by Kim Petersen
“I know, I know. You are okay, Ace,” Glen said gently between Ace’s sobs. “Shhhh,” he soothed, recalling how he used to comfort him when he was a little boy seeking the shelter of his daddy’s embrace.
They stood in their embrace for a few long minutes while the violent quivers of Ace’s choking sobs diminished.
Ace was startled at a light knock on the door, and broke away from Glen’s embrace to spy Millie through the peep-hole in the door.
“Millie,” he whispered urgently.
Millie called out to her mother from beyond the entrance to the suite. Glen’s heart skipped a beat as his mind whirled. “What is she doing here? What is it with you two?” he hissed at Ace. Could this get any worse?
“Mum?” Millie’s voice rose in volume, as the next raps rang louder.
Glen glanced towards the door then back at Ace. “Go!” he ordered. “Get out of here, quickly!”
“But,” Ace said.
“Go Ace. Now!” Glen gave him a little shove as he heard the door swing open and his daughter’s insistent call echoing into the room.
Glen turned to face Millie’s impending arrival as she barged into the room just in time to catch her brother’s stolen glance at her before dissolving through the French doors and disappearing into the shrubbery. She paused stunned as her eyes beheld the bloody scene strewn before her. Glen watched with heavy heart as her face paled faint and her eyes widened at seeing her mother lying in a bloody mess on the floor.
“Mum!” Millie stumbled frantically to kneel beside Kate and scoop her head up into her lap. “No … no. Nooooo!” Her dark hair shook against her mother’s motionless body, while tears poured down her face. Millie stroked Kate’s blonde fizzled hair from her face. “Mum?” Millie’s voice trembled when she felt her mother shift slightly within her arms. “Mum?”
Watching with awkward discomfort, Glen’s concern for his perturbed daughter reeled wildly off-track when he realised Kate was still alive. He edged closer to peer towards the shallow gurgles of the woman that had deserted him ten years earlier – the woman who had captured the keen attention of the black snake since her disappearance from his life; the woman who he had once loved before she compelled that love to hate. He watched her shallow breaths coldly.
“M … Millie.” Kate’s whisper was barely audible.
“Oh Mum!” Millie turned her face towards Glen. Her expression darkened. “Call for an ambulance, Dad – now!”
He sprang into action at Millie’s insistence and made for the kitchenette.
“Millie,” Kate said. “Ace …”
“Ace?” Millie repeated numbly.
Holding her mother close, Millie cried as the words of her mother echoed through her consciousness, and she realised who was her mother’s aggressor.
Kate rasped shallow breaths and smiled through moist eyes at Millie. “M … Millie.” Her voice was a hollow whisper as she reached with her fingers to brush Millie’s cheek. “Remember, your imagination will take you everywhere.” Kate’s arm fell and her head drooped to the side as her eyes fluttered closed.
Clutching desperately at the lifeless form of her mother, Millie wept for the undeserving horror of Kate’s death. She wept for the years that had been lost to them, and for the promising future that been taken from them. She wept for the loss of not only the mother that had just found her, but also for the friend in Emily she would never again find. And with the choking sobs that engulfed her inconsolable emotions, Millie cried for the love of the brother she knew had been changed forever.
As Glen returned, he stopped short of the scene in front of him. His mouth gaped open and his eyes widened as a beam of light extended down from the ceiling to encompass Millie and Kate. He gasped as a large pair of coloured angel wings appeared as if from his daughter’s back while she cradled Kate’s body. The wings spread wide and in one graceful movement encircled over Kate to envelope her entirely under the bright beam.
“Millie?” he uttered and moved closer.
Millie’s eyes were closed. Her chest heaved with her breath and her head was lowered towards Kate.
“Millie-pie? Are you okay?” He dared not touch her as he struggled to comprehend the phenomenon taking place before him.
The hues of the wings sparkled brighter while their streaks flashed in dazzling beams all through the room in a final burst of colour before fading entirely from Glen’s shaded view.
Closing in behind her, the light touch of his arms penetrated through her awareness. And as Millie turned to bury her shattered face against his chest, the blaze within his eyes diminished as a shard of light surged with love through his flesh.
“Millie …”
Both of them looked down to Kate as she fluttered her eyes to focus on her daughter.
“Oh mum!” Millie cried through a smile. “I thought you were gone.”
Kate nodded slightly. “Yes, but you came for me,” she rasped as her eyes welled and she reached for her daughter.
Epilogue
December 20, 1997
D ear Journal,
I found you this morning among the contents of an old wooden box that I had buried far back beneath the rummage under my bed. And as I flicked through pages of written entries from a teenage girl, between the tears and smiles the scribed paper provoked within me, I thought it fitting to fill the last blank page with one last entry – this time with the pen of a 24-year-old woman.
I am undecided where I stand with my father, and I know the future will involve further pondering until I straighten the jumble in my mind that surrounds my relationship with him. As it is, I am all that he has at the moment, for Ace has vanished and I suspect that we won’t be seeing him for a very long time – if ever at all. I cannot shake his fleeing image when I saw him at my mother’s. It was not my brother I saw at all. When he turned to look at me, I saw the image of a black serpent with deep blue eyes looking straight into me. I still shudder at the thought, and I fear for my brother’s safety.
When I was a girl, I would cast my vision in the mirror and wonder who it was that really peered behind the green stare that reflected back at me. Still, I do not have all the answers that I seek. And still, I do not pretend to understand the great mystery of life and death. I have, however, learned to accept the miraculous presence of the creative source, and attempt to stay as closely aligned to it as much as possible. I know now that the being that watched my reflection all those years ago and continues to do so, is my real self; the self that has embodied many bodies before this one and knows the secrets of life; the self that judges, condemns or criticises no-one in thought or word; the self that dwells within me with the burning flame of a spark, and is always available to me; the self that loves unconditionally and is by no means ego-dominated; the self that has the power to create my life as I choose – my God-realised self.
My only wish is that I could live wholly from my true self at all times. And while I know this attainment is possible, it is one of great discipline. I realise that it will require time, sincerity and expansion. But hey, we all have plenty of time to choose to evolve – right?
And with the wings of an angel firmly placed behind me, I shall go on painting, and I shall spread the light.
In Love, Faith, Charity and Healing,
Millie xo
Connect with Kim:
Website: kimpetersen.com.au
Facebook: facebook.com/kimpetersen11
Twitter: twitter.com/kimpeace11
For the sea, the mountains and the ever-changing drifting clouds.
You are more than inspiration.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Epigraph
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Epilogue
Connect with Kim
“I am the enlightening, revealing presence, manifest with full power”
Jesus the Christ
June 10, 1998
Dear Journal,
Almost every night he appears in my dreams. First, he smiles at me under the shine of the sun. The revelation that sparkles in his eyes show me the love that I know still flows through him. I always smile back and call to him. But he never comes. Instead, he turns away from my pleas and goes to the shade of the avocado tree. I notice a deep hole in the earth and I beg him to step away, for somehow, I know the pit is filled with something sinister. His blue eyes darken like a raging sea and they sweep from me forever. He steps into the hole, I cannot see him. I call and call for my brother … Ace, where are you?
I begin to stir; my sleep becomes restless and just before I wake I catch another glimpse of him. I catch the twist. I feel his blackened heart turn to ash as his lips glint with the smile of a large serpent. His lidless eyes curve with the flash of sapphire. Then I know he is lost to me.
Will he ever return from the dark force that consumes him?
All I know is, I have to find a way to help him.
Millie xo
Millie held the end of the paint brush between loose fingers as she cast her eyes on the bare canvas in front of her. Her lips parted as they curved into a smile. ‘Faith,’ she whispered before closing her eyes. Her breath slowed to a rhythmic draw as she centred herself within her consciousness and a ball of sapphire light began to assemble above her head. ‘Faith,’ she said again. The ball of blue light sparkled and amassed as it hovered over her as if she wore a shining halo. The glowing sphere began to descend, and as she took her next breath, it infiltrated itself through the crown of her head.
Millie felt the tingling warmth of the ray seep through her mind, and she could sense every inch of its movement as the faith-light-ray filled her being and twisted through her. Her smile was one of contentment as she was overcome with the feelings of unity and protection that faith evoked in her. She opened her eyes slowly, and when she looked to the blank canvas before her, this time she saw the vibrant colours that would shade it into a painting of another world. She turned to the stereo near to her and hit the play button, then leaned to dip her brush into the palette. ‘Hello, faith!’ she said, as her hand flew into a painting frenzy.
‘Where do I find this world?’ Millie said over her shoulder as she worked.
She felt a slight tingle breeze over the back of her neck.
‘You can find it from within, Millie.’ Samantha’s voice echoed around her.
She paused for a moment. ‘Hmmm … do you know this world?’ she asked.
‘It is a world for the ascended. But it is a world that any being can visit, earthly or otherwise.’
‘How do I know that I’m painting it right? I don’t even know this world,’ Millie mumbled with a shake of her dark ponytail.
Samantha laughed gently. ‘There is no wrong way to portray this world, Millie. It is a world of individual creation; purely thought-created.’
‘Oh. That sounds interesting,’ she said.
‘It is a world beyond even your most wild imaginations.’
Millie turned to peer behind her just in time to catch the dissolving image of coloured wings. She grinned. ‘Bye mamma.’
Two hours had passed in a flash while she granulated a combination of siennas, ivories and ultramarines against the canvas. Pausing to survey her work, she reached for the gold leaf to accentuate the sunlight that beamed over the long slants of the pyramids she had painted when she heard the footsteps and laughter of Craig and Arella as they scampered their way into the workshop at the back of Holly’s gallery.
‘Mummy!’ Arella burst through the door and ran into her arms.
Millie chuckled. ‘Well hello butterfly.’ She bent down to kiss Arella’s nose. ‘How was school today?’
‘Oh, well,’ Arella took a deep breath and her eyes widened. ‘We did another lesson on the alphabet this afternoon. Miss Graham asked us to write down every letter of the alphabet and make a sentence using three words that she had written on the chalkboard – fox, brown and quick. So I did, but when I told her that my sentence used every letter of the alphabet, I think she got a bit cross with me.’
Millie glanced at Craig before looking back to Arella. ‘Why? What sentence did you write down?’
‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,’ she said as she began to rummage through her school bag. ‘Amy and Jade said my sentence was dumb.’ She rolled her eyes as she handed Millie an envelope.
‘Well I think your sentence was very clever, never mind Amy and Jade,’ Millie took the envelope. ‘What’s this?’
‘It’s from Miss Graham. Am I in trouble, mummy?’ Her aquamarine eyes looked worried before they clouded over as she gazed at the canvas behind Millie. ‘Oh Mummy!’ she gushed, ‘It’s the Golden World. How did you do that? Have you been there?’
‘No, have you?’ Millie asked.
Arella’s dark ponytail bounced at her waist as she nodded. ‘I go there all the time. You should come with me one day!’
Millie laughed and rested her stained fingernails on Arella’s shoulders. ‘I would love that. But you’ll have to show me how to get there, okay?’
‘Sure, but we can’t get there together. We can only meet there.’ She looked at the canvas thoughtfully. ‘We can meet at the unicorn gates, that’s where I meet Sammy sometimes … except, I can’t see them on your painting yet.’ She paused to take a quick breath. ‘Can I go see Aunty Holly now? She promised me ice-cream.’ Arella beamed.
‘Of course, butterfly.’
Arella skipped over to the door before turning back to Millie. ‘By the way, grandpa will be here soon, and his heart is racing and racing,’ she said, then disappeared through the threshold.
Millie raised her eyebrows at Craig with a grin. ‘Hi,’ she smiled with an audible sigh.
‘Well, hello,’ Craig beamed. ‘Finally, we can greet!’ he chuckled.
He leaned forward to brush his lips on the cheek she offered.
‘Hmmm … it can be difficult!’ She regarded the clock on the wall in mockery. ‘I think we made for good time today all things considering.’
Craig laughed. ‘You mean, all-Arella considering,’ he said and turned his attention to the canvas. ‘The Golden World, hey?’
She followed his gaze. ‘I suppose it is …’ she turned to him. ‘How does it make you feel?’
Craig looked at the painting for a few minutes before turning back to her. ‘Like there is nothing in the world to worry about. It makes me feel at ease. Completely, utterly and wonderfully at ease.’ Whiskey coloured eyes glowed as he shook his head slowly. ‘How do you do that?’
Millie’s heart fluttered as she held his gaze. ‘I’m not really sure,’ she shrugged, tearing her eyes away. Better not to get lost in that pot of honey, she thought. She turned from his stare and began to fumble with the envelope Arella had given her. ‘Thanks for picking Arella up from school today,’ she said.
‘Any time. Can we have dinner together tonight?’
She drew her eyes from the letter and glanced at him. ‘Craig,’ she pleaded.
‘Just dinner, Millie.’ He grinned and curled a lock of brown hair behind his ear. ‘No funny business, I promise.’
She sighed. ‘Hmmm … I am pretty hungry,’ she admitted. Why is it so damn hard to resist him?
‘It’s a date then,’ he teased.
‘Craig!’ she pouted.
‘Hey, hey! It’s all good. I’ll pick you and Arella up at 6 o’clock,’ he laughed, turning away and heading for the door. ‘But you know I�
��ll never stop until my ring is back on your finger,’ he added before disappearing through the door.
Teeth twisted over her bottom lip. ‘That’s what worries me,’ she muttered under her breath.
She turned her attention to the envelope and pulled out the letter from Arella’s teacher. She smiled as she read the note explaining that it would be to her daughter’s advantage to skip a grade; apparently kindergarten didn’t sufficiently challenge Arella. ‘Trouble indeed,’ she murmured, reaching for the gold leaf to resume her work on the canvas.
As Millie worked, her thoughts mulled over her relationship with Craig. Since Damon had reappeared in her life, she found herself torn between her love and loyalty for Craig and the overwhelming feelings that bubbled to the surface for Damon. She had no choice but to break off her engagement to Craig until she could figure out where her heart really belonged. What she hadn’t expected, however, was Craig’s determined presence to continue in her life. He had been hurt by her decision, yet despite her protests, he vowed to remain close to her and Arella until she made a choice. A choice that is becoming near impossible, she thought with a frown as she smeared and blended her canvas.
A sudden knock at the door startled her.
‘Millie-pie? Can I come in?’
Millie turned to face Damon while she wearily pushed a wisp of hair back from her forehead. Oh no! Her mind spun in an instant jumble as she remembered Arella was in the shopfront with Holly. She had been successful in keeping her relationship with Damon on a strict business diet for the past six months; he and Arella were yet to meet. For now, she’d like to keep it that way. At least until I find the courage to tell him they shared a daughter.
‘Sure. Hi Damon,’ she smiled as he gingerly walked into the studio.
‘I’m sorry for interrupting,’ he smiled apologetically. He frisked his long fingers together and breathed into them. ‘It’s getting cold out there.’