“But look what they did to you!” Lauren protested. “It must hurt horribly! And how will you ever get it off?”
“What makes you think I would wish to remove it?” Xairn asked quietly. “Did I not say I was proud to wear your name on my body?”
“How can you say that? How can you be so calm about this whole thing?” Lauren heard the tremble in her own voice but she couldn’t seem to stop it. “I mean now even after…after you leave, you’ll always have my name on you like…like a stain you can’t get off.”
“It’s not a stain,” he said softly. “It is a brand—a mark of possession. It denotes ownership.”
Lauren shook her head. “I don’t understand. Whatever point you’re trying to make—I don’t get it.”
Xairn looked at her steadily. “I spoke the truth when I told the Judge of the Market that you owned me.”
“What are you talking about?” Lauren protested. “How could I own you?”
“Because I am yours—body and soul.” To her surprise, he sank slowly to his knees and looked up at her earnestly. “I realized something when I nearly lost you the second time to the Spider, Lauren—I cannot leave you.” His deep voice was hoarse with emotion. “It is wrong and selfish and I still fear hurting you—fear it desperately—but I simply don’t have the strength to leave you on Earth and go.” He bowed his head. “You have mastered me without raising a finger—I am yours.”
Lauren could hardly believe it. Her heart started pounding like crazy with a dizzying mixture of hope and fear. “You…you mean it? Xairn, do you really mean it? You’ll stay with me on Earth? You won’t leave?” She got on her knees in front of him and cupped his face in both hands. “Look in my eyes and tell me again,” she begged. “Please, I need to hear it again.”
He looked at her, his blue-green eyes filled with pain. “I am completely serious—I will stay with you. But…”
“But what?” Lauren looked at him anxiously. “I thought I owned you—there are conditions?”
“Not conditions so much as requests.” Xairn still looked pained. “I will stay with you for as long as you want me but I would ask that we limit our physical contact. And that there should be nothing…” he swallowed. “Nothing sexual between us.”
“What?” Lauren shook her head. “Xairn, honey, we can’t be in a relationship with no touching. I don’t know if you noticed but I’m a really touchy person.” She ran her hands down the smooth column of his neck and over his broad shoulders to illustrate her point. “I mean, I just can’t help myself—I need contact. And I bet you do too. Don’t you like it when I touch you?”
“I do.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple moving convulsively. “Much more than I should. Please, Lauren, this request is for your own safety.”
“I’m not worried about that,” she said, squeezing his shoulders. “Not a bit. I feel safer with you than I ever have with anyone else in my whole life.”
“Well you shouldn’t.” He looked frustrated. “Don’t you know by now what your touch does to me? How even the lightest brush of your fingertips across my skin makes me react? I can’t trust myself with you, Lauren. And you…you shouldn’t trust me either.”
Lauren let out a surprised burst of laughter. “Xairn, be serious! You don’t honestly think you’re going to snap and rape me, do you?”
He closed his eyes tightly and pulled away from her hands. “That is exactly what I fear,” he whispered.
Lauren was a little taken aback. “Xairn, honey, you would never…”
“How do you know what I would or wouldn’t do?” he demanded, his eyes flashing briefly red-on-black. “When I don’t even know myself? I only know the ways of my people, Lauren, and they are savage and sadistic.” He ran a hand through his thick black hair distractedly. “I don’t even know how to touch you, how to bring you pleasure instead of pain. I don’t know how to let you touch me without wanting to do things…things I do not even wish to think about.”
“Then let me teach you.”
“What?”
Lauren reached out to cup his face again and was relieved when he didn’t pull away. “Of course you don’t know how to touch or be touched,” she said softly, looking into his eyes. “Not after the way you were raised. So I’m going to teach you.” She stroked his cheek. “And I promise you, baby, we can go as slow as you want.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “But what if I lose control? If I hurt you, I could never forgive myself. I would want to die.”
“You’re not going to hurt me,” Lauren insisted. “You keep talking about the ways of your people but you’ve got some of me in you now, too. Look at yourself, Xairn—you don’t have to be afraid. Surely the human DNA you got from me will help control your Scourge impulses—don’t you think?”
He opened his eyes and frowned. “I hadn’t considered that. Maybe…maybe you’re right.” He looked so hopeful and uncertain that Lauren wanted to hug him and hold him close but somehow she restrained herself.
“Of course I’m right,” she said firmly. “For now, lets just get home and everything will be fine.”
“I hope so.” He shook his head. “I truly do, though I’m afraid this will end badly. I know I should have the strength to leave you—”
“Don’t you dare!” Lauren glared at him. “Don’t even think about it.”
A small, sad smile crossed his lips. “Let me finish my thought, please. I was going to say that I know I should leave you but I can’t.” He gave her a piercing look. “I can’t.”
“Good.” Lauren stroked his cheek. “And don’t worry, Xairn, whatever issues you have, we’ll work through them together. I promise.”
Xairn nodded and sighed. Hesitantly, he reached up to brush his hand over her shoulder. “Thank you, Lauren. For accepting me as I am.”
“Thank you for protecting me,” she said quietly. “For taking the pain that should have been mine. For leaving your home and everything you’ve ever known to come with me.” Leaning forward, she pressed her mouth to his in a careful, chaste kiss. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.
She felt his big frame tremble and then he returned her kiss tentatively, his mouth moving over hers with a shy uncertainty that nearly broke her heart. “I…I love you as well, Lauren.” His voice was hoarse with emotion and she wondered if she was the only woman he had ever said those words to. Almost certainly she was. God how she wanted to pull him close and comfort him, to show him that everything was going to be all right! To prove to him that he could trust himself as she trusted him. But she sensed now wasn’t the time for that.
“Good,” she said lightly, pulling away with a smile. “Then let’s go home.”
Seventeen
The AllFather tapped his skeletal fingers against the arm of his black metal throne. It was etched in burning lines of poisonous green, made of the same tainted metal he employed in his nutrient slime. Much of his power was derived from this small reminder of his home world but most of it was inside him, gathered in the empty barren wasteland that should have held his heart.
Where can they be? Where will he take her? He frowned. Why, to her home of course—to that insignificant planet of hers, that is where she will wish to go. But how can I find them in their altered genetic states? How? What weakness can I exploit to bring them back?
Then again, why should he bother? His peak was past and would not return again for many years. He couldn’t breed the girl as he had originally intended. The prophecy was voided—all hope for the regeneration of the Scourge race was lost.
May you be damned, my son. I will bring you back if only for revenge.
But when he considered it, he realized that revenge was not the only reason he had to call his errant son back to the Fathership. He had felt…changes in Xairn during their last encounter. His son was maturing—coming into his own sexually as a Scourge male at last. For years the AllFather had doubted it would ever happen, but the human female had acted as a trigger, undoing years of repressi
on and releasing the beast within.
And with the advent of his growing sexual energy, Xairn’s personal power would grow as well. He might even come to rival the AllFather himself, in time. Power like that could not be ignored. It must be dealt with and soon. But how?
The altered DNA would keep him from finding and linking to Xairn—if the alteration held. But Scourge genes were strong—as virulent as weeds in a garden that grew high and fast, choking the other plants and flowers around them. Such genes might be masked for a little while but violent emotions should bring them forth again. But how to evoke those emotions when he didn’t know exactly where his son was and couldn’t get through the Kindred’s security net around the planet to search for him?
For security measures around Earth had been tightened considerably—not even a small transport pod containing an urlich could get through. And only Kindred ships were allowed in and out of the net—a fact that Xairn had no doubt considered when taking one of those, instead of a Scourge ship, when he’d left the home world with Lauren in the first place.
“Even if I found him, I could not get to him,” the AllFather muttered, frowning with his lipless mouth. “I mussst draw him out—bring him to me. But how? How?” Suddenly it came to him—a solution so obvious he began to laugh—a high, hissing sound that made his personal guards turn their heads warily in his direction. “What need have I to draw him out? To evoke emotionsss in him? Ssshe will do it for me,” the AllFather hissed
It was true. The human girl would provoke the change in Xairn—would bring his Scourge DNA to the surface and cause him to mature both sexually and in terms of his personal power. The moment Xairn took her, he would reach his peak, and his mind would be open once more to the AllFather’s manipulations. Then he would coax his son back to him for a final confrontation. And once he had Xairn within his grasp…
“His power ssshall be mine. A sssecond birth. A regeneration.” The crimson eyes blazed with greed.
Of course in order to absorb Xairn’s power, he would have to kill his only son, but the AllFather didn’t let such small details bother him. Xairn had spoiled one plan—the plan to regenerate their race through the female of the prophecy. Very well then, the AllFather would make a new plan—a far deadlier one. What need had he of a newly revived race if he himself could live forever? The girl was now superfluous—the one he needed was Xairn and Xairn alone.
But it would not do for Xairn to know of this new direction in the AllFather’s thinking. He needed to believe that it was still the human girl the AllFather was after. That Lauren was still in danger. Xairn must not learn that he himself was now the target. Unfortunately, there was a possibility he would glean the information from the AllFather’s mind if they established a new link. Unless the AllFather could cloud the issue.
Frowning, the AllFather left his throne and began to pace. “What ssshall I do, how ssshall I draw him to me while keeping him ignorant of my true desiresss?”
When the idea came to him, he began to smile. It was simple—blood simple. And it had the beauty of fulfilling two needs at once. The AllFather licked his lipless mouth with a dry, pointed, papery tongue. He might as well begin the plan at once—it had been too long since he’d received emotional sustenance.
“Alpha,” he said, looking up at his nearest guard, which he had regrown in the vats. “Prepare the molecular transssfer beam. I am hungry…”
Eighteen
“This is really good—what did you call it again?” Eagerly, Nadiah dug the rounded eating instrument called a spoon into the cold, creamy confection that came in colorful little tubs from Earth.
“Ice cream.” Olivia took another bite as well. “This one is called ‘Chunky Monkey’.”
Nadiah stopped with the spoon halfway to her mouth. “But isn’t a monkey a small chattering Earth creature that lives in trees?” she asked faintly. “Are…are you telling me I’m eating chunks of its flesh?”
“Ugh.” Sophia shivered. “What a thought! The poor monkeys!”
Nadiah felt ill. “Is that why this stuff is called ‘I scream’? Because the animal screams when they make it into dessert?”
“No, no, no.” Olivia put a hand on her arm. “It’s called ice cream—you know, cream that’s been chilled until it’s icy? And there are no actual monkey chunks in it, I promise. It’s just called that because it’s banana flavored and monkeys love bananas and…” She shook her head. “Oh, never mind. Just eat it.”
The twins’ best friend Kat, snickered. “Good thing we didn’t get any ‘Chubby Hubby.’”
“You!” Olivia reached across the couch they were all sitting on to slap at Kat playfully.
Nadiah frowned. “Chubby Hubby? You have ice cream that tastes like a plump male life-mate?”
Kat laughed until she almost choked and Sophie shook her head. “Kat’s just teasing you, Nadiah. And anyway, whatever you think of it, you have to admit this stuff is better than that fleeta pudding you guys eat on Tranq Prime.”
“I’d have to agree with you there.” Nadiah nodded. “I mean, I know it’s our planet’s national dish and everything but I’ve always hated it.”
“Imagine that,” Kat said dryly. “Not wanting to eat pudding made of bug guts.”
“Kat, please!” Olivia, who had been queasier than ever lately, put a hand over her mouth. “Oh God…just the idea! I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Sorry!” Kat jumped up and ran around the couch to her friend. “Come on, let’s go in the kitchen and I’ll get you something fizzy to drink. How about some nice ginger ale?”
“Maybe,” Olivia said faintly. She allowed her friend to help her up and they both went into the large food prep area, leaving Sophia and Nadiah to finish the ice cream.
Nadiah reached for another bite…and then put down her spoon with a sigh.
“Nadiah, are you all right?” Sophia put down her spoon as well and scooted closer.
“Of course I am.” Nadiah tried to smile. “I feel fine—why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, it’s just that you seem kind of down since the wedding—I mean the joining ceremony, you know.” Sophia put a hand on her arm. “I know how excited you were to do the luck kiss with a real Kindred warrior. I’m really sorry things got so screwed up.”
Remembering the luck kiss she’d preformed with the human detective made Nadiah’s cheeks get hot. “That’s all right,” she murmured, looking down at her hands. “It wasn’t so bad.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t have been if he hadn’t been such a jerk, afterwards.” Sophia sighed. “I don’t know what his problem was.”
Nadiah shrugged. “He didn’t approve of my gift. Grandmamam told me there would be people like him when I came into my power. People hate and fear what they don’t understand.”
“Well, he’s not your type, anyway.” Sophia grinned. “But I know plenty of guys who are and a bunch of them are on board. What you need to do is go out to some of the on-board clubs the Blood Kindred hang out in. Sylvan and I can take you to one—that way he can make sure you get a good one.”
Nadiah rolled her eyes. “You mean a male he approves of.”
“Well, you are his baby cousin,” Sophia said. “Which means he feels the need to look out for you. That’s how Kindred are, you know—extremely protective of the ones they love. You’ll have to get used to that if you end up mated to one.” She grabbed Nadiah’s hand and squeezed it. “So what do you say? Want to go out tonight and paint the Mother ship red?”
Nadiah wasn’t sure what changing the color of the ship they were on had to do with having a good time, but regardless, she just didn’t feel like it. “I’m sorry, Sophie.” She shook her head regretfully. “But I don’t want to go out. I think I’d rather stay in my room if you don’t mind.”
A frown creased Sophia’s forehead. “Yes, I do mind! I don’t like the idea of you sitting alone in your room by yourself doing nothing. What’s wrong with you, Nadiah?” Her voice dropped a little and worry filled her cle
ar green eyes. “You’ve changed since the last time I saw you. Back on Tranq Prime you were so bubbly and carefree. And now, well…you’re so quiet and reserved. You seem like…I don’t know, like you have a weight pressing down on you or something.”
“It’s the Sight.” Nadiah sighed. “It’s been weighing on me ever since I came aboard the Mother ship.”
“Do you mean the…the vision you had after the wedding?” Sophia asked hesitantly.
“The al’lei, yes.” Nadiah nodded. “That’s part of it. But I’ve been having dreams too and they don’t feel like normal dreams.”
Sophia’s eyes widened. “You mean like more waking dreams? More visions?”
Nadiah shook her head. “No, these come after I go to sleep. And they don’t feel like visions of things that are happening right when I dream them. It’s more like they’re warnings…portents of things to come.”
“So…the dreams are showing you the future?”
“In a manner of speaking.” Nadiah sighed. “But I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me.”
“Are they about Lauren again?” Kat asked, coming back. “Sorry,” she added, as she and Olivia settled back down on the couch. “We couldn’t help overhearing. So are you dreaming about Lauren?”
“I don’t know if it’s her or not,” Nadiah admitted, frowning. “It certainly looks like her. I keep seeing a girl with light brown skin and black hair but I can’t see her face. All I know is that I get the feeling she’s in terrible danger…and then she’s gone.”
Kat frowned. “Well, I have to tell you, I think Lauren is all right. Deep and Lock and I kind of, uh, checked up on her the other night. From what we could tell, she had been in danger but was safe—at least she was when we checked.”
Brides of the Kindred Volume One: Books 1-4 Page 143