A Jar of Hearts

by Cartharn, Clarissa

  “Anne?” James asked, growing worried for her.

  “Don’t touch me,” she growled. “How could you do this to me?”

  “Do what? I fell in love with you. How was I supposed to stop that from happening?”

  “If you loved me, you should have stayed the hell away from me. You lied to me from the very start. And now you have put me and my family in danger! How am I supposed to protect them?!”

  “You’re not supposed to! I will protect you. I promise you, Anne, nothing will happen to you or Julia and Ashley.”

  He glanced over at Mark, who was throwing his hands up in the air, rolling his eyes and mouthing an I told you silently.

  James let out a puff of frustration. “Listen Anne, if you want… you can go back to Boston. You’d be safer there. Avanna would think we’ve broken off. Or if you would prefer it… we could really break…”

  She slapped him hard on his face, the sound stunning both Mark and Julia. “Don’t you dare. You got me into this mess, so you better figure it out and get me out of it, James Connelly. I’m not afraid of Avanna. But I am afraid for Julia and Ashley. They don’t deserve this.”

  James caught her shivering body and hugged her. He had been afraid she would leave him. He had half-wished she would return to Boston, but he couldn’t help being selfish in wanting her to stay also.

  “I’m sorry, Julia,” he said to the other shaken woman.

  “Julia,” Anne said, walking over to hold her. “You don’t have to be involved. Why don’t you and Ashley go back to Boston?”

  “I think so too, Julia,” James added. “I’ll be here for Anne.”

  “And what would I go back to?” Julia asked rhetorically, her eyes reddened with despair. “I came here for the hope it would give my daughter. Your father promised me she would have a good education and that would mean a better life for Ashley- one that I wouldn’t have been able to give to her on my own. If I return to Boston, I would have nothing but the possibilities that she would be caught up in the gangs or be killed. I can’t go back. I’d just have to take the chance that this would be sorted soon without any of us dying.”

  “You guys are all crazy,” Mark grumbled. “Do you understand the risk you’re taking? And you.” He pointed at Julia. “You have a child. You should be more responsible and go back to Boston. And if you had any sense, you’d convince Anne to go with you.”

  “Responsible?” Julia glared at him. “Do you have any children, Mr Danes?”

  “No, but-”

  “Then you know nothing of the term.” She walked up to him, staring him sternly in the face. “Don’t talk about what I should do with my daughter? I’ve had no one to help me with her since the day she was born. And we pulled through it together. We made it through thick and thin, every goddamned problem. So I suggest you shove your advice back where you got it from!”

  “This is not about changing nappies, Miss Medina. We’re talking about the possibilities of being attacked by a lethal gang,” he minced angrily.

  “I’m not dumb, Mark. I heard it the first time you told me.”

  “And yet you’re dumb enough to stay.”

  “It’s not being dumb! It’s about taking my chances because I have nothing the heck to return to if I go back!” Julia stepped closer, not dissuaded by his anger, challenging him at every word.

  “That’s if you go back at all!” Mark shouted over her voice.

  “Mark! Julia!” James rushed between them and pushed them apart. “The way you two are going at each other, you’d have the entire neighborhood knowing about this. Stop!”

  “Fuck!” Mark punched furiously into the air.

  James guided a very fuming Julia back to the couch.

  “We need to go to plan B,” James said.

  “What’s… what’s plan B?” Anne stammered.

  Mark turned back at them, looking flagrantly down at Julia. “Forget it, it won’t work.”

  “Why won’t it work?” James challenged him.

  “But what is plan B?” Anne asked again sternly.

  “Move in here as Julia’s boyfriend,” James explained.

  “What?” Julia widened her eyes in disbelief. “That is not going to happen!”

  “Something we both agree on at last,” Mark scoffed.

  “Listen, you said you would protect Anne,” James demanded.

  “I’m not going to pretend to be her boyfriend! We clearly don’t have chemistry. Even while we are undercover, we are paired with people we can gel with. She and I- it’s never going to work. It won’t take a genius to figure out we’re up to something. I’m not going to risk it! We’ve come too far!”

  “Fuck!” James screamed angrily as he moved aside to calm down his rapidly pacing pulse in his temples.

  “Is there another way?” Anne asked hopefully.

  “I could say I was your boyfriend,” Mark said carelessly.

  “No!” James walked briskly back to him. “Are you kidding me?”

  Anne jumped out of her chair. “How about as a friend? My friend. Will that help?”

  “No, Avanna would just assume Mark is still your boyfriend and that you were two-timing me. There is no telling how she would react then.” James looked sternly at Mark.

  “Then we have no choice,” Anne let out helplessly. “Then we will all just have to relocate back to Boston.”

  “Anne?” James wound his arms around her.

  “It would be safer for Julia and Ashley and I can wait for you there until everything is over here.” She leaned into him. “That way, you wouldn’t have to worry about me too.”

  He gathered her head in his hands and kissed her temples. “Okay.”

  “I’ll do it,” Julia whispered.

  “Julia?” Anne frowned. “You don’t have to-”

  “Yes, I have to. Your father promised that so long as you were living in San Diego, he would support Ashley’s education. If you go back, I’d have to go back to work at the house. So where would that leave Ashley?” Julia teared up. “I need this for my daughter. I have to do it.”

  “No, I can talk to Dad-” Anne began.

  “Thank you, Anne, but I won’t take charity,” Julia said quickly. “Whatever I give my Ashley, it will be because I worked for it.”

  Mark shifted uncomfortably. “I’ll… I’ll do it too.”

  “Ashley will be home soon,” Julia said, interrupting the brief silence in the room.

  Mark nodded. “We will never discuss this again. Not even a word. Everyone cleared on that?”

  “What… what will I tell Ashley?” She licked her lips nervously. “What would she think of me?”

  “Julia.” Anne moved over to her to hold her in her arms.

  “I don’t want her to think her mother is a whore,” Julia said with a little tremble.

  “She won’t. She never could. She loves you too much.”

  “I’ve never brought a man home. It was always just her and me. I don’t know what this will do to her.”

  Mark cleared his throat. “So long as I am here with you, I promise I will respect both you and your daughter. I will do everything I can to not hurt her.”

  Julia looked up at him, her tears staining her pale cheeks and nodded slowly.

  Anne rose out of her chair. “I need some air.”

  She walked out towards the back door and onto the verandah.

  “Are you okay?” James asked, following her.

  “No.” She shook her head, crying. “How could you do this to us, James? You split us apart. Me from you, Julia from her daughter.”

  “I never planned this. All I knew is that I fell for you and everything else became a blur.”

  “I lost Eric. I don’t have the strength to lose you too.”

  He gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “You won’t, I promise you.” Not this time. Never again.

  “I hate you for lying to me,” she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “I hate you for doing this to us. And I
will hate you even more if you don’t come back to me.”

  Julia ambled over to the kitchen and began preparing dinner.

  “Uh… I’m sorry about that earlier,” Mark said.

  She looked up and realized that he had followed her. She shook her head. “It’s okay. Forget about it.”

  “I didn’t know about… um… your problems.”

  “Well, not everyone has the same opportunities as you had- getting into college, getting a job that actually pays the bills let alone those who depend on you.”

  “Like I said, I am sorry,” he said slowly.

  She waved her hands. “Let’s just focus on getting through this. What’s next from here?”

  “To protect you all, I would need to move in.”

  “I’ll fix up a room for you.”

  “We’d have to look convincing, Julia.”

  She stared up at him with disbelief. “You mean move into my bedroom? No.”

  “These people are clever. They will do what it takes to find out who I am. If they discover I’m a cop- that will not only blow my cover but also put everyone at risk.”

  “Who is going to know? Everyone in the house knows about us.”

  “Except Ashley. She’s a little girl and little things like her mom’s new boyfriend sleeping in another room will be enough to spark anyone’s suspicion. I can’t take that chance, Julia.” He rubbed his brow. “Listen, I’m not asking for you to share a bed. I can sleep on the floor if it’s necessary. I just need to make it seem like we have a relationship. I hope that isn’t hard enough for you.”

  She turned her back to him. She hated that she would have to lie to her daughter. But he was right. Ashley didn’t know better and if she blabbered something wrong, that would easily endanger her life. She should let him do his job so he could protect them all.

  “When are you moving in?” she asked softly.

  CHAPTER 25

  It was eleven in the night as James pulled up at an abandoned warehouse a couple of miles outside the city like Juan had told him. Lights in the building indicated that he wasn’t the first to arrive.

  He walked over warily towards it, keeping an eye on any signs of tags and colors that might reveal the presence of a rival gang.

  “No, Juan, please no,” a man begged as someone dragged his body to the middle of the large and empty space in the dilapidated building.

  “You know well, Tigger, that if you come snitching, you better be moving, man. You gonna get handled. The thing is you ain’t smart enough.”

  “Juan, I’m sorry,” the man pleaded, shaking on his knees. His hands and feet were bound behind him and James couldn’t help but notice fumes of gasoline saturating the air.

  “So you wanted to know who popped Derek Burns, did ya? Ya know what, I’ll grant you your last wish. We owe it to you.” Juan grinned and waved James over to his side. “Tigger, meet my man, Jamie.” He laughed aloud, his voice echoing against the rustic tin walls. “Now, tell me how you gonna go run off to your momma, Trent Harvey and tell him that?”

  He lifted a finger to indicate to his men that he had had his fun with the man. Two men came over and grabbed him, each carrying one end of the helpless captive as they dropped him into a barrel of gasoline. The man alternated between pleas of mercy, wailing and prayers, but nothing deterred him from his fate. Someone threw a match into the barrel, bursting it into flames with him engulfed in it. His shrieks drowned the air as his body convulsed violently in the drum for a few seconds. And then just as suddenly there was nothing. Nothing but hot air and a raging flame.

  “I need some air,” Juan said, leading James out of the building. “I never can get used to the smell of burning flesh. Fucking gross, man.”

  Nausea was riding up James’ throat as well and he did the best he could to not bend over and throw up at his feet. It wasn’t the first time he had witnessed Juan burn his victims alive. In fact, this may have been the fourth, but each time those wails and odor of burning flesh would overwhelm his senses for days, leaving him haunted. Between this and drowning victims in a barrel of acid, he didn’t know which he would opt for if Juan discovered he was no less a snitch then that poor burning bastard.

  “If you don’t like the smell of barbecued flesh, why do you choose to kill them this way?” he asked, unable to disguise the paleness in his face.

  “Because we need to set an example, ése. This is our hood and we bang from the heart. We do business for blood, we kill for blood. That’s how we ride. And if someone starts mad-dogging us, starts getting down on us, we have to show to our people that those motherfuckers is gonna get their ass blown off. You feel me?”

  Glad for the fresh wind blowing from a neighboring paddock, James pulled in a deep breath. “I heard you take Trent Harvey’s name back there. What was that all about?”

  “Trent Harvey sent his minion there to find out about Derek Burns’ death.”

  “I know a lot of people who would be interested in learning how he died.”

  “Yeah, so long as they keep out of my hood while investigating it,” Juan replied sharply. “Harvey thinks that just because he is mayor and all, he is the king of the state. Ahhh, I know what he is doing. He wants to trap us and give us over to the cops. But he ain’t got nothing on us. Nothing.” He spat on the ground with disgust. “Maybe it’s time we got rid of him too. Maybe it’s time we show everyone who the real mayor of San Diego is.”

  James put his hands on his hips and shuffled his feet uneasily. “Come on, Juan. I just did away with Derek Burns. Another hit so soon will have the pigs at my heels. It’s a ticket to getting jammed, man. We really should wait a little while.”

  “No!” His eyes were blazing with rage. “Trent Harvey thinks he can send in his dogs over to my hood and do whatever the fuck he wants? I want him dead! No, no, no.” He shook his head and chortled. “I want the motherfucker domed.”

  James threw up his hands. “Oh come on, Juan, that’s a little much to ask. I can promise to kill him, but to specifically have his head knocked off is something I can’t guarantee.”

  “Figure it out.” Juan slapped him on the back. “I won’t have it any other way.”

  James moved away, running his hand over his jaw. There was something wrong about Juan’s request. Was he deliberately trapping him with the police? He had never been so specific about his assassinations and to particularly have a target be shot in the head was an unreasonable request for anyone. Dead is all they ever wanted. Dead.

  His hands sweated and he placed them quickly into his pockets. Juan was up to no good. Had Avanna got to him at last? This hit was a set up and he would have to walk into it like he knew nothing about it.

  “The boys were telling me about this office you have,” Juan said. “What is this all about?”

  James narrowed his eyes. Juan was probably just drawing him out. He cleared his throat, trying to keep it cool. “It is like you said. It’s an empty office. I was hoping to retire soon and start my own business. The office just happened to come by cheap and I jumped at it. It’s good real estate.”

  “Retire?” Juan turned up his lips in thought. “I’d be losing my best marksman. You shoulda told me, man.”

  “Yeah… I’m hoping the Harvey job will be the last one, Juan.”

  “Is it that girl you’ve been seeing?” Juan teased. “Fuck man, she has changed you. You want the nice house, beautiful wife and the picket fence shit.”

  James clenched his fists in his pockets. He didn’t want to bring Anne into this conversation. “It’s life. I’ve been doing this for far too long. So I hope… this isn’t going to fuck whatever we have between us, right?”

  “Of course not,” Juan assured with a grin and put an arm around his shoulders. “You know, Jamie, I’ve never been disappointed with you. Well, except for the tatts. I wish you would do some of that. But otherwise, I’d never regretted you joining The Pachecos. Not even when you fucked my sister.”

  James arched an eyebrow. “Ju
an, I told you, my relationship with Avanna-”

  “You didn’t have one,” Juan whispered. “Because you’re in love with someone else. I respect that- love. But I don’t understand. Why a blind chica, ése?”

  A muscle moved in James’ jaw. How would he answer that one? “I am a man with faults. Which good woman is going to love me for the man I am?”

  Juan pursed his lips together, staring down at his feet thoughtfully. But for some reason it was his silence that unnerved James.

  “Um… where do you want me to put my bags?” Mark asked Julia.

  She threw down her cooking spoon into the sink and marched rapidly up the stairs and to her room. “I cleared a section of the wardrobe for you. You can hang up your clothes there.”

  “Thanks,” he mumbled.

  “Mark?” Ashley asked around her mother’s side as she peeked in through the door.

  “Hey, Ashley.” Mark beamed. The little girl strangely had become the only thing he was looking forward to in this strange move into Anne’s house. They had instantly connected when they had been introduced, talking endlessly about dogs, movies and adventures they would want to take together.

  “Are you really going to stay with us? Can I help you unpack?” Ashley asked eagerly.

  “Let’s leave Mark to do his unpacking, honey,” Julia said quickly. “We don’t want to disturb him.”

  “But I won’t disturb him,” she said, her eyes hopefully fixed on the man standing awkwardly in the room.

  “She won’t disturb me, Julia,” he said.

  “I’ve got work to do in the kitchen,” Julia said sternly at him and then softened it when she turned to her daughter. “Why don’t you help me with something I’m baking? It’s special.”

  “For Mark?” The girl brightened up.

  “If you wish.” Julia smiled.

  “Okay.”

  Mark lowered his head as they walked away, leaving him alone in Julia’s bedroom. If he had been married, he would probably have never opted for this arrangement, but there was something that had dared him and he hated facing the fact that Julia played a little part in that dare.