by Kaylee, Katy
“No, no, none of that baby,” Ted said. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “Open up those pretty lips and let me hear those noises.”
Holy shit. My throat got dry even as fresh heat and slick slid down my legs. I could feel every inch of him inside of me and it was like overloading circuits. I wanted so very badly to get my mouth on him, not now, but soon. He just felt so big and heavy inside of me and I wanted that in my mouth…
I hadn’t wanted Chad in my mouth. I hadn’t wanted to blow him, because I hadn’t wanted to touch him at all. When I had…well, it had been an easy way to shut him up and say I was performing my wifely duties. It had felt degrading and stupid to blow him. But I’d enjoyed sucking Ted’s dick back when we were teenagers and I wanted to do it again, to drive him crazy that way. With Ted it wouldn’t feel like servitude, it would feel like power.
Ted pressed me down against the desk and fucked me, careful but fierce, shifting as he tried to find the right spots—I was trying to be quiet, and at first it was easy, after so long practicing, but then - then his hand was rubbing at my clit and I made the mistake of glancing down and I could see his thick cock sliding in and out of my soaking wet cunt.
Oh-my-fuckin-god!
I moaned, and Ted pressed himself against me, rubbing his chest against my breasts, nipping at my neck. “God, yeah, that’s it baby, I want to hear you. How do I know if it’s good for you or not if I can’t hear you, hmm?”
My fingers slid through the damp hair on his head, wishing we were fully naked. I wanted to feel his sweat-slick skin underneath my hands. I wanted his mouth on my body, marking me up with gorgeous bruises. The very idea of it made me shiver and gasp again, this time louder.
Ted slowed down his thrusts but made them even deeper, dragging against my inner walls, and I whimpered helplessly. It felt so good, sparks flying up and down my bloodstream. “I want to watch you come this time,” he said. “You tasted so good when you came, now I want to see.”
He rubbed the underside of my clit and I cried out, my body seizing up as pleasure I hadn’t felt in years zinged through me. Ted chuckled and pressed his hand lightly over my mouth. “Love those noises, sweetheart, you make such pretty noises for me, but we can’t let anyone else hear.”
Ted was trying to be playful about it, but I saw the flicker of shame in his eyes. He still thought this was wrong. Even though he wanted it. But I had never felt more right about anything, had never felt more like I fit into my own skin. Comparing all that we were doing to my sex life with Chad, I might as well have been doing a whole different set of activities from how different it felt.
“Fuck me, harder,” I whispered. This felt so damn right and I didn’t want Ted to feel shame or feel like it was wrong. Or if it was wrong, it was wrong in a fun way, a way that sent a thrill up our spines.
Ted groaned, his hand still over my mouth, and began to speed up. He was fucking me hard and rough and oh, God, I really didn’t need to come again after that fantastic first orgasm but it was going to happen, I could feel it building…feel…oh… oh…
My body shook and jerked as I came, and I felt Ted stiffening inside of me. He thrust hard, once, twice more, and then I could feel him spilling inside of me, hot and deliciously dirty, adding to the mess sliding down my thighs.
I hadn’t come that hard in… years. My own hand and my vibrator did a fairly good job but it just wasn’t the same as being with another person and dear God. I was shaking.
Ted pulled away, his hand lifting off of my mouth. I was still making little whimpers but I was no longer crying out, and I was glad that nobody had come in to interrupt us. As hot as it was to think, in the middle of sex - having it actually happen would’ve been disastrous. They were called ‘fantasies’ for a reason, after all.
“Fuck,” Ted swore quietly, practically under his breath. He braced his hands on the edge of the desk, taking several deep breaths as he closed his eyes, like he couldn’t bear to even look around and see what we had done.
After a moment of silence, he bent down and grabbed my panties, handing them back to me. “We can’t… this can’t happen again,” he told me, helping me to sit up on the edge of the desk.
I slid my panties back on and began to adjust myself, making myself look presentable again, or as presentable as I could. “But…”
“I’ll send you on to another doctor, I’ll refer you to the best, you won’t have to wait months to see someone, I promise. I’ll take care of all of it. But we can’t…” Ted ran a hand through his hair. “We can’t go on like this, the risk is too great.”
“You don’t have to worry about me, I promise.” I couldn’t help but notice how Ted’s gaze trailed over my body as I continued to fix up my clothes. There was heat in that gaze, even now, as if he was ready to go again despite coming inside of me just a few moments before.
It made me shiver. I wanted him to fuck me all over again. I wanted to see the full scope of what he’d learned in the decade we’d been apart, all the little tricks he’d picked up to help bring me to ecstasy again and again. I wanted to get tangled up with him in bed and fuck him for hours, until I couldn’t even feel my legs.
Despite all the heat I saw in his face, though, I also saw concern and frustration. Ted was always one to beat himself up if he thought he was failing at something. I think… whether he wanted to admit it or not… it was part of why he hadn’t been really passionate about anything growing up. He had been scared of letting himself down and failing, scared of being the fuck up that he feared he was.
And now he thought that he had done something wrong, something that would damage both of us if I was found out.
I swallowed down my lust and focused on setting his mind at ease. “Ted, this doesn’t have to be anything. I don’t want a relationship. I just got out of that mess, and I honestly don’t know that I’ll ever be in a relationship with anyone ever again. Especially with the baby, you know? My child is my priority and I’m not going to complicate that by dating someone.
“You can’t deny that we’ve had something between us. I was dreaming about you every night, touching myself thinking about you… ” Ted made a strangled, desperate noise at this. “ and I knew I had to do something about it. I had to find out how it felt, I had to get this out of both of our systems.
“And now we have. We’ve done it, and it was good, and we’ve gotten it out. We’ve scratched the itch, we haven’t kept trying to ignore it, and now it’s dealt with. We can stop worrying about it. I’ll behave from now on, and you’ll stay on as my doctor, there’s no reason for us to switch me over and cause a big mess of paperwork.”
Ted frowned, doing up his own clothes and making himself look presentable once again. I could see that he was still conflicted, his jaw clenching and unclenching, his eyes slightly narrowed, searching mine. I could tell that he wasn’t fully convinced, and, well, I had just waltzed into his office with a lie about an urgent medical problem in order to seduce him. I could understand why he’d be a little suspicious about my intentions.
“I promise,” I told him. “I promise that I will keep my hands to myself. I know that you can choose not to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nobody will ever know what happened. I won’t tell a soul, and I know that you won’t either. It’ll be safe.”
Ted sighed, finished adjusting his tie, and at last nodded. “I have to think about things,” he told me. “I’ll - I’ll think about it, all of it. But.” He pointed sternly at me. “You can’t make any more urgent appointments unless it’s a real emergency.”
I was tempted to ask him if he wanted to spank me as punishment for my behavior, but I figured that would only either result in our fucking again, which we had just agreed not to do, or in Ted having even more of a breakdown than he already was over this whole thing.
Instead I just nodded. “I promise, doctor.”
Ted gave me a look that was equal parts amused and stern, then gestured for me to show myself out.
My body was still tingling with th
e haze of orgasm until I got home, when at last the glow began to fade, and I found myself replaying everything over and over in my mind. I sank down onto my couch, my legs splayed, and honestly considered touching myself.
What was wrong with me? I’d literally just had sex with the man and I was ready to touch myself, bring myself to another orgasm, thinking about him. Now that I knew what it felt like to fuck him as an adult, relying on recent touches instead of the distant past, it was all so much harder to ignore. I felt like I had gone from hungry to ravenous.
I had thought…if we fucked, just once, then it would get out of our systems. We would be fine. Itch scratched, time to move on. But instead I only wanted him more. Why hadn’t I coaxed him into another round in his office? There were still so many things we could do in there together, so many ways he could make me scream… him behind me, squeezing my breasts and pinching my nipples as he fucked me, his chest to my back, his weight pressing me down, his teeth fixed to the back of my shoulder…
Oh, God. I slid my hand between my legs and began to rub myself. In the privacy and safety of my cottage, I could be as loud as I wanted, moan his name as much as I pleased. I gasped and writhed, clutching at the couch, at my own hair, images of Ted flooding my mind until I gasped out his name in delirious pleasure.
As I lay there, gasping, I realized that I wasn’t sure if I could hold true to my word. I had promised him that I would keep my hands to myself, and I didn’t give out promises lightly. But oh, God, I wanted him so very badly. Badly enough that right after having sex with him, I had touched myself and brought myself to orgasm thinking about him all over again. There was a Shakespeare quote about that… about a woman who only made men hungrier for her the more they fed from her. Addicted them.
That was how I felt. Addicted. Now that I had a taste, I wanted more. I wanted to have him on me, under me, over me, in me, in every possible combination.
I wanted to drag him home forget about the rest of the world as we explored each other’s bodies until time ceased to exist or have meaning.
He drove me wild. He had as a teenager, of course, but I suppose part of that could be put down to teenage hormones. But not this. This was… this was completely different. This was more.
I knew he was right. We couldn’t do this. He was my doctor, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I didn’t want a relationship! I had just gotten out of one, and after all that Chad had put me through, how could I possibly make myself vulnerable like that again?
And after how I had dumped Ted all those years ago, after I had been so hurtful, how could he possibly really want to be with me, again? Sleeping with me was one thing, that wasn’t a relationship, that wasn’t really putting your full trust in someone.
And yet, despite all of my logic and all of my carefully laid plans…
I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to help myself.
11
Ted
It had been three days, and I still couldn’t get what had happened in my office out of my head.
Fridays were traditionally a shorter day for me, and I’d take off in the afternoon to play racquetball with my best friend David. David was the one in college who’d dragged me to the therapist despite my protests, and I owed him a lot. He’d been nothing but supportive of me this whole time.
And I was currently repaying him by having my head in the clouds over Veronica.
Every night since we’d hooked up in my office had been torture. I was haunted by the smell of her hair, the taste of her skin, the way that she sounded. If it had been bad before, relying on memories from a decade ago, now it was even worse. I couldn’t even describe the exquisite hell of it all. I felt like a drug addict who needed a fix.
Goddammit. Maybe it was enough for Roni - Veronica - dammit, already I was starting to think about her in terms of her nickname. Like some goddamn sap who couldn’t let go of the past.
Roni had been what I’d always called her. I’d been the only one allowed to call her that, in fact I was pretty sure I was the only one who would dare even think to call her that. Veronica was a name that suggested class and elegance, which was most likely what her parents had intended when they’d named her. Roni was too… low class, too casual, it sounded juvenile, or so Veronica had always told me.
But I’d called her that anyway, because around me she’d let herself be casual and young, carefree, and she’d loved it when I’d said that name. It was our little thing, one of our little secrets, the way that all couples had those tiny in jokes and secrets and pet names that added up to become a life together.
Anyway. The fact that I was thinking about her like that again was a clear sign that I was in too deep. Fucking hell.
Maybe just the once was enough for Veronica. Maybe that was all that she needed. But it sure as hell wasn’t enough for me. Then again, she’d been the one to break up with me all those years ago. She’d moved on. I’d been the one left standing there heartbroken, my life shattered. I’d been the one to pay the price.
This was just scratching the itch once for her. But for me, that itch went down – down so deep, that I wasn’t sure, now, if I would ever truly be rid of it.
Took a hell of a woman to stay with a man for ten years afterwards, I’d give her that much.
“You’re playing like shit,” David said as I missed another serve.
I grimaced. “Yeah, y’know how it is.”
“No, I don’t know how it is,” David responded, fetching the ball and serving it to me again. “You don’t ever play like shit. You’ve been kicking my ass at this for how many years now?”
David was the opposite of me in every way, including physically. He had dark hair, dark eyes, and skin the color of oak, with a much more serious disposition than I had. I was relaxed and smiling, while David was focused and quiet. He worked as a surgeon at a nearby hospital, which was a lot more fast-paced than what I did. We’d gone to medical school together after college and had been supporting and propping each other up ever since.
He was like me in one way, though: he’d had his heart broken same as mine had been. Only while I had spent my time dating woman after woman, David had just gotten quieter and more withdrawn, putting on a remote demeanor, keeping women at arm’s length.
“C’mon.” David set his racquet down. “Tell me what’s up, I know it’s something.”
I sighed. “I’m that obvious, huh?”
“You’re playing that shit, that’s what.”
I grabbed my water bottle and passed David his. “Do you remember how I said that a girl broke my heart in high school?”
“Yeah, I remember.” I had never given David details, but I’d also never asked him for details about his own heartbreak. It just wasn’t something either of us had been willing to talk about. We’d had a silent understanding of one another’s pain and that had been good enough for both of us.
“Well, she came back into my life again. She’s a patient at my clinic.”
David’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, did she now?”
I nodded. “She’s recently divorced. She won’t give me the details but it wasn’t good, from what I can tell. She’s sworn off relationships and she’s focusing on rebuilding her life, having a kid instead of waiting around for the perfect guy after putting up with a crap one. And she’s… she’s changed, since high school. The good stuff that was there before, it’s all still there. But the obsession with how she presents herself, the letting people walk all over her when it comes to status, the snobbish parts of her, that’s all gone, or at least as far as I can tell it’s all gone y’know?”
“So she’s even more perfect than before and you’re tempted as hell,” David concluded.
“Basically. I’m fucking screwed, man, I don’t know how I can keep myself objective about this. She’s gorgeous, absolutely. And her personality… we were making each other crack up last week.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Ted,” David said. “And you know it, I know you’re not stupid
. You know what you’re doing.”
I did know. I nodded.
“You could lose everything you worked so damn hard for. You and I, we came from nothing. We had the odds stacked against us from the start. And we made it. We’re successful, we’re home free, and I know that you don’t want to give all of that up. So be careful.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Refer her to another doctor.”
“But then I wouldn’t see her again. I think that’s the problem - I know it would be the right thing to refer her to someone else, but then I wouldn’t be able to see her.”
“Says who?” David took a long drink from his water bottle and then laughed. “Nobody’s saying that you can’t keep seeing her personally once you stop seeing her professionally. Stop treating her and then ask her out on a proper date.”
“No, no way.”
“Why not?” David folded his arms at me and raised an eyebrow. “What’s stopping you? The worst she can say is no and it’s not like you can be with her if she’s still your patient. At least this way you have a chance to be with her, and it won’t ruin your damn career if people find out about it.”
“We were together over a decade ago, I should be letting this go, not diving deeper into the rabbit hole.”
“Ted, seriously? The entire time we were in college you were moaning and moping about the one girl who got away. You were practically mooning over her and she wasn’t even there!”
I could feel my face and neck heating up with embarrassment and held up a hand. “Whoa, whoa, no, I was not mooning over anyone.”
“Mmm, you sure about that?” David raised an eyebrow. “You barely paid attention to the very eligible and extremely attractive women we met there. We’d go to parties and they’d be flinging themselves at you and you just didn’t notice. You didn’t even start going on dates until senior year, man.”
“Hey, I needed time to adjust and I was focusing on my studies, I had to do well to get into a good medical school.”