His gaze softened before his eyes lowered to the thin sheet pulled up to her chin. “No, I didn’t redecorate.” He hesitated, and she moved her hand to look up at him. “Actually, we are at my father’s house.”
“At your father’s house?” Shay said surprised.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you Shay. It’s my fault.” Jaxson’s face finally crumbled and he laid his head on her chest.
He looked so despondent that Shay’s first reaction was to comfort him. She stroked his long dark hair gently as he lay still. Shay racked her brain trying to remember what happened. Scenes flashed through her mind at a rapids pace. She desperately tried to make sense of it all. But, it was all jumbled together. She took a breath to steady herself and Jaxson raised his head at her curiously.
After a few long moments, she was able to put the pieces together. She remembered being on her way to Jaxson’s house for dinner when she was frightened by something. She gasped out loud as she recalled everything. She remembered with vivid clarity Jake, ambushing her in the woods, stalking her, and then biting her. She remembered the feeling of incredible pain when he bit her, the agony that consumed her. It was so intense she couldn’t move— she could only lay there in the damp earth as the fiery burn reached a fever pitch inside her body. She was barely able to breathe.
Shay looked up at Jaxson and then reached for his hand as the realization hit. He squeezed back tightly before looking at her again.
"Jake turned me, didn’t he?" She asked, though deep down she’d already known the answer.
Jaxson couldn’t find the words, but his expression said it all. Finally, he nodded confirming that what she had remembered wasn’t a nightmare but a reality.
Her reality. She would never forget that tortured feeling. Swallowing the lump that now sat in her throat, she whispered the words. "So, I'm a wolf now?"
Jaxson forced his head up to meet her blue eyes. "Yes.” He sighed deeply. “I'm so sorry Shay."
Trepidation flooded her as she tried to get a grip on the reality of what she had just learned. A horrifying thought entered her mind, and she tightened her grip on his hand before asking, "So what happens now? Does Jake own me or connected to me now?" She could feel the tears pool in her eyes and threaten to spill over. The thought of being tied to Jake was more than she could bear.
"No, no honey.” Jaxson averred soothing her. “Jake's dead," Jaxson whispered. "He has no ties to you. He can’t hurt you anymore."
Her mind spun as she tried to remember but she couldn't. She felt Jaxson's hand cup her face, getting her to focus on him. "You're not alone in this Shay. I will help you adjust; you will get through it. We will get through it together." He said resting his forehead against hers.
"We'll help too." Several deep voices said in unison.
Shay and Jaxson turned looking at the doorway to see Alex, Lucas, and Nelson standing there smiling encouragingly.
"Welcome back to the living Shay. You're one tough cookie." Lucas said walking over and stopping at the foot of the bed.
Shay smiled weakly at Lucas and then looked back at Jaxson. Her hand rested on his face, and she said, "I trust you Jaxson."
Jaxson pressed his lips to hers, and the overwhelming sensation caused her nerves to tingle, like a little bolt of electricity. Even in her diminished state, her body still responded to Jaxson.
"She needs her rest," Nelson said trying to usher the twins out of the room.
"Ok. Ok." Lucas walked around the side of the bed and bent over her to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then Alex picked up her hand and said, "Welcome to the pack Shay. You are family now."
A tired smile played across her mouth as she watched the men leave the room giving her and Jaxson some privacy.
Shay laid there gathering her thoughts and trying to get a grip on her feelings. She could think with so much more clarity now. She couldn’t explain it. Before when she was human, she was looking through a hazy one-way mirror or something, but now there was no distortion. It was all a bit confusing, but she knew she would get through it.
All of a sudden she could feel warmth start to flow through her. Confused she looked at Jaxson and realized it was emanating from him. It was as if, somehow now that she was a wolf too, they were even more connected than before. His warmth spilled over into her, and she couldn't help but relax.
Shay smiled at Jaxson, and he smiled back, only his didn’t quite meet his eyes. She stared at him, and he looked away under her scrutiny. Apparently, it worked both ways. She was also more attuned to him as well. She could feel what he was feeling. She could sense his irritation. "What is it?" She asked.
He turned his green eyes back to hers. He took a moment before he finally said, "It was Jake all along. He killed Jillian. George was right. You were right."
Shay touched his hand and said, "I'm so sorry Jaxson. I didn’t want to be right. At least now he won't be able to hurt anyone else." He dipped down, and his lips met hers. “You’re going to be ok. That’s all that counts.” He said smiling.
Shay’s hand cupped his cheek, and she said, “I saw her.”
Jaxson watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Saw who?” He asked confused by her words.
“Ana. It was after I had been bitten. She was in her room playing with her dolls. She smiled at me and told me everything was going to be ok. That she was ok.” Another tear rolled down her cheek, and Jaxson gently wiped it away. “It is how I knew I was going to be okay too. She gave me the strength to fight when I thought I had nothing left.”
Jaxson could feel the peace that was radiating through Shay and it overwhelmed him. He sat there and held her hand as they were both overcome with emotion. At that moment Shay knew that everything would be ok.
Chapter 20
It was now the end of August. Almost a month had already gone by since Jake had attacked her. Shay had felt as if the events that had taken place were for a higher purpose. She had meaning in her life once again. Everything that had happened was meant to be; her moving to Greyson Falls, meeting Jaxson, and getting bit by Jake. They all had their own meaning and purpose. By meeting a man that had dealt with loss similar to her own— grief, so heart wrenching that they were both able to share and release their inner demons to one another made their bond with one another so much stronger. It was her destiny, and she truly believed that.
For Dee, it was not quite that easy. Once Shay was fully recovered and able to go home, she had to spend a considerable amount of time calming Dee down. Her best friend had been sick with worry when she had heard Shay had been in some kind of accident and was injured. They decided not to tell everyone that Shay had been bitten. They being Nelson, Lucas, Alex, and Jaxson. They didn’t want the townspeople to panic and give them a reason to worry.
However, they did agree to allow Shay to share the truth with Dee. One being because Dee could keep a secret, but the other being they knew all too well that Shay wasn’t going to lie to her. It was an adjustment for her. Dee couldn’t really comprehend what had happened or if her best friend would ever be the same again, but Shay and Lucas had both promised her there would be nothing different between the two women.
Overall, Shay thought her friend had taken it quite well when she had revealed the truth of that day. Shay remembered back on it fondly.
“Fuck Shay!” Dee had said pacing the floor of Shay’s cabin. “You haven’t even been here three months, and you get attacked by a werewolf, turned into a fucking werewolf, and get into a relationship with the hottest recluse in Greyson Falls, and you tell me not to worry?” She yelled putting her hands on her hips. “That everything is going to be just fine?”
Lucas laughed out loud at Dee’s frustration. “Oh come on now Dee. You are just pissed that nothing this exciting has happened to you in the past two years you have lived here. Admit it!”
Dee turned to look at Lucas and then walked up and punched him in the arm. “You are damn right I am pissed.
Well, maybe not about being turned into the wolf part, but at least about meeting the hot guy part.” She said starting to laugh.
“Come on Dee. I’m fine. Really.” Shay said laying a hand on her arm. “I’m still the same person. And that’s not going to change.” She assured her best friend. “Besides, look at it this way.”
Dee looked at her in confusion. “Look at it in what way?”
Shay smiled cheekily. “Look at it as if you won. My vagina no longer needs to be greased!” She laughed wickedly.
“Ok. That’s definitely my cue to take off. I’ll talk to you guys later.” Lucas said laughing as he walked out the front door shaking his head.
Dee burst out laughing and grabbed Shay into a bear hug. “I’m really sorry this happened to you. I should have been there for you when you needed me.”
Shay pushed her away, still holding her arms. “No Dee. You can’t think like that. Who knows what Jake would have done, had you been with me?” Shay didn’t want to think about what she would have done if she had lost her best friend too. “I’m not sorry this happened.”
“Really.” She assured Dee when her friend looked unconvinced. “I was so lost without Ana. Jaxson and I found each other for a reason. I truly believe that. And now with me being a wolf too, there are no barriers for us to be together.”
“How do you feel?” Dee asked arching an eyebrow. “I mean really?”
Shay took a few steps back from her friend and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Amazing in every aspect.” She said smiling. “I feel so connected with a sense of calmness now when I think about Ana. The emptiness doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I am truly at peace with it.”
After Shay had recovered from the bite and had a chance to calm Dee down, she had spent the last few weeks getting to know the rest of the Avery clan. Now that she was one of them, she was brought into the fold almost immediately. They welcomed her with open arms. She got along with everyone, but she preferred to spend most of her time with Jaxson and Lucas as they taught her how to embrace her inner wolf. They spent a lot of time meditating and teaching her how to let her senses take hold and run with it rather than fight it. It wasn’t an easy task, but she was mastering it fairly well for a new wolf.
Thankfully, Jaxson had been with her for the first change. That night, she could feel it coming on. She had been restless all day and sensed something was happening within her. Jaxson recognized the signs too. He talked her through what was going to happen and then took her deep into the woods when it was time. Shay had wanted to be away from everyone, afraid of what might happen. Jaxson had reassured her that it would be fine, but she was still scared.
She felt the fire curl deep in her belly before it began racing through her veins. Only this fire, didn’t burn like the change. It energized her from deep within her core. She felt the power of her wolf as the first tremor racked her body.
At first, she wanted to run from it, but Jaxson was right there to soothe her. He told her to embrace the power and harness it with her mind. Once she let go of the control and relaxed her mind, the change was swift. One minute she had been naked in the moonlight in human form and the next she was on all fours as a wolf.
The intensity of the shift had scared her. The sound of her bones cracking and breaking was quite terrifying until she realized it didn’t hurt. It actually felt good, like a long stretch after one of her morning runs. In wolf form, she was lithe and sleek with tawny fur, streaked with silver. It glistened in the moonlight like stardust.
She reveled in the power of her sinewy muscles and couldn’t wait for the chance to test them out. Jaxson laughed at her as she tested her new form. She leaped off rocks and climbed in the boughs of trees. Her favorite part of being in wolf form was the speed. Oh, how she liked to run. It was exhilarating to feel her claws dig into the earth as trees and brush raced by. She found it even more amusing that she was faster than Jaxson. Well, over long distances. His powerful muscles allowed him to accelerate quicker and he could beat her over shorter distances, but she was sleeker and could sprint through the dense brush much faster. She loved the feel of the wind rustling her fur. She got lost in the beauty of her surroundings and of being in wolf form with Jaxson by her side.
After the first night, shifting became like second nature. She didn’t have to think about it anymore; she could just do it. As the days went by, a new sense of wholeness and freedom enveloped her.
As they spent more and more time with each other, Jaxson had finally confided in her the details of what had happened to Jillian the day she was killed. He had told her that Jillian had left to pick berries earlier that morning. She always returned to the house before lunch, but she didn’t return that day which is why Jaxson had gone out to look for her. It wasn’t too much later when he heard the screams.
By the time he had reached her it was too late. He had found his cousin Sherry crouched down beside Jillian’s body. Sherry had explained that she too had heard Jillian screams and when she got to where she was, Jillian was already dead, and the rogues had attacked her, and when they had heard Jaxson, they ran. At the time it made sense. Sherry had some scratches and bruising on her arms and legs, and Jake wasn’t anywhere near the body at the time. No one had ever suspected what had actually happened. Even to Jaxson, it hadn’t seemed plausible that what George had seen was true. No one in their right mind would ever believe one of their own could have done such a horrid act.
Shay could only imagine what must have run through Jaxson’s head at that moment. How lost he would have felt. She could certainly relate to the feeling of confusion, anger, fury, and rage. She knew exactly what it felt like to lose someone you love in a horrific manner. Your emotions run wild, your thoughts are scattered everywhere, and there is a gaping hole that is left in your heart that can never be filled. It is easy to blame yourself for not being able to do anything, for not being there to protect the one person you love so much. The fact that he felt comfortable enough to confide in her and share the stories of Jillian made her feel a part of him. He allowed her to enter his world and she did so without judgment, and he did the same with her.
Shay had failed to visit Sue in the last several weeks. She gave her the excuse that she wasn’t feeling good, or had been busy working or visiting with Dee. Even though the truth was that most of her time was spent with Jaxson at his house as she adjusted to her new self. She didn’t want to worry the woman but knew she couldn’t avoid her forever. She had planned on having her over for supper. She wanted to make it special, not only to make up for her absence but she knew how much Sue loved Jaxson, and she really wanted the two back in each other’s lives once again.
Chapter 21
Jaxson was in the kitchen when he heard the knock on his door. He wasn’t expecting company, and Shay didn’t bother to know anymore. He pulled it open to see his father and three of his brothers, Lucas, Alex and Drake standing on his front porch. He hadn’t really spoken to Lucas or his father since the day Shay had been bitten. As for the other two, he hadn’t spoken to either of them in almost four years since Jillian’s death. He’d always been too angry and afraid he would do more damage than good.
The month after Jillian had died, he had tried to talk to his father about what George had told him, but his father refused to hear what he had to say. He along with his Aunt Olivia, Jake’s mother, both agreed that they needed solid proof in order to act on the accusation. Because it was coming from an old man whose sight was poor, they didn’t see it as a trustworthy source.
Jaxson, however still overcome with grief at losing the love of his life, did not want to just push it aside so easily. Things escalated to the point where he had almost gotten physical with his father, but his little brothers had stopped him. His last words to his father that night had been, “You are no longer considered my family. I have no father or brothers for that matter.” He had left with no intentions of interacting with any of them again. And he had kept that promise. He had
written them off, just as easily as they had written off Jillian’s killer.
“Hello, son,” Nelson said. “Can we come in?”
Jaxson eyed all four of them and nodded, moving aside to let them pass. After they entered Jaxson closed the door and stood in the middle of the living room as his family took seats on the sofa and chairs.
“How’s Shay doing?” Nelson asked with a look of pain in his eyes.
Jaxson ran his hand through his hair. He knew his father was having a hard time with this. “She’s good. Adjusting well. Better than expected actually.”
Nelson just nodded, and his brothers kept silent. The silence stretched, and it grew awkward.
“Why are you here Dad?” Jaxson finally asked.
Nelson stood and walked over to his son. He laid a hand on Jaxson’s shoulder and said, “I came here to apologize. I’m sorry Jaxson. I shouldn’t have dismissed your concerns about Jake so easily. Olivia had made me believe her son would never do such a thing. He was my nephew. Can you ever forgive me?”
Jaxson looked at his father and then to his three brothers. He watched Drake stand and walk over to their father putting a hand on his shoulder. “Jaxson, you know that Olivia had a big play in this. If we had any idea she was trying to protect her son, you know Dad would have banished them all, including his own sister.” He looked from his father back to his oldest brother, his eyes full of sincerity. “We can’t change the past even though we all wish we could. We all love and miss you. We want you back in our lives.”
Jaxson had no idea what to say. He knew what Drake said was true, but he still harbored anger in his heart over everything that had transpired. But, over the last several weeks that he had spent with Shay, he had learned about her demons and how she had dealt with them. She had learned how to forgive but never forget and that for him to be able to move on, he must do the same. He had to try. Otherwise, he risked losing more of those he cared about. He loved his family more than anything and missed them dearly and he knew deep down that none of this was done intentionally.
His Vengeance: Shifters of Alaska Series Book 2 Page 16