“Valued? Honey—we’re the cat’s pajamas! Just look at the way they’re looking at us.” She motioned to the hungry glances that were coming from several different sets of twin males scattered around the large gallery. “Why, every single man in this room would be on us like a duck on a junebug if we weren’t already mated!”
“I’m not though—mated, I mean,” Kat said.
Piper’s perfectly shaped eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Not mated? Then what are you doing here?”
“It’s a long story.” Kat glanced up again to see if Deep or Lock was listening. She really wanted to pour her heart out to a sympathetic ear but she didn’t want them hearing everything she said.
Piper seemed to understand the situation. “Come on, honey, let’s go powder our noses and you can tell me all about it,” she said, hooking her arm through Kat’s.
Suddenly Deep was blocking the way. “Where do you think you’re going?” He frowned at Kat.
Piper looked at Kat. “I thought you said you weren’t mated?”
“I’m not.” Kat frowned unhappily. “Look, Deep, this is Piper and as you can see she’s female. We’re going to the ladies restroom—” She looked at Piper. “Uh, they do have a ladies restroom here, right? I mean, it’s not unisex or anything?”
“Heavens no!” Piper smiled sweetly at Deep and Lock who was now standing beside his brother. “You two just run along for a little while. I promise I’ll keep your little gal safe.”
Deep didn’t budge. “Oh you will, will you?” he murmured, one black eyebrow cocked in obvious disbelief.
Lock cleared his throat. “Forgive me, my lady, but we don’t even know you.”
“I’m Piper. I’m the mate of Ambassadors Knows Much and Thinks Swiftly.” She patted Lock on the arm. “You two just go on over and talk to Much and Swifty, as I call ‘em,” She nodded her head at a pair of Twin Kindred who were standing off to one side. “While we run along to the ladies room.”
“Her mates are males of renown,” Lock said, talking to Deep.
“Well, if you’re just going to the room of convenience…” Deep was still frowning.
“That’s all. I promise.” Piper nodded at both of them. “It’s okay—we just want a little Earth girl talk.”
“We’ll accompany you,” Deep decided.
Kat sighed as the two of them flanked herself and Piper and they moved in a unit through the milling crowd. It felt like all eyes were on them and she couldn’t help feeling embarrassed. This is so stupid! Like I’m some helpless little girl who can’t go anywhere without her bodyguards. Finally they came to a large pink and gold archway set in the back wall. It was right beside a flamboyant hologram display which appeared to be naked people covered in red, green, and brown paint pretending to be trees.
“From Earth,” Piper said, nodding at it. “You wouldn’t catch any native Mooners doing nonsense like that but they think our stuff is just to die for.”
“Mooners?” Kat raised an eyebrow.
“That’s just what I call ‘em.” Piper nodded at the crowd of Twin Moon natives before turning to Lock and Deep. “All right now,” she said, giving them a bright smile and a nod. “You two just run along. We’re going to be in here a little while.”
“When will you be back?” Deep wanted to know. He was still scowling, presumably at the idea of having to leave Kat alone.
“When we’re damn well good and ready,” Piper snapped, apparently losing patience. She towed Kat into the pink and gold entrance which curved off to the right, putting them out of sight of the main room. “Lord, those two are overprotective! And you say you’re not even mated to them yet?”
“No and I’m not going to be either.” Kat looked around the large, parlor like room they found themselves in. “Hey, this is really nice.”
It looked like an old fashioned power room down to the deep, plush chairs and red velvet wallpaper. Though when she took a closer look she saw that the wallpaper was some kind of moss, not velvet, and the chairs had an almost organic look—as though they’d been grown instead of made. There were also hanging plants, dripping exotic looking pink and gold and pale green blossoms everywhere.
As if in contrast to the organic appearance of the room, the walls were filled with wide angle, full length 3-D viewers for checking your makeup and dress. Kat saw dozens of herself reflected in the viewers. The new deep green toga-dress Lock had picked out for her complimented her auburn hair, which she’d decided to wear down for once.
“It is nice, isn’t it?” Piper looked around, smiling fondly. “Of all the Kindred trade planets, Twin Moons is the closest you’re gonna get to Earth. The islands, anyway—all bets are off on their continent but nobody goes there, so who cares?”
“You’ve been to the other trade planets?” Kat asked, interested.
Piper nodded. “Oh sure, honey—not that they’re much fun. Rageron is just this horrible, humid blue jungle full of critters so scary they’d make a gator cry. And on Tranq Prime they all live in caves and eat bugs.” She shivered. “Can you imagine? Of course here on Twin Moons they have the Grieza worms, but I can handle those since they taste like chocolate.”
“Those are good.” Kat had eaten some at Liv’s wedding and really enjoyed them despite their unappetizing appearance. “I haven’t eaten much Twin Moons food yet,” she confessed. “And what I did eat…well, I really shouldn’t have eaten it. I just…” She trailed off, not sure how much she wanted to reveal.
But Piper’s curiosity was clearly piqued. “What, honey? You can’t just leave a girl hanging like that—what did you eat?”
“Bonding fruit,” Kat admitted in a low voice. “Almost a whole bowl full of it. That’s why my guys—uh, Deep and Lock—are being so overprotective. They say I’m giving off some kind of a, uh, scent, because of it.”
Piper’s vivid green eyes widened. “You ate a whole bowl in one sitting? Was it a big bowl? How many did you eat?”
“Five or six,” Kat said with a sigh. “I’d just woken up from a long, uh, illness, I guess you could call it, and I was famished. But so far I don’t feel any different.”
“Oh you will, honey. You will,” Piper assured her. “But if it’s the first time you’ve had bonding fruit, it will probably take a little time to kick in—that’s how it is with us Earth girls. But once it does—watch out! You’re gonna be hotter than a firecracker on the Fourth of July.”
“Seriously?” Kat frowned unhappily. “I was hoping that Deep and Lock were just exaggerating. Or maybe that it didn’t work on me.”
“Oh, it’ll work all right. But if you’re lucky it won’t start until after the party when you can be alone with your men.” Piper grinned at her and shook her head. “If you’re not bonded yet you sure as hell will be pretty soon.”
“What?” Kat began to feel panicky. “But I don’t want to be.”
“Is it the whole two poles in one hole thing, honey?” Piper clucked her tongue sympathetically. “Don’t let that worry you. Now I’m not gonna lie to you, it is kind of a tight fit. But once that bonding fruit gets working on you, you’ll be feeling no pain. It’s like a mixture of Spanish fly and valium—you’ll be hopped up and cooled out at the same time.”
“No, it’s not that. Or not just that,” Kat protested. “I don’t get along with them at all—one of them, anyway.”
“Now let me guess—that would be your dark twin. Am I right?” Piper raised an eyebrow at her and Kat nodded.
“Lock is really sweet. But Deep…we just can’t get along.” She looked down at her hands. “My parents divorced when I was twelve and my grandmother raised me but before then, they were constantly yelling and screaming at each other. I just…I don’t want to be stuck for life in a relationship like that and…” She looked up. “And I don’t even know why I’m telling you this when I just met you.”
“That’s ‘cause I’m easy to talk to.” Piper smiled at her. “Everybody says so. I was a bartender back on Earth back before my men cal
led me as a bride. Worked at a club in downtown Houston called Foolish Pride. I bet I listened to fifty sob stories a night and you know what? I kinda miss it.”
“You’re good at it.” Kat smiled at her. “Did…do you have the same problem with your, uh, guys? Not that Deep and Lock are mine or anything,” she continued hurriedly. “I mean, we kind of all got stuck together by accident and now I’m having a really hard time getting away.”
“Isn’t that just the way?” Piper nodded sympathetically. “As for dark twins—they’re always a problem. Ask any female on God’s green Earth who’s mated to one. They’re contrary and irritating and just plain ornery and yours seems to be worse than most.”
“He certainly is,” Kat agreed, thinking of Deep’s tendency to get under her skin. “He’s sarcastic and moody and dark…” She sighed. “But he’s very protective, too. And loyal and gentle when he wants to be. And…”
“And you’re really confused,” Piper finished for her.
Kat nodded gratefully. “I really am. But I do know I don’t want to be bonded to anyone until I’m ready. And I am so far from being ready right now it isn’t funny.”
“Then stay away from them tonight when the bonding fruit kicks in,” Piper said seriously. “Ask for a private room or lock yourself in the bathroom but whatever you do, don’t wind up between them or it’s gonna be game, set, and match. I promise you that.”
“Okay, thanks for the warning.” Kat crossed her arms over her chest. “Damn it, all this could have been avoided if I’d had a shot of translation bacteria before I came. Now I’m stuck here on a strange planet with no idea of what anyone is saying. It’s so frustrating.”
Piper smiled. “I don’t know what to tell you about your man problems but the translation thing is something I can help you with.” Reaching into a fold of her toga, she pulled out a tiny little clutch purse the exact color of her dress. “Now let me see, I’m sure I have one left…ah-ha!” Triumphantly, she pulled out what looked like a small green caterpillar with a head on either end and long purple hairs growing out of its hide. “Here you go,” she said, handing the half-inch long, wriggling creature to Kat.
“Uh, thanks.” Kat took it very reluctantly—she’d never liked bugs or insects much. She wasn’t afraid of them like Sophie, but she was more likely to step on them than make them pets.
Piper took a look at her expression and burst out laughing. “You don’t have any idea what it is or what it’s for, do you?”
“No,” Kat confessed. “I don’t.”
“It’s a convo-pillar. You put it in your ear and it picks up whatever you hear and translates it into your own language for your brain. It works the other way, too—just think what you want to say and it’ll send thought messages to your speech center and help you talk the other person’s language. Isn’t that great?”
“Uh, did you say you put it in your ear?” Kat frowned. “Look, I don’t like to sound squeamish but I’ve seen Wrath of Khan. I mean, it’s an oldie but a goody right? And anything alive that goes into your ear is bad news as far as I’m concerned.”
“Oh, please, honey,” Piper said a touch impatiently. “If you’re afraid you won’t be able to get it out again, don’t be. Look how easy it is.” She tugged twice at her left earlobe and a small orange caterpillar with pink hairs crawled out of her ear and onto her finger. “See?” she held it out to Kat. “Easy as pie.”
“How come yours is orange and pink and mine is green and purple?” Kat asked doubtfully.
“That’s cause the one I gave you is a new breed—special.” Piper smiled. “Supposed to be almost no lag time at all between thought and translation with that little bugger. I was saving him for a special occasion but I’d say you need him more than me.”
“Well, thank you.” Kat was still reluctant to put something alive in her ear but she didn’t see how she could refuse now without offending her new friend. “Uh, what happens when they, you know, die?”
“Oh, they stop working long before that,” Piper assured her. “When you stop understanding what people are saying, just tug your earlobe, get him out, and get a new one. If you can, that is. I don’t know of a supplier on Twin Moons—I get mine from a colony near Rageron.” Lifting her hand, she allowed the tiny creature to crawl back into her ear canal. “Now you. Go on.”
Wincing, Kat lifted the green convo-pillar to her ear. Oh God, I really don’t want to do this! The tiny hairs tickled horribly as the little creature crawled in her ear canal and she had to curl her hands into fists to keep herself from yanking it out again. It was hard to overcome the instinctive response to scream and freak out at the feeling of something living going where it very clearly didn’t belong. But she squeezed her eyes shut and reminded herself grimly of the benefits of having it there. She’d be able to understand everyone around her now and avoid any more disastrous mistakes like the one that had led her to eat an entire bowl of bonding fruit. And she could apologize in person to Deep and Lock’s mother, who had been looking at her sadly ever since Lock had explained to her that they weren’t really a threesome after all. And—
“Okay, it’s in. You can open your eyes.” Piper sounded like she was laughing. “I know it takes some getting used to but believe me, in a minute or two you won’t even know it’s there.”
Kat wasn’t sure about that, but at least the little creature wasn’t moving around any more. It seemed to have found a comfortable position and was staying still. Instead of the feeling of having a hairy bug in her ear, Kat felt more like someone had plugged it with a piece of cotton. “It makes it kind of hard to hear on one side,” she said uncertainly.
“No it doesn’t,” Piper said confidently. “You think so because of the way it feels but actually the convo-pillar conveys sound as naturally as your own eardrum does.”
“You’re right.” Kat nodded. “My ear feels like it’s plugged up, but actually I can still hear just as well on that side.”
“Of course you can.” Piper hooked her arm through Kat’s. “Come on—let’s go try it out.”
Kat frowned, suddenly worried. “Uh, I’m not sure how Deep and Lock are going to feel about this.”
“Please, honey.” Piper made a shooing gesture. “What they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em. Here—we’ll go out the back way.” She tugged Kat toward the opposite end of the large room where there was a small door.
“We’re just going to leave without telling them?” Even though she’d been longing to go off on her own, Kat was still reluctant.
“Of course. Aren’t we bad?” Piper giggled and tugged at her arm. “Come on, it’ll be an adventure. And don’t worry—we’ll get back to your boys before you know it.”
“Well…okay.” Though she still had some doubts, Kat allowed herself to be led out the much smaller, back exit from the ladies room.
She just hoped the convo-pillar worked. If she had to wear a live insect in her ear, it had damn well better be worth it.
Eleven
“Are these the only thing you guys eat or are they just prison food?” Lauren lifted one of the cardboard pop tarts questioningly after the tall man with the red-on-black eyes slid it across to her. “I mean, not that I’m not grateful,” she went on hurriedly. “Because I am. I was just wondering.”
He had been heading for the door to the cell they were keeping her in, but he turned back with obvious reluctance. “Nutra-wafers are specially formulated to provide all the protein, vitamins, and nutrition a warrior needs in a single work cycle. They should keep you in good health until the AllFather is ready for you.”
Lauren cringed at the mention of his father but she was determined not to let fear shut her down. Her jailor was the only person she ever saw—her only hope of escape. She had to form a connection with him.
“I was just wondering if you guys had any kind of junk food,” she said, trying to smile. “You know, Cheetos, Doritos, cupcakes?”
He frowned. “What are those? What is ‘junk food?’”
He shook his head. “We have nothing like that. What would be the point?”
“Pleasure is the point,” Lauren said, looking up at him. “For instance, I own a cupcake bakery called The Sweet Spot back on Earth. Nobody who comes in my shop actually needs one of my delicious cupcakes but they buy them for pleasure.”
“I still don’t understand. Why should one take pleasure in eating?” He was still just standing there, staring down at her. Lauren wished he would sit down. If she could just get him to stay with her a little while she might have a chance of connecting with him.
“You wouldn’t ask that if you could taste one of my deep, dark chocolate devil’s food cupcakes,” she said enticingly. “The cake itself is dense and moist and it just fits in the palm of your hand. Well…” She looked at his large, rough looking hands. “You could probably hold two or three. But anyway, when they first come out of the oven they’re hot and sweet and sticky—they practically melt in your mouth.”
“That sounds…strange.”
“Not strange—delicious. Stay and talk to me a little while. I’ll tell you all about it.”
He frowned. “Why should I stay? I have duties to attend to.”
“Because I’m lonely.” She didn’t have to lie about that—it was the absolute truth. “Please…just talk to me for a minute,” she whispered, almost pleading.
“I shouldn’t.” But he settled himself slowly in the opposite corner of her cell and made a motion with his hand. “Go on—tell me more.”
“I frost them twice,” Lauren said, her heart thumping. “With homemade butter cream frosting. First, when they’re hot out of the oven, I put on a thin layer that just melts right down into the cake. After they cool, I frost them again. I pipe out a thick, creamy dollop right on top and then cover them with chocolate sprinkles that crunch when you take a bite.” She closed her eyes, remembering the deep, chocolate flavor wistfully. “They’re so good people come from all over to get one.”
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 97