by Susan Gable
Lexie smiled, hoping the quivering of her lips wasn't obvious. The moment was the culmination of his dream. David Mitchell's little girl loved him.
That was how it should be.
Lexie's stomach lurched, and she was pretty sure it wasn't because of Mrs. Casterlin's potato salad. Why did she feel so miserable? Like she'd lost something? Sarah still loved her as well.
"Lexie? Are you okay?" David held Sarah in his arms, the little one's head slumped against his shoulder, knocking the parrot sideways. Her eyelids drooped. Too much excitement had worn her out.
"Actually, I'm not feeling that well. And it looks like Sarah's ready for bed. Would you mind if we went home?"
Kegan sidled next to her and clamped his fingers along her wrist, glancing at his watch.
She yanked her hand back. "Not like that, Kegan. I'm just a little under the weather, that's all. Probably something I ate."
"You didn't eat the potato salad, did ya, Missy?"
"Maybe you should let him check you out, Lex. I heard about what happened while Sarah and I were on our shopping trip." David readjusted his grip on the child.
Lexie glared at Kegan, who held up his hands in mock surrender.
"Don't look at me. I respect doctor-patient confidentiality. Talk to him." Kegan jerked his head in Pappy's direction.
The old man had the good grace to look sheepish. "Now, Missy, don't get your knickers in a knot. I was jest worried about you. Plum forgot he didn't know."
David studied Lexie carefully. Her color had faded some, but she didn't appear ill. Had Sarah's declaration of love for him upset her?
He tightened his arm around his daughter, her warmth perfect against his chest. "I'm game to go home and get out of this costume."
"Great. Let's go."
As Lexie came closer, he snagged her around the waist with his free hand. "Just one thing. I was really hoping for a slow dance with you tonight, so you have to promise me one at home," he whispered. "After I get this makeup off my face so I don't get it all over you when I kiss you."
She didn't answer him as he ushered his family toward the pile of coats on the table near the doorway.
His family.
God, that felt so right. If only she'd come around…
Sarah's gift had given him the clue that decoded the old man's story. Love was about sacrifice. Putting the other person first, no matter what you had to give up, just as Lexie had sacrificed so much for Sarah. But David didn't know if he could bring himself to follow her example.
Especially now.
Much more comfortable in a pair of jeans, long-sleeved denim shirt, bare feet and a washed face, David rapped on Lexie's bedroom door. When she acknowledged him, he stuck his head in. "Did Sarah fall asleep already?"
"Just about. If you hurry you might be able to catch her." Crown already removed, Lexie fumbled with the back of the fairy dress. Despite Sarah's insistence, David couldn't think of Lexie as a witch, good or not. She'd looked more like a fairy princess to him.
"I might need some help with this hook and eye."
"You owe me a dance," he reminded her, entering the room. "And I kind of wanted it to be with you in that dress. Leave it on."
When she stared at him, he added, "Please?"
"Okay. But then you have to wear the eye patch."
"Like that, do you?"
"It does lend a certain … mood."
He flashed a grin at her, then went through the connecting door into Sarah's room. She lay on her left side, one hand tucked beneath her cheek, the other curled under her chin. He knelt on the braided rug alongside the bed. The glow of the green night-light glinted off her hair.
David stroked her curls, his chest tight.
Her eyelids flicked open, and a small smile lifted her mouth. "Daddy."
"I came to say good night." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Tonight was really special to me, honey. You are really special to me. I love you so much."
"More than chocolate?"
"More than chocolate."
"More than Christmas?"
"More than Christmas. More than anything."
Drowsy smile fading, her eyes fluttered closed again.
"Sarah?" He stroked her hair again. "I have to go back home to Erie. I've got things I need to do there, and your momma needs some space to think about things."
One eye cracked open. "You said you'd never leave me."
The pain in his chest stabbed hotter. "I know. But if you keep me here—" he touched her forehead "—and here—" he tapped her just below the hollow of her throat "—I'll never be gone. And I promise, I'll think about you all the time, and I'll call you every day."
"Will you come back? I don't want you to go, Daddy!" She flung her arms around his neck.
"Shh." He didn't want Lexie overhearing this conversation. Not to mention that if Sarah asked him that again, he'd never be able to go through with it. "I'll see you again, honey. I'm not leaving you forever. Just for a little while."
"What about my birfday? Will you come to my party?"
"I hope so, honey. I hope so."
She released him, sinking back into the pillow. "Sing me asleep, Daddy." She closed her eyes again, sighing deeply.
"Okay, but no making fun of my croaking."
A tiny smile—and her dimple—made a fleeting appearance. He pressed his fingertip to the indentation in her cheek. Very, very softly, he began to sing the song he'd heard Lexie sing many nights. "'You are my sunshine…'"
His voice quivered, and the room blurred. How was he supposed to live without his sunshine?
Sacrifice was the pits.
If there were another way to prove his love to Lexie, he'd do it in a heartbeat. But Sarah's gift of her favorite chocolates and Pappy's story had made it clear—playing the mean ogre who could take away her child wasn't going to prove his love. Maybe—oh, God, he hoped so—by leaving, and giving Sarah to her, freely, she'd understand just how much he loved them both.
His plan would work. It had to.
Sarah rolled over onto her back, flinging one arm wide. Her breathing evened out into slumber. He rose to tuck the bedspread around her sides, then dropped kisses on her forehead and both cheeks, ending with the birthmark. "I love you, sweetheart," he whispered again.
Four weeks ago, if anyone had told him he'd be leaving Montana without his daughter, he'd have sent them to see a shrink. No way David Mitchell would ever turn his back on his child.
And if they'd even implied that he could be this love-blinded optimist again, he'd have slugged them.
He'd never known love could hurt so much. He softly pulled the door shut behind him as he crept into Lexie's room.
Perched cross-legged on the edge of her bed, rubbing one foot, Lexie looked at him curiously. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah. No problem." He moved to her dresser, where a small boom box sat. He hit the power button and a soft melody filled the room. The bed creaked when he sat beside Lexie, pulling her feet into his lap. "Can't dance on sore toes," he told her. He pressed his thumb into the ball of her foot, rotating it gently.
"Ah, damn, that feels good."
"Don't swear," he admonished with a sad smile.
"Why do you look so glum? I'd have thought you'd be walking on air tonight. Sarah told you she loved you." Lexie couldn't stand to see him looking so … pensive and down. David wasn't a down kind of guy. Pensive sometimes, yes. A head man. But he looked like she felt.
"Absolute music to my ears, and my heart." His face grew more animated, his smile more real, happier. "She's fantastic, Lex. You've done a hell of job raising her so far." He stopped rubbing her feet, and she groaned as he stood up, holding his hand out to her. "But I don't want to talk about Sarah. I want to dance with the prettiest woman in town."
She let him take her fingers and pull her from the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her flush against him. She reached up, caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. Getting a little long, it had
a slight curl in it at the end, just like Sarah's.
They rocked slowly in time to the tune from the radio, bare feet occasionally brushing against each other's. One song faded, and another started—Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight."
Lexie lifted her head and looked at him. He smiled down at her. "Yeah. I remember."
It had been her prom theme.
"You wore a yellow dress that set off your eyes and dark hair. You looked wonderful then, but you look even better tonight, princess." He bent his head and kissed her, tenderly, as though she were a fragile thing he might break.
And it was true. He'd always had the power to break her heart if she'd let him close. Now more than ever.
Not just because of Sarah. Because of her own feelings.
The backs of her legs brushed against the bed, and David lowered her to the mattress, followed her down, mouth still connected to hers. Draped along her side, he splayed one leg over hers. He placed teasing kisses on her cheeks, eyelids, the end of her nose. The tip of his tongue traced the curve of her ear. "Sweet Lexie," he whispered. "I want to make love to you again tonight."
He nipped on the fleshy part of her lobe, then dragged his mouth down the slope of her throat.
"Mmmm." Desire surged through her, and she arched her neck. "Yes, David. Love me."
He went very still, then lifted his head. Opening her eyes, she found him staring down, his gaze intent. "I do love you, Lex. And I'm going to prove it."
"Sounds good to me," she whispered, letting her fingers skim his cheek. "Prove it."
He rose from the bed.
"Hey!"
He glanced over his shoulder as he retrieved something from the top of her dresser. "Just making sure we're not interrupted by a certain munchkin."
The key scraped in the lock. His wicked grin in the flickering candlelight made her heart race as he stalked slowly back toward the bed. His expression turned more feral, and a wild glint sparked in his eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt. "Shall I go get the patch? Or should I ravish you without it?"
The temperature in the room climbed. Or maybe it was just her. "Ravish me?"
"Isn't that what pirates do to princesses?" He slid his shirt down his arms and dropped it to the floor.
He held out his hand. She reached out to take it, and he pulled her from the bed. Her fingers closed around his bare shoulders, then wandered down his chest, toying with the soft golden-brown hair. When she fumbled with the snap at the top of his jeans, he sucked in his breath, grabbing her wrists. "Hold it."
"I want to." She chuckled. "But you won't let me."
His soft laughter washed over her. "I had no idea you were so bad, Lexie Jacobs. But I like it." He turned her around, tugging on the back of her dress. The zipper rasped, cool air stroked her spine, then the material puddle around her feet.
She shivered.
"Cold?" he whispered, then pressed his mouth to the back of her nape.
"No. Definitely not cold."
"Good." His kisses blazed a path down her back until he knelt behind her. "Nice." He stroked her new peach lace panties. "Very nice. But this—" he slid them down her legs to join the dress "—this is even better."
Lexie fidgeted as he caressed her skin, alternately using his strong hands and warm mouth. "David…"
"Hmm?" He spun her around again.
She made the mistake of looking down. When he glanced up, an ember flared in his eyes. He grinned, then rah his tongue over his lips.
Her knee shook. "You're not going to—"
The heat of his mouth descended, hovered for a moment just out of reach, teasing, tormenting. Then he touched her.
Oh yeah, he was going to.
And it felt wonderful. Lexie closed her eyes, head back, then lost herself to the sensation, threading her fingers into his hair.
Instead of shouting his name as she wanted when his actions gave her release, she moaned, then sighed with delight. "Mmmm."
He rose. "Don't go anywhere. I've only just begun to ravish you." His lips brushed across her forehead before he moved away.
Lexie pried open her eyes to catch him yanking back the bed covers. "Aye-aye, Captain." She gave him a languid smile that slowly faded as he pulled a condom from his pocket and tossed it to the night table, then reached for his zipper. "Wait!"
He hesitated. "What?"
"Let me."
He smiled, holding his hands out to his side. "By all means."
By the time she worked the zipper to the bottom, he was no longer smiling, but panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening over his lip. "You're killing me, Lex."
"Turnabout is fair play." She knelt and tugged at his jeans, wiggling them down until his erection popped free. "Oh. Why, David, I'd never have thought it of you. Going commando." She tsked, shaking her head, then ran her tongue over her lips, blatantly imitating his earlier behavior.
He groaned. "Lexie." He infused a note of warning into her name. "I never said anything about playing fair."
"What's wrong, my strong pirate can dish it out, but can't take it?" She closed her hand around him.
"I can take anything you can dish out, princess." He gasped as she flickered her tongue over the top of him.
She set herself to discovering just how true that was, delighted in the power she held over him, enjoying this more playful lovemaking. Every twitch, every stifled groan from him gave her pleasure.
David didn't know how long he could withstand her loving torment, but finally he reached down and grabbed her arms, yanking her to her feet, then pushing her gently onto the bed.
"Do you surrender?" She giggled.
"No surrender." After peeling off his jeans, he turned away from her a moment, opening the condom and rolling it on. Then he crawled onto the bed over her. "I'm just changing the terms of the battle."
Soon David had her writhing beneath him, begging him to join her. When he did, every part of him cried out with the rightness of it. She met him stroke for stroke, her ragged breathing and soft cries urging him on. She gave her passion so freely, he could only hope her heart would follow, that come tomorrow she'd believe in him, in them.
She had to.
Or he'd lose everything.
Something wet and cold nuzzled her cheek. David? Kissing her? Lexie struggled upward from the cozy cocoon of sleep. "You have to go," she mumbled.
The moist thing lapped at her face again.
She forced her eyes open to discover Toto, standing on the bed beside her, tiny tongue licking her nose. Sarah's anxious face hovered just inches beyond the dog.
Lexie groaned, pushing the puppy gently away from her. "What's going on? I thought I said no dogs on the beds?"
"Toto has to go potty, Momma."
"That's your father's problem, not mine."
Sarah's bottom lip trembled. "Daddy's gone."
"Gone? Where did he go now?" She scooped Toto against her chest with one hand and tossed back the blankets with the other. Figures. Leave it to a man to promise to take care of something, and then take off to the diner, or shopping, or … had he headed off to his lawyer again?
"Back to Ernie."
Lexie's feet hit the floor, and she froze in the middle of rising from the bed. "Ernie? You mean Erie? Honey, you must be mistaken."
Sarah's curls bounced as she shook her head. "Last night he said he had to go home."
He left? Surely not. Toto shivered in her arms. "Baby, take Toto downstairs and put her leash on. I'll be right there." She placed the puppy in the child's arms and rushed into the hallway.
The wooden floor creaked beneath her bare feet. She skirted the stairwell and raced into his room. The bedspread lay unwrinkled since she'd made the bed herself yesterday morning. He hadn't slept in it. The usual things she'd become accustomed to—his balled-up socks lying next to his discarded shoes on the rug by the bed, a pair of his jeans slung over the back of the chair, his notebook computer and printer on the desk—all gone.
The room felt so empty.
/> Something just wasn't right. David might walk out on her, but not on Sarah. Although after last night, she hadn't expected him to walk out on her, either. Her stomach churned. She scanned the room once more.
A brown envelope lay on the night table, her name written in precise print. She opened it, unfolded a sheet of paper filled with typing. Inside the envelope was a check made out to her. A check for more money than she'd seen in forever. Absentmindedly she tucked it into the breast-pocket of her nightshirt and began to read the letter:
Lexie,
I'm not good with words, so forgive me. I'm going back to Erie. I'm giving you what you want the most—Sarah. And your life back pretty much the way it was before I found you. I'll be calling Sarah every day, and I will provide for her. This check should be enough for now, and I'll send you more next month. If you need more sooner, just let me know.
Why am I doing this? Because I love you, Lexie. I have nothing more to offer you to convince you than this. I'm leaving my daughter with you, and becoming a check-writing daddy.
The words smeared together there, the ink from the printer had run as if the page had gotten wet. Tears? David had always vowed he'd never be like his own father, who sent a check once a month and that was all. Lexie glanced back at the paper:
It's killing me to leave either one of you. But I want you to feel like you have choices, Lex. You can choose to marry me and make us a family. Or you can choose to just go on the way you did before.
Make no mistake. I want you, Lexie. I want you in my life, in my arms, in my bed, because you're in my heart, and I don't think you'll ever leave there.
Your decision. And as further proof of my sincerity, I'm leaving you a copy of Sarah's new birth certificate.
You know where to find me when you make up your mind.
It was signed with a sprawling script: Love Always, David.
And there was a PS:
I'd really like to be with my daughter on her birthday.
Lexie sank to the edge of the bed. She pulled out the final sheet of paper in the envelope. An official-looking document with a raised seal stamped on the bottom. Sarah's birth certificate. Lexie skimmed her fingers over the seal, then over the names listed. It registered the birth on November 8, of a female child, Sarah Jacobs Mitchell, to the parents, David Edward Mitchell and Lexie Ann Jacobs.