by Kaylee, Katy
If that didn’t sum up my entire upbringing, nothing could.
I quickly yanked my arm out of Chad’s grip. “I’m not getting into this here. I’ve said all that I need to say. If you need a reminder, you can look it up in the court documents from our divorce. It’s all in there.”
Chad looked like he was about to start raising his voice, his face going red. That had always been what would get me to comply with him when we were married. He would threaten to start a scene, and I had been raised to never start a scene, ever. I had been raised to always be polite. Causing public embarrassment was his weapon against me, and he knew it. I’d always backed down.
This time, I didn’t know what to do. Did I back down, since I truly didn’t want a fight or to ruin things for Layla? Or should I stand up to him since he was literally bullying me and he had started all of this, and hopefully gain some sympathy?
Before I could decide, someone else got in between us. I recognized the person - Preston Andrews.
He was a lawyer, and a friend of Chad’s. He had always been very friendly to me when we had met at parties or he had come over to the house.
“Whoa, whoa, Chad, man, c’mon.” Preston gave him a winning smile. I had never seen Preston in court doing his thing, but I could easily imagine that this was the sort of smile he gave to the jury to sway them into his line of thinking. “Let’s take a quick walk outside, huh? Cool off a little, take some deep breaths?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Chad growled. “This is none of your business, Preston, shove off.”
“I’m afraid that it’s always my business when a man is harassing a defenseless woman,” Preston replied. “This is a lovely party, we’re doing a lot of good for charity here, let’s remember that’s the focus. Raising money for the kids. I’m sure your father will want this remembered when it comes time for re-election - unless you don’t behave yourself in which case he’ll probably want this as forgettable as possible.”
Chad glared at Preston. Chad’s father would bring the hammer down for sure if he learned that Chad had made a spectacle of himself at the charity party, and over me, especially. Aside from the governor’s public soft spot for me, he’d lectured Chad plenty in private over his treatment of me. Chad had never exactly measured up to his father’s hopes for him, and when I had finally quit and said enough, that had been the straw that broke the camel’s back in regards to his father’s respect for him.
Preston was taking a real chance in bringing up the father angle. Chad could just find a way to retaliate at Preston for it, his pride wounded. Or he could give in, not wanting to risk his father’s wrath.
For a few tense seconds, nothing happened. I could feel everyone’s eyes still on us and I just wanted to sink into the floor and die.
Then Chad let out his breath and stepped back, dipping his head down, nodding. “Yeah. I’ll just…”
He cleared his throat, then turned and walked directly through the crowd, out through the doors into the lobby and presumably out onto the street.
I took a deep, shaky breath. People were muttering to one another but starting to drift away. Crisis averted. It wasn’t what I’d hoped for when I had come here - which was no gossip-worthy happenings whatsoever - but I’d take it. It was better than the yelling match that Chad had been gearing up for.
Preston turned to me and I thought my knees might give out with relief. “Thank you so much.”
Preston gave me a smile, this one was a little different from the one that he’d given Chad, but suddenly, I felt a chill go down my spine - and not a good one. “Of course. I’m happy to help. Hey, maybe you could repay me by grabbing a coffee with me.”
…repay. I didn’t like that word. I hadn’t asked him for help, or to step in. He had chosen to do that on his own. Just like I didn’t owe Chad anything, I didn’t owe Preston anything, either. His white knight routine was on him and if he truly cared about helping women then he would do it without expecting thanks or payment, even payment in the form of time spent together.
This was what made me reluctant to trust men. Reluctant to start a new relationship. Not just the scars that Chad had left on my heart, but the fear of these so-called ‘nice men’, these men who would do things for women and expect a date or something in return, like women were vending machines where if you put enough kind actions in you would get sex in return.
“I’m… I’m kind of busy moving right now,” I replied. “I’m not sure when I’ll be available…”
“Oh, it wouldn’t take long,” Preston replied. He gave me another smile, this one warm, and I sensed that it was supposed to reassure me. Ironically enough I had Chad to thank for realizing how he was trying to manipulate me. These were the same basic tricks that Chad had always used on me.
“I’m not sure…”
Preston took my arm, leading me away from the buffet table and into the crowd, trapping me. I swallowed and kept my cool, even as my heart pounded. I supposed if nothing else, I was good at maintaining my poise and hiding my emotions. “It’s the least you can do for a friend helping you, and besides, I’d love to catch up with you. I think it’s been far too long since we talked.” He winked at me. “I’m just going to keep asking until you say yes.”
Oh, God, and he probably had no idea how much of a threat that sounded to me, to any woman. But I wasn’t in the mood to fight him. I’d just avoided one argument, I wasn’t about to get into another. I’d go out for coffee with him, and it would be short and sweet, and that would be that.
I forced a smile onto my face. “All right then.” I gave a little laugh, one that felt like it was scraping up my throat. I couldn’t help but remember how easily and loudly I had laughed with Ted, and compare the two.
I wished that he was here now.
“Great, I’ll let you know when. I have your number still, I believe.”
“Yes, I think you do.” I had wanted to get around to changing it so that Chad couldn’t call me but I hadn’t had the time. I would have to get on that once this coffee date was finished. That way Chad and Preston both couldn’t get a hold of me.
Preston neatly deposited me at the group where Layla was. “I’ll be seeing you,” he told me, his voice just low enough and his mouth just close enough to my ear to make it a bit intimate.
I kept my smile on my face until he turned and left and I could grab Layla.
“I’m so sorry for inviting you,” Layla whispered, making her excuses and dragging me away from the group. “I had no idea that Chad would be here or I wouldn’t have asked you to come with me!”
“Whoa, hey, it’s not your fault,” I assured her. “You can’t control Chad and besides, I was bound to see him around town at some point. It’s a small community.”
“Too small,” Layla muttered. “I understand if you want to leave…”
I shook my head and said, with bravery that I didn’t really feel, “I’m not going to be chased off by the likes of Chad Seaworth.”
Even as I said it though, I couldn’t help but feel that I had somehow, without even meaning to, leapt from the frying pan into the fire.
13
Ted
It had been nearly a week - five days to be exact - since my talk over racquetball with David.
What had seemed so simple while talking with him now seemed ludicrous all over again. Veronica couldn’t possibly want to be with me. She had said it herself, that this was just scratching an itch. This was just a one-time thing for her.
How could I even hope to persuade her otherwise when she had been the one to dump me all those years ago without a second thought? Sure, she seemed to have changed. But that didn’t mean that her feelings for me - towards me - had changed. Was I just getting my hopes up for nothing? Just letting myself build up this impossible dream only to have my heart dashed all over again?
Dammit, I hadn’t been this nervous about anything since my graduating exams in med school. Maybe not even then. After all, you could always go back and st
udy over again for your exams and take them a second time. Hell, you could theoretically take them as many times as you wanted. But you couldn’t convince someone to love you if they didn’t. You couldn’t keep pestering them to date you when they had said no. It was thoughtless and selfish.
Pull it together, man. I wouldn’t know until I tried, right? And I would have an answer either way and could start to properly move on. But how to bring up the subject? How to approach it?
I had an appointment with her today. I spent all morning trying to think of a way to naturally and casually bring up the subject of dating, without making her bolt. Veronica had a bad marriage, I didn’t know details, but I knew enough from her to know that she wasn’t going to easily talk about relationships. I had to find a way to bring it all up without upsetting her so that I could then casually suggest the idea that I pass her along to another doctor and free us both up to date.
Actually getting together the first time, in high school, had been easier than this. You’d think it would be the other way around, given how awkward everyone is in high school. And the alcohol and the party atmosphere had definitely helped that first time around.
I gave myself a quick pep talk in the mirror before I stepped into the examination room to see her. I could handle this. I was a grown-ass man, for crying out loud. I would bring up the subject and ask if she would be open to the idea. I would tell her that just once wasn’t enough for me, that I still craved her, that it had all, in fact, gotten worse since I had slept with her. That I wanted her even more than I had before.
And then I just had to trust that she felt the same way. That I could persuade her to open up her heart to me, despite how she had been hurt before.
Because as much as I was reluctant to admit it, David was right: I had never gotten over Veronica, not really. And now that the physical was back into play, now that I had gotten a proper taste of her once, it was compounding the emotions that I had still held for her all this time and making me a proper goddamn mess.
I took a deep breath, straightened out my shirt, and walked into the examination room.
Veronica was sitting there, running her fingers through her hair as she waited for me. My throat went dry. I wanted to reach out and catch her fingers with mine, run my hand through her hair instead, tug on it the way that she liked - she was such a sucker for having her hair pulled and I used to use it to ruthless advantage when we were in high school.
“Have you picked a donor?” I asked, trying to keep to professional subjects.
“Not yet,” Veronica replied. “But I’ve made a list of qualities I’d like and I’m going to get that consultation where they compile a short list for you based on your requirements. I think that’ll help me, to choose between only about a dozen donors instead of two hundred.”
“I agree.” I kept my distance from her, even as my body ached to draw closer. It was like I was dying and sick and she was the only cure. “So, let’s go over how the insemination process will work. I’ve found that a dry run helps my patients to feel more comfortable when the time comes for the actual procedure.”
I had done this walkthrough hundreds of times - almost every day, in fact. No matter how prepared a person thought they were, when the time came there was a bit of nerves to get through, and knowing firsthand how it would all go (as much as it was possible to know ahead of time) helped to make that nervous time shorter and smaller. I didn’t want a patient to lose a chance at the child they wanted because they’d had a moment of panic that they couldn’t get over.
But now I found myself stumbling a little. I could do this in my sleep, or so I’d thought, but now it was taking everything in me to concentrate. Veronica’s curves were right underneath the thin gown she was wearing, nothing but a bit of paper between her and my hands, my mouth.
“Lie back,” I instructed, trying to keep my distance both literally and figuratively. “You’ll be given a mild sedative. Most of our patients don’t go to sleep but just sort of check out. They tend to report that the procedure feels like it’s over in seconds when usually it takes us about half an hour.” I chuckled. “I’ve had several patients ask me if I’d started when I was actually just finishing up.”
“The one time that it’s okay to ask the guy if he’s inside you yet,” Veronica joked.
I laughed. “Exactly.” I braced my hand on the exam table and realized that my fingers were shaking slightly. This close, I could feel the warmth radiating off of her. I felt like a moth being drawn to her flame.
“Ro - Veronica,” I said, catching myself just in time before I said her nickname, “are you sure that you wouldn’t want to see another doctor?”
She looked up at me and smiled…this warm, welcoming, but slightly naughty smile, just a teasing hint of what she was thinking about. “Why would I want to do that?”
Because I’m going to ravish you, I thought, right as my self-control snapped and I pulled her to me, kissing her.
Veronica moaned into my mouth, opening up for me at once, our tongues sliding together. It was zero to sixty and I felt dizzy, drowning. Her curves were under my hands, against my body, in seconds. Yes. Fuck yes.
I wanted to make sure that she felt good, that she was enjoying this, but I also didn’t have time to be patient. This was so wrong, and I could already feel that guilt sliding through my veins but it wasn’t enough to stop me. In fact… to my shame… it was almost hotter. Sexier. More intense. Because it was so taboo.
I mean we were in the examination room for crying out loud and yet, here I was, ready to fuck her and getting a bit of a thrill out of it, out of how wrong it was.
Veronica gasped as I shoved up the thin paper gown and slid my fingers between her thighs, finding her hot and wet already for me, like she’d been dreaming about this. Maybe she had, maybe she’d been thinking about this just as much as I had been, maybe…
My fingers worked against her swollen clit, sliding in and out of her slick pussy. God she was already so ready for me. I couldn’t wait any longer and Veronica didn’t seem to want me to, yanking at my slacks until she had my cock hard and hot in her hand.
“Inside me,” she begged. “Please…”
Even if I had been unsure about wanting this, I could never have denied her when she spoke like that. I kissed Veronica hard and began to slide inside of her. Someone, anyone, could come along, a patient or one of my nurses, and just open up the door and find us, find me fucking her fast and hard like I wanted to keep her from walking the next day.
It shamed me, but it was also… so very hot. A new surge of lust shot through me and I fucked into her all the way, making Veronica bite my lip as she kissed me.
“You want me to fuck you?” I whispered.
“Yes,” Veronica moaned.
“Then hold on, baby.”
14
Veronica
We had never fucked like this as teenagers.
Of course, as teenagers, we had still been learning how all of this went. We had been careful and slow with each other, intense, and sometimes rough but not like this. Nothing like this at all.
Ted was fucking into me with rough abandon that had me biting onto his shoulder to stifle my screams. Oh, God, it felt so hot and intense, so good…s-so good… oh, oh, oh…
I clawed at his back and Ted sped up even more, losing his rhythm a bit, his hips stuttering. I could feel that he was close and the idea that he was about to paint me with his come again, claiming me as his, had me shuddering and I tasted blood as I bit down even harder on his shoulder and came.
Ted didn’t even pause, his breath harsh in my ear. Harder, harder, harder, extending my orgasm, making me feel almost electrocuted, until he came in hot ropes inside me.
God yes, that’s exactly what I wanted. I fell back against the examination table, feeling bruised and worked over, but not used. No. Chad had always made me feel used but Ted… Ted never did. This was something we did together.
I idly thumbed the bite mark on his sh
oulder, feeling sort of bad for it but also feeling viciously proud. That was my mark on him. Proof of what we’d done.
Ted recovered before I did and went over to get us some tissues. He helped me to clean up, his hands moving tenderly and surely over my skin, his thumbs rubbing slow, soothing circles as he worked. He pushed my hair back out of my face, his fingers tracing the curve of my ear, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at me was so soft, I felt like something inside of me was breaking and crumbling to pieces.
I felt like I could hardly breathe. I would’ve preferred it, almost, if he had just gotten up and zipped his pants and called it a day. I knew that was the opposite of what most people wanted, when there was a strong connection like ours. Most people would be excited to see their partner being so tender, so thoughtful.
But I… I was feeling so many things and I just couldn’t…
It scared me, how open I felt, how vulnerable, how filled… and how safe, at the same time. I felt completely naked, and not just literally, and yet I also felt cared for and protected.
It had been so long since I had felt that way. In fact the last time I’d felt that way had been with Ted, back in high school.
Something, a sob perhaps, welled up in my throat and I had to shove it back down, nearly choking. The room felt too small, and I felt too big, overflowing. It was like I was standing on the beach, my feet stuck in the sand, as a huge tidal wave bore down on me. All I could do was stand there and watch it coming, knowing that it was going to sweep me away and drown me.
The scariest part was - I wanted it to happen. I wanted to drown.
“Clearly we have to do something,” Ted said. “This chemistry between us isn’t going away. It isn’t just a… an itch that needs scratching, it’s deeper than that. If anything, every time that I’m with you it only gets stronger.