by Jeff Gunzel
Eric let out a long sigh. “I’ve been thinking the exact same thing for a long time now. The difference is, for me it was all a dream. Absolutely nothing in my life was real.” Jacob cringed at his friend’s words. It was true enough. Almost everything Eric had been led to believe turned out to be fabricated, a clever lie devised to preserve the greater good. “But I guess in a way it makes everything easier now,” Eric said softly. Jacob looked puzzled for a moment. Eric continued, “Don’t you understand? I don’t fear death anymore. I don’t fear anything. People fear because they have something to lose—their families and friends, relationships that took a lifetime to build. But me? Nothing in my life was ever real to begin with. Who better to send on a suicide mission?” He ran his fingers through his curly hair as he blew out a sharp breath. “I have nothing to lose. I’m the perfect choice.”
Jacob tilted his head slightly as he looked into his friend’s eyes. A tight smile formed on his face as he looked down to Athel, who was still fast asleep. He gently ran a hand across her beaded hair before raising his eyes to Eric once more. “You’re doing it again, you know.”
“Doing what again?”
“That,” he fired back with just a hint of anger in his voice. “Always worrying about what should have been, could have been. Worrying about the future, about the past.” He leaned forward while still supporting Athel’s head in an attempt to keep from raising his voice any more than he already had. “See the pattern? You’re always concerned with things that can’t be changed, or worse, things that haven’t even happened yet. What’s the point? It’s a losing battle, my friend.” He shook his head, then leaned back again. “Why don’t you try worrying about now for once?”
Eric’s mouth shot open angrily as he raised a pointed finger towards Jacob, but he failed to make a sound as his eyes glazed over. Jacob’s words stung him and he wanted to retaliate, but the true reason they stung was undeniable. They were completely true. What did it matter now if his father was not of his own blood? He was the only father he had ever known. His memories, experiences, and friendships were as real as the air he breathed. Jacob was still the boy who got him into trouble more often than not. Although the perspective was certainly different now, no one could ever take these things away from him.
Jacob recognized that look in his friend’s eyes, a friend he figured he knew better than himself. And to a point, this was true. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t go up in smoke when you learned of the truth. I’m still here, the same guy you grew up with. And I’m the same guy who is going to stay with you until the end.” Eric lowered his head, feeling ashamed. His self-pity was nothing more than greed. “Remember, Eric, I’m not the only who didn’t disappear,” said Jacob as he motioned towards Jade with his chin. “Don’t ever question how real your friends are. We’ve gotten you this far, haven’t we?”
Even as the noon sun hung high in the sky, it provided little warmth inside the covered wagon. Being unable to move about very much enabled the frigid air to sink deep into their bones. That, and being seated on cold wooden benches, seemed to make the time creep along at a snail’s pace. They vigorously rubbed their arms and legs, trying to generate just a bit of heat as well as combat the growing boredom. Athel dared to peek out the canvas slit just to see something other than her comrades and a wooden floor, but as soon as she popped her head out, several armed guards mounted on massive brown warhorses turned her way immediately. She had almost forgotten they were completely surrounded by this entourage. Deciding quickly this uncomfortable view of trained killers was not an improvement, she immediately pulled back inside.
Despite having a whole bench to share with Jacob, she scooted in close to him once more. He pretended not to notice as he sat there rolling a dagger back and forth over the back of his hand. Of course he stopped and put it away when she leaned her head against his shoulder. The four of them were bored, certainly, but at least they were at peace. They would easily embrace this moment over the constant violence they had grown accustomed to.
A series of shouts from outside abruptly snapped them from a sleepy haze. Eric instinctively gripped his sword and hurried over to the rear of the wagon. When he peeked out, the waiting soldiers gave him a far different greeting from the one Athel had received. Instantly hands fired up to their foreheads in perfect salutes while they sat up straight in their saddles.
“My lord,” called out one of the men, his tone seeming apologetic as he remained in his frozen pose. My lord? Eric thought. Light blue eyes peeked through the face bars of the man’s helmet while a thick red mustache bounced up and down as he spoke. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, my lord. We’ve just now passed our first checkpoint, and the men got a little carried away. Can’t blame them really. The first wave now has permission to return to Taron.” Sure enough, he could see soldiers scampering about on the side of the road, taking down pitched tents and loading bags onto horses. Lit torches were being pulled up from the frozen ground, then doused in small patches of snow.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” Eric said, still a bit confused by the overly respectful title. “We just didn’t know what all the commotion was about. Speaking of which, how many more checkpoints will we cross before we reach Candrin?”
“Four more, my lord,” the soldier replied, not moving a muscle and trying hard not to look Eric directly in the eye. “If—if I may speak bluntly, my lord...the Queen spared no expense. This road has been completely secured all the way from Taron to Candrin. Your safety, my lord, is of top priority. Every man here, even though already more than willing, has been instructed to protect the four of you with his very life if necessary.” Eric nodded uncomfortably before pulling his head back inside. He wondered if he appeared as dumbfounded as he felt the way, as the other three were staring at him.
“I guess all the shouting was only—”
“Um, we heard every word, Eric,” said Athel, wearing a tight smirk. “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant my lord,” she said, and dropped down into a low, sweeping bow. Jade covered her face with both hands as she shook with laughter. Jacob roared out shamelessly while slapping his knee several times. Eric felt his face heat up as he quickly moved to take his seat next to Jade. To his relief, the taunting didn’t last very long. Jade whispered a private apology before closing her eyes and melting back into him.
The uncomfortable journey continued on until the sun had long disappeared below the horizon. A single lantern flickered away at their feet as they watched the dancing oil flame lick the clear glass chamber. They watched the tiny light for hours, seeing as there was nothing else to look at. It seemed to hold more life than any bag or box lying around. The muffled voice of the driver could be heard calling out to the horses several times before they felt the wagon begin to slow.
Although the rocking of the wagon was not violent by any means, it had been constant all day long. Now that they had stopped, their heads swam and a slight nausea crept into their stomachs. One of the soldiers stuck his head through the slit and asked them all to sit tight for twenty minutes or so, assuring them a suitable camp was being prepared. Eric waved his hand dismissively and the soldier disappeared after a proper salute. They were all a bit dizzy, but Athel seemed the worst for wear. She covered her mouth several times as her cheeks started to puff out, but each time Jacob held an empty bag in front her she waved him away. That wouldn’t be necessary just yet.
Whatever the soldiers were doing out there, they seemed to be doing it in complete silence. Eric was tempted to take a look just to be sure they were all still alive, but the protocol had been made clear. He would wait here until told it was safe to come out. It was a wonder no one was tasting his food for him! But they had been given their instructions directly from the Queen herself. The very least he could do was respect their loyalty and professionalism.
“The camp is set, my lord,” came the call from outside. The four jumped up, eager to get out of this prison and stretch their legs. They practically leapt from
the wagon, each with a sack in hand. Although it had been plenty cold under the protective tarp, it was nothing like the frigid night air that burned their lungs with every breath. None complained, though, just happy to move about for the first time in nearly a full day. There were sounds of joints popping and cracking combined with the occasional groan as they stretched and twisted. “Right over there, sir,” said a short red-haired soldier as he motioned off to his right. Like the rest of the men, his helmet was off and resting low on his hip.
After a few acknowledging nods, they hiked the short distance through the matted-down grass. A small fire circled by gray rocks was already crackling away when they reached the dark green tent already set up for them. The fire was more than inviting and they quickly circled it, seating themselves on the cold ground. Jade placed on her crossed legs the bag of rations she had grabbed and began pulling frantically at the thin leather cord. They really hadn’t eaten much all day. The way the wagon had wobbled constantly, eating would have been difficult, not to mention they had experienced a general loss of appetite due to the constant movement. But now that they were stopped and their stomachs had settled a bit, food sounded wonderful.
The others showed a little more restraint as they opened their individual bags filled with goat jerky, raisins, and an assortment of nuts. Eric pulled out a plump water skin and passed it around to everyone as they ate. Between the clear sky filled with twinkling stars and the warm crackling fire, they might have really enjoyed this time together if it weren’t for the armed swordsmen surrounding them in a square formation. They were simply impossible to ignore, and made small talk feel awkward.
Eric found it strange that after a full day of doing absolutely nothing the coziness of a small tent could seem so inviting all of a sudden. But the stifled yawns and heavy eyelids around the camp proved he was hardly the only one thinking that exact same thing. “Do you men plan to sleep tonight?” he asked while slowly getting up, then reaching down and hoisting Jade to her feet.
Mumbled gibberish followed as every soldier seemed content on answering him at once. A tall man with blond hair and green eyes flashed an angry glance at the others simply to quiet them so they didn’t all look like fools. “Yes, my lord,” he said with a touch of lingering irritation in his voice. “We will be taking shifts on and off throughout the night. But please do not concern yourself with us. The four of you need to get some rest. If we stay on schedule, we should arrive in Candrin by tomorrow night.”
In five quick paces he was at the front of the green tent, holding the flap open for them. The four friends each happily crawled through and were pleasantly surprised to find sleeping rolls and pillows all laid out for them. They each chose one to call their own and curled up under the warm goose feather bedrolls. Sleep found them within minutes.
Morning seemed to arrive shortly after they closed their eyes. Despite having no screens, the inside of the tent seemed to be well lit by the scattered morning light. One at a time, their eyes fluttered open to the sounds of soldiers rustling around outside the tent. The sweet scent of rabbit roasting over an open fire called out to them, but summoning the bravery needed to throw back the warm bedrolls took a bit of self motivation, as each breath turned to steam in the frigid morning air.
The irresistible aroma seeping into the tent was enough to make Jacob take the first plunge. “I’m starving,” he moaned as he kicked back the thick bedroll. Even the icy morning air was not going to stop him from getting his share of meat, especially considering they had eaten so little the day before. The others quickly followed suit and crawled out through the tent slit.
As if they hadn’t moved all night, soldiers still surrounded the camp in a square formation just like before, each with his eyes wandering about and a hand fingering his sword, as if even the trees were not to be trusted. Surely they had taken shifts sleeping, hadn’t they? Others knelt down near the fire while rotating freshly skinned rabbits on metal pokers. A stocky man with dark eyes and a square chin rushed two plates full of meat over to them, first handing one each to Jade and Eric. He ran back to the fire and grabbed two more, handing them promptly to Jacob and Athel, all the while muttering apologies about the rabbit being cold.
No one complained as they sat on the damp cold grass and enjoyed the surprisingly well-seasoned rabbit. The morning sun still hung low over the horizon, but its growing intensity provided just a little relief from the cold. “I’m sorry to disturb you, my lord, but we must get ready to go,” said the same stocky man as he meekly approached Eric with his chin low. “Even if we leave now, we will arrive in Candrin rather late this evening. May—may I ask you all to finish your meals in the wagon?” Even though the statement was politely disguised as an honest question, the man waited patiently for an answer.
“Of course. It’s no trouble at all,” Eric replied as he stood with his plate in hand. “Come on guys, you heard the man.” A mild groan followed as they all got up and dragged their feet along the frozen ground. One by one they hopped back into what would be their cramped prison for another day. But even so, none could deny they needed to make some good time in order to avoid spending yet another day in this box.
They could hear murmured conversations and boots scraping the ground as the soldiers stomped out the fire. Not five minutes went by before the wagon began its slow rolling once again. The sound of horses snorting was soon drowned out by the creaking of wheels, a sound they hadn’t missed at all.
“Ahh! I feel like the walls are closing in on me,” shrieked Jade as she flopped her head down on Eric’s lap and sprawled her legs across the bench. “I wish we were there already.”
“I’m not sure I agree with you,” said Eric as he ran his fingers through her long hair. “Sure, I don’t care to be shaken around in this little crate for the rest of the day. Nor am I fond of this thin canvas being the only thing keeping us from freezing to death.” He turned and thumped the wall with the back of his hand. “But no matter how inconvenient all this seems, I still feel...safe.” Jade sat up and looked into his dark eyes, suddenly feeling like such a brat for complaining over nothing. “If I’ve learned anything from all this,” his eyes scanned the others, who seemed to hanging on his every word, “it’s that feeling safe is a part of everyday life for normal people. For us, it’s no more than a luxury, and I want to hold on to this luxury for as long as I can.”
They spent the day shifting positions and trading seats back and forth, as if one spot on the hard bench might be more comfortable than another. In reality, shifting views and just being seated somewhere else for a moment helped to break the monotony. Another series of calls and shouts from outside prompted Eric to peek out the back. It was dark out now, but the full moon still provided a surprising amount of light. To the side of the road he could see the lit torches carried by another small group of soldiers. Even by moonlight he could make out the Taron symbols on their breastplates as they saluted and cheered.
The wagon never stopped as they rolled on past the group. The scene of the jubilant men packing up their camp got smaller and smaller until they disappeared from view. The reality was beginning to sink in now. That was the last checkpoint. Next stop...Candrin, and then on to an unknown land full of who knows what. Jade plopped her head back down on Eric’s lap as soon as he was seated. “We’re almost there, aren’t we?” she whispered, as if reading his mind. He silently nodded with a distant look in his eyes. She smiled wide. “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to keep you safe...my lord.”
He turned on her suddenly and pretended to dump her on floor. She shrieked and laughed while clinging tightly to his pushing arms.
Chapter 4
“My lord. My lord,” came the harsh whisper as Eric felt himself being rolled back and forth. His eyes fluttered open a crack at first, then shot wide open at the sight of a soldier’s face inches away from his own. He gasped as if out of breath, then sat up with a jolt before realizing he was in no immediate danger. He looked around and saw sleepy, confused expr
essions on everyone’s faces. Clearly they hadn’t been awake any longer than himself. “My lord, please, we must move quickly. I’m afraid we’ve attracted much more attention than we had hoped,” the dark-haired soldier looked back over his shoulder with an angry glare. “It seems folk have nothing better to do in the middle of the night.”
Eric wiped sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. “This is it, guys. Is everybody ready?” It didn’t particularly matter if they were ready or not, so he began picking up bags without ever waiting for an answer.
“No—no, my lord. The men and I will bring all of that,” said the soldier with a touch of urgency seeping into his voice. “There is a crowd forming, and the four of you must get inside the warehouse while drawing as little attention as possible. Please, you must move quickly.” With that, the man turned and stepped one foot outside the wagon and peeked around the corner. He motioned urgently for the others to follow before disappearing out of sight.
One by one they jumped out the back. The full moon was bright enough to provide decent vision, but this didn’t seem to be a good thing, as shouts rang out the second their feet hit the road. The surrounding soldiers fell into formation instantly, lining up in two tight rows with their backs facing each other, forming a sort of living hallway shielding the group from the growing mob. The four friends quickly followed the hall of armor, ducking down low to try and hide behind them. The shouting mob pushed against the armed men, trying to get a look at what they were hiding, but when the sleek hissing of half-drawn swords filled the air, they backed off immediately. However, the angry shouting never ceased.