Get out of my head! she sent at them fiercely, not sure if they could hear her or not. She was relieved, at least, that she couldn’t hear them. She knew from talking to Liv that after bonding with a Kindred, a mental connection was created that allowed the Earth bride and her new husband to hear each other’s thoughts without using a Think-me. But I’m not freaking bonded to them. And I don’t want to be either! And anyway, the thoughts weren’t so much the issue as the feelings. Somehow the ability to hear each other’s thoughts wasn’t nearly as upsetting as feeling someone else’s emotions. Maybe because hearing someone else’s thoughts didn’t make her feel like she was going to overflow or explode at any minute.
I so don’t need this right now, she thought, putting her head on her knees. Sophie’s in danger and I can’t even talk to Liv because she’s acting out the Kindred version of the Kama-sutra. I’m stuck on this damn ship without even a room to stay in and I’ve got two strangers filling my head with their feelings.
Only they weren’t strangers—not really. Even though she’d known them a relatively short period of time, Deep and Lock had kind of leap-frogged over the regular getting-to-know-you routine when they had entered her mind and seen her naughtiest fantasies.
“I don’t care,” she whispered sullenly. “Don’t care what they saw or heard or how much they know. I’ve known them for less than twenty-four hours and I don’t need to be stuck with their emotions in my head for the rest of my life.”
Her head was still throbbing miserably and she wished longingly for some Excedrin or anything else that might stop the dull, aching pain. Did they stock such things aboard the Kindred Mother ship? They had plenty of Earth women here—surely one of the stores that catered to them would have something she could use. She started to get up and then remembered that most of those stores were past the unmated males’ area that Deep and Lock had been so anxious for her to avoid. Would she seriously have trouble if she went there? Olivia had had some kind of similar problem during her claiming period, she recalled. Although she had been kind of vague on the details, it hadn’t been good—that much Kat remembered.
They thought I would have problems because of my smell—because I smelled hot. Just thinking about it made her blush. The memory of being linked to the tall, muscular twins invaded her brain and she couldn’t stop seeing the erotic images they’d passed between the three of them. That memory led to another. The burning intensity in Deep’s coal black eyes when he’d asked her to stay and the vast depth of need and loneliness in Lock’s warm brown eyes the last time he’d looked at her…
Stop it! Stop it right now. You do not feel sorry for them and you are never going to see them again, she told herself sternly. After all, who knew what they might talk her into the next time?
Kat shivered and rubbed her forehead hard with the heel of her hand. There it was again—the feeling of being horny and having a miserable, hangover-like headache at the same time. It shouldn’t be possible. Then again, a lot of the things she’d done tonight shouldn’t be possible. She thought of the amazing flying sensation she’d had when acting as Deep and Lock’s focus. The feeling of being a swift, invisible bird able to go anywhere, do anything…it had been truly wonderful, she had to admit. It was probably the only thing she didn’t regret. That and the fact that they’d been able to find Sylvan and Sophie and verify that they were alive. But for how much longer?
I hope he really is taking care of her. Oh, Sophie, be safe! Come back to us soon. Kat felt a few tears of worry and weary exhaustion slip down her cheeks. She wasn’t normally the type to bawl but to say she’d had a stressful day would be an understatement. At least she could take some comfort in the fact that Sophie had been in one piece in her vision. And Lock and Deep seemed to have every confidence that Sylvan could keep her that way. Remembering his fright-night appearance, Kat tended to agree. But she still wasn’t looking forward to telling Liv that her twin sister was lost and in danger.
Wondering how she was going to break the bad news, Kat closed her eyes and leaned back against the smooth silver metal wall. God, she was tired. It really was too bad she hadn’t been able to take the couch in their guest suite as Lock had urged her to do. But who knew where she might have ended up if she’d started on the couch? Even with her horrible headache the weird connection between them had been insanely intense.
And even if they did keep their hands to themselves (which she doubted, remembering Deep’s hungry glare,) they felt too loudly to make sleep even a remote possibility. Whereas now, with a little distance between them, she was able to relax some. In fact, she was almost tired enough to drop off right where she was.
But I won’t, she thought, shifting a little to try and get more comfortable against the slightly curved, cool metal wall. Not going to do that. I need to stay awake. That way I can talk to Liv the minute she pokes her head out the door in the morning—providing she does, that is. I wonder how long the Beast Kindred can possibly keep going? And what the hell do they do about chafing? And when can I reasonably knock on the door without being afraid I’ll interrupt their tantric alien nookie?
Kat didn’t have the answers to any of her questions and she didn’t know what she was going to say when and if her friend ever came out of her suite. She just hoped Sophie was all right and that Lock and Deep really could pinpoint her location without any further help.
Because even for her best friends, Kat didn’t think she could go through another joining with the frightening and tempting Twin Kindred again.
Sixteen
Sophie watched as Sylvan transformed again. He went from being the sweet, kind, incredibly sexy male who had pleasured her thoroughly and patiently until she came harder than she ever had in her life, to a menacing killer in the blink of an eye. Fangs out, eyes red, and he seems to get twice as big all of a sudden, she thought uneasily. But his terrifying rage wasn’t directed at her, she reminded herself. He was just protecting her from the threat outside the door.
But he marked me, she thought as the growling increased in volume. Marked me really, really well. Isn’t that supposed to keep them away? She looked at Sylvan uncertainly, wishing she could ask him. But she was afraid to break his concentration and, to be honest, afraid of him period right now. Just because she knew his intimidating display wasn’t meant for her didn’t mean she wanted to risk getting too close to him at the moment.
So she waited, huddled in the middle of the bed, afraid to move—afraid to even breathe—until at last the growling began to die down. There was a snuffling noise outside and then some hoarse barking that sounded almost like a conversation—if the urlich could actually talk to each other. Suddenly, a high, wounded yip could be heard and then all the sounds retreated, as if whatever was making them was moving away from the cabin.
Sylvan continued to stand tense and silent for a long moment. Then, slowly, the tension left his muscles and the glare melted off his face. He turned to Sophie and took a deep breath. With a visible effort, he relaxed. Much to her relief, his fangs retracted and he seemed to shrink back down to his normal size—which was still pretty huge, but a lot less scary.
“Is…is it all right?” Sophie whispered, finally daring to speak when she saw that his pupils were no longer red.
He nodded stiffly. “It worked. The two that were here before were trying to convince their leader that they had found you. But she didn’t pick up your scent, so she punished them for leading the entire pack astray.”
“That must have been the hurt-sounding yelp we heard,” Sophie said. “So now what?”
Sylvan sighed wearily. “Now they’re hunting someplace else. If we’re lucky they’ll go back to the wreckage of our shuttle and start from the beginning. That will put them miles out of the way and we won’t have to worry about them for awhile.”
Sophie shivered. “I hope you’re right.”
“I do too.” He sank down on the side of the bed, his broad shoulders slumping. “At least we should have tonight to rest. And
if we can make it through the night we’ll be fine—the urlich are creatures of darkness. Sunlight incapacitates them.”
Sylvan looked like he could use as much rest as he could get. It occurred to Sophie that he must be exhausted. He’d done an amazing job of piloting, crash landed their ship without killing them, carried her halfway down a mountain, and dealt with her emotional and sexual angst as well as gearing himself up to fight off a pack of cyborg bloodhounds, all in the space of a few hours. No wonder he looked tired!
Feeling a little braver now that he was no longer in scary-psycho mode, she crawled to where he was sitting and positioned herself behind him. “You look really tense,” she said, placing her hands tentatively on his bare shoulders. “Would, uh, would you like a massage?” She wanted to kick herself the minute the words were out. God, that sounded so cheesy, like dialogue out of a bad porno or something.
But Sylvan nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Sophia. If you don’t mind I won’t refuse.”
“I’ll do my best but I’m not an expert masseuse or anything,” she told him, beginning to work on the knots in his back.
“That’s all right.” His voice was low and warm. “I just like the feel of your hands on me.”
His words sent a rush of heat through her veins and her nipples were suddenly tight under the blue shirt. “Thank you,” she murmured. “I…it’s nice you feel that way.”
They were silent for a moment as she worked on him, trying to ease the knots of tension out of his big body. She couldn’t help noticing how smooth and warm his skin was under her fingers and how good he smelled. Even though I know all about his mating scent I still can’t help being affected by it. The sharp, spicy aroma made her want to crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless.
But I can’t, she reminded herself sternly. Even though we have a kind of…of connection, it’s all just temporary. As soon as we get back to the Mother ship this will all be over. The thought made her sad even though she knew a relationship with the big warrior would never be possible. Not with her past and his solemn vow to never take a bride. Still…
“I’m sorry if I scared you when the urlich came back.” His deep voice broke her train of thought.
“You didn’t scare me,” she protested, lying only a little. “It was…I mean you looked really fierce but I knew your, uh, aggression wasn’t directed at me.”
“It wasn’t the first time either,” he said quietly. “Though I can understand how you would think it was. Especially when I started to mark you.”
“Yes, well…” Sophie really didn’t want to think about that. About the memories it had brought up to have such a large male start to climb on top of her and…well, she just didn’t want to think about it. It was much nicer to remember the second time, the way it felt to have him licking and kissing her so gently.
“Sophia, I want to talk to you about something but I don’t want you to be upset.” Sylvan was speaking carefully, as though choosing his words.
Uh-oh, I’m not going to like this. He’s probably going to remind me of his vow and tell me not to expect any kind of commitment once we get back to the ship. “What?” she asked as neutrally as she could.
“Earlier when we were talking you said something that made me wonder.”
“Wonder? Wonder about what?”
“You said ‘don’t do it to me again.’” Turning his head, he gave her a look that seemed to pierce right through her. “What did you mean by that?”
“I said that?” Sophie tried to laugh even though her heart was suddenly in her throat. “I don’t remember. I was upset—who knows what I said?”
He frowned skeptically. “All right. You also talked about having a ‘phobia’—an aversion to having me…” He cleared his throat. “On top of you. Even after you knew I wasn’t trying to take you against your will.”
Sophie felt cold. “Well I mean look at you. I’m not exactly petite but you’re so huge and muscular. I mean, I would feel like I was…was smothering. Don’t you remember I told you I’m claustrophobic?”
Sylvan shook his head. “No, I don’t think that’s it.”
“Well then what is it? What are you trying to say?” Sophie’s heart was pounding but she tried to sound normal—a little irritated, even.
It was apparent that Sylvan wasn’t buying her act. He was silent for a long moment then he spoke in a low voice. “Who was he?”
“What was who? What are you talking about?”
“The male who hurt you. Who was he and what did he do to you? Was he this ‘Burke’ you mentioned?”
Sophie felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her head. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nobody ever hurt me. I’m fine—perfectly fine,” she protested almost frantically.
Sylvan kept looking at her in that same, patient way that made her feel like screaming. “You’re lying,” he said at last.
“What?” She pulled her hands away from his shoulders and clenched them at her sides. “How dare you say that?”
“I notice you’re not denying it.” He didn’t sound angry, just tired.
Sophie was almost shaking, she was so upset. “How can you even ask me something like that? It’s so personal. I mean, I hardly even know you.”
She wished she could call the words back as soon as they left her lips. How could she claim to hardly know him after all they’d been through together that night? But if she apologized and took back her hasty, hurtful words she might have to admit…No, I won’t. I can’t.
Sylvan was still looking at her quietly and a little sadly. Finally he sighed and nodded. “If I have offended, then I ask your forgiveness.”
“It’s okay,” Sophie muttered, looking down at her hands. Things had been going so well. Why did he have to try and pry into her past? To dig up the old hurt she’d tried so hard to bury?
Sylvan stood up and stretched, the muscles in his broad back and arms flexing in a way that would have made her mouth water if she hadn’t been so upset. “I’m going to take a quick shower now. My senses tell me the urlich are long gone and I want to wash the remains of the cushioning gel from our landing off.”
Probably wants to wash off my scent too, and everything to do with me, Sophie thought miserably. Aloud she only said, “Okay. If you’re sure it’s safe, I’m going to bed.”
He nodded. “I won’t disturb you when I come out.”
She wasn’t sure how he would manage that since they would doubtless be sharing the bed but she only nodded back. As Sylvan went into the bathroom and shut the door, she climbed under the slightly musty-smelling sheets and tried to get comfortable in the strange bed.
Even though the mattress wasn’t lumpy or hard, she couldn’t seem to find a good position. She kept imagining Sylvan in the shower, lathering up with hot water running down his hard, naked body. If there hadn’t been so much standing between them, she might even have had the nerve to go join him. Not that he would want her there now.
Not after what I said. God, why did he have to bring it up? Why couldn’t he just let things be? We were doing so well and he seems like such a nice guy—when he’s not going all freaky-scary, that is. Now everything is weird between us and it’s going to stay weird because I am so not going there. I mean, why should I even talk about it? It was years and years ago…
Her mind ran on in an endless loop of regret and self-recrimination until she heard the water shut off. A few minutes later Sylvan came out. Water droplets sparkled on his shoulders in the weak light of the dying fire. He was wearing his black pants and carrying his boots in one hand while toweling his hair with the other.
Sophie closed her eyes at once and pretended to be asleep. She had decided that it would be better not to talk to him for the rest of the night. Maybe when they woke up in the morning he would be ready to start fresh without any embarrassing or hurtful talk about the past.
She watched through half-slitted eyes as he walked toward the bed. Every muscle in her body tensed as sh
e waited for him to climb in beside her. Would he get under the covers with her? Or sleep on top of them to give her more space? Did she want him to give her more space? Would he—
Her thoughts were cut off abruptly as he bypassed the bed and lay down on the rug in front of the fire.
What the hell? Why did he do that? Is he that mad at me?
“Sylvan?” she said before she thought about it.
“Yes?” He didn’t sound at all surprised to hear her awake and alert.
“You…I…” She wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Are you laying down there because you’re mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad.” He sighed and shifted. She could hear the whispering sound of the rug under his large body.
“Well, then why…?”
“It’s a better position to watch the door from. And…”
“And?” she prompted.
“And if I get into bed with you, I’ll want to hold you. Touch you.” His voice was deep and soft. “But I don’t think you want to be touched right now.”
“Oh.” Sophie nibbled her lower lip and then had to muffle a squeak of pain. It made her realize Sylvan still hadn’t gotten around to healing her lip where he’d bitten her, which seemed like a lifetime ago. And he never will now, she realized sadly. I’ve ruined everything…everything.
“Goodnight,” he said softly and she heard him shift again, as if trying to get more comfortable.
“Goodnight,” she echoed. Turning on her side, she buried her face in a pillow and tried to get to sleep. But as exhausting as the night had been, she still couldn’t relax. The misunderstanding between herself and Sylvan was pressing on her like a lead weight, making any kind of rest impossible. She turned over and then flipped her pillow to the cool side, hoping it would feel better against her hot cheek. She tried counting backwards from a hundred and then from a thousand but she couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t relax and she was just getting more and more tense and restless and—
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 55