He sighed. His brown eyes opened, stared up at the ceiling, then widened. Rising up onto his elbows, he looked around until he found her standing in his reading nook.
The heat in her cheeks deepened.
He grinned, his handsome face lighting with triumph and pleasure. “You were there.”
Though shyness did its best to overwhelm her, she nodded with a smile.
Yuri tossed back the covers and rose naked from the bed.
Cat supposed she should avert her eyes, but didn’t, enjoying the play of his muscles as he approached her and stopped, mere inches away. She tilted her head back to look up at him.
He raised a hand, drew a finger down her cheek.
The mild warmth inspired by the touch she couldn’t feel seemed a travesty compared to what she had experienced in his dreams.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
Nodding, she reached up and curled her fingers around his wrist, already missing the skin-on-skin contact they had shared. “I wish it could always be so between us.”
The same regret she felt darkened his eyes. “I do, too,” he admitted. “But it’s so much more than we believed we could ever have together.”
“Is it enough?” she asked, unsure she wanted to know the answer.
“Even if this”—he nodded at where they appeared to touch, but didn’t—“was all we could share, it would be enough for me.”
She wanted to believe that, but thought it unfair to him.
“Having said that,” he said, a twinkle of mischief entering his deep brown eyes, “will you come to me in my dreams again?”
She grinned. “Yes.” And she already counted the hours until she could.
“Come hunting with me tonight,” he implored with the eagerness of a young man wooing his first love.
“All right.”
And thus began a pattern, a new way of life, for them both.
Cat accompanied Yuri and Stanislav on their nightly hunts, keeping them quiet company until they encountered vampires. Then she hied herself back to David’s to avoid the freed vampires’ spirits. As soon as Yuri and Stanislav returned, Yuri excused himself and went to bed early.
Cat always found him in his dreams, no matter where they took him. North Carolina. New York. Russia. Australia. Afghanistan. Norway. Peru. Brazil. Egypt. All the many places he had lived during his long existence. It was always nighttime in his dreams. Having lived so long without daylight, he no longer even dreamed of it, something that saddened Cat. She knew he missed the sun. But even as old as he was, he could only endure brief exposure without suffering damage.
No matter where his dreams took them, the two made passionate love, Cat learning as much about her own body as she did about Yuri’s. The dreams were fleeting at first, like the first they’d shared, allowing them only enough time to make love. Then the time began to stretch until it seemed as though hours would pass in the dreams. Hours in which they had dinner at his favorite restaurant, then strolled through Central Park, holding hands and sharing tales from their pasts. Hours in which they swam naked and romped and played in the lake behind his childhood home. Hours in which they made love, shared a shower, then cooked dinner in his modern kitchen, Yuri showing Cat how to use the various appliances, their bodies brushing as they passed each other, stealing kisses here or there.
Dreams made all of those casual touches people so often took for granted possible for Yuri and Catherine. Dreams made it all feel real. She enjoyed them as much as Yuri did.
And yet worry soon crept in and impinged upon their happiness.
Yuri began to sleep more in an attempt to grab more of what he called tangible time with Cat. He stopped socializing with his fellow immortals, choosing to sleep and be with her whenever he wasn’t hunting instead. When Cat cautiously remarked upon it, he shrugged it off and reminded her that he had always been a solitary sort.
But he didn’t even read with Stanislav anymore.
The lovely immortal Lisette finally awoke from her coma.
The Immortal Guardians found themselves faced with the knowledge that one of their own—an immortal they had yet to identify—plotted against them, raising the new army of highly trained vampires equipped with tranquilizer guns capable of dropping an immortal in his or her tracks.
Seth, the ultrapowerful Immortal Guardians’ leader, vanished for two days.
The terrifying and mysterious new winged immortal Zach insinuated himself into their group.
A lot was happening in Yuri’s world, but he seemed distanced from it. Not unaffected, but certainly less affected by it than she thought he should have been.
In his dreams, Yuri remained charming and witty and passionate.
Awake, he often appeared distracted.
Cat feared such distraction proved dangerous when he hunted. He returned with more and more wounds every night.
The door to his room swung open. Yuri strode inside in full hunting gear. Cat greeted him with a smile that swiftly died as she got a good look at him.
A long, ugly gash began just below one ear and followed the line of his jaw to his chin as though his opponent had attempted to slit his throat and miscalculated. His coat bore numerous tears and glistened with blood. The hand that held a bag of blood to his lips bore a cut so deep she thought she could see bone. He limped badly, all but dragging his left leg behind him, and hunched over a little bit, favoring one side.
His face, lined with pain, lit with pleasure when he found her waiting for him.
Alarm struck. “What—?”
The door that had almost swung closed behind him flung wide, slamming into the wall as Stanislav stormed inside.
Scowling, Yuri swung around. His left leg buckled, nearly sending him to his knees. Dropping the blood bag, he threw out a hand and clutched the edge of a nearby dresser, barely managing to remain upright.
Stanislav slammed the door shut and faced his friend, his eyes blazing with amber fire. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he roared.
Yuri frowned. “Nothing a little blood won’t cure.”
When Yuri bent to retrieve the fallen bag, Stanislav snatched it from his grasp.
“You think this is a joke?” Yuri’s friend demanded, his face dark with fury. “You think this is funny? What the fuck happened tonight? Did you lose your fucking mind?”
Cat stared. She had never seen these two fight. They were as close as brothers and, in the time she had been observing them, were so alike that they could complete each other’s sentences. They had never even disagreed over which audiobook they wanted to listen to or which movie they wanted to watch.
Irritation flitted across Yuri’s face. “No. Would you just give me the damned blood. My leg hurts like hell.”
Stanislav threw it at him.
Yuri fumbled the catch a bit, but managed to gain a hold on it. Raising the bag to his lips, he sank his fangs in and let them siphon the blood directly into his veins.
“Seth specifically ordered us not to engage any of the new vampires if we should encounter one,” Stanislav snapped, voice rising with every word. “We were told to tranq the vamps, then call Seth. If one of the new vampires attacked us before we could tranq him, Seth told us to just kill the vampire as swiftly as possible. He said, and I quote, Don’t buy time and try to read his thoughts or emotions. Don’t try to capture him or question him. Just kill him or tranq him. Period.”
“I heard what he said,” Yuri griped and tossed the empty bag in the rubbish bin.
“Then what the hell happened tonight?” Stanislav demanded, bafflement creeping into the fury that clouded his expression. “You knew as soon as we encountered those vampires that two of them were of the new highly trained variety. Why the hell did you engage them? Why didn’t you just tranq them?”
“They were already drawing their own tranq guns. There wasn’t time.”
“Then you should have just killed the fuckers outright instead of trying to capture them!” Stanislav thundered. “And with five
of the usual slacker vampires nipping at your heels? There was no way—”
“We need to know who the fuck is commanding them!” Yuri bellowed, his own eyes glowing now.
Cat held her breath. She had never seen Yuri so angry. Nor had he ever cursed in front of her, the values of his time too ingrained in him.
“How the fuck do you think we’re going to do that if we don’t capture one?” Yuri continued.
“Chris and the network are—”
“It’s taking too long,” Yuri interrupted. “We need to end this. Now.”
Stanislav arched a brow. “Or die trying?”
Fear filling her, Cat looked at Yuri.
So she wasn’t the only one who had noticed. He had been suffering more severe wounds of late. Was distraction leaving him careless? Or was he taking more risks?
“I was five hundred years older and five hundred years stronger than those vampires,” Yuri gritted. “I had every reason to believe I could defeat them.”
“Killing them is one thing. Capturing is another. Taking those bastards alive is proving to be impossible. As long as they breathe, they fight. And as long as they fight, you incur injuries. Just look at yourself! That’s your third bag of blood and you still can’t even straighten.”
Yuri rose stiffly to his full height, wincing as he drew back his shoulders. “We needed information. I thought it worth the risk.”
Silence fell, thick with unspoken accusations and rebuttals.
Stanislav studied Yuri. “Are you done with this existence, Yuri?” he asked, his voice soft with dread. “Is that it? Do you want to die?”
Cat stared at Yuri in horror. Was Stanislav right? Was Yuri taking unnecessary risks because he was ready to die? Was he . . .?
He didn’t want to die to be with her, did he? Had she done that to him?
Yuri glanced in her direction, but didn’t meet her gaze. “I told you,” he returned stonily, “we need information. And I thought I could get it.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Yuri rubbed his forehead with long fingers smeared with blood. “You think I’m pulling a Marcus? You think I’m behaving recklessly because I have nothing left to live for?”
Stanislav sighed and sank down on the edge of the bed. “When you put it like that . . .” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to think. I just know you’ve been different lately. Distant. Distracted. Have kept more to yourself.” He shrugged. “What’s going on, Yuri? We’re brothers, or may as well be. Can’t you tell me?”
Minutes dragged past, feeling like hours. The amber light faded from both men’s eyes.
Yuri leaned back against the dresser, taking his weight off his injured leg. “I’ve met someone.”
Stanislav’s expression went blank with surprise. “A woman?”
Yuri laughed, then winced and grabbed his side. “Yes, a woman.”
“Who?”
Yuri shook his head. “You don’t know her.”
Stanislav studied him a long moment. “You love her.”
“Yes.”
His friend mulled that over. “If she could be transformed and was willing to join us, I assume you would have already introduced me to her.”
Yuri nodded. “It’s . . . complicated.”
“That explains the distraction.”
Again Yuri nodded.
Stanislav quieted. “What about tonight?”
Yuri shifted and grimaced as he touched a hand to his side. “You know Lisette, Tanner, and I are sports buddies, right? We watch baseball together.”
“Yes. I don’t know how you can stand that shit. It’s so boring.”
Yuri rolled his eyes. “Which is why I don’t watch it with you. Anyway, Tanner said something to me after Lisette finally awoke from her coma or whatever the hell it was that drug trapped her in. He said if the vampires upped the dosage of the tranquilizer even a little bit, the next immortal who was struck by a dart would likely die.”
Stanislav swore. “I didn’t think of that.”
“Younger immortals like Lisette are more at risk than we, as older immortals, are. We aren’t even certain the drug would affect you and me as strongly as it did Lisette.” He shrugged one shoulder. “The other avenues we’re exploring—Chris and the network doing their digging, Seth reading the minds of immortals to try to identify our betrayer—is taking too long. When I saw those two newbie vampires tonight, all that ran through my mind was that if we could capture them, Seth could pluck the betrayer’s name from their thoughts and this would end. It would all be over. Lisette, the others, you . . . would all be safe once more.”
Cat couldn’t tell if Yuri spoke the truth or not.
But apparently, Stanislav believed him. He rose on another sigh. And Cat noticed for the first time that Stanislav moved with stiff, painful steps, too. “I’m not going to tell Seth about this.”
“I appreciate that. He would hand me my own ass if you did.”
“At the very least.”
Yuri offered him his hand.
Stanislav clasped his arm instead and pulled Yuri into a hug, clapping him on the back.
Yuri grunted as pain flashed across his features.
When Stanislav released him and stepped back, he arched a brow, lips twitching. “That’s for scaring the shit out of me earlier.”
Yuri huffed a laugh, then grabbed his side again with a grunt. “Don’t make me laugh, damn it. It hurts.”
Stanislav crossed to the door. “I’ll get you some more blood.” He grasped the knob. “And, Yuri?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you and this woman you’ve met, but . . . if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
Yuri nodded. “Thank you.”
Stanislav slipped out the door and closed it behind him.
Cat stared at Yuri, her mind a jumble of questions and fears, her stomach aching with dread.
He lowered his chin and leaned back against the dresser.
The silence stretched.
He avoided her gaze.
“Yuri,” she said.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered wearily.
The door opened. Stanislav leaned in and tossed Yuri two more bags of blood.
Yuri caught them deftly this time and thanked him.
Stanislav left.
“Was he right?” Cat asked when she could bear it no longer. “Are you . . . ? Do you want to die, Yuri?”
“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed tonight, Cat,” he answered. “It was as I told him. We need information. I thought I could get it. I thought I was strong enough to capture those vampires, but the bastards wouldn’t give up the fight. It was fight or die.”
She heard no lie in his words, but he kept his head lowered. “You still haven’t answered the question. Do you want to die, Yuri?” Just the thought of him giving up his life to be with her made her heart ache. “Is that why you’ve been coming home so battered and bloody lately?”
“Cat—”
“Don’t lie to me, Yuri. I’ve seen your wounds. Far more of them than you used to incur when you hunted. There were nights when you would come home without a single scratch on you. And now . . . ever since we discovered we could be together in your dreams, ever since we made love that first time . . .” She shook her head. Tears clogged her throat. “You come home more broken every night, your wounds deeper and—”
“Don’t cry, Cat.” At last he met her gaze, his brown eyes full of remorse and . . . shame?
Was it true, then? Was Yuri trying to die so they could be together in more than just the dream realm? She couldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t let him sacrifice his life to be with her.
When he moved toward her, she backed away. “This was a mistake,” she said, her voice choked with tears she couldn’t prevent from spilling down her cheeks.
“It isn’t what you think,” he said.
She shook her head. “I’m not going to let you sacrifice your
life for me.”
“Catherine—”
“I’m not going to stand by and let you get yourself killed so you can be with me,” she said, voice rising.
“I’m not trying to get myself killed,” he insisted.
“I’ve seen the wounds, Yuri! So many wounds! What else—?”
“I let them wound me on purpose,” he blurted, his features tight with frustration.
Cat halted. “What?”
Looking away, he swore softly. Seconds ticked past, during which she could almost see him mentally weighing his options. Then he resolutely met her gaze. “I’ve been letting the vampires I fight wound me before I defeat them.”
Cat didn’t know if that confirmed or negated her accusations. “Why?”
“I made sure the wounds were never fatal.”
“Why would you let them wound you at all if . . . ?”
He reached for her arms, then swore bitterly when his hands passed right through her. Clenching his fists, he lowered them to his sides. “I sleep more deeply when I’m wounded.”
“I don’t understand.”
“A couple of nights after you came to me in my dreams that first time, I fractured my femur while I was out hunting. Immortals tend to sleep deeper while recovering from more serious wounds and . . .” His shoulders slumped. “I discovered that the dreams last longer when I’m in a healing sleep.”
Dread filled her. “Are you saying . . . ?”
“I’ve been letting the vampires wound me because I have more time with you in the dream realm when I’m healing.”
Cat stared at him in horror. “That’s why the dreams have been lasting longer?”
He nodded. “The more wounds I suffer, the longer I spend in the deeper healing sleep and the more time we have together.”
She bit back a sob.
“Don’t look like at me like that,” he pleaded once more.
“You’re hurting yourself so you can be with me!”
“Cat, I’ve been hunting vampires for five centuries. I suffer wounds all the time. They’re nothing to me.”
“You can barely stand!” she accused.
“I’m already healing. Look, it’s closing, isn’t it?” He pointed to the long gash on his face, which closed as she watched and became a dark pink scar.
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