Not to mention when he touches me I lose control. And tomorrow there won’t be any clothes at all between us.
Oh God, what was she going to do?
* * *
Baird leaned back on the couch and sighed. Gods, he’d expected her to try something like this at the beginning of the week when she’d first had her sister send up the bag of revealing clothing. But not now. Not when they’d been getting so close and enjoying each other’s company so much. To know that she still wanted to get away from him so badly hurt—hurt like hell.
“Bebo,” he growled and the little zicther came waddling over and grunted inquiringly. “Fetch the Think-me,” Baird told his pet. “You know where I hid it, right?”
Bebo snorted in ascent and scuttled off. When he returned he was holding a thin circlet made of silver wire carefully between his sharp teeth.
“Good boy.” Baird scratched the little creature behind his round, fluffy ears and Bebo closed his eyes and made a pleased humming sound. “Sorry things have been so crazy around here lately, buddy,” Baird muttered. “Hopefully they’ll settle down soon.” If Olivia would just accept that we belong together and let down her guard. But of course, that was what he’d thought she was doing for the entire week when he was working so hard to win her over. Instead, she’d been plotting to try and trick her way off the ship. And away from me, Baird ruefully acknowledged.
With a sigh he settled the thin silver wire around his temples, closed his eyes and concentrated. “Hey Sylvan, you up?”
“I am now,” came the grumpy reply. His half brother’s mind voice sounded irritated and sleepy. “What do you want?”
“Forget it. Sorry I bothered you.” Baird started to break the connection but Sylvan’s voice stopped him.
“No, wait a minute. I’m sorry, you just woke me up and I was having the strangest dream.”
“Care to share?”
“Not particularly. So why are you bespeaking me in the middle of the night?”
“It’s Olivia—she…ah, hell. She tried to pull a fast one. Came out here in this incredible little slinky outfit and I’m pretty sure she was trying to get me on breach of contract.”
“So that’s what all those flimsy undergarments her sister sent her were for. I wondered.” Sylvan sounded thoughtful.
“It’s just…I thought I was getting through to her. We’ve been having a helluva good time this week and I thought she was as into it as I was. That she was really enjoying herself and letting down her guard.”
“Maybe she was. Maybe she was beginning to feel for you and it scared her. Isn’t tomorrow the start of your bathing week?”
“Yeah, it is. I’ll finally get to touch her.”
“She hasn’t even been letting you touch her? You’ve at least been holding her at night, haven’t you?” Sylvan sounded incredulous.
Baird shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “Ah, hell…she’s scared, you know? I can feel it comin’ off her in waves. I just didn’t want to make it worse.”
“You have to bathe her tomorrow night, though,” Sylvan pointed out. “If you don’t touch her during the bathing week it’s as much a breach of contract as if you do touch her sexually without permission during the holding week.”
“You think I don’t know that? Damn it, Sylvan—it’s killing me! I want her so much and I can tell she wants me too. Her scent tells me she’s ripe as hell but she’s just not ready yet.”
“She may never be ready. I told you how she feels about losing her sister. Which reminds me—did you tell her about the mating scent? I mean, really spell it out for her?”
Baird frowned. “I tried. She wasn’t very interested though—at that point she was just trying to get away from me.”
“So you did hold her.”
“For awhile. Just wanted to make her admit what she was feeling—not that she would. I tell you, brother, it’s hell to want a woman so badly and know she wants you too but she won’t let you in.”
“Yet another reason I’m glad I vowed never to call a bride,” Sylvan said dryly.
“Yeah, lucky you—I’m about to go crazy over here. The Scourge has nothing on Olivia when it comes to torture.”
“You don’t really mean that.”
Baird sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, not really. It’s just incredibly frustrating. When I can smell how ready she is and see the way my touch affects her and she still won’t admit it…It’s making me crazy.”
“She’ll have to admit it tomorrow night,” Sylvan pointed out. “She won’t have a choice. But, Baird, you’d probably better take things slowly. If she’s still so dead set against letting you bond her, your first bathing could be a traumatic experience.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. You think I’d be rough with her? Think I’d do anything to hurt her? Hell, Sylvan, I’d give my life for her.”
“I know you would.” Sylvan’s voice was soothing. “But I know you, Baird—you’re all fire.”
“And you’re all ice,” Baird responded. “All you damn Tranqs are. Sorry I can’t be as cold blooded and level headed as you, brother, but I love her. And I don’t want to lose her.”
“You won’t. From what you’ve told me your mating scent is already working on her. No female can resist that.”
“That’s not quite true,” Baird pointed out and then wished he’d kept silent.
There was a long mental silence and then Sylvan said, “You’re right. There are a few that can resist.”
Baird winced. Damn it, why did he have to bring up his brother’s past pain when Sylvan was trying to help him? “Look, Sylvan, I didn’t mean—”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past.” Sylvan’s mental voice was brisk but Baird knew that some pain didn’t fade with the passage of time. He cursed himself again for hurting his brother.
“Sylvan—”
“It’s late, Baird. Did you need anything else?”
“No.”
“Good night then. And good luck tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I’ll need it.”
Baird felt the connection break on his brother’s end. With a sigh, he slipped the think-me off and twirled the thin sliver wire circlet around one finger as he thought. Sylvan was right about one thing—Olivia was going to have a hard time tomorrow night. She didn’t want to accept what she felt for him, didn’t want to accept that her body needed his. But if he didn’t touch her, didn’t bathe her as the contract required, he could lose her. I can’t do that. I need her too much. And she needs me too if only she’d admit it, damn it!
Sighing, Baird took the Think-me back to its hiding place under Bebo’s second favorite cushion and ran both hands through his thick black hair in frustration. What was it going to take to make Olivia see that they needed each other? How could he make her admit she wanted him as much as he wanted her? He had no idea and with the first week already down, he was running out of time.
Fifteen
Liv looked over the letter again, frowning. It was from Sophie and it had just arrived for her, although her sister had dated it much earlier in the week. Liv wasn’t sure whether it had been held up by Kindred security or just delayed at the HKR building but she couldn’t imagine anyone would find anything subversive in it. To the casual reader, it wouldn’t have seemed like much—some gossip, a few inside jokes and Sophie urging her to stay strong. It was the PS at the bottom of the letter that gave Liv pause. In her looping, feminine script, Sophie had written, Be careful, Liv—a rose by any other name would NOT smell as sweet. Love stinks so hold your nose.
It just made no sense. What was her twin talking about? Clearly it was meant to be a warning but of what? Liv wasn’t getting it but it gave her an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. If only she could talk to Sophie face to face for a moment she was sure she could get an answer. But, as Baird had reminded her, direct communication with her loved ones back on Earth was expressly forbidden during the claiming period.
Of course,
Sophie’s letter wasn’t the only thing that was making her nervous. It was almost time to take her first bath with Baird and Liv was almost frightened out of her wits. The big warrior had been silent all day—brooding. No doubt he was thinking about how she’d tried to fool him and was feeling angry and betrayed.
What is he going to do to me? The thought that had been lurking at the back of her brain all day and now it barged right up to the front and demanded to be examined. She didn’t really think that Baird would hurt her but there were other ways than pain to take revenge. Sexual ways…
Liv wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. She was sitting on the edge of the big bed she shared with Baird every night contemplating the coming bath and she didn’t even know what to wear. She’d been lounging around in jeans and a t-shirt all day but that obviously wasn’t going to cut it tonight. Does it matter? You’re just going to be taking off whatever you put on, whispered the annoying little voice in her brain.
“Shut up,” Liv muttered. “It’s going to be all right—he’s just going to wash me, that’s all.” Right—wash her and touch her and run his big, warm hands all over her body…God! She could feel herself tingling all over at the vivid mental image and the almost Pavlovian response of her body made her mad. Damn it, why did the big Kindred bastard have to be so hard to resist? Why couldn’t she stop wanting him?
Want him or not you have to resist tonight, she reminded herself. If you ever want to see Sophie and Kat and have a life of your own back on Earth, you can’t give in, no matter how good it feels. Right. Not a problem—as long as she could control her raging hormones while he was doing his level best to get into her panties. But oh wait—she wasn’t even going to be wearing any panties. Great. Just great. Liv sighed.
“Are you all right, Lilenta?” Baird’s deep voice coming from the doorway startled her so much she jumped.
“God, don’t sneak up on me like that,” she scolded. And then she saw he had something in his hands. “What’s that?”
“A bathing robe.” He held it out to her. It was a deep crimson red and its outer surface was made of some thick silky material that reminded Liv of satin. On the inside it was lined with a soft looking fur. “Will you wear it?” he asked.
Liv had a sudden flash of hope. “Am I supposed to wear it in the pool?”
He frowned. “Afraid not. You’re going to be naked in the bathing pool. We both are.”
Liv had expected as much but she still couldn’t quite keep the dismay out of her voice. “Why bother with a special robe at all if I’m just going to have to take it off? If I’m just going to have to…have to get naked so you can grope me?” she demanded.
Baird looked frustrated. “Because this is about more than just getting you naked and groping you. It’s a ceremony—a very old and beautiful one.” His voice got softer. “And I’d like to honor it with you if you’ll let me, Lilenta.”
“I…don’t know what to say.” Liv nibbled her lower lip nervously. “I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to disrespect your culture. It’s just…I know you’re mad at me—”
“I’m not angry with you.” Baird interrupted softly. “I’m sad because you can’t let yourself feel for me what I feel for you. I’m sorry you still want to get away so badly. And of course I’m frustrated because I want you so damn much and you’re determined not to let me have you. But angry? No. The only fault here is mine—I’ve been pushing you too much, trying too hard and for that, I’m sorry.”
Liv gave a shaky laugh. “Wow—a guy who actually talks about his feelings and takes the blame when we have a fight.” He’d be freaking perfect if he didn’t come with so much damn alien baggage.
“Everything is a fight with you.” But the soft tone in his deep voice didn’t match the angry words. “I wish it didn’t have to be like that, Lilenta. Wish you could give yourself to me and let me care for you.”
Liv felt her throat grow tight. “I told you before, Baird, I just can’t do that. There are people I love back on Earth—things I want to accomplish.”
He nodded. “So be it. One thing I’ll give you, Lilenta, you’re a worthy opponent.”
Liv almost laughed. “You sound like it’s some kind of contest.”
“It is.” Baird’s voice was perfectly serious. “You’re determined not to admit what’s between us and I’m determined you will.”
“So who’s winning?” Liv crossed her arms over her chest.
He arched one black eyebrow at her. “We’ll see after tonight. But for now, I’d like to put that aside for awhile.”
“What? How can I possibly put it aside when we’re about to take a bath together?”
“This is more than a bath—it’s a symbolic gesture.”
“A gesture of what?” Liv still didn’t know if she was buying all this but Baird seemed perfectly serious.
Sighing, he came and sat on the edge of the bed. Liv had jumped up when he first entered the room but when he patted the thick gel mattress with one hand, she reluctantly settled down beside him.
“Long before the Kindred ever reached the stars or found our first trade planet, the females of our kind were already very scarce,” he began in a low voice. “They were as precious and rare as beautiful gems and any male lucky enough to win one as his bride and mate knew he had been given a gift of incalculable worth.”
“Did the women get to pick, back then?” Liv was interested despite herself.
Baird shook his head. “It’s not a matter of males or females picking and choosing, Lilenta. When a male finds his bride and their minds align, the decision has already been taken out of both their hands. But on the Kindred home world, a female would sometimes align with more than one male.”
“That must have been, uh, really awkward.”
“It was more than that—Kindred males will fight to the death for the right to keep their brides. Our people were being decimated and some feared we would die out before we could solve our problems. That’s how the claiming period was born. When a male aligned with a female, he would claim the right to be with her and he had four weeks in order to prove he was the right mate for her and convince her to bond with him.”
Liv was surprised. “So this whole month-long ordeal isn’t just something you guys made up to get unwilling Earth girls up to the ship?”
Baird shook his head. “It is a tradition that has been passed down for generations. If, in the course of four weeks—the holding week, the bathing week, the tasting week, and the bonding week—the male could convince his chosen bride that she should bond with him, they were mated for life.”
“I have a question about that,” Liv said. “Why divide the weeks up like that? I mean, I get that the name of the week tells you what you can…can do to me, uh, to your bride and when. But why name the fourth week the bonding week? I mean, what if the woman you’ve chosen decides not to have bonding sex with you? What can you do then?”
Baird raised an eyebrow and gave her a long look. “The bonding week is the week when I can legally make love to you, Lilenta.”
“But…but I thought you couldn’t…couldn’t do that to me, that you couldn’t have bonding sex with me until I agreed to it,” Liv protested.
“I can’t. Just as I can’t do any of the other things proscribed by the four weeks until their proper time. Unless you give me permission to do them early.” His eyes gleamed. “But make no mistake about it, Olivia, on the fourth week, I am allowed to enter you and fill you with my shaft. And if you can feel the intimate connection between our bodies and minds night after night and still refuse to have bonding sex with me, well…then you’re free to go.”
Liv felt like her heart had stopped beating for a moment. “So we’re actually going to—you’re going to be in me?” God, what else can he do? What can bonding sex be if he’s already allowed to do that? But she couldn’t bring herself to ask.
“Those are the terms of the contract,” Baird said. “Although you can allow me to make love with you and bond you ea
rlier if you wish. I understand that many Earth brides don’t wait the entire four weeks to make that decision.” His voice was soft and deep and his eyes wouldn’t leave hers.
“That’s not going to happen.” Liv wished her voice wasn’t shaking so much. She dropped her eyes. “What happened in the old days if a male couldn’t convince a female to bond with him?”
If he couldn’t…” Baird shrugged his broad shoulders. “She was allowed to leave him and allow her mind to align with another male. Of course, the weeks on the Kindred home planet were about the length of one of your Earth years, so a male had considerably longer to convince his bride they ought to stay together.”
“Wow.” Liv didn’t know what to say. Here she was worried about holding out for one month and Baird was telling her that the original Kindred brides had had to withstand the blatantly sexual claiming period for four years. “That’s…a long time,” she managed at last.
“Not nearly long enough to be with the woman you love.” Baird caught her gaze with his own until Liv bit her lip and looked away. “Of course, in time traditions grew up around each week,” he continued. “During the holding week a male keeps his bride safe in the circle of his arms and holds her close to prove he can protect her from any danger that might come.” He looked at her steadily. “I wanted to do that for you, Lilenta, but I didn’t want to scare you away or frighten you—any more than you already were, anyway.”
Liv started to deny her fear as she had from the start but something made her stop. It was true—she was afraid of Baird. Of what he represented, of everything and everyone she could lose if she let herself fall into his arms and never look back. Instead she said quietly, “Go on.”
“During the bathing week, a Kindred male cares for and pampers his bride by worshiping her body,” he continued in a low voice. “He washes her hair and bathes and massages and oils her to show her what their life will be like together if she consents to bond with him. The care he takes with her symbolizes how precious she is to him, how beautiful and perfect he finds her.”
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 19