by Kaylee, Katy
What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to feel? It was all jumbled up inside of me.
The only thing that I knew for certain was how much I wanted him. How safe I felt with him. He called me Roni, that old nickname, and it felt like my heart was going to jump right out of my chest. I would’ve smacked anyone else who called me that, but not Ted. Anyone else… would’ve made it sound like something smug in their mouths. This little way of teasing me, oh, give fancy Veronica DeMarcus the geeky sounding nickname. It was a way to claim a superiority and an intimacy with me that most people didn’t have or deserve.
But with Ted, he’d always made it sound playful. Loving. A little secret, just the two of us.
To hear him calling me that again the other day had terrified me in how much I had enjoyed it. It had signaled to me how close we were becoming again and that had scared me.
But now I wanted to hear it all the time. It was like a lifeline. Another sign that I truly was forgiven for how I’d treated him, and that he really was still there for me.
Maybe I should… stop thinking for two seconds. Stop worrying about what was right and what was wrong. Maybe I should just give in to how I felt about him the way I hadn’t all those years ago.
Slowly, giving him time to back away, I leaned in and pressed my lips to his.
Ted sagged a little, like he had been waiting for this, and then he brought his arms around me. He didn’t deepen the kiss, the way that I expected. Instead he kissed sensually all over my face, along my neck, over and over, as I slowly melted.
“Ted… you…”
“Shh,” he replied. “Let me worship you, hmm?” His hands slid up my body, underneath my shirt, then back down to take handfuls of my ass and slowly grind me against him. I could feel him getting hard, and I whimpered. “That’s it. Relax, darling, I’m going to take care of you.”
I believed him. It was Ted, and he had always taken care of me. And oh, each kiss was slow and deep, sucking at my skin, until I felt like an entire puddle of goo. I could feel heat spreading through me and I opened my legs, grinding against Ted, feeling the bulge where his cock was getting hard in his pants. I slid my hand down, flicking open his jeans and sliding inside, palming his cock.
Ted groaned, lightly biting at my neck. He was so hard and thick, and I shivered, knowing what that felt like inside of me, wanting more of it.
Ted suddenly got his hands on his hips and whirled me around, pressing my back to his chest. I moaned in surprise and he chuckled. His hands were sliding up underneath my skirt, rubbing at my underwear, and his mouth was pressing a slow path down my neck. “Bend over the couch, baby.”
Fresh heat shot through me and I could feel myself getting almost unbearably wet. Ted growled, pleased, and I knew that he could feel it happening to me, feel how he was turning me on.
His finger rubbed up and down, teasing, as he bent over me, his chest still pressed against me, a warm weight on top of me.
“I can’t wait to get you into a proper bed,” he whispered. “And put my mouth on every inch of your body.”
It was tempting to take his hand and lead him upstairs to the bedroom, to do as he said, but I was also enjoying this, the feeling of his body over me, on top of me, pressed against me. It helped me feel safe and cared for, protected.
And it was the perfect position for his hand to keep working between my legs. I felt so wet, it was starting to slide down between my legs, and my body was clenching, wanting to be filled, stretched, fucked. Not to mention… like this, he could fuck me from behind and get that much deeper inside of me.
Ted was completely in control like this. I could only brace myself as he worked his fingers into me, as he kept kissing me everywhere he could reach while I heard him undoing his pants. I couldn’t reach behind him to stroke his cock, I couldn’t do anything he didn’t want me to. With anyone else - with Chad - that might have made me panic but with Ted, it was just, well, Ted. I trusted him. And he was making me feel so damn good.
“You ready?” He asked, his fingers sliding out of me.
“Yes,” I promised.
As he slid into me, deep and steady, his cock throbbing and getting so far into me it felt like it was hitting the back of my throat, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d said yes to more than just the sex.
At least, in my heart.
19
Ted
Sliding into Roni was like… it was like coming home. I knew that felt ridiculous and overly romantic but that was how it felt. Like I should always be with her, should always have been with her. I had to take a few shaky breaths as I tried to adjust to being inside of her. She was so tight and hot, especially in this position with my hips completely flush against her.
I was deep in her like this, and I could fuck her hard and rough like we had in the examination room, but after all that she had told me, I didn’t want that. I wanted something slower. More intimate. Not that our sex before hadn’t been intimate but… this was… more. Different.
Roni whimpered as I slid out of her, almost completely, just the head of my cock still inside of her, and then slid back in all the way to the hilt. She moaned, long and loud. “That’s right,” I encouraged. “I want to hear you. Tell me if you want me to do something, baby, tell me what’s good for you.” I never wanted her to be left wanting. I wanted her to feel good no matter what.
“You’re… this is good, this is… just like this, hold me, hold me please, this is… perfect,” she gasped out, her voice rough with pleasure.
She wanted to be held? I could do that. Hell, I was more than happy to do that. I kept my arm firmly around her, my fingers rubbing at her clit as I fucked into her, slow and steady, keeping myself in her, not pulling out all the way, not once. I wanted to stay inside of her. Feel us together, joined, as one.
Even if Roni wasn’t always ready to jump in with both feet when it came to… us… that was okay. In this, at least, we were in sync.
I kissed along her neck, the top of her spine, over and over, working myself into her in these slow thrusts. It was good, so good, I could… I had to…
“Babe - Roni, I’m not… ”
“It’s okay,” she gasped, “I’m, I’m close, and I… come for me, please, please…”
I shoved myself into her, the tight, slick heat of her, orgasm sliding through me like alcohol, burning, sweet fire, and I felt Roni coming around me, her orgasm triggered by mine, and that was so goddamn hot I could barely stand it. I was filling her up with my come, marking her, and that was making her orgasm. I couldn’t think of anything sexier, and I lost myself in the heat of it until we collapsed onto the couch together.
“Congratulations on the comfy couch,” I told her, holding her close. Like I’d held her as we’d fucked.
Roni chuckled, and for a moment, silence fell. I couldn’t see her face, didn’t know what she was thinking. I was just glad that her couch was big enough to for the two of us to lie on it together, me holding her, still back to chest.
I kissed her temple. “Penny for your thoughts,” I whispered. Because maybe I was crazy but… the way that we’d fucked, the way that Roni had asked for me to hold her, the way that she’d wanted us connected, the way that she’d come because I had, inside her… that… meant something, didn’t it?
Or was I just being too hopeful?
Roni rolled over, her eyes sharp and piercing. “I’m willing to give this a chance,” she whispered. “Between us.”
I could feel my heart soaring, but I could also hear a ‘but’ coming from her - a caveat.
“But I want us to take things slow.” Roni looked nervous, like I might somehow object to this. As if I could possibly object to that after all that I knew she’d gone through. “I… I know it’s stupid of me to be scared. I trust you, it’s not that I don’t, and so I don’t know why it is that I’m still so afraid to rush into things. But I was a part of a couple for so long, and I want to… I want to still preserve myself.”
“It
’s not stupid,” I promised her. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and then gently pulled her in, kissing her softly. Veronica practically melted against me. “It’s not stupid at all. And we can go as fast or as slow as you want. I don’t have a timer on this. I… you remember the first time that we had sex?”
Veronica blushed. “How could I forget?”
“You were always apologizing to me about wanting to take things slow. I never pushed you then, and when we did have sex, it was worth the wait. Because you were completely comfortable and you wanted it. It wouldn’t have been good if you’d been holding back, or resentful, or feeling pressured. This might be a bit… reversed, you might want to take things slow emotionally and not physically this time, sure, but it’s the same principle. I don’t want you to be rushed into anything, because that’ll just hurt us both. I’ll never rush you. I promise.”
Veronica looked so beyond grateful that my heart fucking broke for her. Had she really been subjected to such shit that she thought something as simple as this common decency, this basic respect for her emotional needs, was such a huge deal?
I wanted to strangle Chad so much more now, and Veronica’s parents on top of it for pressuring her into being with Chad, into being that perfect society wife who did as she was expected and never actually did anything for herself.
Veronica seemed to sense my frustration, because she pulled away a bit, frowning. “I…”
I shook my head. “You’re perfect.”
I didn’t quite mean - it just slipped out, and Veronica flushed, a small, bashful smile appearing.
She used to laugh and smile so easily, to accept my compliments with pleasure but without question. I wanted her to get back to that level of confidence. I wanted her to hear me say something like you’re perfect and laugh and accept that to me, she was. This bashful look, this lurking fear in her eyes that it wasn’t really true… that hurt me, like a stab to the chest. She deserved so much more than that. She deserved to think better of herself.
“What I mean,” I said, “is that I’m not upset at you. Not at all.” I paused, feeling that rage still roiling within me. “That one asshole—I’m going to sound dramatic here, I know. But I hate him. I’m going to punish him for what he did to you. I promise.”
Veronica curled into me, kissing my neck. “I don’t need you to get revenge for me. As much as the idea… it’s a fun one. And I’m not going to say no if you want to find a way to teach him a lesson that won’t end up with you getting thrown into jail. I kind of like you out here with me.”
“Oh, you sure? I think I’d look good in orange.”
She laughed. That was the Roni I knew. She was still in there, she just had to be coaxed out and encouraged. “Well, I will say this. I already know that you’re a better man than Chad. You were a better man when you were in high school, even.”
“Okay, hey, let’s not give me too much credit, you remember the time I graffitied the basketball court.”
Veronica laughed again. “Well if nothing else, you’re far better looking.” She winked at me and then kissed my jaw.
“Mmm, yes, I get by in life on my good looks, like any good potential trophy husband.”
“Oh my God.” Veronica’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “That actually reminds me, did you know - Chad’s been using prescription pills to manage his hair loss for years.”
“He’s losing his hair!?”
“Oh yeah, since he was about twenty-eight. It drives him nuts, he’s so sensitive about it.”
I patted my hair. “Shh, don’t talk about it too much, you’ll scare them!”
Veronica playfully smacked me on the chest. “You are so ridiculous.” She was grinning widely, though, all of her frustrations apparently forgotten.
“Speak for yourself.” I slid my fingers over her ribs to test if she was still ticklish there.
Veronica shrieked in surprise, giggling and shoving my hands away. “Oh my God, you’re the worst.”
I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
Veronica kept giggling. “You want to know something awful?”
“I don’t think there’s anything you could tell me that would really be that awful.”
“Chad was always so paranoid about how he looked, and his hair, and so whenever I was angry with him, I would imagine him bald.”
Veronica descended into laughter. It warmed my heart to see her so carefree, able to laugh about something and someone who had given her such pain.
And a little idea was beginning to form in my mind.
“Well, you won’t ever have to worry about that. I might lack a few things but a fabulous head of hair is not one of them.”
Veronica grinned at me. “You definitely have that,” she said. “And a lot of other things, too,” she added, her voice taking on a purr at the edges.
I pulled her into me and kissed her, and I was glad to say that neither of us thought any more about Chad for quite some time after that.
20
Veronica
It had been two weeks, and I was… well, I was getting that giddy feeling that you were supposed to feel when you were with someone. I had forgotten that it could feel like this, that it was supposed to feel like this, the excitement and appreciation and just, the joy of being with that person. At times I was wondering why I had been so afraid.
Ted was completely understanding about our going slow. He never pushed for anything more than I wanted to give. If I said I couldn’t handle doing something, then he said it was okay, and he really would mean it. It would be okay. He never came over to my house after that first night, and I never went over to his. We got me a new doctor and I didn’t go up to the clinic anymore, even though I could’ve met him there for lunch if I wanted, I didn’t want his coworkers noticing us as a couple. I didn’t tell anyone I was dating, I didn’t call him my boyfriend, and he did the same on his end.
We were careful not to talk about the future. Ted knew that, of course, I planned to have a baby and that was my set plan for the time being. I had narrowed down a list of a dozen potential sperm donors, although I still had to pick one of them. But Ted never brought up any ideas of my moving in with him, never suggested any dates or events that were too far into the future. He seemed ready for me to call this off at any moment, and okay with it if I did. I felt like I was in complete control of the relationship.
It was exactly what I needed.
And I had honestly forgotten how much fun it was to spend time with Ted. In high school we’d always had fun and he’d always made me laugh, but now I was rediscovering just how much.
We’d been going on dates the last couple of weeks - real dates, nothing like what we’d been on in high school. Not that we were going out to boring fancy restaurants all the time, which was all I had ever done with Chad. That is, back in the beginning of our relationship when Chad had bothered to wine and dine me, still. The last few years he couldn’t even be bothered with that charade.
There was nothing wrong with a nice restaurant date now and again. I loved trying new places. But when it was all that you ever did… it got boring! Just sitting there and talking about your days and about work, ugh. I wanted to actually do things with someone, actually make memories.
And that was what Ted and I were doing. In high school, we hadn’t really had money. Well, I’d had money, but I had been careful not to use it too much around Ted. He was a proud person who wanted to take care of his date, and I appreciated that. So I used it for little things like the two of us going to the movies. And he’d paid for things when he could, like the pizza the night we first made love.
Now, we both had money, and we were grown ass adults who could do whatever we wanted. We did the touristy things that you always forget to do when you live in a city, like historic carriage tour and the haunted locations tour, and got to see parts of the city and learn things that I hadn’t known, even though I’d grown up here. We went to the Magnolia Plantation and Gardens and ended up playing hide-and-s
eek in the trees like we were kids again.
Ted took me on a day trip, and we went ziplining, and we went to the Nathanial Russell House Museum and nearly got thrown out when Ted and I goaded each other into trying to slide down the massive spiral staircase. We went dancing at The Commodore, a jazz club that was the reborn version of A Touch of Class, a popular jazz club that had sadly closed its doors a while ago. I hadn’t danced that freely in ages, just doing the practiced dances at charity balls and such, and Ted was an excellent lead. We tried an escape room that was themed around America’s first female serial killer, Lavinia Fisher, which was terrifying and fun and way harder to escape than I’d thought.
We toured cemeteries, did an impromptu photoshoot at Angel Oak, and attended street fairs and farmer’s markets. And we did do the more typical things like watching a movie, or just strolling down to the beach. But even those more ‘basic’ things were just such fun with Ted. Everything was exciting and stimulating with him. He was witty, smart, and considerate. He opened doors for me and held out his arm for me when we went walking - typical gentlemanly gestures that I had grown bored with, or even annoyed by, when other men did them to me.
But when Ted did them, I saw him do them not just for me, but for everyone. And he was considerate not just in those typical ways, but in unexpected ways as well. He offered his jacket when I was cold, remembered that I hated blueberries, never complained when I wanted to spend ten minutes getting the perfect picture of the sunset, and actively listened when I talked instead of just pretending to listen and spending his time figuring out what he was going to say when it was ‘his turn’ to speak.
Chad had done that all the time. After a while I’d just stopped talking because what was even the point?
I felt like I had been walking on sunshine these past two weeks, after so long in the dark. I wasn’t letting myself think too much about where this was going, because I knew that way lay madness, but I was still just so… so…