by Meg Ripley
As we talked, my eyes kept searching the faces of those in the village behind him, going about their business, and my gaze landed on a man standing with his arms crossed, staring at me. It took a moment before I realized it was Javier. I nodded once to him, and he narrowed his eyes at me. He stood there the entire time, watching.
The whole thing had ended too soon, and I was back in the boat without having seen so much as a glimpse of Valentina. I wondered if any of my gifts had made it to her. Perhaps someone had intercepted and kept them from her, like Javier. But what reason would he have for doing that? Unless…did he think he could have Valentina for his own? That would never happen; not a chance.
As I paddled back toward the Texan side of the river, I wondered just how involved Javier was—and it wasn’t just me. The whole crew dedicated to stopping drug runners from crossing the border was trying to figure out Javier’s role in all of this.
But in Boquillas specifically, how much say did he have? Maybe I could talk to Oscar and get an idea. I thought back to when I’d met Valentina at the dock; Javier had shown up then, too. I hadn’t liked the way he looked at or talked to her. And he was there again that day. I knew he didn’t live by the river bank, so did he just hang out there all day, watching?
When I got back to the station, I talked with Wyatt for a while, going over all the connections we knew existed. Javier had been mentioned in one attempted crossing by the only man we’d gotten to talk, and it was only because he had someone in the US he wanted to get back to. Usually, the men we caught didn’t say a word and were happy to go back to Mexico without further delay. But the one who’d disappeared into the Texan desert had said Javier forced men to work for him.
And once, Javier had said that Valentina’s father was “his.” The pieces started to come together for me. A small village on the border without much. A man in power and connected, able to provide supplies like food and medicine for them when it worked in his favor. The Rangers in the park did as much as we could to help Boquillas out, but we couldn’t supply everything, and jobs were more than scarce.
But where did Valentina and I play into his plans? Diego must’ve been killed doing a run for Javier. It was hard to imagine he might’ve been involved in something like drug trafficking, but a man like Javier wouldn’t have given him a choice, and a man like Diego wouldn’t have done it if there was another way. It made me think differently about those we caught. Maybe they’d been forced into it, too. And if they were afraid enough to remain quiet, we’d never have what we needed to stop Javier or his clan, Los Aulladores.
I found myself pacing the floor of my living room that night, still seething over my thoughts. The worst part was, I couldn’t do a thing. I couldn’t prove Javier was involved, so I couldn’t stop him. At least not legally. The more I thought about it, the more pumped up I got. If Javier was the problem, I would remove him as a factor.
That had to be it. Why else would Valentina turn from me? Keeping her family safe and provided for was the only reason that made sense. I’d have to send her photo and Miguel’s to all the outposts we had and make sure I got to question either of them if they were caught. I hoped they weren’t involved in any way, but if Diego had been, there was a good chance at least Miguel was, too.
I’d nearly decided to go to Boquillas when one thought stopped me. I didn’t know for sure. And if I couldn’t have been sure that Javier was the one keeping her from me, then I had to consider other possibilities. Javier might’ve had nothing to do with it. All the other possible reasons—her family, a prearranged marriage, she’d changed her mind—could have still been legitimate. Or, there could have been more than one reason. I might go down there and make a dang fool of myself.
But the alternative was to do nothing, and I’d come too far to be okay with that. It’d been too long since I saw her, and I had to know about the Javier thing. I couldn’t go back to just waiting and hoping she would finally call back. If I made a fool of myself, at least I would do it trying to win back the woman I desperately loved.
I reckoned I’d go right at twilight. That way, I’d have some cover of darkness, but it would still be early enough in the day to be acceptable. If the problem was her family, I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything rude, beyond just showing up at their door. I started to gather some clothing and supplies into a bag so I could go in bear form.
As I stuffed a shirt into my bag, a sudden urge filled my chest. I have to protect her. I have to find her. Now. The urge was so strong that I cinched the bag and yanked off my clothes so I could run.
12
Valentina
I stared hard at the point where my spray hit the flames. My hands gripped the hose, holding it straight under the force of the water rushing through it. At the other end of the boat, another hose was being operated, but I paid no attention. I kept my focus on my water and nothing else.
If my mind started to shift to something else, I brought it right back to what I was doing. Only by doing that could I keep my mind from thinking about Elijah and everything that was happening. But no matter what, the bear inside me tried to claw her way out daily, seeking what she wanted most: Elijah.
Now I had a new worry. I still hadn’t been able to take a pregnancy test. I didn’t know if it was just fear or if I thought not knowing would somehow make it all go away. As long as I didn’t have a test saying I was pregnant, the chance still existed that I might not be. The only problem was, I already loved the idea of a baby that was half me and half Elijah. I thought of our child, and loved him or her already, without even knowing if he or she existed. Even if not now, my deepest hopes told me we’d have one someday.
If I was going to have a baby, I would need my family more than ever, and I needed to make sure they were safe. If I couldn’t raise our child with Elijah—and I knew it would be impossible for that to happen—then my mom and siblings would be the ones who would help me. Many of my neighbors would be helpful, too. That was one of the benefits of living in our tiny, tight-knit village: plenty of hands to help and eyes to watch. Of course, that was also the reason for my biggest source of heartache.
I had been able to confirm that Javier had no fewer than ten of my fellow Demonios watching me and reporting my actions to him. Some of the informants had told me themselves, like Miguel and Oscar, but it was more of a warning from them to be careful than anything else. But when I went to the store in the next town over, I came back to Boquillas to find Javier waiting for me. He knew what time I’d left on my horse, and I’d only seen one person on my way out. I figured out a few other informants based on who I’d seen before Javier showed up. One or two had come from my brother’s suspicions.
That was part of the reason that I hadn’t taken a test yet. I didn’t want anyone seeing me do it and somehow reporting back to Javier that I was pregnant. If I was, I had no idea what would happen when I started showing. Would he assume it was Elijah’s? What would he do about it? My biggest fear was he’d assume I’d gotten pregnant sometime after he’d told me to stop seeing Elijah and would think I’d been feeding him information the whole time. In that case, he might kill Elijah and I both. Or, even worse, he might offer to take care of me and be the father to my child. The idea of that was enough to make me physically ill. Again.
When my stomach turned, I shook my head. I’d let my thoughts get far away from what I was doing. The fire had shifted some and the boat had moved along with it. Things were finally starting to die down, and I saw more smoke than flame. Adjusting my grip, I aimed at the last of the flames.
When the fire had been extinguished, Oscar thanked us for a job well done. I stayed on the boat—which was better for my stomach than going from water to land, then back to water—but I found myself searching the shoreline for him. I tended to look for Elijah everywhere I went, especially if I was outside of Boquillas.
I headed home feeling a strange combination of excitement from the fire and constant sadness in my heart. The closer I got to home, t
he more my anxiety grew, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. But when I crossed into Boquillas, it become much more obvious.
Everyone seemed to be staring at me and whispering. When I made eye contact, they would look away. The feeling of dread grew by the second, and then I saw my ranch—with Javier standing in front of the house, waiting for me. He held flowers, and several gift boxes sat beside him on the ground.
When I rode within hearing range, I asked, “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you, chica. Isn’t it obvious?”
“Why would you do that?”
He grinned as I dismounted. Miguel hopped off his horse, too. I kept my distance from Javier, not liking the gut feeling I had about the situation I was walking into.
“So, why are you here?” I asked again.
“I’m surprised you don’t know what it means when a man sends a woman flowers.”
I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
“Why do you think a man would do that, Tina?” Javier asked.
“Because he likes her?” I glanced at Miguel, who looked as nervous as I felt.
“Because he loves her.”
Javier stepped forward and pushed the flowers at me, and I had no choice but to put my arms up to catch them.
He picked up the smaller box and shook it at me. “And what do you think comes in a box like this?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Jewelry?”
He nodded slowly and cracked open the box to show me a silver bracelet. It was stunning, but I’d never admit that to him.
“And why does a man buy a woman jewelry, chica?”
“Because he loves her?”
“Ahh.” He held up a finger. “Or because he did something wrong.” He shrugged, then picked up the last box, which was much bigger than the bracelet’s.
He lifted the lid to reveal a beautiful dress. It was simple but elegant: long and silvery-blue with a slit up the side. The sort of dress a woman wore to a formal event. But not the kind I would expect someone like Javier to pick out.
“A dress,” Javier said. “Now, if a man buys a woman flowers and jewelry to show his love, then why would he also buy her a dress?”
“To…take her out?” I looked over to Miguel again and he looked worried. So was I.
Javier dropped the dress in the dusty dirt and clapped slowly. “To take her out.”
My heart raced and I tried to think ahead of him, to anticipate what he would demand and how I would deal with it. It was one thing to have to ignore Elijah, it was another to be forced to date Javier. And most of all, I would never, ever want Elijah to know I went out with Javier; it would surely break his already wounded heart.
Javier walked over to me and stood with his nose almost touching mine, glaring into my eyes. I steeled my jaw, refusing to step back.
“If I bought you all these things, Tina,” he purred, “then I would expect you to wear them for me.”
I narrowed my eyes. If he bought them for me?
“And I would also expect,” Javier continued, “that the man who did send these gifts to you expects you to wear them for him.”
“The man who…?”
Javier stepped back and held up a notecard. “For Valentina, my love. I hope you enjoy these gifts, and that you will wear them when you join me. Love, Elijah.”
I gasped. No, no…this can’t be happening…
“Oh, yes,” Javier said. “I know everything. Well, almost. I don’t know how you managed to evade my watchers, but I do know you’ve been in contact with that bear.”
“But I swear, I haven’t!” I insisted. “He sent these because I haven’t talked to him!” Elijah sent those things? Elijah wanted me to meet him?
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” Javier barked. “He talks like it’s already planned. There’s no time or place listed, so you must already know it.”
“I don’t. We never made any plans together!”
I noticed then that Miguel had subtly moved closer to me. But he would be stupid to interfere if Javier attacked me; he’d be killed in a heartbeat.
“I saw him here yesterday,” Javier bragged.
I shot Miguel a horrified look. “Did Elijah come here?”
“Stop playing dumb!” Javier shouted.
“I didn’t see him, Javier,” I pleaded, “And I didn’t arrange for him to come. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since the night you first told me not to.”
“Lies again.” He glared and put his hands on his hips. “What do I like to do with liars, Miguel?”
“Um…” Miguel cleared his throat.
“Kill them,” Javier confirmed. “And you’ve lied to me plenty of times, Valentina.”
“No, I haven’t!”
“Then you didn’t fight the most recent fire in Big Bend? The one Elijah oversaw?”
My heart dropped. I had seen him. I’d forgotten our brief encounter at the fire.
Javier went on. “I was told by more than one of my ears that you talked to Elijah that day.”
I shook my head. “I only told him I couldn’t go out with him.”
“Then you admit you did talk to him. You did see him.”
“It was nothing.” I tried to make my voice sound light about it. “I forgot it even happened.”
Javier tore the flowers from my hands and threw them to the ground. He stepped closer to me and put his hand on my neck, squeezing gently at first, but his grip continually tightened. “If I see him here, in this village, I will kill him, and then I will kill you. If I find out you’ve been talking to him or contacting him in any way, I will kill you, and if he shows his face here again, I will then kill him. Either way, when I’m done with you and your lover boy, I’ll kill your whole family. Do you understand?”
I gulped and nodded.
He spit on the bracelet then picked up the dress and tore it in half. He glared at Miguel and stormed off, dust clouds puffing up behind him as he went.
I snatched up the pieces of the dress and wiped the bracelet off on my pants, then picked up the flowers and cradled them in my arms.
“I’d leave that stuff if I were you,” Miguel warned.
“Well, you’re not.” I glared at Miguel and pushed past him. “Put my horse away.”
He lifted his head to me and took Cariño’s reigns.
I rushed inside and straight to my room, then dropped everything on the bed. Evidence, as even Javier himself had pointed out, that Elijah loved me. But there was one thing I didn’t understand. Why the dress? We didn’t have plans to meet anywhere, and we couldn’t. It would have been impossible to meet. If I’d had any doubt before, my encounter with Javier proved that everything I did was being watched.
I inspected the bracelet, laying it across my wrist to see how it sparkled in the light. Tiny clear gemstones were linked with fine silver rings. I loved it; I’d admitted it even when I thought Javier had purchased it. But to know it was from Elijah made it so much more special. I spent a few moments admiring it before fastening the clasp of bracelet under my wrist. I decided I wouldn’t wear it outside the house, but while inside, I would wear it every second I could.
Lifting the pieces of the dress, I knew there would be no fixing it; Javier had torn it down the middle where there was no seam. But I could make something out of it. My first thought was lingerie. I thought of my night with Elijah, and my face warmed. But when I remembered it would never happen again, my excitement dissipated. I crumpled the dress into a ball, shoving it in the back of my underwear drawer.
The flowers weren’t too badly damaged, surprisingly. I threw out two roses that had been partially crushed and a few bruised petals here and there, but that was the worst of it. I stuck them in a mug of water I’d left on my dresser earlier that day and stood back to stare at them, thinking of Elijah’s hands touching them and wishing that his touch could somehow transfer through to me.
It was unbearable. In fact, I found myself avoiding being in bear form because th
e pull toward Elijah was even stronger then; my desire, even hungrier. At the thought of hunger, my stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten since before the fire, hours earlier. I wandered to the kitchen, where Isabella poured herself a cup of tea and turned to give me a sour look.
“What’s that for?” I asked.
“You’re welcome.”
“For?”
“Saving your ass.”
I drew my eyebrows together. “Okay?”
“Right before Javier showed up, a delivery boy brought all those gifts from Elijah.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Luckily, I grabbed this one before Javier saw it.” She shoved an envelope at me.
I looked at it and my heart skipped when I saw my name written in Elijah’s handwriting. “Thank you.”
Grabbing a few crackers, I returned to my room with the envelope and tore it open, pausing to take a deep breath. I held the envelope to my nose and could make out the faintest whiff of his scent. Inside was a short note and two tickets.
“Wear the bracelet. Wear the dress. But mostly importantly, come. Please.” The location, date, and time were listed below. It was signed, “All my love, Elijah.”
My throat burned as I read the tickets. They were to a play or musical of some sort. I didn’t recognize the name of it, but it didn’t matter.
I imagined sitting beside Elijah, my hands around his arm as we watched the show. Me, wearing the beautiful dress he’d given me, and him in a suit, looking amazing. Just like any normal couple out on a date. It was so unfair that we couldn’t have that. We couldn’t be a normal couple or any sort of couple at all, and the thought made the familiar anger rise in my chest once again.
I would never stop hating Javier. As if my father’s death wasn’t enough to make me loathe him, keeping me away from Elijah was downright cruel. Maybe I should leave Boquillas for good, I told myself. And never come back.