Not if he were a control freak like Ted you wouldn’t. Danica could only imagine what her life would be like if she agreed to what Ted had been trying to get her to agree for months now. He certainly made enough to support her and even put her through school full-time if she let him, but no thanks. She could already see it. If he acted entitled now about knowing every detail of what she did and who she saw when he wasn’t around, he’d be intolerable if she gave into him supporting her. As it was, he didn’t allow her to pay for anything. He paid all the utility bills and mortgage. Which was fine for now since she could barely afford to pay for her gas and car note every month on the few hours she got. But she was working on it, and after today Danica might finally be able to gain more independence. Not to mention regain the dignity she’d given up ever since she’d had no choice but to move in with Ted.
“As soon as I get this next promotion, we’ll talk,” Howard said, sipping on his beer bottle.
“How’s that going?” Ted asked. Howard was Ted’s longtime friend. He filled them in on the process of trying to get promoted to detective with the Sheriff’s department. Danica listened as Ted nodded, pretending to be all for Howard’s goal of moving up. But Danica knew all too well what Ted thought of it. The same thing he thought of her goals of getting into something that involved child development. She could do better.
Danica’s sister Delia had laughed when she told her how Ted’s career had started. He’d gotten hired as the controller for the city, before he moved up to city council. But even that wasn’t enough for him. He had bigger dreams. He was aiming to be elected to the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors in the next year. According to what he’d told Danica so far, he had a really good chance.
“Controller?” Delia had laughed. “Can’t think of a more perfect job title than that, for that anal-retentive control freak.”
Tonight, Ted had quickly deflected any talk about Danica’s job. It’s what he always did since he obviously thought very little of her part-time retail job. It wasn’t even worth discussing. In fact, she was sure he was embarrassed whenever anyone happened to ask her about it. If whomever she was speaking to about her job didn’t already know, he’d make sure to slip in the fact that it was only a part-time and temporary job while she took her online classes. Because both Danica and one of the other women had to work early in the morning, they were out of there early. They said their good-byes and all of them headed out. “Give me your keys,” Ted said, reaching out his hand to her as they made their way through the parking lot.
“We’re leaving your car here?”
“No. I took a Lyft to get here. I knew we’d be drinking, and last thing you need is to get pulled over while under the influence.”
Danica didn’t bother arguing that he’d been drinking also because she already knew what he’d say: that he was bigger and therefore could handle more liquor than she could. In tonight’s case, he’d be even more accurate since he’d only had a few light beers as opposed to the stronger margaritas she’d had. Though she felt fine, she actually agreed with him on this. No way should she be taking any chances, so she handed the keys over without further comment. As they got in the car and Ted adjusted the driver’s-side seat to his height, Danica didn’t miss the subtle but very thorough way he inspected her car. He glanced down at her cleavage, his jaw instantly tightening as he looked into the rearview mirror. “Babe, you know I love all your assets. But out in public, less is always better. Do you always have to wear those kinds of tops?”
Danica glanced out the window, rolling her eyes. “You have an issue with everything I ever wear, Ted. Unless it’s a grandma style. I told you already I’m not dressing like an old vieja just because it’d make you more comfortable. I can only dress like a young woman while I’m still young. I can’t help it if my assets pop out more than most.”
Ted turned on the car and pulled out of the parking space “You’re twenty-three, Danica. You still have plenty of time to dress young, and you don’t have to dress like an old vieja. I’m just saying that’s a lot of cleavage to put out there.”
“It’s a normal top I bought at the mall, and it’s my size. Even when I wear a T-shirt and jeans, you complain about them.”
“Because there’s no need to wear clothes so tight.”
“They’re not tight,” Danica said, starting to get annoyed. “I should know. I’m the one wearing them. I have a big ass and big tits, Ted. Until I lose some weight, I can’t hide that fact unless I wear an old lady muumuu, and that’s not happening. So, you’re gonna have to just deal with it.”
Wisely, Ted stopped while he was ahead and said nothing more about it. Danica was sure he’d noticed how lately her patience for his ass was wearing thin a lot faster than normal. Now that she might even have an out, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could put up with him. Ted drove silently instead of continuing to bitch about her clothes, no doubt stewing as he stared ahead, until he glanced around her car again, finishing his earlier inspection. He took in the two empty Starbucks cups in her cup holder. One inside the other. “Who’d you have coffee with?” He adjusted the rearview mirror as if his question was just a curious one.
But Danica knew better. She pulled her seatbelt on. “I didn’t. One’s from yesterday. I just hadn’t thrown it out yet.” Before he could make a comment about how expensive that could get, she added, “I still have that gift card you gave me for my birthday.”
“That’s right you did go to Starbucks yesterday.” They started onto the street when it suddenly hit her. She’d never mentioned Starbucks to him yesterday, and as far as she knew, this was the first time he’d been in her car in days. “How’d you know I had Starbucks yesterday?”
“Your rewards card.” He stared straight ahead as he drove. “Gal at the place when I got it said, if I registered the card, you’d get points and whatnot every time you used it. I get a thank-you email now every time you use it.”
Danica eyed him suspiciously. He’d never told her he’d registered her card, and she’d had it for months now. No wonder she hadn’t been able to register it when she tried. She’d chalked it up as a glitch. When they’d asked her for her phone number and it came up, she just figured it had gone through after the first time she tried registering it. Before she could comment further, he hit her with an even more unnerving question. “What else did you do today?”
Gulping, she wouldn’t panic. No way could he know about her other stop. She shrugged. “After work, I went back to your place—”
“Our place.” He turned to her, lifting a brow.
Danica forced a smile. “Our place.” She knew full well she’d never get used to saying that. “I took a shower and got ready to go meet you.”
“What were you doing in Boyle Heights an hour before you had to meet me out here?”
Her heart nearly stopped at the question. How the hell did he know she’d been out there? Was he spying on her? Did he know she’d stopped at Bad Boy’s Auto Shop? They came to a stop and he glanced at her. Likely noticing her questioning expression, he went on, “I got an email from Starbucks when you were there giving me the time and location you were at.”
As the relief drained, she came up with her answer. “Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. I saw some shoes I liked for work out there a few weeks ago. Comfortable ones. I got paid today, so I thought I’d stop and grab them on the way to Crudos, but they didn’t have them anymore.”
Again, true story. Different day. She was only glad the memory of doing so came to her quickly so she could use the story. Ironically, lying to Ted didn’t feel nearly as wrong as lying to Nine and trying to lie to Orlando had. Danica still didn’t know what to make of her inability to lie to him. It was probably just her nerves. All she knew was she’d have to get past it. There was so much he couldn’t know, so she’d have to work on it. Ted glanced down at the heels she wore tonight. “Did you get those there? I’ve never seen those on you.”
Danica glanced down at her sh
oes, refraining from rolling her eyes. “No. I’ve had these for a long time.”
“I’ve never seen them on you.”
“Haven’t worn them in a while.” She glanced out the window, this time all out rolling her eyes again. “Probably never wore them in front of you.”
Of course, his anal ass would keep tabs of everything about her. Right down to every pair of shoes she owned. Delia had tried to warn her he was controlling, but Danica had shrugged it off as him just being an alpha male like the ones in all those romance novels she read. But she knew better now. If it weren’t for her pride, she would’ve already done what she’d been considering doing for months now: crawl back to her sister’s with her tail between her legs and ask for forgiveness and that she let her move back in. For now, she was stuck with Ted but not for long. Now that she may have not one but two new jobs, she just might be able to afford renting a room somewhere else. But if Ted got any worse before that, she was sucking it up and showing up at Delia’s doorstep.
They pulled into the driveway of Ted’s home. “Well, I’m glad you’re pulling out of the funk you’ve been in for too long. Finally, you’re over it, and we can move on already. “
Just like that, her insides ignited, and the angry tears blurred her eyes. She almost let it go. What point would it make? He obviously didn’t give two fucks about how she felt about this. The reminder of what she’d been going through, and all alone because her heartless boyfriend was so apathetic about her heartache, awoke the familiar rage inside her. She’d been doing so well about keeping it in check for longer than she could remember. Try as she may now and especially when it came to this, she couldn’t just let it go. “I’m not over it, Ted. I’ll never get over it, you fucking asshole!”
She got out of the car, slamming the door behind her. Ted jumped out of his side. “Danica!”
She stopped in her tracks, feeling like a moron when she realized if she were going anywhere tonight, she’d need her car.
“Danica, I get it okay? It was hard for you, but your life was a mess. Still kind of is, and I’ve told you I’m willing to help with everything, but I wasn’t about to raise some other man’s baby.”
“Nobody was asking you to,” she said through her teeth.
“Oh, come on! How did you plan on raising him? You work part-time at ShopMart, and the only family you have kicked you out. The last thing you needed in your life was that baby.”
The tears streamed down her face as she remembered that horrid morning she kissed Oreo good-bye forever. Through her peripheral vision, she saw Ted walk toward his front door, but she didn’t move an inch. She knew Ted was right. Her life had been a fucking mess for too long now. She knew there was no way she could’ve kept him, that had she attempted to, as she first thought she might, she’d be in a world of trouble. But did he have to be such a callous bastard about it? Glancing at Ted, she watched as he stopped and slumped his shoulders when he turned and saw that she was still standing on the sidewalk. “Danica, let’s not do this again okay? At least not out here. Come on, babe. Just come inside.” With no other recourse because it was late, and she needed to figure this out, she started toward the door. “Good girl,” he said as she walked in the door he was holding open for her.
“I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight.”
“Babe—”
“I need to be alone, Ted. Please!”
Lifting his arms at either side of him, he tilted his head. “Okay. If that’s what you want tonight. But we’re not making this a habit, Danica.”
Danica didn’t bother to respond. She kept walking until she was in the guest room and closed the door behind her. She dropped her things on the floor and lay down, staring at the ceiling as the tears continued trickling down the sides of her face. She’d had some tough years in her life, but this last one topped them all. If this selfish asshole really believed she could just get over it, he was out of his warped mind.
Danica thought back to the day she’d met him. It’d been one of her frenzied days at the courthouse. He’d approached her saying it wasn’t the first time he’d noticed her and he just had to know her name. He’d asked if she’d have coffee with him. Of course, then he’d been so incredibly charming and humble and said all the right things. She’d already been blown away by his accomplishments, and he still had such drive. It was inspiring being around someone like him. In hindsight, his approach, like everything else he did, had likely been meticulously planned. Ted’s courting had been just as masterfully executed as everything else he set his mind on. She’d quickly fallen for him, despite the age difference.
But then the real Ted inevitably surfaced. By then, she felt indebted to him for all he’d done to help her with her case—her life. But at least she wasn’t living with him at the time. She’d planned on breaking things off despite all that months ago. Then Angie died, and Danica had been desperate for a place she could stay until she could figure out what she’d be doing about the baby. After giving up the baby, she’d been too miserable, and she knew her sister would question it if she crawled back to her. Ted was as smart as he was arrogant and controlling. He’d picked up on the fact that, without the baby keeping her there, she’d likely leave his ass if he didn’t stop with his controlling ways, so he’d eased up a bit, making it easier for her to stay there until she could figure out what she was going to do with her life. Only like tonight, she’d used her misery to keep him at bay.
There was a soft knock at the door before it was pushed open just slightly. “What time you get off work tomorrow?”
Closing her eyes, she didn’t bother to answer at first. What the hell did he care?
“Danica?”
“Noon, Ted.” Danica opened her eyes but didn’t look at him, nor did she bother trying to hide the annoyance in her tone.
“Perfect. I’m having an early breakfast with Blaine and Evelyn and then running some errands. I’ll meet you back here at noon. We’ll take a drive up the coast and have lunch at Geoffrey’s. Then we can take a walk on the beach after. We’ll grab some ice cream from that place you liked so much last time. Fix you right up.”
Danica didn’t say anything, just continued staring at the ceiling, struggling to resist the urge to scream obscenities and then throw something at him. Thankfully, his stupid ass closed the door after saying good night. Having to give up the baby was hands down the hardest thing Danica had ever done. But everything that led up to it made it so much worse. She knew now she’d never get over it. A fancy lunch at Geoffrey’s, some ice cream, and a walk on the beach with Ted’s insensitive ass was supposed to fix her right up? She brought her hands over her face now and sobbed quietly into them. She would never get over what she’d been forced to do. Ever. But one thing she knew she was absolutely over was putting up with Ted for the sake of her pride. So over it. The days of sobbing every single day as her heart ached to be with the baby might finally be over.
What she’d known all along that she’d have to do eventually was inevitable now. Her mind had started working on it even before she’d walked into the that auto shop today. Ted would not only protest her taking the job at the shop, he’d try to forbid it. Most of all, she couldn’t risk him finding out about her original idea: the second most precious job she’d been offered today. There was only one thing she could do now, and she wouldn’t be waiting a single day longer. Despite having made up her mind that she was moving out, it still didn’t stop her from doing what she’d done so many nights since she’d given up Oreo—crying herself to sleep.
“It’s okay,” Danica assured her best friend, taking the baby back and grabbing some tissue for her. “The doctor said it’s normal.”
“I don’t even want to hold my own baby.” Angie turned away crying, as if she didn’t even want to look at him now. “What kind of monster am I?”
“You’re suffering from postpartum depression, Ang.” Danica lifted the baby to her shoulder, kissing his little cheek. “Did you take your pills?”
> Angie nodded. “I don’t know why sometimes they make me feel better,” she squeaked pathetically before falling back onto her pillow with a sob. “And then other times like today I can barely get out of bed.” She sat up suddenly, looking around. “I need to check my temperature.”
It was always the same thing. Angie checked her temperature obsessively. You’ve checked it enough, Ang. You’re fine. What time did you take your last pill?”
“I don’t know,” Angie said, looking down at her shaking hands. “What’s happening to me? I don’t even know what day it is. I can’t take this anymore!”
Danica rushed to put the precious baby down in his bassinet and hurry back to Angie to try and console her. Her heart pounded because she’d been hopeful the pills seemed to be helping with her depression, but today, she seemed so much worse.
“Dani,” she cried against Danica’s shoulder.
“Yeah?”
“What if I’m like my mom?”
Danica went stiff. “You’re not,” she said with conviction.
“But what if—?”
Pulling away from her suddenly, Angie stopped mid-sentence. Danica looked her straight in the eyes. “I would never let something like that happen.”
Danica’s heart beat erratically as she turned to her—Angie’s—sweet baby boy in his little bassinet.
Waking with a jolt, Danica clutched her heart. This was certainly not the first time in the past year she’d waken up in tears, but just seeing and feeling him in her dream had her heart yearning to hold him again. She’d been questioning whether she could actually go through with all the lying it was going to take to get him back in her life. But after feeling him in her arms again, all the lying would be absolutely worth it. She’d just have to try harder, and she could hardly wait now.
The next morning, she stood at Delia’s front door as they stared at each other for a few silent moments. Two suitcases sat at either side of Danica. The rest of her stuff was in the car, but she knew the suitcases were enough for her sister to know what this meant. Fortunately, they’d since made amends enough that this wasn’t the first time Danica had been back here since Delia kicked her out. She’d been back many times to see her brother Dominic, but her sister’s rules still applied if she’d ever wanted to move back in. Not that it mattered anymore anyway. She’d be more than able to comply with those rules. Delia moved back, opening the door wider and letting her in. “Are you in trouble?”
Orlando: Boyle Heights #4 Page 6