by Kim Petersen
A broad grin appeared on Selina’s face. ‘The past has served its purpose and it’s where it belongs,’ she said.
‘Oh, you’ve got that right,’ she murmured. She turned again, and this time she wasn’t stopping.
She couldn’t get down the three flights of stairs fast enough. She burst through the big lobby doors with a wail caught in her throat and her heart seizing painfully. She bolted through the rain till she reached the sanctuary of her car, her rain soaked face merging with the salty tears that fell freely.
What was I thinking? How could I get this wrong … again! Her thoughts were in chaos. She slumped back in her seat and closed her eyes. I thought he wanted this? Had I misread him? She wiped at her face with the backs of her balled-up hands and gazed up towards Damon’s apartment through the constant stream of rain.
Damon had moved back into his parents’ old apartment when he had returned to town the year before. It was the same apartment he had spent many years making memories as a growing child. He had mentioned his awkwardness being back in that apartment. He had told Millie that even though he was now there alone, he could still feel his mother’s stifling intentions among the walls. Millie had nodded in understanding. It had always been a smothering space, especially to her. Recollections of his mother’s hostile behaviour towards her had flooded her mind.
Her eyes settled on the balcony he had waved and hooted down to her a hundred times when they had been kids. It looked different now. She remembered all the pot plants that used to litter the balcony, and how lush and vibrant it was. She had always enjoyed searching for signs of Damon from the street among the bright green canopy of his balcony, especially in the late summer afternoons when the falling rays of the sun would bounce golden hues against the ample sea of jade, giving the greenery a lustrous glow.
The balcony, which stretched across the third floor, was now barren of life and appeared bleak, more so through the grey sheet of the rain that soaked it. Even still, when Millie looked up towards it, she saw the affection in his eyes as if it were only yesterday he had stood there smiling down at her.
She closed her eyes again and steadied her heart. She couldn’t really blame him; after all it had been her pushing him away since his return into her life. What did you expect? She scolded herself. That he would wait around forever? She frowned as she attempted to make sense of her relationship with Damon.
It was he who had waltzed back into her life without warning the year before and rattled her soul with the relentless noise of his presence. It was he who had captured more than just her heart before being whisked from her life when she had been pregnant with their daughter. It was he who despite the long hours she had spent finding a place to lock his memory away, still loved him with all the depth of her heart.
She shook her head and her eyes flew open. ‘Yes! I did expect him to wait, damn it!’ she cursed under her breath.
A loud boom against the car window startled her. She nearly jumped out of her skin, and when she turned towards the culprit that almost scared her to death, her face softened when she saw him standing next to her car. Damon smiled down at her. He was wearing no coat and he held no umbrella, yet he stood on the sodden road casually under an unbroken fall of rain as if the sun breezed gently over him.
Millie gave him a half smile before her eyes grew serious and fixed on his as a thousand words silently exchanged between them as they watched each other through the scattered drops that clung to the fog of the window. When the vapour of her breath against the glass hazed him into obscurity, she wiped at the window and flashed him a smile through the hole she had uncovered through the white foggy veil.
He laughed and stepped closer to the car. He leaned forward and pressed his nose to the window while his eyes rolled heavenward in mockery and a frown appeared over his face. He looked back at her and motioned her to join him. ‘It’s a lovely day for a walk!’ he shouted through the rain.
Millie laughed with a shake of her head. ‘You’re crazy!’ she shouted back through the window.
His lips curved into a smile while his eyes seeped into hers. ‘So, come be crazy with me,’ he called.
A moment of contemplation and she wound her window down a few inches. ‘Why don’t you go ask Selina?’ she blurted.
He cocked his head to one side as the rain plummeted over the creases of his face. His dark hair appeared blacker than ever and slicked flat to his cheekbones and forehead, the ends constantly dripping from saturation.
He gave a slight nod in understanding. ‘I don’t think Selina is as kooky as you,’ he grinned.
Millie scowled. ‘Oh, I’m kooky now? Is that why you’re with her, because she’s not kooky?’ she huffed.
Damon’s smile broadened. Without warning he reached for the handle and yanked the door open. He grasped her hand and pulled against her resistance until she was out of the car and next to him in the rain.
She glared at him as best she could through the vigorous fall of water stinging her face. Clearly, he thinks this is amusing, she sulked.
Damon laughed.
Her glare deepened. ‘I’m not a joke, Damon! Nor am I kooky!’ she glowered, suddenly feeling like a child.
She turned from him to make a swift escape back to her car. He caught her arm and pulling her close, captured her in an embrace.
He met her glare. ‘You are no joke, Millie-pie, but you are kooky,’ he said.
Millie looked up at him through the fluttering squint of her water-logged eyes. Even in the exposure of the rain-storm, she recognised the tenderness in his gaze and her resolve weakened. In a frozen moment, she didn’t feel the rain, and the swishing of passing cars fell unheard as she allowed her frustration to dissolve with the puddles at her feet.
She grinned up at him. ‘Takes one to know one,’ she murmured.
He nodded slightly as he lowered his lips to brush over hers lightly. The tips of their noses nuzzled together and both shut their eyes to the outside world cascading around them.
For the first time since she had driven away blinded by tears six years ago to leave him on the sidewalk cradling an ache in his heart, they felt undivided. Days, months and years of silently yearning, desperate craving and learning to live without each other were bypassed in a matter of seconds and Millie could feel the wonderful thump of his heart rejoice with her own. And just as two diamond encrusted hearts came to meet again, so too did the beating of their hearts.
Ace grunted in frustration. If it wasn’t enough that his body ached with tension from the long hours spent riding the east coast to Sydney, sleep also evaded him. Madison’s incessant snoring wasn’t helping either. He gave her a politely placed shove.
She made raspy sounds as she stirred in her sleep and promptly continued snoring.
‘Madi!’ Ace poked her arm.
Strands of wispy red hair flared with her breath as she stirred again. ‘Hmmm … what?’ she murmured.
‘Are you trying to cut down some trees or what?’ he snapped.
‘Huh?’ she struggled to focus.
‘You’re snoring like a bloody trooper, woman. Turn over or something,’ he grumbled.
Her eyes fluttered open. ‘I’m not snoring … my nose is just whistling,’ she said.
Ace’s eyes widened in the darkness. ‘Seriously? Did you seriously just say that?’
‘Hmmm, what?’
Ace groaned loudly. ‘Nose-whistling in your sleep is the same as snoring, sugar-puss,’ he said.
She manoeuvred her body in an awkward roll-over and drifted back to sleep. A blissful silence filled the small hotel room, yet still he could not sleep. He threw the stiff blankets aside and went into the bathroom. Cockroaches scattered at the flicked of the light switch as he ambled up to the mirror. He examined two angry blotches fighting for a piece of his skin on the ridge of his nose. He cursed and screwed up his face as he studied the emerging pimples. If there was anything he couldn’t tolerate, it was imperfection on his person. He stood back a litt
le to gain a better view of his upper body. Well, we’re all in shape here, he mused, admiring the taut pectorals. His gaze shifted back to his face, and as he studied the contours and edges of his features, it occurred to him just how much he resembled his father.
‘Dad … I wonder if I should visit you,’ he said to the mirror.
He recalled the last time he had spoken to him only a few months before. He had cursed himself for days for making that call because he had again shown his father his weakness. Yet his father was the only person who could understand his struggles with the demon. A soft smile played on his lips as he remembered his father’s arms around him the night he had attacked his mother. He had felt safe and loved, and had his dad not shown up that night, he was unsure of what might have happened when Millie had arrived. Sometimes he cursed his father’s presence that night, as it would have given him the opportunity to finish Millie off along with his mother. But other times he thought upon his presence fondly, because deep within him he knew he would not have hurt his sister that night. Not that night.
He remembered how he had rambled on the phone about the serpent slithering unseen among them before breaking into a gruelling howl. He recalled the concern and desperation in his father’s voice.
‘Well, we’ll see, I guess … we’ll see,’ he said.
He left the bathroom with a sigh and climbed back into bed. He leaned over to kiss Madison’s cheek; she smelled of sandalwood and musk. He drew a piece of her long hair under his nose. He liked her scent, and sometimes her smile almost made him feel happy too. But not as happy as Millie’s smile used to make him feel when he was just a child.
Millie’s hands fidgeted with her smile; her eyes darted away from him. She recognised the desire in his eyes, and it took all her strength to ignore the sweet tingling that settled over her nether regions each time she caught sight of his hunger.
Damon grinned over the candle lit table. ‘Millie? Where are you?’ he said.
More fidgeting. ‘I’m here,’ she smiled. ‘The lobster was amazing.’
‘You already said that; is everything okay?’ he frowned. ‘It’s not Selina, is it? I swear, there is nothing between us, Millie. It was just a little fling, it meant nothing.’
Her brows heightened. ‘You might want to let her in on that.’
She reached for the linen napkin on the table and began to fold it over and over until it was a chunky small triangle. They had been enjoying a quiet seafood dinner. Holly had taken Arella for the night. Millie hadn’t told Damon about Arella that afternoon in the rain – somehow that piece of news wasn’t a good fit with that drenched scene. Hence Holly had offered her this night of freedom. Bless Holly, she thought, and not for the first time; the woman was a gift and Millie appreciated her presence in her life. She motioned to a passing waiter for more wine. Wine will help, she thought to herself.
‘She is well aware of where we stand,’ Damon replied. He reached for her hand and lowered his tone. ‘She knows I am in love with you.’
Yes, well; you may not be when I tell you about Arella. Millie smiled. ‘Damon, I need to tell you something.’ She drew a deep breath and looked around desperately for the waiter. Where is that wine?
Damon frowned. ‘What is it, Millie? Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same?’ he said with a tinge of alarm.
‘No,’ she said, shaking her head.
‘No?’ he sighed. He leaned back in his chair and studied her for a moment. ‘No? You don’t feel the same?’
She gave a half laugh. ‘No … I mean yes, but before anything else there is something you need to know,’ she said.
Damon leaned closer. ‘I’m all ears,’ he said.
‘Ahh, the wine,’ Millie smiled up at the waiter gratefully as her glass was refilled. She thanked him and took a hefty sip, prolonging the distraction.
It wasn’t long enough though, and she debated whether she could string it out a little longer by taking another sip from her glass. Her thoughts were interrupted when Damon noisily cleared his throat.
‘Millie?’ he pressed.
She closed her eyes as she became aware of the quickening of her pulse. She took another breath and looked at him squarely. ‘Arella is your daughter.’ The words reluctantly spilled from her lips. There I said it!
She noticed the changes in his expression as the information seeped through him. He gaped at her as his face paled. Her heart thundered and she could barely breathe as she waited for him to say something.
Damon rubbed at his chin. ‘The willow tree,’ he said.
Millie nodded. ‘The willow tree.’
‘But that was so long ago and I left right away.’ His face was a blend of emotions.
He picked up his glass and drained the wine before looking at her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I did! Well, I thought I did,’ she muttered, dropping her gaze.
His eyes glistened as the realisation dawned. ‘The letter you gave your father to post,’ he said.
She nodded. ‘I thought you turned your back on us.’ She felt tears flood into her eyes as past emotions rose to the surface.
‘I would never do that!’ he asserted.
Millie squared her chin as she looked up at him. ‘Then what would you have done, Damon?’
‘I would have come back!’ he said.
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’
Her eyes flashed with ire. ‘Are you sure about that? Because from where I was standing, you never looked back,’ she snapped.
Damon scowled. ‘That’s not fair. I tried getting in touch with you so many times; all I wanted to do was run back home and, so help me god, I would have been here in a flash if I thought you’d still have me!’ He took her hands in his. ‘Millie, I thought it was you that had turned your back on me.’
Her eyes misted over with tears. She remembered those days almost as if it were yesterday, and as her memory drifted to the uncertainty of that time, her chest seized with a terrible ache. Why had my father interrupted our communication? she thought for the thousandth time since she had discovered Damon’s revelations. Her dark hair tumbled loosely around her face as she shook her head and sighed. After everything that had happened with her mother and Ace at the retreat, she had never found the time to bring it up with her father. In fact, the two had never discussed that night nor anything of significance since. Except occasionally about Ace. Their relationship, which was already fraying around the edges, had unravelled more since finding him and Ace at the retreat with her mother’s lifeless body. Perhaps it’s time to have a long overdue talk with my father.
Millie shuddered and pushed away the tide of discordant thoughts. I should know better than to invite these feelings, she scolded herself. She forced a smile. ‘So, what now?’ she said.
Damon grinned up at her. ‘Now I get to know my daughter.’
Her expression softened. ‘And she will finally get to know her father.’
He squeezed her hands gently. ‘But tonight, we get to know each other again.’
Millie’s heart did a flip as she noticed the excitement brewing in his eyes. She lowered her gaze and bit down on her bottom lip in an attempt to control the uptake of butterfly wings in her stomach. Suddenly, she felt like a teenager with a wild crush. How Damon still managed to evoke such feelings was beyond her, yet she enjoyed the buzz that trilled through her senses.
When he motioned a passing waiter for the bill, his voice became low and throaty, and he whisked her from the restaurant with an urgent intent. The cold night air hit them with a brittle blast, yet neither of them noticed the vapour of their breaths against the icy breeze, nor the escalating headiness of the wine. He clasped her hand firmly, leading her through the wet alleyway to the back lot where he had parked his car.
As they neared the car, Millie’s breath hastened with every step. She was aware of his every move next to her, and her body responded like a ripened pear ready to be plucked and devoured. She could
feel the swell of her nipples as they strained against her lacy bra with every heave of her chest; And he’s barely touched me yet! she mused.
Her observations were hindered when he pushed her against the car. His hands lingered over her face as he leaned towards her, his parting lips finding her mouth with the release of a moan. His soft tongue was soft and hot as it probed around hers, and as his kiss deepened, it seemed to wrap around her own crucially. Millie felt his erection harden, even under the layers of clothing that were meant to keep them warm. She tried to move, to say something along the lines of going back to her apartment but she felt as if she were captive to an invisible thread. She snaked her hands under his shirt and found his smooth hot skin. She pressed her mouth on his while exploring the hard contours of his chest before slipping her hand down to firmly clasp his shaft. He groaned, then suddenly moved away, his breath almost whooshing as their eyes locked with only the scant glow of a lone street light to burnish their vision.
She met his gaze with the gold flickering hunger of her own. A small shriek of surprise rose from her throat as he lunged for her, and almost brutally turned her around. He pressed against her, meshing to her body while he shimmied the skirt of her dress and skimmed his hands roughly over her thighs. Moist lips left a trail of seductive promises on her neck, and when he bent her over the bonnet of the car, she thought she might explode from the excitement sweeping through her. She willingly succumbed to the delicious throes of lust as his fingers tangled in her hair and his erection burst between her parted legs. She moved her hips to draw him in and out with the urgent thrusts of his passion until her climax shattered and quaked through her body with his deep penetration.
Damon groaned and encircled his arms around her. He nuzzled her neck and nibbled on her earlobe. ‘You still take my breath away, Amelia Anderson,’ he murmured.
Millie leaned back into him and grinned while still panting from their lovemaking. ‘And you just took mine,’ she laughed.
It was then she became aware of the wintry air numbing her fingers and her damp clothes from the wet car. She shivered slightly. ‘Let’s go home.’