacket.
“I’m sorry, but I have to cuff you,” she explained, a hint of apology in her voice.
Maybe someone here is on our side.
“I understand,” I assured her. I moved my arms behind my back and she shook her head.
“It’s okay. You can keep them in front of y
ou.”
I held my arms out to her and she fastened the cuffs.
“Detective Austin is still here,” she said, her voice hushed. She peered out the cell door, her eyes darting down the empty corridor and then back to me. “He’s been proclaiming your innocence for hours. Logan and Stanley aren’t buying it. Neither’s the Lieutenant. But for what it’s worth, the two of you don’t seem like cold-blooded killers to me.”
Hope swelled in my chest. “You believe us?”
She nodded. “The way Austin described Ms. Goins… it sounded pretty familiar to me. My cousin, Carly, is just like her. It’s like she’s missing the piece of her brain that tells her the difference between right and wrong. And when she gets fixated on something, God help anyone who stands in her way.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Rachel,” I agreed.
“Cynthia,” Officer Masters corrected me.
“That’s right. The doctors said we’re supposed to call her by her real name.”
“She’s asked to be called Cynthia,” she explained.
What? That doesn’t make any sense. She practically crawled out of her skin when Asher called her Cynthia. Now she’s insisting on it? What the hell does she have up her sleeve?
Officer Masters slid the cell door open again and led me through a maze of hallways. We reached the back of the building and she opened the door to a loading dock where a transport van was waiting.
“The press has been camped out by the front door all day long, so we thought it would be best to sneak you out the back,” she explained.
“Shit. I hadn’t even thought about the press. How much do they know?”
The officer shrugged. “I haven’t had time to pay attention. Good luck in court. I hope you get bail. If not, I’ll see you soon.”
She opened the van’s sliding door; Asher was already waiting on the long bench seat. He looked like he’d aged a decade in the hours since I’d last seen him, but his eyes softened slightly when they fell on me. Officer Masters helped me onto the seat and buckled me in before sliding the door closed again. The driver paid us no attention as he pulled the van away from the dock.